scar988 Posted July 8, 2021 Author Share Posted July 8, 2021 On 7/3/2021 at 7:46 AM, ET80 said: There's enough of him in the world with just the 1. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
49ersfan Posted August 18, 2021 Share Posted August 18, 2021 (edited) I have a coworker who i've been getting along with great lately. No 1 specific thing, just a great vibe when we talk, sometimes for 30 minutes. Then she randomly told me about how she's going through a breakup, her ex doesn't want her to go to a party being thrown by mutual friends, etc. This was brought up once-twice after knowing each other for months. She hasn't brought him up again. I also tried following her on IG a couple of months ago and she never accepted. But, maybe that was because she had a bf/was breaking up at the time. I did ask her out to a group coworker lunch. She declined, but the next time we met said she had been talking about going for after-work drinks with a few other coworkers in a week or 2 from now and i should join. If i knew her through one of my friend groups i would have asked her out by now. But the fact that we're coworkers makes it such a tough decision I guess i'll just go to the after work drinks and see how things go from there? Edited August 18, 2021 by 49ersfan 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLO Posted August 18, 2021 Share Posted August 18, 2021 3 hours ago, 49ersfan said: I have a coworker No. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beekay414 Posted August 18, 2021 Share Posted August 18, 2021 17 minutes ago, TLO said: No. This @49ersfan Don't **** where you eat 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mission27 Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 20 hours ago, TLO said: 23 hours ago, 49ersfan said: I have a coworker No. To play devils advocate here, we haven't seen pics 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET80 Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 On 8/17/2021 at 8:51 PM, 49ersfan said: I guess i'll just go to the after work drinks and see how things go from there? Gonna have to agree with the MoL on this one. Hard no. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pwny Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 There’s a handful of rare situations where a coworker relationship can work out. If she won’t let you add her on Instagram, and is declining group activities with you, its a no. She’s showing you there’s a line between where you are and the true personal life she lives. Respect that. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OkeyDoke21 Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 I'd have to agree with what's been said here. That sounds like someone who is trying to be friendly, but is trying not to send you mixed signals. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 coworkers rarely work out. i tried pursuing this girl at another branch i work from and i realized it would not work out. what would happen if you broke up or argue outside of work? it would be an awkward situation. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
49ersfan Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 5 hours ago, pwny said: There’s a handful of rare situations where a coworker relationship can work out. If she won’t let you add her on Instagram, and is declining group activities with you, its a no. She’s showing you there’s a line between where you are and the true personal life she lives. Respect that. Immediately after declining lunch, she invited me to after work drinks scheduled for next week. Reason i posted is because we've been getting along great lately and then out of nowhere she brings up her ex-bf. Then he was never brought up again. So i interpreted that as her telling me she's single, because why else would she bring him up and then drop it. So it just got me thinking...but yes, being coworkers is a pretty big dealbreaker... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pwny Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 1 minute ago, 49ersfan said: Immediately after declining lunch, she invited me to after work drinks scheduled for next week. Reason i posted is because we've been getting along great lately and then out of nowhere she brings up her ex-bf. Then he was never brought up again. So i interpreted that as her telling me she's single, because why else would she bring him up and then drop it. So it just got me thinking...but yes, being coworkers is a pretty big dealbreaker... She invited you to the second group because it’s the friendly thing to do and she knows others are there. If she was interested in you, she would have made the time to go to lunch and the after work drinks. People make time for the things they care about. Her declining the lunch would indicate that she has something else she cares about more than spending more time with you in a group setting. And that’s fine and you can be good work buddies still, but the lack of desire to pursue any opportunity to spend more time with you would suggest that she’s not into you. Coupled with the Instagram thing, it’s clear she doesn’t see you as a priority in that way. If she did, she’d have looked at your Instagram already since the break up and been reminded by the UI about the pending friend request and would have accepted it. Her not doing that tells you what you need to know. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
49ersfan Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, pwny said: She invited you to the second group because it’s the friendly thing to do and she knows others are there. If she was interested in you, she would have made the time to go to lunch and the after work drinks. People make time for the things they care about. Her declining the lunch would indicate that she has something else she cares about more than spending more time with you in a group setting. And that’s fine and you can be good work buddies still, but the lack of desire to pursue any opportunity to spend more time with you would suggest that she’s not into you. Coupled with the Instagram thing, it’s clear she doesn’t see you as a priority in that way. If she did, she’d have looked at your Instagram already since the break up and been reminded by the UI about the pending friend request and would have accepted it. Her not doing that tells you what you need to know. About 10 people were invited to lunch. Half of them declined the invitation but she was the only one who offered to reschedule. I know she works through her lunches usually as I've seen her doing that, and i do it on occasion as well. For after work drinks, there's only 3 of us confirmed to go, so only one other person is joining us. She's also told me she's taking night courses as well as helping her best friend look for a house so that feels like more of a commitment/smaller group setting than a 30-45 minute lunch with 5-10 people As for Instagram, i rescinded my follow request after a couple of days lol. But yeah, she didnt send me a request back after all this time so i get what you're saying there. With hindsight i figured she didnt accept because she's seeing someone/going through a breakup at the time. But she also could have not accepted because she's not interested.... Edited August 19, 2021 by 49ersfan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mission27 Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 4 hours ago, 49ersfan said: As for Instagram, i rescinded my follow request after a couple of days lol. Can’t come back from that man 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 13 minutes ago, mission27 said: Can’t come back from that man yep, better to let it hang out in the eather like you couldnt be assed whether she accepted or not 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 (edited) speaking of online dating, i noticed this girl viewing my page on eharmony so i decided to message her. we messaged back and forth for a few days and eventually went on a date last saturday. she is real good at responding to texts and calls and we seemed to vibe after the first date. she told me she is going to bring me lunch to work today and we plan on going on a 2nd date tomorrow at the astros game. Edited August 20, 2021 by Texansfan713 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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