Australian Survivor!! Now - Tribal!! Final!! Congratulations to our Sole Survivor - Outpost31!!

[Pickle Rick]

2 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Dont listen to pickle. Its totally optional.

[The Orca]

[Shady Slim]

alright guys i got a bit tied up at work so i'll post it up now

[Shady Slim]

the stories for 2T1T

Outpost;

1. One time I was at a Christian Bible camp in Montana. There were about 50 cabins, but not all of them were occupied and there were about 200-300 kids at the camp. One side was girls, the other side was boys. There was a moose one night right in the middle of the cabins. It was cool. Anyway, the cabins weren’t in the best shape. They had like a whole big restroom area with showers and 4 or 5 stalls and urinals. One of the sinks must have been too close to some wiring or something because when you touched the faucet it would give you a shock. It wasn’t a light shock, it was a good shock. You felt it. It was the shock like when you lightly bite on your two pinky fingers for 30 seconds and then interlock them and then pull. That kind of shock. Naturally, all the kids in the cabin thought it was the greatest thing ever so it became a game. One kid filled up the sink with water and then when you touched the water it gave you a shock. It soon descended into a dare game. How long could you hold your finger in there? Then it got worse. Someone put their nose in it. Then their whole hand. We were running out of appendages until someone suggested someone put their penis in. The room went dead silent. Then a couple chuckles. Then outright laughter. Nobody would do it. I knew it was my time to shine. But someone beat me to it. They would do it. They walked up, everyone watching (from behind), but he took too long and chickened out. That’s when I told everyone to clear the room, I was going in. Long story short, I did it. I put it into the sink, but nothing happened. My penis is either impervious to electric shock or for some reason I was protected by God.

2. My sister and I are extremely protective of each other, but also treat each other maliciously. When we fight over something, it gets epic. There is only one rule: We can NEVER get revenge on each other with poop. This is because one time my dad really pissed me off for some reason I can’t remember when I was between 15-17 and I put his toothbrush in my butt and then put it back in his drawer. She found out and held it over my head until I said if she said something I would just do the same thing to her toothbrush. We had never crossed that barrier since. Fast forward a decade and we got in some big stupid fight. Brief aside, it’s an inside joke between us that a mango is a peace offering. Somehow a mango ended a really bad fight a while back, so it’s always been a thing. Anyway, got in a really really really big fight. It was brutal. 3 weeks went by without either of us saying a word. Then a family gathering came up. I was still furious. The Red Wedding episode of Game of Thrones had recently come out and it inspired me to cross the one barrier we had never crossed before. So I cut up a mango, stuck one piece up my butt, took a picture of the mango slice sticking out my butt and then put that slice back onto the plate. Then I offered it to her. She ate the mango. Shortly after I sent her the picture.

Mookie;

1. I visited Ireland. While there I ended up joining a Bachelor Party with the two girls in I was hanging with in our tour group. The night was straight out of the hangover. They got us into this secret nightclub that was under a normal restaurant, completely underground. A lot of...interesting things took place and I woke up in our hotel room with an odd assortment of people with very little recollection of what took place that night.

2. In college I sold pot. One day the RA was doing room searches, our RA was a **** so he would search rooms thoroughly. We got super paranoid and happened to be making milkshakes at the time, so we tossed the couple grams of weed we had into the blender with the milkshake and blended it all up.

Malf;

1. i went with my girlfriend to a state park and we stayed after night and got followed by a bear. We managed to escape, but she moved back to Equador shortly after

2. I went to Woodstock 99 and were there when the rioting started. It happened during the Red Hot Chili Peppers set, when a bunch of people rushed a T-Shirt vendor.

swoosh;

in paris, i got drunk on wine and peed on the eifel tower. not the only time i’ve peed in public after drinking, but by far the most notable.

in thailand, i got drunk and ended up in a boxing ring going against a conor mcgregor lookalike from ireland. i suffered a concussion, but was rewarded with free booze.

Pickle;

Story 1: After French class in college I started talking to this girl I had a crush on. We walked out of the classroom and down the hall towards the stairwell at the far end of the building. Just before the stairwell sat a large double door that was always open but had a pole in the middle of the hallway where the two doors shut into. As we were talking, we were both kind of walking down the middle of the hallway and neither of us was really paying attention to the upcoming double doors. As classes had just let out, there were hundreds of people walking both ways through the doorway. As we approached the doorway we both realized that we were about to walk into the pole. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed an opening between the students filing in on the left side of the pole and quickly moved over to squeeze my way through the doorway. Tragically the girl tried to do the same thing but was a split second behind me in moving. As a result she bumped into me, now I'm a fat guy so needless to say I didn't budge but she did. She bounced right off of me and went face first into the pole before face planting on the ground. Because of all of the students walking in and out, I was walled off and had to go down half the stairs before I could stop. I waited there until she came walking down the stairs. I started to ask her if she was ok, but she just held up her hand and kept on walking.
 

Story 2: My brother and I was out on a beach on Padre Island helping another grad student collect data for his Master's Thesis. We were pretty far down the shore, so much so that we had not seen another person for what seemed like hours. It was hot as hell, as this was in August and we were way down in southern Texas. The heat index had to be reaching 115, easily. After a few hours of working, we saw a man from off in the distance walking towards us, he was walking south and was all by himself. It took the man a while to reach us but he finally did. He stopped to talk to us for a little bit. The man had a backpack on but didnt look to be prepared to be out on the island all by himself with very little supplies in the dreaded Texas heat. We asked him what he was doing all the way down here away from everything. He said that he was getting away from society and all of the chaos that it brings. We asked him if he had supplies and other things and he said he was all good. Then we noticed he had no water with him, we asked him if he would like any water, his response startled us, he told us he had been walking for almost a month and hadn't had any water. He went on a short lecture about how our bodies are mostly water so we dont need to add water to it and the water people drink is actually poison. Soon after finishing his lecture on not needing water we wished him luck and he continued on his way further south and into no man's land with only a backpack, no tent or shelter and no water.

Orca;

Story 1: This one time in grad school, my brother and I went out to eat and catch up with my adviser after a long day of field work for my thesis. After catching up over some good food and drinks at a beachside restaurant my adviser left. Not long after, my brother and I leave the restaurant. The restaurant was packed when we were leaving, completely full, not a parking space available. We walk to my truck at the back of the parking lot. Not being well versed is driving a truck at the time I always tried to park away from vehicles. I jumped in the truck and tell my brother to watch behind me and help me back up. He tells me to watch out for the Porsche behind the truck. He then proceeded to get on his phone to follow a game. As I am backing the truck up, I hear him scream to stop. At that point, I hear a crunching sound behind me. My brother turns pale and tells me that I just backed over the Porsche. After pulling forward quickly, we both get out panicking. We check the Porsche and the truck for damage and barely see any. We are freaking out at this point. We sit in the truck for an hour waiting for the owner to come out and inform him of what happened. After an hour no one had came out of the restaurant, so my brother tells me to forget it let's just leave. I give him the keys and tell him it's his turn to drive. I actually help him back up and we leave and never return to that restaurant.(edited)

Story 2: In college one Spring Break, my brother, a friend, and myself had the bright idea to go storm chasing. We had the whole week planned out. We rented a car and packed up for an adventure. Once we get to our first destination we came to the annoying realization that the weather that week wasnt going to cooperate. As such we had a contingency plan already in place. We kept driving out west and were going to go site seeing to national parks and some other select locations. I was driving to Flagstaff one day. About 60 miles outside of Flagstaff I was just cruising enjoying the drive. I look up and a cop passes me going the other way, I start getting more alert. I look in the rearview mirror and start screaming "****, ****, ****!!!". My brother starts asking me what is wrong and our friend who is in the back seat looks puzzled. I start freaking out and tell them the cop slammed on the breaks and turned around when it had an opening. My brother and our friend flip around in their seats and start looking behind me at this point. There was a pretty long line of cars behind me and coming the other way.

They tell me they see nothing and no cop. About every 5 min, or whenever there was an opening for the cop, I could see him getting into the oncoming lane to pass a vehicle, headed my way. I'm freaking out and losing it, asking them what I should do. After about 30 minutes they were thinking I was crazy because they hadnt seen the cop, then they saw the cop finally. They kept telling me it's fine, while I kept freaking out. Then my brother asked me why would the cop even be pulling me over. I told him, no idea, but I was going 100 MPH when I first saw him. At this point my brother and friend are having a blast laughing their *** off. At the 45 minute mark, roughly 60 miles since the cop first turned on his lights and turned around, the cop is 2 cars behind me. I'm freaking out cause this cop has been following me for 60 freaking miles with his lights on and there are only 2 cars between me and him. He had to be coming for me. I look in the rear view mirror and see the cop get over to pass a car again and I'm losing it. We are almost into Flagstaff at this point. There is no where to turn or get off the road. It's just a straight freaking road. I'm basically having a heart attack at this point. I look up again and see the cops lights going and a siren now, then I see the car behind me pull off to the side. The cop pulls over behind the car as well. The car behind me looked almost identical to mine, so I was still freaking out, I floor it and get into Flagstaff. Pull over at a restaurant and toss the keys in the air and tell them I'm done. They were still laughing, for almost an hour straight at that point.

Daboy;

1. Last year, I had taken an internship with the Democratic Party of Virginia. One of the events that this internship allowed me to be a part of was the Collis Warner Pig Roast that was hosted by Senator Mark Warner at his home in King George, Virginia. As I was driving towards Senator Warner’s farm, I noticed that the road I was driving in was surrounded by trees, standing very close to the roads, making any driveway almost impossible to find. This, combined with the 40MPH speed limit, makes for a dangerous place to be in. As this was my first time in this area, I didn’t know better and drove slightly above the speed without being too worried. My main worry was to represent the DPVA well and to make a good impression on the Senator and his wife. I noticed from my phone’s GPS that I needed to turn soon, but I didn’t see any driveways so I ignored it, thinking my phone was being dumb and I’ll see the driveway eventually. I realized that I was deeply mistaken, and there was a narrow driveway that would take you into the farm. Like a big ol’ idiot, I decided to turn into the driveway at 40 mph. Because I was going at such a high speed, I missed the driveway and ended up crashing my car into his fence and a tree. Just like that, my Camry was totaled. Well that’s one way to make a first impression.

2. Last year, I was in attendance for WWE Wrestlemania at Metlife Stadium in New Jersey. After the event ended I was stranded alongside thousands of other fans in the rain for over two hours who were all trying to get back to NYC as NJ transit ended up being overwhelmed by the number of passengers and the trains came far and few between. Unfortunately, I had a train ticket that was scheduled to take me back home, departing at 3:15AM. I had planned it out so I can take the train back to the hotel, take a shower, check out, and wait for my train. With only forty minutes left, my train finally arrives and takes me back to Penn Station. In the time between the end of the show and the train arriving, I failed to go to the bathroom, as going would lose my spot in line for the trains so I really needed to go. Luckily not too long after, I found myself arriving at Penn Station with roughly 20 minutes left before my train home departs. I sprinted as fast as I could to my hotel, despite the pressing need to pee. When I got into my hotel room, I immediately slammed open the bathroom door to get in and finally pee. However, the bathroom door collided with the hotel room door and I ended up smashing three of my fingers. Despite the pain, I was able to pee an Austin Powers-esque amount of pee and stuffed all my clothes into my backpack, check out, and get back to Penn Station and my train with less than 5 minutes to go before departing.

Gopher;

I just built a new house, house was vandalized by looters before It was finished. Delayed process by a couple months.

me and my wife are having a child, this is our second try at it, we are having a girl

Mission;

One year I was in Miami for the Kentucky derby (there was a party at a casino boat down there). Went to a club later that night. I met a dancer and we really hit it off. We ended up at iHop at 6am and made plans to meet up later that night at my hotel bar. She never showed up and totally ghosted me. About an hour after she was supposed to show up I’m sitting in my room watching TV and a random 80 pound girl knocks on my door and asks where her friend is. I’m like wtf are you talking about. She pulls a knife on me and tells me she knows her friend was meeting me and I probably have her tied up in my room somewhere. I let her search my room and she apologizes. Apparently they are co workers. The girl is later located and apparently had been on a coke binge or something.

One time TLO and I were at a bar in LA with this rocket scientist. We met a guy with a spray painted porch SUV who works in video production. TLO me and the rocket scientist convinced him we run a CBD cheese stick company out of Vermont and got invited to a party in Hollywood. We met one of the Kardashians there and then TLO and I ate too many pancakes and vomited in the back of said Porsche.

 

Edited June 23, 2020 by Shady Slim

[Shady Slim]

the stories for D2S

bcb;

I taught two current nfl players

I got into a fight with a professional wrestler at a bar

Matts;

Story 1: Most of you sons of ******* know that All Pro Mike Griffen was my backup in highschool. What some of you dont know is I reconnected with him on a message board. He gave me a friend code to Nike where I got $250 in free stuff.

Story 2: I once went on a business trip to NYC. I stayed at the waldorf astoria. I got super drunk and ended up at a bar sitting next to Amy Schumer.

Rags;

Story 1: Faith Hill used to babysit me before she was famous.

Story 2: In Kodiak, I got jumped in a parking lot by three guys from Deadliest Catch.

MWil;

Story 1: I was a catcher for a future MLB all star

Story 2: In the late 1990s, my family was walking around the White House when President Clinton jogged by, stopped, shook my dad’s hand and said hello

Josh;

Story 1: I once was on an alpine slide (for those who don’t know, it’s a little cart based concrete coaster with a lever you pull or push to go faster or slower) and was going too fast on the track, fell off a dip and broke my arm.

Story 2: I once made a 600 foot slip and slide going down my grandmothers hill, and in the process of going down said slip and slide, my speedo tore off in front of dozens of people.

Swag;

Story 1: I met Vice President Mike Pence and refused to shake his hand or otherwise interact with him at a conference that we both attended.

Story 2: I graduated at least magna *** laude from three top-35 universities in the United States. 

ET;

Story 1: I was on a flight from Vegas in 2006; The plane's tire exploded and veered off the runway. Nobody was injured, but the whole ordeal took about 11 hours to get through. 

Story 2: Back in 2004, one of my clients was the State of California transportation division (CalTrans). During my executive proposal, our proposal team was interrupted as the Governor of California (Arnold Schwarzenegger) joined the discussion panel. He didn't say a word, but thanked everyone for their hard work and dedication to the great state of California. 

Touch;

Story #1 I met Herman Moore at an autograph event when I was 8 years old. I told him his ears looked like they could take wind and carry him away.

Story #2 when I was 4 years old I drowned in a pool and was saved by my grandpa. My heart stopped when I was in the ambulance and I was clinically dead for roughly 3 minutes

Stallyns;

Story 1: I was pulled over for running a red light after leaving a bar while heading to Taco Bell. I mixed up how far away I was from the bar and used a friends house as my point of origin. Hadn’t even passed his house yet. The officer asked for the IDs of the occupants of my car and after reading my friends name back to dispatch the dispatcher told the officer we were good to go. He asked me twice if I was good to drive before letting me continue on.

Story 2: My friend and I went to a concert for a coworker’s band and after dropping him off at home I started the drive home. One stretch of the road the speed limit drops from 35 mph to 25 mph and this was the one time that a cop was actually sitting there scanning. I got pulled over for 15 mph over the speed limit. I had borrowed the movie Talledega Nights from my friend and had it sitting on the front passenger seat. The cop started talking to me about the movie and how much he loved it. He made me walk the line but didn’t perform a breathalyzer. Since I was 5 blocks from home he made me leave my car there and dropped me off at home and told me to leave my car there until the morning after I slept it off.

Ted;

Story 1 I once became almost by accident a kop leader on a French cup final (soccer), hence leading a crowd of thousands singing and cheering

Story 2 I interviewed the president of my favorite soccer club once on a school project who told me that our star goal scorer, who was often injured, was actually a nutcase who didn't want to play on any given weekend because he thought he was cursed by psychics

[Shady Slim]

alright so a deadline change you have until 9PM EST TUESDAY to post your two questions for each story IN HERE IN TO THE THREAD, and tag the person you are questioning

tribe 2twins1tribe

1. @swoosh
2. @The Orca
3. @Pickle Rick
4. @Malfatron
5. @MookieMonstah
6. @daboyle250
7. @Outpost31
8. @gopherwrestler
9. @TLO
10. @FinneasGage
11. @mission27

tribe death to swooshy

1. @Matts4313
2. @TedLavie
3. @Wyld Stallyns
4. @theuntouchable
5. @JoshstraDaymus
6. @Ragnarok
7. @bcb1213
8. @MWil23
9. @ET80
10. @SwAg

 

[SwAg]

You can really see the strategy difference.

[Shady Slim]

because finn and TLO didn't submit (and then only one of them is sitting out), D2S automatically gets the point for the other.

D2S leads it at this stage 1-0

[Matts4313]

13 minutes ago, Shady Slim said:

It was the shock like when you lightly bite on your two pinky fingers for 30 seconds and then interlock them and then pull. That kind of shock

I got hung up on this part. WTF? Thats a thing?

(not an official question)

[Matts4313]

3 minutes ago, SwAg said:

You can really see the strategy difference.

For real. They have to much time on their hands. Some of ours were only ~10 words long and we were questioning the time commitment. 

5 minutes ago, Shady Slim said:

alright so a deadline change you have until 9PM EST TUESDAY to post your two questions for each story IN HERE IN TO THE THREAD, and tag the person you are questioning

 

Its going to take me until 9pm Tuesday just to read through their mini-novels.

[Matts4313]

35 minutes ago, Shady Slim said:

The heat index had to be reaching 115, easily.

Team - this one seems dicey. On the island itself the hottest day of the year is 8/2 with an average of 90 degrees. There is a lot of breeze on the island, so I doubt we have a heat index of 115. Might be worth exploring. 

[MacReady]

Matt’s tribe confirms they’re a bunch of ***** *** *******.

[FinneasGage]

Oh my god I’m so pissed I didn’t even realize the next comp got posted

[Matts4313]

52 minutes ago, Outpost31 said:

***** *** *******

5 - 3 - 7

Daddy big weiners?

Lover and fighter?

Crazy lil bastard? 

[MacReady]

11 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

5 - 3 - 7

Daddy big weiners?

Lover and fighter?

Crazy lil bastard? 

No, ***** *** *******.