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y*so*blu

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Just gonna put some things to bed. I am the expert on food because I'm fat, and it's not one of those pituarity gland sort of fat... I am fat because I eat too much food, and I have no shame in such an admission.

These are the final thoughts on these particular manners:

1. Avocado is good. Not great, not life changing, not something you would kill someone over. A day without an avocado is like a day with an avocado, except you had an avocado that one day. They need to improve the toy in the center, that wooden ball doesn't bounce. Give me a goddam decoder ring or something.

2. Pineapple on pizza is an acquired taste, but you're going all in on that nonsense - ham, pineapple, done. You're not getting pepperoni, sausage, jalepenos AND pineapple. You're not getting steak, bacon jalepenos AND pineapple. So, you're making a commitment on that pizza whether or not you're aware of it. Be aware of that choice.

3. IPAs are... Eh. I won't say no, but I'm not thinking "man, I can't WAIT to open up an IPA when I get home from work". Give me a heifeweizen, or a nice glass of single malt. Right @MWil23?

4. Steaks start at ribeye. Every other cut has its place in the universe, but if you're not starting at ribeye, you're wrong. 

5. If you order a bowl of chili and you get a bowl with any beans in it, you better flush that ish down and fight everyone in that goddam building. Chili does NOT have beans in it, and this is a hill I will both kill and die on. Get your bean stew out of my bowl. 

6. Back to steaks - anything above medium is a firable offense, and even medium is written/final warning status. If I wanted to eat a shoe, I'd eat my New Balance. How dare you ruin a precious sacrifice from a cow by throwing it over a fire until it's dried out and brown. How DARE you, sir or madam.

7. Bacon is good. Really good, actually. But dial it back a notch, chief. If you have to advertise your burger has 33 slices of bacon, all that tells me is your burger patties are crap and I should make my own burger. 

8. Breakfast is a beautiful meal, and if you have the time to go over the top, do it. Eggs, bacon, hash browns, sausage, french toast with maple syrup is quite literally what they greet you with in heaven (I should know, I died once). Breakfast tacos is proof there IS a heaven.

9. Hot dog is a damn hot dog. Just, stop it.

10. I guess a pop tart is a ravioli.

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2 minutes ago, ET80 said:

5. If you order a bowl of chili and you get a bowl with any beans in it, you better flush that ish down and fight everyone in that goddam building. Chili does NOT have beans in it, and this is a hill I will both kill and die on. Get your bean stew out of my bowl. 

This is a goddamn fact.

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35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

Just gonna put some things to bed. I am the expert on food because I'm fat, and it's not one of those pituarity gland sort of fat... I am fat because I eat too much food, and I have no shame in such an admission.

It's worth noting before I address this post, I'd like to nominate these blanket takes for HOF material.

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

These are the final thoughts on these particular manners:

1. Avocado is good. Not great, not life changing, not something you would kill someone over. A day without an avocado is like a day with an avocado, except you had an avocado that one day. They need to improve the toy in the center, that wooden ball doesn't bounce. 

Agree on this, although guacamole is legit.

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

2. Pineapple on pizza is an acquired taste, but you're going all in on that nonsense - ham, pineapple, done. You're not getting pepperoni, sausage, jalepenos AND pineapple. You're not getting steak, bacon jalepenos AND pineapple. So, you're making a commitment on that pizza whether or not you're aware of it. Be aware of that choice.

Absolutely correct...making pineapple on pizza with those other topics an inferior pie. Would I turn it down if it were free? Definitely not. Would I order about 10 different topping assortments before this? No, I'd order more than 10 before this.

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

3. IPAs are... Eh. I won't say no, but I'm not thinking "man, I can't WAIT to open up an IPA when I get home from work". Give me a heifeweizen, or a nice glass of single malt. Right @MWil23?

Oh absolutely. If it's a solid IPA, I'll have it, but I'd much prefer the above or really any other Belgian and even probably a stout.

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

4. Steaks start at ribeye. Every other cut has its place in the universe, but if you're not starting at ribeye, you're wrong. 

So much this, and no need to state the obvious, but it starts with the words "bone in".

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

5. If you order a bowl of chili and you get a bowl with any beans in it, you better flush that ish down and fight everyone in that goddam building. Chili does NOT have beans in it, and this is a hill I will both kill and die on. Get your bean stew out of my bowl. 

Would you prefer to die on the pulled pork with slaw hill or the no beans in my chili hill? You can't die on both. I'm serious.

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

6. Back to steaks - anything above medium is a firable offense, and even medium is written/final warning status. If I wanted to eat a shoe, I'd eat my New Balance. How dare you ruin a precious sacrifice from a cow by throwing it over a fire until it's dried out and brown. How DARE you, sir or madam.

This meme sums it up completely, bonus points for the Texas implication:

903reiysb6611.jpg

 

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

7. Bacon is good. Really good, actually. But dial it back a notch, chief. If you have to advertise your burger has 33 slices of bacon, all that tells me is your burger patties are crap and I should make my own burger. 

Bacon on a burger should just be that "finishing touch" that burger needs, not the signature portion of the burger. Also, peppered bacon is the GOAT bacon in general.

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

8. Breakfast is a beautiful meal, and if you have the time to go over the top, do it. Eggs, bacon, hash browns, sausage, french toast with maple syrup is quite literally what they greet you with in heaven (I should know, I died once). Breakfast tacos is proof there IS a heaven.

We got into a heated argument about "if you could only have one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?". People said things like "Italian" or "Chinese" or whatever else...I said "BREAKFAST FOODS".

Can I have all of those things above? YES!!!

Can I also have STEAK and EGGS? YES!

Can I have fried chicken? If it's with waffles and smothered in gravy and syrup, YES!

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

9. Hot dog is a damn hot dog. Just, stop it.

I thought that people were trolling with the sandwich comment. Apparently it's a serious argument. How is this possible?

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

10. I guess a pop tart is a ravioli.

I have no real opinion on pop tarts. It's WAY down the breakfast food list.

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On 11/5/2019 at 10:00 AM, animaltested said:

I think Americans (and the Brits) have a unhealthy obsession with breakfast that's literally killing the country, and breakfast as a meal is a relic of the past that needs to return to the past. Traditional English-American breakfast is built to be farmer fuel, which none of us are. Most of us literally sit on our rear-ends all day staring at a screen. Modern humans do not need the 1800-2400 calories associated with breakfast. On top of it, the other half of breakfast "food" is desert masquerading as a meal. Ceral, donuts, pastries, Oatmeal etc is literally cake by another name. It also doesn't help most peoples "Coffee" is sugary milk.

In short, breakfast should be a special occasion meal, DEFINATELY not an "I need this to exist" meal. 

I agree. I try to not eat until noon. 

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Meats are way better slow cooked in sauce/liquid (meatballs in tomato sauce, or pork in red chili, or ribs in braising liquid, cooked in a stew, etc).  Pan seared steak, grilled chicken, pork chops, etc is fine but ehh. I guess a better way of putting it is that meat isn't that good unless you overwhelm it w/ good flavors. 

Taco Bell is better than Chipotle. 

Edited by 11sanchez11
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1 minute ago, 11sanchez11 said:

I think there is a gene some people have where lemon and/or cilantro taste like cleaning products. 

Would be unfortunate to have. 

I love lemon on most things, but meat is not one of them. GROSS.

Also, I love cilantro.

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9 minutes ago, 11sanchez11 said:

All pickles are delicious 

I have yet to eat something pickled that I did not like.

Back to pineapple: my go to toppings with pineapple are roasted red peppers and onions. It’s good stuff.

My chili always has beans. You weirdos eating ground beef soup can do your own thing.

Pop tarts are gross, ravioli or not.

A hot dog is a sandwich if a choripan is a sandwich (which it is).

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Anything "Ranch" is the most foul, disgusting, rancid substances on the planet. And anyone having eaten, thus smelling like a "Ranch" product. Should be beaten with a wet sock loaded with steamed cabbage and rotten potatoes until said smell is off them as a public service.

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14 minutes ago, PARROTHEAD said:

Anything "Ranch" is the most foul, disgusting, rancid substances on the planet. And anyone having eaten, thus smelling like a "Ranch" product. Should be beaten with a wet sock loaded with steamed cabbage and rotten potatoes until said smell is off them as a public service.

Based on your usual posts, I've determined you're a horrible person. This only reinforces my belief.

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