Hey guys. So I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now, we have our ups and downs like any relationship, but something that's been bothering me lately is how her mother treats me. I don't come from the wealthiest of families, but pretty much middle class. Her family, however, is decently wealthy, and her mom especially really pushes that image. It's becoming obvious to me that she looks down on me for not fitting into that.
For example, Im graduating from college in a week and a half, and getting my own place without roommates. I don't have any surplus of cash, since I start work in a few weeks, and I've been a broke college kid. I've gotta really stretch my money furnish my new place. We were just having breakfast, so I mentioned that I've been stockpiling some stuff from Craigslist. I said that I need to look for a nice rug on Craigslist too. She rolled her eyes, and said "you don't want a used rug." I can understand where some people would have a hesitancy towards buying something like that used, but I just said "well what's the difference between a used rug and the carpet in a used car?" And all she could offer is "well we don't buy used cars." Meanwhile I'm driving a 20 year old chevy blazer I picked up for a thousand bucks....
In another instance, I showed her some art work my mother had done that I was really quite fond of(she's an artist/high school art teacher, and sells a lot of her work in really nice galleries and the like). My gf's mom saw it and just shook her head, and made a disgusted face, and said "i don't like it."
All of these little quips are really starting to get under my skin. My girlfriend herself would never be like that towards me, and I know I can't penalize her for the things her mom says, but I'm still very proud of everything my family and I have worked for. I also know that family always comes first, especially for my girlfriend, so I feel like standing up for myself would do little good. So I'm just left feeling below them. I know if her mom had it her way, she'd be dating some wealthy frat boy or something. It's just a self esteem killer, and I don't know how to reconcile these feelings. I can tell I'm starting to just grow bitter, and that definitely isn't doing any good.
I guess part of it too is that my parents were pretty damn good parents. Me and all my siblings are doing quite well, are mature, independent and responsible young adults. We've all graduated from college, and I'd say are on pretty good life trajectories. Meanwhile my girlfriend is honestly quite spoiled, has never had a job, and struggles mightily with self esteem issues, which I think is due to her moms constant negativity and criticism.
So what do you guys think? Are there any steps I can make to make this relationship dynamic any healthier? Or am I best off just limiting our interactions? Or am I just totally off base and looking for reasons to feel slighted?
Thanks for your time and I apologize for the length...