Ty21 Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 The year is 2016. LSU, looking for a spark, recruits 5* scrambling quarterback Chad Brinkowitz after learning he ran for over 2000 yards in high school. Immediately after he enrolled at LSU, the team learned that he was a huge d**che and he was soon benched for 4 years, where he sat behind starting 1* quarterback Marcus Washington. Washington led them to an undefeated record in year four but unfortunately sustained an injury. It’s Brinkowitz time. It’s the semifinals and LSU is taking on Oklahoma. A fidgety LSU head coach watches anxiously as his backup takes the field. Luckily enough, Chad starts out electric, rushing twice for 13 yards each and the tigers look ready to pounce right at the get go. That is until Oklahoma realizes Chad has no intention of ever throwing the ball or letting anyone touch it besides him so they shut him down with a qb spying linebacker. They get a field goal, but then the Oklahoma defense manages to get 17 sacks in a row on Chad and things aren’t looking good. After a good halftime break, the Tigers seem rejuvenated but Chad audibles every playcall to a qb draw, and with that center now blocking the linebacker downfield, Chad is able to rip off some sweet gains. Chad scores two pretty tight rushing touchdowns on just 57 carries and looks okay as the Tigers lose to Oklahoma 28-16. it’s brinkowitz time Brinkowitz’ face shortly after being told he’d be expected to start after four years of free college for nothing. Patrick Mahomes pops into the tunnel for literally no reason to say hi to an inexperienced random quarterback for no reason. Chad Brinkowitz has no idea who he is but appreciates that he already has a fan club. Brinkowitz takes the field for the first time and thankfully also the last time Chad goes to high five a friend, realizes he has no friends. His only friend is Chad. Chad withdraws the hand and turns it into a celebratory fist pump. Pride saved. Chad says to his coach after his coach grills him for running the ball every single play and getting sacked 13 consecutive times Chad says to his coach, determined to **** up the coach’s entire perfect season after the coach undermined his pride. Chad and the coach huddle around a receiver as the receiver laments letting down his brother. Chad wonders what the receiver’s dead cancer brother has to do with a football game. After the game, some psychotic cancer chick from hell loopy off chemo meds or some **** asks Chad what his favorite color unicorn is. Chad tells her to **** off NEXT UP, THE NFL COMBINE AND ALSO DRAFT 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob_shadows Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 So like... Is he an elf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 24, 2019 Author Share Posted December 24, 2019 3 hours ago, rob_shadows said: So like... Is he an elf? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MKnight82 Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 45 minutes ago, Tyty said: You’re an angry elf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 24, 2019 Author Share Posted December 24, 2019 23 minutes ago, MKnight82 said: You’re an angry elf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 24, 2019 Author Share Posted December 24, 2019 Chad Brinkowitz started just one game in college and didn’t do too hot but he still managed to receive an invite to the combine. Once he arrived at the Combine he was pulled aside by Combine TSA security for looking like a child predator. Upon being asked to run some passing drills, Chad refused and said he doesn’t have to throw it to be the best. They told him if he didn’t throw it, he likely wouldn’t make it to the NFL. In a fuss, Chad threw it a couple time... out of bounds. Chad ended up hitting 0 of 24 passes and received extra points off for trying to scramble several times. Chad is missing several of his teeth but what would you expect? It’s hard to stick with greatness. Chad was interviewed by several teams at the combine. Interviewer one: “Chad, let me see your phone.” Chad: “You wanna see my ****, just gotta say somethin” Interviewer two: “Chad, do you ride in the front of the bus or the back of the bus?” Chad: “Do I look like some POS that rides a bus? Benz or bust.” Interviewer three: “Do you think the Jets would be improved with you on their roster?” Chad: “Would the Jets be improved? Bruh I instantly make every nfl team great just by showing up. I’m my own team.” Interviewer four: “What do you say to the critics that say you’re not ready for the NFL?” Chad: “What do critics have to do with this? Shouldn’t they be, like, rating food and ****?” The NFL draft is finally upon us. With the 27th pick in the 2019 nfl draft, the Washington Redskins select a defensive end. A couple rounds slide by and Chad’s agent stares at him cross. “You said you were the real deal!” shouted the agent. The sixth round ended and Chad tossed up the idea of starting his own league. Finally, the seventh round commenced and the Buccaneers said screw it, let’s take Chad cause we usually don’t keep our 7th rounders anyway. Welcome to the Bucs Chad! https://i.imgur.com/e14QFEg.jpg 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MKnight82 Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Tyty said: Just not on the toilet. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danger Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 3 hours ago, Tyty said: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dome Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 What is he allergic to? and has he considered seeing a doctor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 24, 2019 Author Share Posted December 24, 2019 32 minutes ago, Dome said: What is he allergic to? and has he considered seeing a doctor? Throwing the ball Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 25, 2019 Author Share Posted December 25, 2019 5 foot 11 199 lbs Dreadlocks Unconvincing smile Zero rings Learning Disability Two Daughters 5.4 yards per carry As all of you know, I’m referring to Kansas City Superstar, “Jamaalocopter” Jamaal Charles. Jamaal Charles holds the record for average yards per carry for a career, but what is something he can’t say he’s ever done? Run for 5.4 yards per carry on 39 carries in a game. Chad Brinkowitz can. Chad Brinkowitz stuck his middle finger up to every teammate in every huddle the offense went in against the 49ers and it paid off for him big time. He ran for over 200 yards as the 49ers smashed the Bucs 21-10. But the good news? Chad got his first td. Chad Brinkowitz weaves and swerved through traffic like a young Chris Johnson. Defender stands outside of traffic and tries to hail a taxi. Brinkowitz points out his next kill. “That safety. That’s the guy that’s going to tackle me.” Chad Brinkowitz goes full Kylo Ren and smashes the **** out of the playclock sign immediately after scoring his first touchdown in the NFL. 49ers 21 Buccaneers 10 Stats: Top Passer Jimmy Garoppolo 13-17 205 yards 2 td 0 int Chad Brinkowitz 0-0 0 yards 0 td 0 int Top Rusher Chad Brinkowitz 39 carries 212 yds 5.4 ypc 1 td 12 btk 24 lg Matt Breida 13 carries 52 yds 4.0 ypc 1 td 8 lg Top Receiver Deebo Samuel 2 cat 60 1 td Mike Evans 0 cat 0 yd 0 td 49ers defense: 6 TFL, 2 sacks 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyld Stallyns Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Madden Community: WE WANT TANK BAWSE!!! TYTY: How about a human muppet 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvert28 Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 His face looks like a Samurai War Mask 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 25, 2019 Author Share Posted December 25, 2019 3 hours ago, Wyld Stallyns said: Madden Community: WE WANT TANK BAWSE!!! TYTY: How about a human muppet Tank Bawse is a property of TytybearsFan21. I am Tyty. That’s like asking Caitlyn Jenner to go run a marathon 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted December 26, 2019 Author Share Posted December 26, 2019 Everyone always says Luke Keuchly is like Superman but I think he’s just a ****. No matter what Chad tried to do on Sunday was met by Keuchly, who had 14 tackles. Is that how you spell Keuchly? Kuechly? Cucumber. Kucely Anyway Chad did okay, rushing for almost 200 again as the Bucs fell to the Panthers 17-3. Here’s a bunch of pics of Chad getting Keuched. Think that’s all of em Panthers 17 Bucs 3 Stats: Passing leaders Kyle Allen 12-15 119 yards 1 td 1 int Chad Brinkowitz 0-0 0 yards 0 td 0 int Rushing leaders Christian McCaffrey 24 car 119 yds 4.9 ypc 1 td 11 lg Chad Brinkowitz 42 car 192 yds 4.5 ypc 0 td 16 lg Receiving leaders Curtis Samuel 5 rec 40 yds 1 td OJ Howard 0 rec 0 yds 0 td Panthers D: 14 tfl 1 sack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.