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Craziest (FF Appropriate) True Story in your profession Thread


MWil23

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1 hour ago, ET80 said:

"FF Appropriate" please.

Tks.

My house is like 70 feet away from the distillery I work at and one time two customers got a bit too loaded during flag day at the bar and went to my house and banged in my tree fort. My mom tore the tree fort down not long after that 

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Heard about it second hand, so grain of salt. Happened the week I arrived in South Korea.

TLDR: Student climbed out the window onto the ledge to surprise the teacher, fell. 

Full: At the end of the term, the branch has a themed class photo contest. Best picture would win Chocopies or Ice Cream. Anyway, during break a really, really stupid kid thought it would be funny to climb out the window, and either surprise the teacher when she returned OR be in the background during the picture. [who knows what kids are thinking]. Now, it was only on the second story but somehow, he fell off the ledge onto the ground. The teacher was was either fired or left at the end of the term. Not entirely sure [My first day was her last day].

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 07/12/2018 at 3:47 PM, Ataal said:

I work in IT as a systems administrator.  It is absolutely a daily thing for me to mutter under my breath, "Are you kidding me?  It's 2018!  How do you not know this yet?"

Not crazy, really, but the most recent facepalm moment went something like this:

Me:  Holy crap.  This guy has like 10,000 things in his recycle bin.  Let's clear that out

The next day. 

Sales dude:  Hey, man.  I don't know what happened, but all of my files are gone.

Me:  The only things I deleted were in your recycle bin.

Sales dude:   Yeah, that's where I keep everything I need to go through later.

Me: ......

Sales dude: ........

Me:  **really long sigh**  Okay, I'll restore from backup.  

This dude recycles.

The environmental crisis is serious my man.

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On 12/10/2018 at 3:58 PM, Bullet Club said:

Right outside our office one day I noticed there were a bunch of cop cars in the parking lot next to ours. I get intrigued and start paying attention. At least 5 cars and 10 officers are all pointing guns at this red car. After a minute or two some teens, one by one, get out of the car and slowly approach the cops with their hands up and get arrested. Every gun still pointed right at them. Really bizarre site. Apparently the kids stole the car they were in.

The craziest work story I have is my co-worker's attendance record without getting fired. I work in a small insurance office so we tend to rely on everyone being there to have days go efficiently. My ex-coworker was bad at this. Another coworker of mine actually made a timeline of all of these events by checking the calendar and tracking it all. Obviously some comedic notes were added. A lot of the reason this was able to go on for so long was because my boss had to hit his life bonus for the year and this coworkers numerous life policies (7 at certain points) this year were key towards hitting that goal.

  • 6/20/17- He interviews with boss

  • Late June to Early July- He doesn’t reply to bosses job offer

  • Mid July- He starts

  • Early August-He fails license exam for first time, 3 hours away from office. Closest exam station 15 mins away

  • Still Early August- He fails license exam for second time 3 hours away from office

  • Still Early August- He fails separate exam 1st attempt

  • More Early August- He misses multiple days to study for exams he keeps failing

  • Mid-August- He again unnecessarily takes exam three hours away from office. Missing full day of work

  • Mid-August- He reveals that he doesn’t know basic definitions of comprehensive and collision coverage

  • 8/17/2017- Calls in sick

  • 8/18/2017- He passes one license exam (but not other) on combined 9* attempts

  • 10/16/2017- He starts life policies on 3 kids

  • 10/30/2017-11/9/2017- He leaves an hour or two early every work day

  • 11/10/2017: He works full day

  • 11/13/2017-12/26/17-He leaves early or takes day off

  • 11/16/2017- His life policies on 3 kids lapse due to non-payment

  • 11/27/17-11/28/17- He works 2 full days

  • 12/29/17-2/2/18- He does not work full day

  • 1/19/18- MILESTONE: 50 PARTIAL/FULL DAYS MISSED

  • 3/6/18- He's Off

  • Winter 18: He misses day due to too much snow in driveway. (Snow was completely melted by 11:30 am)

  • 3/8/18- He's Off

  • 4/12/18-4/16/18- He's off for a well-deserved vacation

  • April 2018- He joins work softball team

  • May 2018- He quits work softball team. Games are too hard to make

  • 5/4/18- He's Off

  • 5/7/18- He leaves early

  • 5/14/18 -He leaves early

  • 6/5/18- He leaves early

  • 6/14/18- He doesn’t work full day

  • 6/28/18- He leaves Early

  • 7/3/18- He's out due to dad’s birthday

  • 7/17/18- He leaves early

  • 7/25/18- He leaves early

  • 7/31/18 -He's off

  • 8/15/18-8/17/18- He's off

  • 8/22/18-8/23/18- He's off

  • 8/28/2018- He starts new life policies on 3 kids. (Boss pays to get these set up. Deducts from his check)

  • September 2018-He announces that his wife will be a surrogate for a couple in another state. This is the 3rd different man to put a baby in her

  • 9/5/18: He's out

  • 9/12/18: He's out

  • 9/24/18: He's out

  • 10/2/2018: He says we will start life policy on his wife

  • 10/8/18-10/17/18: He works 16 hours total

  • 10/18/18-10/19/18- He graces us with his presence for 2 full days

  • 10/24/18- He starts life policy on his wife

  • 10/22/18-12/4/18- He misses 3.5+ days per week (3 separate Fridays we are told this week is the last week)

  • Early November- He schedules day off for black Friday with no approval (day we already have off). Boss forces him to remove from calendar

  • 11/2/18- MILESTONE: 100 PARTIAL/FULL DAYS MISSED

  • 11/14/2018- Boss pays $100 to stop his life policies on his 3 kids from lapsing due to non-payment. Tells office he will be in tomorrow until 1:30 pm. Immediately contradicts that story 2 hours later. Does not show up 11/15.

  • 11/21/2018- One of his life policies on his kids lapse due to non-payment

  • 11/22/18- MILESTONE: 1 FULL MONTH WITH 0 FULL DAYS WORKED

  • 11/25/18- Calendar says he is working full week

  • 11/26-27/18- He's out sick

  • 11/28-11/30- He's out at noon or out all day

  • 11/21-12/2- He works 4 total hours

  • 12/3- He's out at noon

  • Early December- Wife’s surrogate pregnancy doesn’t work. She has to go back to other state for 16 days to try again

  • 12/4/18- He's out

  • 12/5/18- He's Fired

 

F'ckn Jesus man. Is your boss always that soft with attendence

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I don't work there anymore, and haven't for quite a while...but i think all of my most "crazy" stories are probably from working in a cemetery to put myself through school.

 

Craziest story is probably just that when they exhume a body, or "disinterment"...it's nothing like it is on all those crime shows on TV.  It's way grosser, way less precise, and it smells substantially worse than it does on Bones on CBS primetime or whatever.  I only ever encountered 2 incidents.  Neither of them was actually a "criminal" related exhumation.  One of them i was fortunately busy with something else at the time and left just as they were starting to dig.  The other, was a guy who died and wanted to be buried in a different cemetery in a different city...and had some sort of legal order thing where his previously dead wife had to be dug up and re-buried next to him in the other city?  It was weird as heck.  I was fortunately not the guy who had to go down into the hole with the undertaker/funeral home director/mortician guy to help sift through stuff and put it in a bag.  But i was right there helping to shore up the grave as it was dug up so it didn't collapse in while they were doing their thing.  And to this day, i still do not know how i managed to not hurl in or around the grave while doing it.  The smell is very bad.

I think in a lot of places, it's probably less horrific.  But they don't have a bylaw here requiring a concrete sarcophagus or anything.  And flimsy little wooden coffins fare very poorly when buried here, apparently.  And also, it's gooey because there's lots of underground moisture.  If you're ever thinking about exhuming someone...don't, imo.

 

I also got to tend to the graves of two guys i played hockey with as a kid.  That was kinda weird/crazy i guess.

 

There was also this one lady who showed up a couple times a week, every week...to have lunch with her dead daughter.  She was less than a year old when she died, and it was like 16 years later...but she still showed up and had a little picnic there, a couple times a week, pretty much every week.  Right on the grave.  I'm gonna come across as insensitive probably, but it was pretty crazy to me.  She was mostly a nice enough (if kinda intense) lady the few times i actually interacted with her when she had special requests to make or whatever, and seemed mostly normal...but that seemed like such a long time to be hanging on to something like that.  Tragic as it may be.

I feel like probably working that many years in a cemetery makes a man kinda jaded about mortality or something.  But the good news is, i can now threaten with 100% credibility that i've buried bigger men than you.  And i know this, because we were once advised by the funeral home director that this particular coffin was "plus sized" and might be too much for the normal lowering device.  So we had to rig up a "custom" set of straps and lower it manually with the backhoe.

Incidentally, i've never put anyone 6 feet under.  Always deeper.  :)

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21 minutes ago, Bullet Club said:

He took a lot of time off this past year so he wasn't aware it was as bad as it was.

Sounds like it would be the opportune place for a slacker to work if not for the tattletale coworkers 

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On 12/8/2018 at 6:55 AM, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

Idk why, I just know it’s a thing.

I always was on my best behavior, but not everyone was.  Where I worked was associated with a university, so a lot of the nurses were fresh out of college and single, so it wasn’t affairs so much as people just being promiscuous.

Any you wouldn’t get a nurse to lay down in one of those beds if you paid us. Disgusting.

Well from the sounds of it a lot of them are lying down on those beds.

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1 hour ago, CBears019 said:

Well from the sounds of it a lot of them are lying down on those beds.

My second-hand understanding is many floors have a supply closet / room with a cot that tends to get traffic of that sort.

Besides, not everybody is so squeamish.

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