Scoundrel Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 57 minutes ago, project T.O said: So kind of deciding if I should take another shot with a girl who sort of ghosted me... she’s a friend of friend and first time I met her was with group of friends. Had a good time so messaged her day or two later and seemed to have a lot in common. Asked her to the movies ( since we both into movies and is simple). She seemed into it. Then when I tried to set up exact time I didn’t hear from her for few days. When she finally got back to me she explained it wouldn’t work because she had birthday dinner set up with her parents and kids. Tried to figure out another day, but she then just straight up ignored me. Found out later from my friend she had just lost her job and had a bunch of other crap going on and wasn’t really talking to her either. Anyways fast forward few months and I’ve started seeing her out again ( while with friends). And we get along great and have a ton in common. This weekend I saw her and we’re kind of teasing each other back and fourth., She’s eating fries off my plate, we’re having inside jokes between the two of etc. right now feels like either sees me as a friend or we’re at a crossroads where she maybe Interested, but I may blow it by not taking another shot. There is deff some tension between the two of us, but not sure if it’s sexual or just awkward tension and I’m too much of a coward to find out. Any advice would be appreciated. Cliche but...You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take. If it doesn’t work oh well. At least you know you tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamKid Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 1 hour ago, project T.O said: There is deff some tension between the two of us, but not sure if it’s sexual or just awkward tension and I’m too much of a coward to find out. Any advice would be appreciated. I don't understand. What is it you're afraid of? It sounds like a gain everything-lose nothing scenario. Take the shot and see what it is. If she's into you, you get the girl. If she isn't, then you get peace of mind and get to move on. There's no downside. You lose nothing, except a platonic broad friend that doesn't share the feelings you do- which should be seen as a blessing. Though, if I'm being honest. Anytime I hear about dudes trying to claw out of the friend/grey zone, and contact/date dodging is mentioned- 9 times out of 10 it means what you think it means. She isn't really interested. And I always cringe at the mental gymnastics those guys go through trying shape each episode of avoidance into a misunderstanding, insignificant coincidence, or whatever else is needed to sweep away what the evidence clearly points to. Woman like attention, they like being desired. She might be comfortable flirting with you, enjoy it even. That might be all she's comfortable with though. Say you do shoot your shot, and she isn't interested. If you remain friends and keep hanging out. There's a big chance the flirting and playful behavior will start up once again, because it makes her feel good. That isn't a signal to re pursue a deeper relationship, it would just be confirmation that she's cool with vibing off you. So if you think that's all it is now, might be best to steer clear and avoid giving her anymore free gas. 2 hours ago, project T.O said: When she finally got back to me she explained it wouldn’t work because she had birthday dinner set up with her parents and kids. 2 hours ago, project T.O said: Found out later from my friend she had just lost her job and had a bunch of other crap going on and wasn’t really talking to her either. Is she a jobless single parent/mother? Rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoundrel Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 1 hour ago, DreamKid said: I don't understand. What is it you're afraid of? It sounds like a gain everything-lose nothing scenario. Take the shot and see what it is. If she's into you, you get the girl. If she isn't, then you get peace of mind and get to move on. There's no downside. You lose nothing, except a platonic broad friend that doesn't share the feelings you do- which should be seen as a blessing. Though, if I'm being honest. Anytime I hear about dudes trying to claw out of the friend/grey zone, and contact/date dodging is mentioned- 9 times out of 10 it means what you think it means. She isn't really interested. And I always cringe at the mental gymnastics those guys go through trying shape each episode of avoidance into a misunderstanding, insignificant coincidence, or whatever else is needed to sweep away what the evidence clearly points to. Woman like attention, they like being desired. She might be comfortable flirting with you, enjoy it even. That might be all she's comfortable with though. Say you do shoot your shot, and she isn't interested. If you remain friends and keep hanging out. There's a big chance the flirting and playful behavior will start up once again, because it makes her feel good. That isn't a signal to re pursue a deeper relationship, it would just be confirmation that she's cool with vibing off you. So if you think that's all it is now, might be best to steer clear and avoid giving her anymore free gas. Is she a jobless single parent/mother? Rough. This guy gets it. The bolded is my favorite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET80 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 4 hours ago, project T.O said: So kind of deciding if I should take another shot with a girl who sort of ghosted me... Usually, I'd say no... But... 4 hours ago, project T.O said: Found out later from my friend she had just lost her job and had a bunch of other crap going on and wasn’t really talking to her either. ... Yeah, a single mom without a job is a tough position to be in. I don't know what the other crap is, but I'd surmise it wasn't good. She needed space from everyone, not just you. I'd say... keep it casual, no big plans or anything. Meet up for coffee and chit chat, she'll probably open up on what went down (and may even ask for forgiveness, but don't expect that - if she does, cool - play it off if anything, turn it into an inside joke. If she doesn't, no biggie). Take it one encounter at a time, see where it goes from there. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
project T.O Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Thanks everyone. And to be clear she got another job shortly after. And that happened months ago. I’m thinking best bet would be to just ask her to hang out next time I see her. I mean cant go any worse than last girl I was really into and asked out. Who said it was too soon as she was like a week out of a 2 year relationship and I share the same name as her ex. Then about a month later I hear she’s seeing another guy living with said guy and about 3 months after that they are engaged.... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 3 hours ago, project T.O said: Thanks everyone. And to be clear she got another job shortly after. And that happened months ago. I’m thinking best bet would be to just ask her to hang out next time I see her. best thing is if you can find a girlfriend that is slightly less attractive than her but with similar features, and then do things as a group with her included. She may try to win you away. The other girlfriend could even be a ringer of sorts so no hurt feelings are involved, and you dont have to worry about rejection because you "already have a girlfriend" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
project T.O Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 52 minutes ago, Malfatron said: best thing is if you can find a girlfriend that is slightly less attractive than her but with similar features, and then do things as a group with her included. She may try to win you away. The other girlfriend could even be a ringer of sorts so no hurt feelings are involved, and you dont have to worry about rejection because you "already have a girlfriend" Haha another girl in my group of friends is interested, but she’s not my type. And feels wrong to try and make her think it could be anything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 (edited) Depressing edit Edited June 14, 2019 by Tyty 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelKing728 Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 On 6/12/2019 at 10:33 PM, Tyty said: Depressing edit Cheer up. Your team isn't 0-4 in the Superbowl and one of the worst teams historically in the playoffs. 😔 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 On 6/12/2019 at 10:33 PM, Tyty said: Depressing edit Redemption edit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DingoLadd Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 Why did no one tell me about this thread? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 3 minutes ago, DingoLadd said: Why did no one tell me about this thread? we figured you done crushed em all 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoundrel Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 2 hours ago, DingoLadd said: Why did no one tell me about this thread? Because if your Relationship skills are anything like your BDL team building or Mafia game play there is no hope for you. And anyone taking advice from you in return should cut out their own eyeballs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DingoLadd Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 31 minutes ago, Counselor said: Because if your Relationship skills are anything like your BDL team building or Mafia game play there is no hope for you. And anyone taking advice from you in return should cut out their own eyeballs. I see you're still not over me, it takes a while but you'll get through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoundrel Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 5 minutes ago, DingoLadd said: I see you're still not over me, it takes a while but you'll get through it. Best advice you’ve ever given 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.