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I'm Having a Baby!! Advice?


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1 hour ago, ramssuperbowl99 said:

In the non-family, also not a parent group who hears last, I generally hear at about 3-4 months. I had a co-worker who waited until 7 months (seriously) to tell people. No timeline bothers me. It is 0% my business, so confidently say "**** off" to anybody who wants to know on their schedule.

Since she is a teacher everyone there will find out soon enough if they don’t already know(she told a few admins already) Just seems like waiting until school starts makes sense. That puts us between 3&4 months

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On 8/7/2018 at 1:20 AM, JaguarCrazy2832 said:

When do you start telling other people? Like most family and some friends know but my wife is very worried about the 1st trimester since her Mom had a miscarriage before having her so she doesnt want everyone to know. We have been somewhat methodical in telling people because we dont want it to snowball and have EVERYONE know before it is too soon. Obviously i told you guys as mostly a way of keeping me informed and sane but what is the timeframe where it is okay to tell everyone or at least stop denying it

It's when you both feel comfortable. Usually after the first trimester is a good call. If she wants to be truly sure, waiting until after week 20 is an option, but that point she'll likely be showing anyhow.

Also, if she should have a miscarriage, she is not at fault.

Let me say that again: if she has a miscarriage, it is not her fault. She will blame herself for every little thing she did or didn't do. Reassure her that none of that is true. It happens with some regularity (10-20% of women who were aware they were pregnant end up miscarrying (the rate is likely higher but sometimes women miscarry without even knowing they were pregnant)).

 

Reference: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/symptoms-causes/syc-20354298

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Oh you might want to get her this shirt (especially if she is a science teacher):

dont_touch_my_pregnant_belly_tshirt.jpg

 

https://www.cafepress.com/+,2020570243?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=pla-google&utm_campaign=653475096-d-m&utm_content=34077146358-adid-96354662410&utm_term=pla-72407740090-pid-2020570243&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkbjygenh3AIVkGB-Ch1J4QwSEAQYAyABEgL9NvD_BwE

 

 

You laugh now, but you (and especially her) will be surprised at how many people believe a woman being pregnant translates into "you may violate my personal space without asking."

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5 hours ago, Woz said:

It's when you both feel comfortable. Usually after the first trimester is a good call. If she wants to be truly sure, waiting until after week 20 is an option, but that point she'll likely be showing anyhow.

Also, if she should have a miscarriage, she is not at fault.

Let me say that again: if she has a miscarriage, it is not her fault. She will blame herself for every little thing she did or didn't do. Reassure her that none of that is true. It happens with some regularity (10-20% of women who were aware they were pregnant end up miscarrying (the rate is likely higher but sometimes women miscarry without even knowing they were pregnant)).

 

Reference: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/symptoms-causes/syc-20354298

Geez, i had no idea the # was so high. I totally get that she will blame herself for everything, thats why she's not eating this and taking that  even if she doesn't like it because if there is even one slip up and this goes sideways, i know she will blame herself completely. 

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5 hours ago, Woz said:

Oh you might want to get her this shirt (especially if she is a science teacher):

dont_touch_my_pregnant_belly_tshirt.jpg

 

https://www.cafepress.com/+,2020570243?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=pla-google&utm_campaign=653475096-d-m&utm_content=34077146358-adid-96354662410&utm_term=pla-72407740090-pid-2020570243&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkbjygenh3AIVkGB-Ch1J4QwSEAQYAyABEgL9NvD_BwE

 

 

You laugh now, but you (and especially her) will be surprised at how many people believe a woman being pregnant translates into "you may violate my personal space without asking."

Yea she will be walking around like Freddy Krueger ready to lop off anyone's hands who gets close to her stomach. 

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10 hours ago, JaguarCrazy2832 said:

Geez, i had no idea the # was so high. I totally get that she will blame herself for everything, thats why she's not eating this and taking that  even if she doesn't like it because if there is even one slip up and this goes sideways, i know she will blame herself completely. 

I know. The best you can do should it happen is be there for her and show her that article. It likely won't take away all of her guilt, but it might help a bit.

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17 hours ago, Woz said:

I know. The best you can do should it happen is be there for her and show her that article. It likely won't take away all of her guilt, but it might help a bit.

Yeah it’s tough.

My wife and I miscarried on our last pregnancy. Nothing she could have done differently, just try to accept it and move on.

It’s an awful experience though.

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Congratulations! 

Here is my simple tip.

Stay away from soft cheeses and lunch meat.

Some foods may have bacteria that can hurt your baby. Don't eat:

  • Soft cheeses like feta, Brie, and goat cheese
  • Uncooked or undercooked meats or fish (like sushi)
  • Lunch meats and hot dogs unless they are heated until steaming hot
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On 8/5/2018 at 12:07 AM, Forge said:

I like the honesty.

I love my boys, they're my best friends and I'm also their God:D Sometimes I wonder what I'd be if if I didn't have kids. 

On 8/5/2018 at 8:51 AM, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

Damn man, ish got real....

Seriously though, that’s something you’re not alone on, lots of people probably would have been better off not having kids. Personally, I think I’m better for and life’s better because of it, but I could easily see how others wouldn’t.

Good on you for the honesty.

In my life now I'm better for it in ways. They keep me focused on my goals because I have to provide a great life for them. They make me want to do better. I would probably be better rested and have more money though if we didn't have them. I would also have a way cleaner home too. I probably wouldn't play as much video games if they weren't here either. It's got it's ups and downs. 

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On 8/12/2018 at 10:27 PM, joynhappiness said:

Congratulations! 

Here is my simple tip.

Stay away from soft cheeses and lunch meat.

Some foods may have bacteria that can hurt your baby. Don't eat:

  • Soft cheeses like feta, Brie, and goat cheese
  • Uncooked or undercooked meats or fish (like sushi)
  • Lunch meats and hot dogs unless they are heated until steaming hot

Yea i've seen this. The doctor says cheeses like those are fine as long as they say pasteurized on the container. She hates sushi and if she actually gets a sandwich somewhere, she knows it needs to be toasted. Thanks!

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