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bzane

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  1. Holy Moe. When I saw the headline, I was shocked; then, I figured, probably for two firsts and a conditional second-third. Was I ever surprised! BUT! As noted above- Chucky is back! Only Jon Gruden saw the true worth of The Hack Man back during the draft: In that article, Gruden wrote: "The biggest surprise to me on Hackenberg is that no one is really talking about him in the first round. This was the No. 1 prospect in the nation a few years ago and someone who showed during his freshman year he could produce at a high level in a true NFL-style offense. What he showed during that first year at Penn State—before the coaching change, before the system change, before all the things that derailed him—would be enough for me to take this guy early. This man can run a 4.7-second 40, he is tough as hell and he works relentlessly. He just has to get in the right system with the right people and refocus on the small details." "Aw, shucks!"
  2. Top 10 QB

    The Peter Dinklage List! 1. Nick Foles, Philadelphia Eagles: It is here that I achieved my greatest triumph, demonstrating with deductive reasoning, a priori propositions, and incontrovertible PROOF!, that a QB enjoying my favor has assumed the Mantle of Greatness! (yes, and the Super Bowl win after Wentz's injury may have helped a little, too). And, OH!- I know that some of the naysayers and Debbie Downers will claim that Foles was surrounded by an overwhelming Eagles' team, and that I, Dinklage, have used this same argument in the past, videlicet, that there are quarterbacks overrated owing to powerful supporting casts, and have myself, I, Dinklage, devalued said QB's for this same reason; but, AH!, I submit that such are the grace, skills, and manly beauty of Nick Foles that he may be given a pass on this criterion, this once, and the fact that this double-standard just happens to support my position here is not germane. 2. Case Keenum, Minnesota Vikings, America's Top-40 And Wherever He Ended Up: After a brief seven-year gestation period, Case Keenum last year ascended to the lofty summit of Valhalla, both in the Norse-Mythology sense, and that of the Minnesota Vikings; again, the fact the he was throwing to Stefon Diggs and Adam Thielen, and they had that rookie RB that was okay I guess, are in no way credible examples of a strong supporting cast lifting an average quarterback above and beyond his past performances, and I would appreciate it if you guys would quit throwing that in my face as indicative of hypocrisy because you lack the forensic chops to debate with me, Dinklage; I rest my Case! 3. Geno Smith, Vagabond Future Star Of The New York Giants: Again, I, Dinklage, stood alone facing into the chill wind and stinging stars of popular opinion to tout my man Geno as a young Warren Moon, a coming Aaron Rodgers, a sure bet to supplant an aging Eli (the quarterback, although Geno probably could play cornerback, if need be!); in his all-too-brief debut for the Giants this past season, Geno proved me painfully correct, and I have absolute and confident ex-pec-tation that THIS year, given a new regime in New York not hide-bound by tradition, that Geno will finally..........................Hunh? What? Chargers agree to one-year contract with veteran quarterback Geno Smith Oh, okay- never mind, then! Oh, Geno, Geno- lonely is my heart without you! How Green was my Valley, then, and the Valley of them that have gone.
  3. Current Top 10 NFL HC

    Um, sorry, couldn't tell if this meant currently-employed coaches, or recent-vintage ones. Aaaah, what the hey, guess I'll just do it my own way. See how many of the following famous coaches you can name! "Please listen to all options before making your selection, as our Menu has recently changed" Dynamic, free-thinking college coach who was just what the staid old NFL needed. Winner of the coveted Richard Simmons Award for Supposed Nutritional Guru Who Is A Little Fat Man Himself. Beloved "Players' Coach", holds the Best Winning Record of All Time......... sorry! That's the Best Losing Record of All-Time. "Whoops!" Former All-Pro linebacker who discovered that rushing up and down the sidelines glaring with little pig eyes doesn't work in coaching: Sly fun-loving coach caught cheating on national television; all the Lyin' and Denyin' can't beat the live cameras. Subject of upcoming movie, Old 8-and-8: The Jeff Fisher Story, (oops! Gave it away)- to be played by Josh Brolin Watch your feet! Once-and-Future Fat Man who lost weight with a lap-band; gained weight when lap-band removed; and ran multiple underperforming football teams along the way. Best For Last: Ol' "Punt-Fake", that master trickster, himself!
  4. Chaotically works for me; it's done pretty well for the New York Giants in recent years! Whack 'em, and dump the bodies in the New Jersey Swamplands. Angry lout who would take the money and immediately go South. The Good Ol' Boys, of course! Welp, based upon the sterling example on the Giants of the last ten years, I would develop short-term memory loss about that thing referred to as "the 3rd Round", and keep my most-wanted players a deep-dark secret, like wearing a tee-shirt reading I LUV LEONARD FLOYD AND JACK CONKLIN Athletic, Stupid, and Immature work for me! Neglect to tell them personally and let them find out on Twitter. They would ALL be P/O/S on my team; so, no worries!!
  5. CW21's 2018 NFL Draft Review (Eagles Up)

    This is a little embarrassing to admit but, after watching the Giants' "blocking" (to use the term loosely) these last few years, I burst into tears when they announced Will Hernandez as their second-round pick: "Hey! Amigo! We gonna block doze bastardos dis year, eh? Oba oba!"
  6. Your Team: What are you most looking forward to?

    @FourThreeMafia "I've been waiting for you to ask, Big Boy!"
  7. @goldfishwars brings down from the mountain The Sacred Draft Rankings carved on a stone tablet: So let it be written.......... so let it be done!
  8. Where does Calvin Johnson rank all-time?

    We-e-e-ellllll, that's our boy, Brutal. His backstory changes with his whims. Norm knows him better than I do. Not sure how old he is, and whom he has actually seen. He has, by his own admission, a huge library of old football books and photographs; so addled is he at times that he may think he got an autograph from Red Grange in 1925. The opinions on Don Hutson are Brutal's, not mine. Brutal did mention that Don Hutson was known in his playing days as "The Rampaging Raccoon":
  9. Where does Calvin Johnson rank all-time?

    Top 3, I'd say; and, had he stayed around a few more years, he might have eventually ranked up there with Stefon Diggs-!!
  10. Where does Calvin Johnson rank all-time?

    Brutal, who apparently still reads this site from The Home, furiously got ahold of me and ranted for several minutes how "Dangerous Don" Hutson (oh, those nicknames!) could by golly run rings around these young flippertygibbets nowadays and in fact ran an 11.79 hundred yard dash in college. Additionally, he would ike @NormSizedMidget to pay him a visit.
  11. I am- once again-astounded at the depth of knowledge, and the obvious amount of work reflected, in this thread. These huge comprehensive threads of yours remind me of those epic Biblical movies- The Ten Commandments, Ben-Hur, The Greatest Story Ever Told. One can only marvel at them and ask, How'd he DO that???
  12. Ah-hummm, well, yes, there is something a little ironic in all that Bro'-Love By-Play between Derrius and his interviewer here, given the fanciful charges (which went unsubstantiated) levied by the poor misunderstood innocent to the effect that his romantic preferences were questioned in a pre-draft meeting with an NFL team. Methinks he Doth Protest Too Much, as the Bard said. "He-e-e-ey, wassup, Dudes an' Dudettes? Fawnin' Roy, Your Favorite Fanboy, wit Mah MAAAN Derrius Guice (Lookin' so GOOD an' Feelin' so NICE!) runnin' back from Ell Ess YOOO bout tah set the NFL on FAHHHR nex season comin' up but first lemme ax you bout dat SUUUUUIT, mah MAN, what dat be, pink? Salmon? Man, I's goin' be stuntin' on you, but Hoo-WEEEEEEEE, dat outfit---!" Derrius: "Yak, yak, yak! Hey, Man- it be ME wantin' get down to YOUR level, you be STYLIN', Bro'! What dat-sharkskin? Smooooth. Ooooo- check dem pecs! Hey: show me dat little gay thing there, you feel me?" Fanboy: "Dis? dat little gay-wrist thing? Like dis?" (gestures) Derrius: "Dat it! Lil gay-wris' dare!" (reciprocates; moment of inside-joke Male Bonding) "- Eeeeee- YAHHHHHHHHH!" Fanboy, humorously: "Yak, yak, yak! Hey- we ain't posta do dat shee-yatt, you feel me? It ain't, you know, Pee Cee!" Derrius: "You serious? -Dis be DERRIUS! It okay, it cool- NFL, dey da ones opened dat Head of Worms, I mean, CAN of worms, all dem questions. But you right, you right. Less talk FOOT-ball! Dude comes on here- 'Ace in the Hole'? 'Mouse in the House'? Whatever. Says Derrius goin' gain TWO T'OUSAND yards, rookie season! I sez: MAH MAAN! Two T'ousand and One: A Guice Odyssey! Sorta like da movie?" (sings) -"Doooo, dooo- doot doot doo DOOOOOOO doo, doot doot dooo doooooo!- Whut? Star Wars? Oh, yeah, right right- I always get them two mix up! Whatever, Man- yaahhhh!"
  13. Sam Darnold vs Baker Mayfield

    In other words, "He's got that It factor!"
  14. 2018 NFL Top 100 Players

    Well I for one will be OUTRAGED if, at the end of the day, or the end of this list, Ereck Flowers does not sit loftily-perched in the upper stratosphere of right tackles in the NFL. TRUE, he has yet to actually play right tackle, but I'm confident that the body of work that Ereck Flowers put together in his storied 3 seasons at LEFT tackle for the Giants will be carried over to his new assignment! (If, uhhhh, you know, he ever, uhhhh, shows up and stuff......................................................................) I fully expect Ereck Flowers to demonstrate the form and footwork that inspired fans to call him "The Young Walter Jones" his first 3 seasons.......sometimes, they called him other things, shorter things, but there's always one or two.................. Ereck Flowers- best Right Tackle in the NFL??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-! "Ponk-azz beeyatch, Ah shut dat MOUFF for you!"
  15. Saquon Barkley vs. Ezekiel Elliott

    Well said! Ahhh, how that brings back the big bright days when Trent, after the Browns' suspicions were aroused by his deceptive rookie season (Oh, dem 11 touchdowns!), was shockingly shipped off (the previous year's No. 3-overall!) to the aggressive Indianapolis Colts, already basking in the glow of the previous year's No. 1, Andrew Luck, for their 2014 first-round pick, a coup engineered by that Master Trader And Drafter, Ryan Grigson. And what a ride it was! For two seasons how we looked, and lost, and laughed, and loved, as Trent staggered his way into NFL Infamy! What times we had, myself and the Colts' Faithfuls, happy good-natured arguments pro-and-con The Travails of Trent- would he ever justify those Olympian Heights of the #3 Overall, and the traded future first??? Oh, but could those times live again!! Trent, Trent- lonely is my heart, without you!!
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