CaliforniaKid7 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 (edited) Just looking for some tips when it comes to purchasing an engagement ring. I’m currently in the middle of graduate school and living happily with my amazing girlfriend who’s already in her career job. Ill be done with DPT in about 2 years. I’m definitely ready and have been to propose and was aiming to do so sometime in the next 12-18 months. We’re planners and want plenty of time to plan a wedding that will most likely take place in the summer of 2022. The next step is purchasing an engagement right. We’ve talked a lot and it’s clear that money isn’t flush (grad student life) but I was hoping to get some advice from y’all on how to best maximize my purchasing power or proposal do’s/don’t s. I’d like to have plenty of time to make the right purchase decision so that’s why this post is coming so early in the process Edited September 30, 2019 by CaliforniaKid7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forge Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forge Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 But seriously, I got nothing. I have no interest in marriage, so I've never purchased one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DingoLadd Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 Never been married was engaged once though, I've also been a jewelry salesman. My advice is don't get one, either get something you both will enjoy (Vacation, getaway etc.) I didn't get an engagement ring and instead got us skydiving lessons. But if you must get one keep it on the low cost side for obvious reasons, look at multiple places because trust me they will try to upsell you especially if you shop together. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacReady Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 20 minutes ago, CaliforniaKid7 said: Just looking for some tips when it comes to purchasing an engagement ring. Don’t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETSGOBROWNIES Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 I’m not going to dissuade you from doing so, I don’t even know you, but I would advise a modest purchase. Some folks feel the need to drop 10-20k on a ring, but you’re probably better off saving that type of an investment for a 20 year anniversary or something and spending the money on something that’s actually a bit more useful right now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliforniaKid7 Posted September 30, 2019 Author Share Posted September 30, 2019 1 hour ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said: I’m not going to dissuade you from doing so, I don’t even know you, but I would advise a modest purchase. Some folks feel the need to drop 10-20k on a ring, but you’re probably better off saving that type of an investment for a 20 year anniversary or something and spending the money on something that’s actually a bit more useful right now. Oh the purchase will definitely be nowhere near that price range. We’ve talked about it and it’s just not super important to us with student loans and increasing our savings coming first. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas5737 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 4 hours ago, DingoLadd said: Never been married was engaged once though Hmmmm 4 hours ago, DingoLadd said: My advice is don't get one, either get something you both will enjoy Nothing says I'm all in like lets spend the money on something I want. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theJ Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 You should be able to get a decent ring for 1-3k that she'll still love. Unless you're marrying some man-lady, a 1/4 - 1/3 caret diamond should look nice on her finger, and not break the bank. The salesman will want to talk about cut/clarity/color on the diamond, but your gf will not be holding this thing up under a microscope. If it passes your eye test, it will pass hers. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETSGOBROWNIES Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 55 minutes ago, theJ said: You should be able to get a decent ring for 1-3k that she'll still love. Unless you're marrying some man-lady, a 1/4 - 1/3 caret diamond should look nice on her finger, and not break the bank. Agreed, a few grand gets the point across. 55 minutes ago, theJ said: The salesman will want to talk about cut/clarity/color on the diamond, but your gf will not be holding this thing up under a microscope. If it passes your eye test, it will pass hers. So true. If you’re gonna focus on anything, focus on size. Like @theJ said, no one is gonna be inspecting it with a loupe, the other 3 “C’s” don’t really matter unless it’s an investment piece. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MWil23 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 In 2010, I spent $1,650 on my girlfriend/now wife and she loved it. I got her a white gold band, single solitaire, and the clarity/color were both good. It's about a .44/.46 carat diamond. I spent another $800 on the wedding band, which is also white gold but has channel cut diamonds embedded in the band. Both came from the same store and have a lifetime warranty, including redipping into the rodium, diamonds to be replaced if they fall out, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slateman Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 You need to know what you want (what she wants) before going to a jeweler. Cut, Clarity, Color, and Carat. The 4 C's of diamonds. Cut - This specifically refers to the shape and quality of angles of the cut of the diamond. Obviously, the shape is important. People have preferences (my wife hated the pear cut). But also the angles of the cut need to be assessed. At times, a cutter may aim for maximum weight, leaving the diamond too deep or too shallow for optimal light reflection. Other times a diamond may be cut to minimize the number of inclusions, improving its clarity, but forgoing maximum sparkle. Even an Ideal cut diamond may have a yellow tint that is too noticeable and detracts from the gem’s beauty. The cut affects so many other things about the diamond. It can cover other flaws. It can create flaws that don't exist. Diamond cuts are graded on a scale of Ideal, Excellent, Very Good, Good, Fair and Poor. Clarity - Clarity refers to the absence of blemishes or inclusions. While they look clear, most diamonds have blemishes. You may need a magnifier to see them, but they are there. The more clear a diamond, the more it will cost. Naturally, they have their own grading scale: FL (Flawless); IF (Internally Flawless); VVS1 (Very, Very Slightly Included 1); VVS2 (Very, Very Slightly Included 2); VS1 (Very Slightly Included 1); VS2 (Very Slightly Included 2); SI1 (Slightly Included 1); SI2 (Slightly Included 2); I1 (Inclusions 1); I2 (Inclusions 2). VS and SI are probably the best value. In all honesty, you're not going to be able to see these flaws with the naked eye. Color - Diamonds are graded on how clear/white they are. Basically, diamond color means lack of color. The less tinting, the higher the grade (thus, the more expensive) Believe it or not, most of them have some color to them. The most important part of color is to determine that it is as colorless as possible in relation to the setting. If not, tinting may be visible to the naked eye. So if you have a big, broad yellow gold band, then the yellow tint of a lower grade may not be as visible. On the other hand, if you go with a silver/platinum/white gold setting, the coloring may be more apparent. Color is graded using a scale from D-Z. Carat - This is actually the weight of the diamond, not the size. While of course carat is an element to consider, the overall appearance and brilliance of the diamond should matter more. A poorly cut 1.5 carat diamond will not shine as brightly (nor garner as much attention) as a brilliant, well cut .75 carat diamond. To evaluate a diamond using the 4 C’s, consider the following: Cut: Make Cut a primary focus during your search, as it is the “C” which most readily impacts a diamond’s beauty. Look for high levels of brilliance and fire, and be willing to reduce your spending in other areas like Clarity or Color to ensure an exceptional Cut. Color: A diamond should look white or colorless to the naked eye. Ensure the Color does not distract or interfere with white and colored light reflection. Clarity: Choose a diamond that is eye clean. Blemishes and inclusions should not distract from the brilliance or fire of a diamond. Carat: Consider what is important for you and the one you love, but remember that brilliance and beauty will outshine mere weight each and every time. Be open to lowering your Carat weight to ensure you purchase a stunning diamond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 9 hours ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said: I’m not going to dissuade you from doing so, I don’t even know you, but I would advise a modest purchase. Some folks feel the need to drop 10-20k on a ring, but you’re probably better off saving that type of an investment for a 20 year anniversary or something and spending the money on something that’s actually a bit more useful right now. I would agree with this. Especially if yall discussed it and she understands that an engagement ring is a silly thing to spend money on. I spent $700 on my wife's. Statistically, the more you spend on a ring and a wedding, the more likely you are to divorce. 10 hours ago, CaliforniaKid7 said: Just looking for some tips when it comes to purchasing an engagement ring. Tip 1: talk to her mother, her sisters, and/or her best friend about what jewelry she likes. So long as you can trust them not to say anything, the more opinions you can get, the better. Also, take a peak at whatever jewelry she wears. Is she a silver or a gold? What size bands does she like? What shape gems? Tip 2: Don't spend a bunch of money. Personally, I think even over $1000 is silly, but I'm probably on the extreme end. Still, throw two months' salary out the window, because that's an absurd figure. Also, if you get gold, go for a fairly low carat. I made the mistake of not doing that, and the stone's fallen out once already because the prongs it's set in aren't strong enough. Plus, no one looks at that part anyway. Tip 3: Don't get a diamond. First of all, if she likes a particular gemstone a lot (and there almost certainly is one), she'll appreciate it more than the generic diamond, and you're likely to be able to negotiate a better deal so you don't get gashed like anyone buying a diamond will be inevitably. Second, all diamonds are blood diamonds, unless they were made in a lab (and good luck finding jewelers that use those). If she really likes the look of diamonds, white sapphires are a good alternative. Thirdly, a more unique ring has a better chance of checking her boxes, and will stand out among her friends' rings. A bunch of them will have diamonds, very few will have an emerald, or a ruby, or an opal. Lastly, you can get a much nicer ring if there aren't diamonds on it and you're trying to stay in a modest budget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETSGOBROWNIES Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 12 minutes ago, Daniel said: I would agree with this. Especially if yall discussed it and she understands that an engagement ring is a silly thing to spend money on. I spent $700 on my wife's. Statistically, the more you spend on a ring and a wedding, the more likely you are to divorce. Yeah I don’t know what “right” number is, but I think you should be paying cash for both tbh. I wouldn’t take out loans or pay interest for piece of jewelry or what is essentially a fancy party. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MWil23 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 I paid cash for my wife's ring. 3 month's salary is a WAY overblown old adage IMO. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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