Ty21 Posted May 1, 2020 Author Share Posted May 1, 2020 If football was golf, the Packers would be getting better. Their 2 win total from last year shrunk down to 1, which a pro golfer would be stoked about. AFC Division Leaders - Bengals 9-7, Colts 9-7, Bills 14-2, Raiders 9-7 NFC Division Leaders - Bears 10-6, Bucs 12-3-1, Cowboys 11-5, Seahawks 10-6 NFL’s three worst teams: Packers 1-15, Jaguars 3-13, Steelers 4-12 Packers season stats: Jordan Love 2910 yards 14 td 12 int 64% AJ Dillon 511 yards 2.8 ypc 3 td (and just like that, AJ Dillon has gone over 1k career yards!) Ashton Dulin 749 yards 11.7 ypc 3 td rookie Bud Rich 142 yards 10.9 ypc 1 td packers defense totaled 4 interceptions this year! A 133% improvement over last year! Aaron Rodgers in year 18: 3569 yards 20 td 10 int 69% Passing leaders: Jacoby Brissett (Patriots) 4334 yards 37 td 11 int Patrick Mahomes 4228 yards 31 td 8 int Mitch Trubisky 4219 yards 35 td 9 int Jake Fromm (Chargers/condors) 4161 yards 27 td 14 int Jalen Hurts (Falcons) 4055 yards 31 td 10 int Rushing Leaders: Ezekiel Elliot 2101 yards 6.5 ypc 17 td (almost broke the rush record lol) Saquon Barkley 1307 yards 5.6 ypc 13 td Kareem Hunt (Bills) 1301 yards 5.7 ypc 9 td Joe Mixon (Patriots) 1271 yards 4.9 ypc 10 td Leonard Fournette 1264 yards 4.7 ypc 6 td 18 1k rushers Receiving Leaders: Keenan Allen 1253 yards 12 td Christian Kirk 1213 yards 9 td Courtland Sutton 1203 yards 8 td Julio Jones 1110 yards 3 td Tyler Lockett 1081 yards 7 td 9 1k receivers Sack King: Aaron Donald, Fletcher Cox 15.0 Interception Queen: Bobby Wagner 👸 6 Hats off to Mitch Trubisky on 3 straight MVP awards and to the Chicago Bears for winning super bowl 57 over the Jets 40-29. It’s about time. Virginia McCaskey must have died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danger Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 14 minutes ago, Tyty said: Hats off to Mitch Trubisky on 3 straight MVP awards and to the Chicago Bears for winning super bowl 57 over the Jets 40-29. It’s about time. Virginia McCaskey must have died. Does Madden 20 ask you what your favorite team is? I feel like it must factor into the algorithm to make your favorite team perform better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 1, 2020 Author Share Posted May 1, 2020 30 isn’t that old to Matt Lafleur. After all, it’s the age he finally lost his virginity. But in regards to NFL players, 30 is a death sentence. No NFL player has ever played beyond 30 yards old and lived. Therefore, the Packers let Zadarius Smith and Adrian Amos walk. Lafleur hissed maniacally at them as they left, with such animosity that they knew immediately they had no right to be 30. Going into free agency, the Packers had $180M in cap to play with. Logistically, this equated to roughly 18 fullbacks on 1 year $10M deals, as Lafleur figures in his head almost instantly. Wtf Mitch Trubisky is 99 overall. The Packers opted to sign no one, as money is better saved than spent and all the fullbacks they signed last year failed to even have a cool run in the super bowl. Top 5 free agent signings: Mitch Trubisky - Eagles 6 years $400M Alvin Kamara - Dolphins 4 years $48.2M Za’Darius Smith - Jaguars 3 years $55M Bobby Wagner - Jaguars 2 years $20.3M Devin Singletary - Dolphins 4 years $23.8M the Dolphins bro NFL DRAFT The Packers trade up from the first overall to the second overall pick by packaging their first overall pick, their 2nd round pick and 77 overall WR Gabriel Davis to the Jaguars 2nd overall pick. “What the absolute ****, Lafleur!?!” shouted Roger Goodell, who’s had enough of his ****. “SsssSssSsssSssSs.” Said Lafleur, which roughly translates to “I can’t do anything right. First you want me to raise my win total, then you want me to not raise my draft number? 2 is more than one, Roger. This is more stressful than you think.” With the first pick in the 2023 NFL Draft the Jaguars select CB Isaiah Nickerson 75 overall from Miami. I’m guessing he can return kicks too. With the second pick, the Packers select FB John Kuhn. When told they can’t draft former NFL players, they flipped instead to Duke fullback Trey Hallock, who stands a daunting 6’3” 262 lbs and is 68 overall. Not too shabby. Top five draft picks: 1.13 LT Nicholas Paxton Browns 79 ovr 1.19 ROLB Eddie Perriman Cardinals 78 ovr 1.15 DT Freddie “lieutenant” Winters Chiefs 77 ovr 1.11 TE Johnny Shea Texans 77 ovr 1.12 RB Ray Spikes Ravens 77 ovr Worst pick: 6.30 QB Randy Welsh Patriots 53 ovr Nice try Patriots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 1, 2020 Author Share Posted May 1, 2020 15 minutes ago, Danger said: Does Madden 20 ask you what your favorite team is? I feel like it must factor into the algorithm to make your favorite team perform better. I think it’s just natural progression. If Mitch Trubisky doesn’t truly win MVP the next three years and a Super Bowl in real life I’ll give you $50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danger Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 1 minute ago, Tyty said: I think it’s just natural progression. If Mitch Trubisky doesn’t truly win MVP the next three years and a Super Bowl in real life I’ll give you $50 I just want you to know that I'm saving this. And you should save $50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 1, 2020 Author Share Posted May 1, 2020 1 minute ago, Danger said: I just want you to know that I'm saving this. And you should save $50 And Matt Lafleur shouldn’t have saved himself til marriage but he did at 30 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 good, MLF should be looser this year i like our chances Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Romen Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 This has me cracking up! Ridiculous. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 The Packers went into the 2023 season with one in mind and one goal only: to be more consistent. They accomplished this with flying colors as they went 1-15, just like in 2022. AFC Division Leaders: Browns 11-5, Texans 9-6-1, Dolphins 13-2-1, Condors 9-7 NFC Division Leaders: Bears 11-5, Falcons 11-5, Redskins 12-4, Seahawks 11-5 The Redskins get the NFC’s best record led by 39 year old Aaron Rodgers! He’s supposed to be done though? The dolphins have gone wild in free agency the last few years and its paying off as they went 13-2-1. Im about to start ignoring ties and putting them as L’s. Worst three teams: Packers 1-15, Jets 4-12, Bengals 4-12. At least you’re good at something Green Bay. Packers stats: Jordan Love 8 yards 1 td 0 int (injury prone) AJ Dillon 553 yards 3.2 ypc 9 td Bud Rich 777 yards 11.3 ypc 2 td Stats leedizz: Passing: Russell Wilson 4450 yards 39 td 5 int Jacoby Brissett (Patriots) 4295 yards 35 td 12 int Khalil Tate (Bears 2020 5th round pick) 4269 yards 32 td 12 int Jameis Winston 4263 yards 29 td 14 int (lasik helped) Marcus Mariota 4193 yards 27 td 13 int Mitch Trubisky made $65M this season to go 3744 yards 34 td and 8 int Aaron rodgers did fine with 3728 yards 33 td and 5 int. Rushing: Ezekiel Elliot 1996 yards 6.4 ypc 17 td (looking like a hall of famer after almost two straight 2k years) Dalvin Cook 1631 yards 6.2 ypc 2 td Alvin Kamara (Dolphins) 1525 yards 5.7 ypc 0 td Christian McCaffrey 1498 yards 5.6 ypc 16 td Derrius Guice 1447 yards 5.5 ypc 11 td CMacs been balling out since the Panthers decided to stop throwing to him for no reason. 12 1k rushers. Jk Dobbins is 90 overall but hasn’t gone over 1000 in his 4 seasons lol Receivingers: JuJu Smith-Schuster 1333 yards 15.7 ypc 13 td Michael Thomas 1285 yards 14.8 ypc 9 td DK Metcalf 1279 yards 15 td Deebo Samuel 1109 yards 7 td Tyreek Hill 1068 yards 8 td Sack King: Nick Bosa 👑 16.5 Interception Queen: Avonte Maddox 👸 6 SUPERBOWL 58! The Bears are back at it again without Trubisky this time against the Dolphins, who humped everyone’s butts in free agency the last few years. The Dolphins handled the Bears 31-17. Matt LaFleuer has won 9 games the last four years (5, 2, 1, 1) and has been extended by the packers for winning 13 in his first year. Jubilant Packers fans creamed in their jeans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 It’s time for the packers to acknowledge their players up for new contracts. Afraid to lose consistent runningback AJ Dillon, they offered him a 7 year deal worth $237M. Let’s see what he says. He said yes. Jordan Love still has a year on his deal worth $22.8M. 22.8M is 2,850,000 times the total amount of yards he had last year and 22,800,000 times the total touchdowns. With several top fledge free agents available, the Packers pretended not to see them as they have for decades and instead offered Kicker Tiny Boop Squig Shorterly a 7 year $420M deal. Why does he exist. It’s been several weeks and Tiny Boop Squig Shorterly still hasn’t accepted the Packers offer. Why would someone have to consider a 7 year $420M deal. Top Free Agency signings: LT Tyron Smith 91 ovr Jets DT Fletcher Cox 91 ovr Falcons ROLB Julian Okwara 89 ovr Bengals RB D’Andre Swift 88 ovr Chiefs LOLB Von Miller 87 ovr Raiders (cold blooded) “With the first pick, I can’t see the Packers making any selection but MLB out of Tennessee Reilly Garrison. He’s the most sure thing prospect I’ve seen since Von Miller!” -Scout With the first pick in the 2024 nfl draft, the Green Bay Packers select assumed undrafted prospect out of North Dakota, ROLB Jordan Love. He is 54 overall. At least one Jordan Love on the roster has to be good The Jets with the second pick take MLB Reilly Garrison, 81 overall. With the 30th pick in round 2, the Packers are on the clock. QB Titus Lynch, who many people placed bets in Vegas would be a top 2 pick, is still on the board. Actually kinda neat that he fell this far due to a crappy combine. Good job madden. The Packers select Idaho State quarterback Brian Keenan. “SssssSSS” said Lafleur, which meant “I really like this guy cause isn’t he related to Case Keenum?” “No, his name is Keenan.” “Ssss” said Lafleur which translates to “****”. The packers cut Keenan before the draft ended. Top five selections: 1.2 MLB Reilly Garrison 81 ovr Jets 1.5 WR Rashaun Spann 78 ovr Steelers 1.23 RT Michael Crockett 78 ovr Bills (son of famed frontiersman Davy Crockett) 1.3 LT Timmy Fuller 77 ovr Bengals 1.9 WR Dre Kendricks 77 ovr Saints Worst pick: 2.30 QB Brian Keenan 52 ovr Packers lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 9 hours ago, Tyty said: 2.30 QB Brian Keenan 52 ovr Packers lol the packers cut him though, which shows a good knowledge of talent i feel good about this year 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 7 hours ago, Malfatron said: the packers cut him though, which shows a good knowledge of talent i feel good about this year They cut him because they knew they were limited with the rookie contract cap. They resigned him later for vet maximum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 Things were getting difficult for the packers after living in luxury the last few years. Somehow, the 2024 Packers are fielding a team of 28 players, as half the roster decided to either retire, commit seppuku or find more promising jobs at truck stops. The Packers proved it doesn’t take a full roster to break even though. Even with half the players they had the year prior, they still managed to win a game. What the hell was wrong with the 2008 Detroit Lions. AFC Division Leaders: Browns 11-5, Jaguars 10-6, Dolphins 12-4, Raiders 10-6 NFC Division Leaders: Bears 12-4, Falcons 9-7, Cowboys 11-5, Rams 11-5 Packers Stats Jordan Love 73 yards 1 td 0 int AJ Dillon 657 yards 3.2 ypc 3 td Bud Rich 718 yards 12.2 ypc 5 td Aaron Rodgers stats: Aaron Rodgers 3421 yards 29 td 6 int is he slowing down now? Stat Leaders: Passing Jalen Hurts (Falcons) 4636 yards 35 td 14 int Khalil Tate (Bears) 4546 yards 29 td 7 int Baker Mayfield 4210 yards 39 td 10 int Jacoby Brissett 4166 yards 29 td 9 int Justin Herbert (Jets) 4098 yards 31 td 5 int Rushing Ezekiel Elliot 2079 yards 7.0 ypc 14 td (Jesus) Saquon Barkley 1627 yards 6.7 ypc 15 td Josh Jacobs 1516 yards 5.4 ypc 11 td Alvin Kamara (Dolphins) 1508 yards 5.4 ypc 16 td Nick Chubb 1314 yards 5.1 ypc 11 td 17 1k rushers Receiving Odell Beckham Jr 1301 yards 8 td Justin Palmer (Titans 3rd round pick 2023 from Georgetown lol) 1215 yards 8 td Michael Thomas 1186 yards 8 td Dede Westbrook 1168 yards 9 td Calvin Ridley 1140 yards 8 td 12 1k receivers Sack King: Myles Garrett 👑 14.0 Interception Queen: Karlos Bond 👸 6 Super Bowl 59 is upon us and it’s the Bears and Dolphins again lol. This is the Bears fourth Super Bowl in 5 years and they lost it again, going 1-3 in superbowls the last few years lol. Stupid stacked Dolphins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 The Packers started the 2025 offseason by extending fullback Marvin Ross (70 ovr) to a 7 year deal even though he sucks. When you take a fullback in the second round you’re kinda forced to pay his bills for at least a decade. They also resigned Erik Hagler (68 ovr) the terrible MLB they drafted years ago, to a 5 year deal. Last but not least, they resigned Jordan Love (58 ovr) to a 7 year $11.6M deal even though he hasn’t played a complete season since college. The packers were dead set on being vigilant in free agency this year but unfortunately missed it due to a conflict of interest as the annual cow cheerleader parade was going in Green Bay Top Free Agent Signings: LT David Bakhtiari 93 ovr Bills RE Aaron Donald 93 ovr Texans FS Justin Simmons 92 ovr Jets RG Zack Martin 91 ovr Cardinals LT Terran Armstead 88 ovr Falcons With the 1st pick in the 2025 draft, the Packers traded down to 30 as the pressure of drafting first for like 20 years in a row without success was too palpable. The Packers actually went with taking the top rated target for once, selecting the top Tight end (Lucas Tripp out of Toledo) on the board but unfortunately he was a bust as well. 66 overall. Stupid packers. Top 5 draft picks: 1.10 QB Alfonso Bobo 79 ovr Panthers 2.2 RB Torrian Smiley 78 ovr Broncos 1.1 LE Gabe Haynes 77 ovr Bears 1.11 DT Bradley McBride 77 ovr Vikings 2.1 RB Richard Richardson 77 ovr 49ers Worst pick: 6.8 MLB Kalen Briggs 53 ovr Colts Richard Richardson is the best name ever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 Aaron Rodgers looks like his brain has snapped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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