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Relationship Advice Thread


scar988

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On 6/1/2018 at 10:12 AM, scar988 said:

I want 3 kids, my wife wants 2.

 

We've compromised to 2 kids and 2 pit bulls, (though no kids yet). I get the feeling our wives may have talked. 

I wanted 1 kid and my wife wanted 4 so I ended up with 2 kids and a raging case of depression 

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4 hours ago, steadypimpin said:

I'm pretty sure my wife has power of attorney, she's the only child. It's just her and her mom, her dad passed a little before we got married. I just don't want to come off like I think her mom's gonna die. I don't she will but you never know. I care a lot but at the same time we need to be prepared beforehand. I don't think her mom made a will yet and I'm afraid to ask now. It's a touchy subject. 

Bring it up in the context of being debilitated, not dead. Some of the chemo treatments are pretty nasty and they mess with your ability to make rational decisions

Under those circumstances, you need to know her wishes. Not that she's dead, but that she's impaired. You can also bring it up in terms of making it easier on her daughter to help her out during all of these treatments. She will be tired/ sleeping a lot.  How does she want things handled in that scenario ?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Girlfriend of 10 weeks asked me if I'm okay with her having coffee with her last boyfriend who she dated for 8 months.  She says they're just still good friends.  I said go ahead reluctantly, but she could sense I wasn't happy about it and kept asking me what's wrong.  I'm like - you don't see why I might be upset about this?  What boyfriend on planet earth would be happy to hear that his girlfriend wants to hang out with her ex?  Am I overreacting here? 

Oh, and in the same night she asks if I'd be okay with her doing travel nursing and going away for 3 months.   I feel like if I get too possessive, which I am by nature, she's going to push away because she like her independence. 

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26 minutes ago, Gmen said:

Girlfriend of 10 weeks asked me if I'm okay with her having coffee with her last boyfriend who she dated for 8 months.  She says they're just still good friends.  I said go ahead reluctantly, but she could sense I wasn't happy about it and kept asking me what's wrong.  I'm like - you don't see why I might be upset about this?  What boyfriend on planet earth would be happy to hear that his girlfriend wants to hang out with her ex?  Am I overreacting here? 

Oh, and in the same night she asks if I'd be okay with her doing travel nursing and going away for 3 months.   I feel like if I get too possessive, which I am by nature, she's going to push away because she like her independence. 

hmmm... two very separate issues here.

you handled it well on the coffee get together with the ex. you didn't demand that she could not, but you let her know the discomfort it made you feel. how she treats you the next time in a similar situation will be telling. will she take your emotions in to consideration and modify her behavior, or will she do whatever she likes and ask/expect you to adapt to it? the good thing here though, is that the two of you are being open about it with each other, that's very positive.

on to #2 and being apart for three months.... sounds like it's time to have a heart to heart conversation and ask for a definition of where your relationship presently stands, and what each of you hope for the future.

 

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1 hour ago, MathMan said:

you are now on footballsfuture, so you are WAY off.

im going to go ahead and say library. very underrated place.

 

Just talking about this like an hour ago with some buddies. No lie. Great place to meet women. Way better than Tinder or Bumble or all those popular apps.

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20 hours ago, GHARMON9 said:

How can young male meet women nowadays? 

All answers are appreciated.

Some sort of activities club is generally your best bet depending on the area you live in. I know in the city there are a bunch of options for young adults including sports leagues, running clubs, hiking clubs, kayaking clubs, etc. Find something you enjoy doing and you've already eliminated the difficulty of finding common ground with someone.

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On 6/25/2018 at 12:27 PM, GHARMON9 said:

How can young male meet women nowadays? 

All answers are appreciated.

Major social settings and dating apps. Tinder and Bumble get a bad rep, but I know people have dated and ultimately married from it. Plus it's relatively easy to find some fun off it if that's all you're going for.  Also give bars a shot. If you aren't naturally a guy that would go up to girls confidently, get some liquid courage and just go for it.

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4 hours ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

I mean, they make up half the population, where can’t you meet them? (Other than FF obviously)

Learning this recently.

Every women expects to get hit on at a party, bar, mixed-social event, etc.

Maybe it's different if you live in a rural area, but if you run around town for work or something, flirt with strangers as appropriate throughout the day. That cashier isn't that giggly with every customer, that girl in the grocery store aisle made eye contact and opened her body language for a reason, etc etc etc

"Well how do I start a conversation with a random" you talk to them just like they're a dude, just a little friendlier with the right body language. In 10 "flirty" interactions, maybe 2 progress past a couple sentences, and maybe 1 will lead to exchanging information; make an effort to talk to just one or two strangers a day, and do the math.

 

This isn't meant to replace 'traditional' settings for meeting women but it's an effort-free supplement.

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20 hours ago, MathMan said:

im going to go ahead and say library.

If you're no longer in college (where it's easy enough anyway), who the hell is going to a library? Do ya'll like watching poor people use the computers to play tetris and look up porn, or something?

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3 minutes ago, cddolphin said:

Learning this recently.

Every women expects to get hit on at a party, bar, mixed-social event, etc.

Maybe it's different if you live in a rural area, but if you run around town for work or something, flirt with strangers as appropriate throughout the day. That cashier isn't that giggly with every customer, that girl in the grocery store aisle made eye contact and opened her body language for a reason, etc etc etc

"Well how do I start a conversation with a random" you talk to them just like they're a dude, just a little friendlier with the right body language. In 10 "flirty" interactions, maybe 2 progress past a couple sentences, and maybe 1 will lead to exchanging information; make an effort to talk to just one or two strangers a day, and do the math.

 

This isn't meant to replace 'traditional' settings for meeting women but it's an effort-free supplement.

This guy gets it.

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