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Nacho Simulation Football League (Season 16 - Taco Bowl XVI POSTED!)


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1 hour ago, RuskieTitan said:

Intention was to post power rankings this weekend. Intentions got derailed.

I'll have my division power rankings and league power rankings up tonight, but the summaries are unfortunately going to be much shorter compared to before. Won't be much time for discussion, which is the main point, but at least it'll give yall something to point and laugh at when I'm off base. For the record I haven't checked out preseason games outside of my team.

Looking forward to your rankings 

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Cheesy Conference

Red Division

1. South Africa Woolly Mammoths (Owner: MookieMonster)
South%2BAfrica%2BWoolly%2BMammoths.gif
What I like: The receiving trio of Keenan Allen, Jordy Nelson, and Calvin Ridley bring a nice balance of veteran leadership and ability, as well as young talent and potential. Hunter Henry is also receiving option at tight end, even if he will miss the 2018 NFL season.
What I hate: Playing a 259 lb edge player in Derek Barnett at defensive tackle is a risky move, and leaves the Woolly Mammoths suspect to runs up the middle. Would make more sense to slide Calais Campbell to the interior.
Keep an eye on: Kirk Cousins. How well he does will determine how far the offense goes, and the team in general. If he plays at a top-notch level, he’ll be able to mask some of the other deficiencies on offense.

2. Seattle Sonics (Owner: Whicker)
Seattle+Sonics.gif
What I like: So long as Philip Rivers heads the offense, the Sonics have a chance to win the game. He’ll be able to compensate for the rest of the offense, and has some good pass rushers in Brandon Graham and Danielle Hunter to apply pressure on opposing offenses once they have the lead.
What I hate: The receiving core is amongst the weakest in the league, and the running game is a bit suspect as well, lead by DeMarco Murray.
Keep an eye on: Tyler Eifert. He’s going to have to have a big season on offense to help out Philip Rivers in the passing game, and he doesn’t have much competition for targets.

3. Rio de Janeiro Pirates (Owner: RuskieTitan)
East+Carolina+Pirates.gif
What I like: The cornerback tandem and defensive tandem is amongst the better units in the league, and the Pirates retained 3/4ths of the defensive line that lead the league in run defense.
What I hate: The Pirates may struggle to find a running game if Lynch isn’t on point, as Darren Sproles shouldn’t be counted on to do more than a handful of touches each game.
Keep an eye on: Derrick Morgan. While preseason is hardly something to count on, 4 sacks in 2 games isn’t anything to scoff at, and playing on a stacked line can make a decent player look great.

4. Baltimore Ravens (Owner: ravens5520)
Baltimore+Ravens.gif
What I like: The defensive front trio will make it hell for offenses to gain any ground up the middle, with Cameron Jordan anchoring the line.
What I hate: Marcus Mariota has a bright future, and can develop into a franchise quarterback. But taking him in the first round over some better ready-now options could hurt their chances this season.
Keep an eye on: Jamaal Charles. How much he has left in the tank, and whether he can handle a leading role remains to be seen.

5. Reykjavík Direwolves (Owner: Tk3)
Reykjav%C3%ADk+Direwolves.gif
What I like: One of the best secondary units in the league, loaded with guys who can make impact plays. The Haha Clinton-Dix and Earl Thomas combination should be able to feast on making turnovers, even if the front 4 aren’t as strong as they once were.
What I hate: Adding Saquon Barkley is nice, but at the cost of AJ Green and Joey Bosa? That’s a steep price for immediate impact. Direwolves once had one of the most potent offensive units, but those days are over… for now.
Keep an eye on: Saquon Barkley. Direwolves owner loved him as a prospect and you can expect that a mandate will be given to the coaching staff to keep feeding him the football.

 


Blue Division

1. Chicago Bullets (Owner: iPwn)
Chicago%2BBullets.gif
What I like: The receiving core might get the hype, but the safety tandem of Harrison Smith and Tyrann Mathieu has a chance to do something special.
What I hate: The offensive line has no real standouts, and the Bullets seem to have bought high on some of their individual performances last season.
Keep an eye on: Morris Claiborne. He’s going to have to bring his A-game to avoid getting picked on by opposing quarterbacks.

2. Tacoma Thunder (Owner: khodder)
Tacoma+Thunder.gif
What I like: The teams sans offensive line and safety. The Thunder are once again one of the most formidable teams in the league, and Aaron Rodgers can take them to the promised land.
What I hate: Rodgers can certainly make magic, but he’ll have to utilize some of the scrambling ability behind a suspect offensive line.
Keep an eye on: Preston Smith. He had a strong under-the-radar performance last season and will be shifting back to a 3-4 edge role this season.

3. Little Rock Uni Royals (Owner: Gmen4ev)
Melbourne%2BUni%2BRoyals.gif
What I like: The Uni Royals certainly don’t have to worry about their rushing attack behind Melvin Gordon and Kareem Hunt. A strong offensive line will generate even more production out of those two.
What I hate: Elvis Dumervil made the most of his limited time starting last season, but how well will he fair now that he’s out of position on the inside?
Keep an eye on: Ryan Kerrigan. Playing as the #2 edge rusher behind Olivier Vernon and a beefy interior will allow Kerrigan to have a great opportunity to rack up sack numbers.

4. Bikini Atoll Dungeness Krabs (Owner: TedLavie)
Bikini%2BAtoll%2BDungeness%2BKrabs.gif
What I like: The offensive line has some good star power in Jason Peters and Travis Frederick, and Quenton Nelson could be joining that pair in the near future.
What I hate: Tyrell Williams as a number one receiver does no quarterback any favors, and while Cam Newton can make plays with his legs, he’ll need help in the passing game.
Keep an eye on: Delanie Walker. He’s capable of stepping up in the absence of a true number one and should be able to bail out Cam Newton on third downs.

5. Kansas City Knights (Owner: PSID412)
Kansas+City+Knights.gif
What I like: Casey Hayward gives them a legit #1 shutdown cornerback who can go toe-to-toe with any receiver in the league.
What I hate: Using 4 keeper tags to keep Tyrod Taylor was not the best use of tag resources leading up to the draft, and could have been better used to keep some of the other talent around.
Keep an eye on: Sammy Watkins. He’s going to have to step up big-time as a playmaker on offense to help carry the Knights’ offense.


 


Salsa Conference

Green Division

1. Scranton Papermakers (Owner: Remixxxxxxx)
Scranton+Papermakers.gif
What I like: The linebackers are loaded with playmakers, from Justin Houston on the edge to Vontaze Burfict and NaVorro Bowman at linebacker. These boys will be making a lot of plays this season while playing with the lead.
What I hate: The safety tandem of George Iloka and Marcus Williams may be the weakness on the defense that is otherwise very stout.
Keep an eye on: Odell Beckham Jr. He’s got enough playmakers around him on offense that should give him more one-on-one opportunities and could feast with bombs from Big Ben.


2. Iowa Jagwads (Owner: Adrenaline_Flux)
Iowa%2BJagwads.gif
What I like: The defensive line is just ridiculous, from JJ Watt on the edge to Kawann Short on the inside. Once the Jagwads take the lead, these guys will be able to pin their ears back and really get after opposing quarterbacks.
What I hate: Desmond King and Reggie Nelson at safety is a weakness on a secondary that already lacks standouts at cornerback. Luckily the front seven is stacked. Oh, and their avatar/nickname too.
Keep an eye on: Drew Brees. He’s got Antonio Brown to throw to as the number one, but otherwise it’ll be up to him to help get the Jagwads the leads that will allow the defense to thrive.


3. Miami Sharks (Owner: YoungBucs15)
Miami%2BSharks.gif
What I like: Russell Wilson and LeSean McCoy team up for one of the best QB-HB tandems in the league, and give the Sharks a balanced attack on offense.
What I hate: Starting JuJu Smith-Schuster over DeSean Jackson might make sense in the future, but right now DJax brings a lot more to the table as a #2 than JJSS.
Keep an eye on: Minkah Fitzpatrick. It’s hard to count on rookies to make a huge impact, but he’s got a good tandem of corners in front of him and with a pass rush to boot, he could have an opportunity to make some plays.

4. Richmond Flying Squirrels (Owner: swoosh)
Richmond%2BFlying%2BSquirrels.gif
What I like: Joey Bosa and Frank Clark coming off the edges is a formidable tandem both now and into the future, thanks in part to a savvy trade that brought them Bosa and AJ Green.
What I hate: Seeing Eli Manning as the starting quarterback on a roster that otherwise looks destined for the playoffs.
Keep an eye on: Eli Manning. How well he plays will determine how far the Flying Squirrels will be able to soar.

5. Phoenix Rattlers (Owner: bucsfan333)
Phoenix%2BRattlers.gif
What I like: David Johnson is a caliber of back that gives them a threat both in the rushing game as well as the passing game, and has great future potential.
What I hate: Relying on Case Keenum, or potentially Jameis Winston, to lead the Rattlers to a championship may be a tall task.
Keep an eye on: Julius Peppers. He may be getting up there in age, but the old man can still wreck havoc off the edge. He’ll need to improve his turnover generation this season.


 


Yellow Division

1. Indianapolis Predators (Owner: RandyMossIsBoss)
Indianapolis%2BPredators.gif
What I like: Khalil Mack and Myles Garrett bring a lot of nightmares to opposing offensive coordinators. One could say these two guys are real Predators on the field.
What I hate: Adrian Peterson isn’t scaring anyone nowadays, and the receiving options like Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker are in the same boat. 3 years ago this is a terrifying unit…
Keep an eye on: Lavonte David. He’s got an opportunity to accumulate some good stats as the standout of the linebacking unit.


2. Egypt Starfalls (Owner: El ramster)
Dawn%2BStarfall.gif
What I like: Todd Gurley or Zeke Elliot, either one would have thrived behind a pretty stout offensive line. That offensive line will also be big in protecting Carson Wentz.
What I hate: Moving from Big Ben to Carson Wentz hurts the Starfalls chances this season, and a lot remains to be seen with Wentz returning from injury.
Keep an eye on: Aaron Donald is someone worth watching, whether playing in a 3-4 or a 4-3 front. But with the 4-3, he should have more opportunities to make impact plays.

3. Southview Saints (Owner: waffles7)
Southview%2BSaints.gif
What I like: Le’Veon Bell on offense, and Von Miller off the edge with Jadeveon Clowney on defense. Throw in 2 Jalen Ramseys on the roster, and this team has a lot of potential.
What I hate: One Jalen Ramsey plays quarterback. And that’s not a good thing.
Keep an eye on: Ryan Shazier. This could be the final season we see him suit up in the NSFL, so it’ll be worth seeing how he plays.

4. Motor City Machine Gunners (Owner: ny92jefferis, GM: EaglesPeteC)
Motor%2BCity%2BMachine%2BGunners.gif
What I like: Tom Brady, Tom Brady, Tom Brady. So long as that man still plays, this team will compete. Kevin Byard on defense brings a lot of playmaking, and has huge keeper potential as well.
What I hate: The cornerback tandem of Xavien Howard and Nickell Robey-Coleman could cause the Machine Gunners playoff hopes to go up in smoke.
Keep an eye on: Kevin Byard. He’s got playmaking potential and he should have a lot of opportunities in this secondary to try and make a play.

5. Rhein Fire (Owner: SirA1)
Rhein+Fire.gif
What I like: Geno Atkins manning the interior of the defensive line will provide the Fire with some much needed pass rush up the middle.
What I hate: Relying on Joe Flacco to guide this team and no future quarterback prospect on the roster.
Keep an eye on: Derrick Henry. Will he be able to take on the lead role and provide a successful rushing attack, or is this a case of starting a player a year early?

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NSFL League Power Rankings

1. Chicago Bullets (Owner: iPwn)Chicago%2BBullets.gif
2. Scranton Papermakers (Owner: Remixxxxxxx)Scranton+Papermakers.gif
3. Tacoma Thunder (Owner: khodder)Tacoma+Thunder.gif

4. Little Rock Uni Royals (Owner: Gmen4ev)Melbourne%2BUni%2BRoyals.gif

5. South Africa Woolly Mammoths (Owner: MookieMonster)South%2BAfrica%2BWoolly%2BMammoths.gif
6. Indianapolis Predators (Owner: RandyMossIsBoss)Indianapolis%2BPredators.gif
7. Egypt Starfalls (Owner: El ramster)Dawn%2BStarfall.gif
8. Southview Saints (Owner: waffles7)Southview%2BSaints.gif

9. Iowa Jagwads (Owner: Adrenaline_Flux)Iowa%2BJagwads.gif
10. Miami Sharks (Owner: YoungBucs15)Miami%2BSharks.gif
11. Seattle Sonics (Owner: Whicker)Seattle+Sonics.gif

12. Rio de Janeiro Pirates (Owner: RuskieTitan)East+Carolina+Pirates.gif
13. Richmond Flying Squirrels (Owner: swoosh)Richmond%2BFlying%2BSquirrels.gif
14. Phoenix Rattlers (Owner: bucsfan333)Phoenix%2BRattlers.gif
15. Baltimore Ravens (Owner: ravens5520)Baltimore+Ravens.gif
16. Reykjavík Direwolves (Owner: Tk3)Reykjav%C3%ADk+Direwolves.gif

17. Motor City Machine Gunners (Owner: ny92jefferis, GM: EaglesPeteC)Motor%2BCity%2BMachine%2BGunners.gif

18. Bikini Atoll Dungeness Krabs (Owner: TedLavie)Bikini%2BAtoll%2BDungeness%2BKrabs.gif

19. Kansas City Knights (Owner: PSID412)Kansas+City+Knights.gif

20. Rhein Fire (Owner: SirA1) Rhein+Fire.gif

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Well written Ruskie! I don’t disagree one bit, but we all know my qb has been my Achilles for 4 seasons at least. Mariota has experience & hopefully bounces back this year, but Trubisky could become the future too.

 

Might be on the market by week 3-5 for a vet qb via trade. Short leash likely with Mariota 

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As if Preseason overreactions weren't enough, let's see the Week 1 overreactions, people!

Iowa Jagwads @ Chicago Bullets: https://youtu.be/iQN0c75X5TQ
Miami Sharks @ Phoenix Rattlers: https://youtu.be/_bk_HANEIFo
Seattle Sonics @ Little Rock Uni Royals: https://youtu.be/4E2DyihOD18
Rio de Janeiro Pirates @ Southview Saints: https://youtu.be/l0TzifEjH_s
Rhein Fire @ Indianapolis Predators: https://youtu.be/xhSOYNnyg7k
Tacoma Thunder @ South Africa Woolly Mammoths: https://youtu.be/e8BF5UoLk1k
Egypt Starfalls @ Motor City Machine Gunners: https://youtu.be/1Cl-LDWzUqo
Bikini Atoll Dungeness Krabs @ Kansas City Knights: https://youtu.be/GX8V3y4CB94
Richmond Flying Squirrels @ Scranton Papermakers: https://youtu.be/iD_Ju9TNJow
Reykjavík Direwolves @ Baltimore Ravens: https://youtu.be/4MBQhcv0CFw

GameDocs: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1gGpAIWWKtcD8wkD_nSKXAmBzhe4V10ub?usp=sharing
Season statistics: http://thekillernacho.blogspot.com/2018/06/nsfl-season-16-detailed-statistics.html

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7 hours ago, Gmen4ev said:

I like that Doom is my worst player. I'll take it fosho

Defensive MVP: Elvis Dumervil (ILB)

Elvis Dumervil [1 GS]: 7 tackles (2 stuffs), 1 coverage, 1 sack, 1 forced fumble.

CHAMPIONSHIP HERE WE COME

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