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Relationship Advice Thread


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On 9/22/2017 at 2:32 PM, project T.O said:

So sort of slow play it? 

 

Thats typically terrible advice, but I think you guys are right given the circumstances of it being a gym. And I don't want to make her feel like I'm there to just pickup girls and get in the way of things she's trying to do. 

Thanks! 

 

 

There's really not much of a science to it dude. Just tell her you've enjoyed chatting with her and ask her if you can exchange numbers. She's not going to freak out on you or embarrass you in front of everyone at the gym if she's not interested so don't be scared of that. Show some confidence and go for it.

And if she's not interested, who cares? You're going to meet a million different females you're attracted to throughout your life. Don't be brash or a jerk, and don't try any of that pick up crap. Just be confident. 

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2 minutes ago, lavar703 said:

There's really not much of a science to it dude. Just tell her you've enjoyed chatting with her and ask her if you can exchange numbers. She's not going to freak out on you or embarrass you in front of everyone at the gym if she's not interested so don't be scared of that. Show some confidence and go for it.

And if she's not interested, who cares? You're going to meet a million different females you're attracted to throughout your life. Don't be brash or a jerk, and don't try any of that pick up crap. Just be confident. 

Yeah, I don't really understand the whole slow-playing it unless you're in high school.  Talk to her, and if you're getting good vibes ask her if she wants to get coffee or something.  No reason to overthink it.

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2 hours ago, CWood21 said:

Yeah, I don't really understand the whole slow-playing it unless you're in high school.  Talk to her, and if you're getting good vibes ask her if she wants to get coffee or something.  No reason to overthink it.

Because you're at the gym and some folks just go to workout and would rather not be hit on.

A lot of people go to the gym at the same time on the same days, her having to tell every single dude whose pants tighten when she's doing the abductor machine that she's not interested, in a relationship, etc., makes it a terrible experience for her.

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10 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

Because you're at the gym and some folks just go to workout and would rather not be hit on.

A lot of people go to the gym at the same time on the same days, her having to tell every single dude whose pants tighten when she's doing the abductor machine that she's not interested, in a relationship, etc., makes it a terrible experience for her.

I mean, there's a difference between striking up a conversation after you're done working out and just chatting and going up there mid rep and trying to pick her up.

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8 minutes ago, CWood21 said:

I mean, there's a difference between striking up a conversation after you're done working out and just chatting and going up there mid rep and trying to pick her up.

I get that, but he's already struck up a conversation.  If she's remotely interested she'll let him know with a wave, smile, initiating a conversation, etc. 

If that happens, sure, go for it, but she may also have just been trying to be polite the first time and would rather just workout.  Her actions moving forward should indicate if that's the case.

I generally have a "take the bull by the horns" mentality, but there are times to pull back as to not look like "that guy" if you can avoid it.

JMHO.

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On 9/26/2017 at 9:44 PM, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

I get that, but he's already struck up a conversation.  If she's remotely interested she'll let him know with a wave, smile, initiating a conversation, etc. 

If that happens, sure, go for it, but she may also have just been trying to be polite the first time and would rather just workout.  Her actions moving forward should indicate if that's the case.

I generally have a "take the bull by the horns" mentality, but there are times to pull back as to not look like "that guy" if you can avoid it.

JMHO.

Cosign. If you've ever stumbled across one of those "this is the ish guys do that annoy us" type articles, hitting on women when they're trying to workout, etc. is pretty high up on the list. People go to the gym to work out. That doesn't mean it's impossible to pick someone up or that you should avoid talking to people at all, but like Brownies is saying, you probably shouldn't really actively pursue somebody. If there's already some semblance of a relationship established, she'll let you know if she's interested. If you're not getting the vibes, let her work out in peace.

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Got a question about 2 girls in my friend group. I'm not the best at reading women, and recently I dealt with a woman who was so back and forth it made my head spin. So now I'm cautious when it comes to women. Me and the 2 girls are all in our late 20's.

Girl 1- I told her i'm going to my hometown this weekend for vacation, the 2nd time this year i've gone back. She says "you go there so often, how come, got a girlfriend? I'm so jealous, haha, so funny". She also is asking me to bring her something for her upcoming birthday. She got me a small food item a few months ago as a small gift (no occasion). Ive also felt shes been somewhat flirty with me on and off for a while. One time me and her were talking about my drinking habits, and another girl comes up to her and asks "how do you know, did you go for a drink with him?"  So i feel at least someone else can notice it. However,  i did ask her to my office holiday party last year, and she declined saying she didn't know anyone, then asked me if i would want to invite her friend instead. Few weeks later, she tells me her friend has a bf and has never brought her up since. All of the above has happened well after this

Girl 2- We got to talking one Monday. She asks me what i did that weekend, i say go downtown. She asks "oh nice, did you go with your gf"? I say no (i'm single at the moment). Then she asks me if i went to the strip club, which i say no. She starts talking about wanting to go to a male strip club. Then later on in the conversation, she asks me if it must be difficult for me to bring girls over, as i still live at home. I didn't bring up anything with her at all, these are all questions/comments she made out of the blue. I would have asked her out or started flirting with her, but....before she asks me all these questions, she tells me she has a bf. Still, feels odd that she would bring up all these topics?

What do you guys think? Is there anything there? I wouldn't ask out a girl with a bf, but i'm just curious of anyone's interpretation. And i'm thinking of asking girl #1 out to celebrate her birthday later this month.

Edited by 49ersfan
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1 minute ago, 49ersfan said:

What do you guys think? Is there anything there? I wouldn't ask out a girl with a bf, but i'm just curious of anyone's interpretation.

I don't really see anything there with Girl 2, especially if she brought up the fact that she had a BF without being prompted.  Girl 1 seems interested, I don't know what you have to lose by asking her out.  She might have just been uncomfortable in social settings with people she doesn't know, and doesn't want to seem to clingy.

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On 9/28/2017 at 12:33 AM, fretgod99 said:

Cosign. If you've ever stumbled across one of those "this is the ish guys do that annoy us" type articles, hitting on women when they're trying to workout, etc. is pretty high up on the list. People go to the gym to work out. That doesn't mean it's impossible to pick someone up or that you should avoid talking to people at all, but like Brownies is saying, you probably shouldn't really actively pursue somebody. If there's already some semblance of a relationship established, she'll let you know if she's interested. If you're not getting the vibes, let her work out in peace.

I get it "while" they are working out, but if he had a good time chatting, trying to catch up with her after her workout and before she leaves is fine IMO.

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