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TAET: ?? This Ain't Eagles Talk | Kittens & Underdogs™️

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On 1/8/2019 at 11:33 PM, jonu62882 said:

Wait, so Ian and I are both out there looking for sea mammals...Ian, I just got one thing to say to you:

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How long you been back on the market for Jon? I seem to remember you being completely settled last time I stalked you. 

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5 hours ago, ianlewis16 said:

This is an inspired post. So accurate. I was for the last few months torn between sticking it out, not being completely happy because 'it ain't gonna get any better' or making the leap back into the unknown trusting that somewhere there is a grounded, down to earth chick who likes me largely for who I am (an *******). In the end you take the risk, but I've come out of it at least now knowing I have the ability to be part of a serious relationship, a fact I doubted significantly before. 31 aint old right?!

I always dated younger because I figured it would buy me time to still screw off in my life. And it’s worked so far. The chick I date now is 6+ years younger than me and it’s working as far as that goes. Same frame of mind type thing. She wants the kids and marriage but she’d just settle for engagement soon. Which is fine, she’s a good enough girl. We are not a great match though. We don’t share much in common but couldn’t ask for a better person. I don’t know, I’ve given up on the fact that there’s an absolute match for you. There’s going to be dozens of things that need compromise. But just as long as both parties can understand the other side, it’ll work. Otherwise, it won’t. And there’s no need to force it. No hard feelings but not everyone is for everyone. 

In your situation, I wanted you to date around for a while. New country, new people, whole new opportunities. You needed to experience that being very single. And that she had a kid previous I knew it was going to be rough. Not about the kid per se, but her life isn’t exactly hers. She has to provide for her kid first and foremost. And chicks like that are going to be on the fast track to creating the life that they intended before the kid, with the man she thought she would have kids with. Namely, you. But it’s not your kid and although you’d have the greatest intentions with the kid, she’d be in a hurry to lock it up and you’d still be on the slow and steady track. Another place, another time you can say, if you want to be semi-romantical about it. It wasn’t fair to you for her to put that pressure on. And honestly, it’s something she’ll learn for the next guy. She’ll need to learn it isn’t exactly easy walking into that situation. Even if she’s looking for a more “mature” guy. But use this as a learning experience and live the life you want (or the one I want you to). Steer clear of chicks with kids. There’s plenty of millennial chicks that waited to get married/have kids. Just be a little more selective. Plenty of time to figure it out. And 31 is old only if you’re female. We’re good until like 40 for the marriage and kids stuff. Find some young chicks, have some fun and see where it goes. Keep and eye on the present and one on the future type thing. 

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22 minutes ago, Jroc04 said:

I always dated younger because I figured it would buy me time to still screw off in my life. And it’s worked so far. The chick I date now is 6+ years younger than me and it’s working as far as that goes. Same frame of mind type thing. She wants the kids and marriage but she’d just settle for engagement soon. Which is fine, she’s a good enough girl. We are not a great match though. We don’t share much in common but couldn’t ask for a better person. I don’t know, I’ve given up on the fact that there’s an absolute match for you. There’s going to be dozens of things that need compromise. But just as long as both parties can understand the other side, it’ll work. Otherwise, it won’t. And there’s no need to force it. No hard feelings but not everyone is for everyone. 

That's kinda what my relationship is like...we are so different. She has a million friends and extroverted, loves concerts and stuff, I don't and like to be alone, political/religious views are very different. But she's an amazing person and we make each other laugh. It's all compromise. I agree it's so rare to find a 1 to 1 match, and you can be pretty happy with someone who is close as long as both people try to make it work. I think we make eachother better. Probably our biggest hurdle is the kids thing, but she seems to be less enthused about it then she was a couple years ago. I'm ok with kids, but it's such a time and money suck...and a lot of my problems nowadays is not having enough of either ha, so adding a kid to that sounds like insanity. 
 

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9 minutes ago, ninjapirate said:

I dont even like people if they are similar to me. 

I think dating a girl version of me would be a train wreck of epic proportions 

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14 hours ago, ianlewis16 said:

How long you been back on the market for Jon? I seem to remember you being completely settled last time I stalked you. 

Since I returned a few months ago after a bit of hiatus, Ive gone through a lot personal issues that almost sent me spiraling.  Going through divorce with the wife, and just trying to finish that but she keeps stretching things out.  3 months ago, I was depressed and probably obese (250 lbs), now Im looking like a chiseled B60 with my SKI MASK takin no prisoners.  I do the Uber thing on the side, and I was get hit on by chicks now and riders ask me if I want to party with them (at least or once or twice per session - I have some crazy Uber stories brahs).  I usually ignore or say not interested, but I gave in and partied with this hot chick last Sat, she took me VIP in some hot, new club and we hooked up later. When all is said and done, my wife is gonna miss me because no one treated her as good as I did.  Too good, son. 

Now, I got my mojo back Im runnin through cheetahs like Frank Ocean. Im down for a sea mammal every so often.  Gotta diversify yo stock, son!

Edited by jonu62882

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13 minutes ago, jonu62882 said:

Since I returned a few months ago after a bit of hiatus, Ive gone through a lot personal issues that almost sent me spiraling.  Going through divorce with the wife, and just trying to finish that but she keeps stretching things out.  3 months ago, I was depressed and probably obese (250 lbs), now Im looking like a chiseled B60 with my SKI MASK takin no prisoners.  I do the Uber thing on the side, and I was get hit on by chicks now and riders ask me if I want to party with them (at least or once or twice per session - I have some crazy Uber stories brahs).  I usually ignore or say not interested, but I gave in and partied with this hot chick last Sat, she took me VIP in some hot, new club and we hooked up later. When all is said and done, my wife is gonna miss me because no one treated her as good as I did.  Too good, son. 

Now, I got my mojo back Im runnin through cheetahs like Frank Ocean. Im down for a sea mammal every so often.  Gotta diversify yo stock, son!

Frank Ocean fancies guys though are you telling us something Jonu?

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1 minute ago, ninjapirate said:

Frank Ocean fancies guys though are you telling us something Jonu?

Haha, I don't go that way, but if Ryan Gosling shows up...well then, I might start questioning some things.

 

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17 hours ago, Jroc04 said:

In your situation, I wanted you to date around for a while. New country, new people, whole new opportunities. You needed to experience that being very single. And that she had a kid previous I knew it was going to be rough. Not about the kid per se, but her life isn’t exactly hers. She has to provide for her kid first and foremost. And chicks like that are going to be on the fast track to creating the life that they intended before the kid, with the man she thought she would have kids with. Namely, you. But it’s not your kid and although you’d have the greatest intentions with the kid, she’d be in a hurry to lock it up and you’d still be on the slow and steady track. Another place, another time you can say, if you want to be semi-romantical about it. It wasn’t fair to you for her to put that pressure on. And honestly, it’s something she’ll learn for the next guy. She’ll need to learn it isn’t exactly easy walking into that situation. Even if she’s looking for a more “mature” guy. But use this as a learning experience and live the life you want (or the one I want you to). Steer clear of chicks with kids. There’s plenty of millennial chicks that waited to get married/have kids. Just be a little more selective. Plenty of time to figure it out. And 31 is old only if you’re female. We’re good until like 40 for the marriage and kids stuff. Find some young chicks, have some fun and see where it goes. Keep and eye on the present and one on the future type thing. 

I'm fully prepared to hand over control of my life to you after reading this. Inspired. But yes, I haven't been through this before (a breakup where I actually cared about the other person). It's rough but I have begun to realise stuff about myself and what I should be looking for etc. You're right, I should have spent more time whaling around when I got here, dated a whole bunch of women etc. Ok yeah I slept with a couple of girls, but this was the first girl I'd dated. Hindsight is a beautiful thing. The whole wrong place wrong time is kinda how I'm looking at it, but in reality it just wasn't a good match. I get what you're saying about compromise but in reality I wasn't having much fun in my life and that is not acceptable. Being selective, as you know, has never been my thing, but it is now. I'm quite excited to only go for chicks who I'm actually really attracted to and would be a good match for me. I've never actually tried before, I've just dated down because it's so damn easy. 

Please send continued advice this way. 

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10 hours ago, jonu62882 said:

Since I returned a few months ago after a bit of hiatus, Ive gone through a lot personal issues that almost sent me spiraling.  Going through divorce with the wife, and just trying to finish that but she keeps stretching things out.  3 months ago, I was depressed and probably obese (250 lbs), now Im looking like a chiseled B60 with my SKI MASK takin no prisoners.  I do the Uber thing on the side, and I was get hit on by chicks now and riders ask me if I want to party with them (at least or once or twice per session - I have some crazy Uber stories brahs).  I usually ignore or say not interested, but I gave in and partied with this hot chick last Sat, she took me VIP in some hot, new club and we hooked up later. When all is said and done, my wife is gonna miss me because no one treated her as good as I did.  Too good, son. 

Now, I got my mojo back Im runnin through cheetahs like Frank Ocean. Im down for a sea mammal every so often.  Gotta diversify yo stock, son!

YES. My mojo is steadily returning but that's what i need. I need some of b60's blood injected straight into mine. This is dope though man I'm glad you've come through all that. 

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On 2019-01-08 at 10:54 AM, Kiltman said:

Makes sense, always sucks..but sounds like it was for the best.

Differences can make things fun, but if there is too many clashes and you feel like you aren't living the life you want....it's just not worth it. 
It's a weird age most of us are in, seems like half the people I know are ready to be 40 and the other half is killing themselves to be 20-22 again. And finding someone that matches what you want and then all the other stuff that you need to be compatible on is tough.

Agree. Closing in on 30 and it's a weird age. 

Sorry to hear about your situation Ian. 31 isn't old at all. 

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@Jroc04 dropping knowledge as usual.

Having to wade through unrealistic expectations created by Hollywood/Instagram/etc. is a battle most guys will have to deal with. Social media is their pornography. They see these situations playing out on social media that really shouldn't be demanded in real life. They see perfect people leading perfect lives on social media or in a chick flick and they think that's how their lives and their guys should look like.

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7 hours ago, ianlewis16 said:

Top weekend for me chaps, solid 8/10 that was F*G RUINED MY ALSHON'S ShartY HANDS

Find yourself a quality cheetah to help comfort you.  Brownout incoming.

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