Relationship Advice Thread

[vike daddy]

4 hours ago, Bowler1215 said:

I'm thinking about asking her if she wants to meet for practice and if things go well, get a coffee afterwards.  Good idea?  Bad idea?

great idea.

just be yourself. don't try to impress her with who you think she wants to see, just be yourself.

[naptownskinsfan]

5 hours ago, vike daddy said:

great idea.

just be yourself. don't try to impress her with who you think she wants to see, just be yourself.

Agreed with this, and don’t put too much pressure on it.  It could be just bowling.  It isn’t like yall were talking on a dating app and clearly into each other from the beginning.  

[Ty21]

I got all embarrassed and whatnot last time I posted in here and deleted it the next morning. 
 

I’ve worked w a girl for a minute, we just kinda had a subtle friendship and dynamic and whatnot. I added her on snapchat fairly recently. We were talking about her cat and I said I used to have a cat and she asked for a pic. So I said of me or the cat and she messaged “do you want me” and “???” lol. Idk why lately I’m doing literally nothing and it’s taking me somewhere. 
 

She currently has a bf and I’m an honorable old man now that doesn’t do that stuff anymore with non single girls. 

[WizeGuy]

On 6/18/2024 at 12:09 AM, Ty21 said:

I got all embarrassed and whatnot last time I posted in here and deleted it the next morning. 
 

I’ve worked w a girl for a minute, we just kinda had a subtle friendship and dynamic and whatnot. I added her on snapchat fairly recently. We were talking about her cat and I said I used to have a cat and she asked for a pic. So I said of me or the cat and she messaged “do you want me” and “???” lol. Idk why lately I’m doing literally nothing and it’s taking me somewhere. 
 

She currently has a bf and I’m an honorable old man now that doesn’t do that stuff anymore with non single girls. 

I was all on board until your last sentence. Stay FAR AWAY. Don't even give her hints that something could happen. You don't want that drama or any physical ailments she can bring your way. 

Also, a nonchalant attitude is a good way to go about dating/meeting woman. Flirting with a woman (who is single) is fun. Some people need to realize that's all it needs to be at that point; just fun.

Unfortunately, many of us build it up in our heads. Whether we're in search of lust or love, many of us fall victim of putting women on a pedestal, and that's not fair to you or the other person. Very few people want a clinger or someone who is desperate to get laid. 

Be yourself, keep it lighthearted and fun, and just enjoy getting to know someone new who you are attracted to. It's not any deeper than that. You'll find that it opens a lot of doors to some really awesome women. 

Edited June 20 by WizeGuy

[Ty21]

12 hours ago, WizeGuy said:

Don't even give her hints that something could happen.

I’m naturally flirtytacious so I’ll definitely give her hints but I’m not doing anything til she’s single. But yeah, tyty head games are my thing. I don’t remember what I said in my post but I’m probably going to reference our conversation to prod the fact she wants it. But I won’t actually do anything 

 

I had a thing w a girl a few years ago who said she her and her fiancé were splitsies but lo and behold they weren’t (they’ve had two kids since, awwww 😍). Then he got auto added on fb somehow and sent me some passive aggressive message and then we ran into each other at a grocery store and nodded curtly at each other. But ever since his passive aggressive (“congrats, you did it!”) message I’ve known you don’t go after girls with boyfriendsbb

Edited June 21 by Ty21

[WizeGuy]

Well, getting a separation from my wife. I'm a 36-year-old man with a kid. It's going to be interesting to be single given thos facts. I don't even know what my age range for women is since I haven't had to think about it for damn near a decade. I'm thinking mid-twenties and up. Should be fun, but I'm going to miss the consistent love from a good woman. Luckily, my wife and I are ending it on good terms, and still want to be friends. 

[kgarrett12486]

9 hours ago, WizeGuy said:

Well, getting a separation from my wife. I'm a 36-year-old man with a kid. It's going to be interesting to be single given thos facts. I don't even know what my age range for women is since I haven't had to think about it for damn near a decade. I'm thinking mid-twenties and up. Should be fun, but I'm going to miss the consistent love from a good woman. Luckily, my wife and I are ending it on good terms, and still want to be friends. 

Sorry to hear that man, but life goes on. Honestly, It'd shoot for 30+ on age, as tthey're much more likely  to be on the same life path/wants at that point vs. a mid twenty year old. 

[naptownskinsfan]

38 minutes ago, kgarrett12486 said:

Sorry to hear that man, but life goes on. Honestly, It'd shoot for 30+ on age, as tthey're much more likely  to be on the same life path/wants at that point vs. a mid twenty year old. 

Will co-sign this.  Before I met my wife, even a six year gap from 34 to 28 was tough especially if that person isn’t mature.  Not saying it’s not possible, but I would have my doubts.  

[Malfatron]

14 hours ago, WizeGuy said:

Well, getting a separation from my wife. I'm a 36-year-old man with a kid. It's going to be interesting to be single given thos facts. I don't even know what my age range for women is since I haven't had to think about it for damn near a decade. I'm thinking mid-twenties and up. Should be fun, but I'm going to miss the consistent love from a good woman. Luckily, my wife and I are ending it on good terms, and still want to be friends. 

Just shoot for a good connection

[ramssuperbowl99]

22 hours ago, WizeGuy said:

Well, getting a separation from my wife. I'm a 36-year-old man with a kid. It's going to be interesting to be single given thos facts. I don't even know what my age range for women is since I haven't had to think about it for damn near a decade. I'm thinking mid-twenties and up. Should be fun, but I'm going to miss the consistent love from a good woman. Luckily, my wife and I are ending it on good terms, and still want to be friends. 

If you take care of yourself, you can get attention from mid 20's women in your mid 30's because you've got stability and polish while not yet looking like a lumpy sack of potatoes.

However, the following things are in their mid 20s (trigger warning for old dudes):

• Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles
• Pokemon Red and Blue
• 9/11
• The Matrix
• Harry Potter

She's gonna be saying stuff like "rizz" unironically and is not going to get any of your references or jokes. Doesn't work without being a sleaze IMO.

13 hours ago, naptownskinsfan said:

Will co-sign this.  Before I met my wife, even a six year gap from 34 to 28 was tough especially if that person isn’t mature.  Not saying it’s not possible, but I would have my doubts.

I think the cliff is around 4 years.

I even see it with guy friends and work friends, if someone is 5 years older or younger there's a pseudo-mentor thing that can pop up. Like if I'm talking about buying a house, the older friend gives tips because they've done it.

[MWil23]

27 minutes ago, ramssuperbowl99 said:

If you take care of yourself, you can get attention from mid 20's women in your mid 30's because you've got stability and polish while not yet looking like a lumpy sack of potatoes.

However, the following things are in their mid 20s (trigger warning for old dudes):

• Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles
• Pokemon Red and Blue
• 9/11
• The Matrix
• Harry Potter

She's gonna be saying stuff like "rizz" unironically and is not going to get any of your references or jokes. Doesn't work without being a sleaze IMO.

I’m envisioning a May of 2025 date to see the newest Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part II, where said woman in her mid 20s didn’t know MI-MI-3 existed and thought that the original was Ghost Protocol and how it was her first PG-13 movie in theaters, so “retro” back when Tom Cruise had long hair.

[MWil23]

But yeah, I would say that it wasn’t uncommon to have that ~10 year age gap in other generations because in my humble opinion, there wasn’t all that much difference in how you grew up.

The mid 20s were raised on IPads and snap chat and having their own rooms and talking with their friends through their phones while sitting next to each other.

As a former teacher, I remember making a few references to the Mighty Ducks, The Rock as the WWE icon, and a handful of other things and got a room almost entirely made out of blank stares 10 years ago, whereas my first 3 or so that wasn’t the case. Hard to explain.

[naptownskinsfan]

3 hours ago, ramssuperbowl99 said:

If you take care of yourself, you can get attention from mid 20's women in your mid 30's because you've got stability and polish while not yet looking like a lumpy sack of potatoes.

However, the following things are in their mid 20s (trigger warning for old dudes):

• Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles
• Pokemon Red and Blue
• 9/11
• The Matrix
• Harry Potter

She's gonna be saying stuff like "rizz" unironically and is not going to get any of your references or jokes. Doesn't work without being a sleaze IMO.

I think the cliff is around 4 years.

I even see it with guy friends and work friends, if someone is 5 years older or younger there's a pseudo-mentor thing that can pop up. Like if I'm talking about buying a house, the older friend gives tips because they've done it.

I was raised on Pokémon Yellow myself……..How’s that for rizz? 

[twslhs20]

attempting to date in your late 30s is a gd nightmare.

[WizeGuy]

On 8/1/2024 at 4:29 PM, kgarrett12486 said:

Sorry to hear that man, but life goes on. Honestly, It'd shoot for 30+ on age, as tthey're much more likely  to be on the same life path/wants at that point vs. a mid twenty year old. 

 

On 8/1/2024 at 5:08 PM, naptownskinsfan said:

Will co-sign this.  Before I met my wife, even a six year gap from 34 to 28 was tough especially if that person isn’t mature.  Not saying it’s not possible, but I would have my doubts.  

 

On 8/2/2024 at 6:21 AM, ramssuperbowl99 said:

If you take care of yourself, you can get attention from mid 20's women in your mid 30's because you've got stability and polish while not yet looking like a lumpy sack of potatoes.

However, the following things are in their mid 20s (trigger warning for old dudes):

• Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles
• Pokemon Red and Blue
• 9/11
• The Matrix
• Harry Potter

She's gonna be saying stuff like "rizz" unironically and is not going to get any of your references or jokes. Doesn't work without being a sleaze IMO.

I think the cliff is around 4 years.

I even see it with guy friends and work friends, if someone is 5 years older or younger there's a pseudo-mentor thing that can pop up. Like if I'm talking about buying a house, the older friend gives tips because they've done it.

I'm talking purely for hooking up. Dating wise, I'd like someone very close in age, but that's years out. 

I'm just coming out of a 10-year relationship. It was incredibly fulfilling, but as many of you know- long-term relationships come with a ton of compromise and responsibility, and I just want to avoid that for a while. I want as much independence as possible, which still won't be a ton because we have a 5-year-old together.

But yeah, not looking for an emotional connection as much as a physical connection with limited effort. I'm strapping up and hoeing out for a bit, and I'm not hiding my current situation, either. Honestly, would love to hook-up with some of the moms I've seen at the playground, haha! My attraction is most def geared toward the hot moms in their 30s, but that's probably going to be slim pickings.

And I'm a pretty good-looking dude. I take care of myself, and people typically think I'm in my mid-to-late-20s. That being said, if I'm talking to a woman and start feeling like her uncle due to the age difference, then I'm out. I haven't really thought about this at all since I never thought I'd be single again, so maybe talking to a 26-year-old will feel off, or maybe it'll just be mindless fun, which is all I need at the moment. 

On 8/3/2024 at 5:45 PM, twslhs20 said:

attempting to date in your late 30s is a gd nightmare.

Well, I likely won't be dating in my 30s. I'm just going to sink into a bunch of hobbies (new and old), traveling, and having fun with the opposite sex with no strings attached. How's dating for a divorced man with a kid in his 40s? Any better than a man in his 30s who divorced with a kid?!

Honestly, I'm looking forward to the independence more than trying to a find a new partner or hooking-up. I'm really looking forward to finding a nice place to live, enjoying being a dad, and exploring a ton of new possibilities in this next phase of life. I'm not nearly as giddy as I was in my early 20s, so hooking-up will be fun, but no something I'll need consistently. 

 

 

 

Edited August 5 by WizeGuy