Pettine Strikes Back [So much off coverage]

[packfanfb]

31 minutes ago, MrBobGray said:

I had a realization yesterday about why I get so frustrated watching Pettine's defense this year.  To illustrate my point, let's turn to the magical world of competitive Street Fighter:

Pettine's defense is the football equivalent of Guile.  For those of you who grew up in loving homes, Guile sucks and is played primarily by sociopaths with a deep hunger for human misery.  He's a human wall of fireballs, just endlessly walking back and being a ****, over and over until the joy of the game is sucked from both of you, which is of course the only thing that brings Guile players the twisted emotion that to them resembles happiness.  Closing the gap on Guile is a long, awful test of patience, finding the spacing to jump in and move through, but not too close because otherwise you get Flash Kicked or crouching fierced and then YOU GET TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN WHICH IS JUST THE BEST.

**** Guile, is my point here.

But it's effective, because it puts all the stress on the other player.  They need to maintain their cool and not mess up over and over and over while you just need to remember how to charge a Sonic Boom.  It's a mental stress test, and it's surprisingly tough to pass, especially if you're playing a character built off momentum and emotion.  The Zangief/Guile match-up in most Street Fighters is generally sadder to watch than the opening ten minutes of Up, with the role of cancer here played by whichever human sack of misery picked Guile.  This is what Pettine wants to do.  He wants to force the other team to pick the sad, boring option (5 yard out ad infinitum) over and over and over, betting that their humanity will crack before their will.  And it works!  The Bears stuck to it with almost ridiculous patience and it barely paid off, if at all.  It helps that once you're in the red zone, there's not even a sad boring option because the field is too compressed to really get guys in space.  But really it's just about making the other team make mistakes.

Here's the thing though.  This is fine if you're playing Guile, because you picked Guile specifically to relish in this particular brand of ghoulish torment.  But the Packers defense, personnel-wise, isn't Guile.  It's Akuma, and we're talking SFIV Vortex Akuma too.  Since I know we're too deep into the nerdery now and I've lost most of you, I'll explain.  Akuma is just a big ole' bag jam-packed full of mechanics.  Pretty much nothing he can't do.  He can play keepaway for days, and almost as effectively as Guile.  The fireball spam can be as real as you can dream it.  But unlike Guile, because despite his appearance he has more of a soul than the void inside Guile and those who play him, Akuma can go in as hard as anyone in the game.  His aggressive pressure is crazy, and if he knocks you down once things can go very wrong very quick.  Man has about 14000 options for you on wake-up, and good luck guessing which one it's gonna be without mind reading.  Akuma's best play style is playing just defensive enough that there's no openings, and then obliterating you when you mess up because you tried to press a button because you thought video games were about fun, your first mistake.  

This particular brand of play is what we call "the Belichick method of defense", and it certainly requires either a genius defensive mind or a massive amount of talent.  The Packers sure don't have a genius defensive mind, but boy howdy look at this talent.  Top to bottom, this is probably the most talented Packers defense of Aaron Rodgers' career.  2010 had absolute monsters, but if we're talking overall depth and the full roster I'll give 2020 the edge.  Even more, there's a ton of interesting possibilities that the personnel bring to mind, because you have corners who can play on an island, safeties that can play basically any DB position, three edge who can play anywhere on the line for pressure, a top 5 defensive lineman in football who is dominant in both phases, etc.  This defense could be so many things, and watching Pettine force them to just back up and throw fireballs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, because "hey they'll mess up eventually probably!" is infuriating.  Gutekunst has given Pettine absolutely every tool he could possibly want, and in return Pettine built a defense that uses none of them at all.  

And all around the world Guile players bay and chitter in their nightmare voices in recognition of one of their own.

Sorry, but this was the first thing I thought of after reading the first sentence. 

[MrBobGray]

6 minutes ago, packfanfb said:

Sorry, but this was the first thing I thought of after reading the first sentence. 

Sorry? You full quoted my post after it got paged:

[AlexGreen#20]

43 minutes ago, MrBobGray said:

I had a realization yesterday about why I get so frustrated watching Pettine's defense this year.  To illustrate my point, let's turn to the magical world of competitive Street Fighter:

Pettine's defense is the football equivalent of Guile.  For those of you who grew up in loving homes, Guile sucks and is played primarily by sociopaths with a deep hunger for human misery.  He's a human wall of fireballs, just endlessly walking back and being a ****, over and over until the joy of the game is sucked from both of you, which is of course the only thing that brings Guile players the twisted emotion that to them resembles happiness.  Closing the gap on Guile is a long, awful test of patience, finding the spacing to jump in and move through, but not too close because otherwise you get Flash Kicked or crouching fierced and then YOU GET TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN WHICH IS JUST THE BEST.

**** Guile, is my point here.

But it's effective, because it puts all the stress on the other player.  They need to maintain their cool and not mess up over and over and over while you just need to remember how to charge a Sonic Boom.  It's a mental stress test, and it's surprisingly tough to pass, especially if you're playing a character built off momentum and emotion.  The Zangief/Guile match-up in most Street Fighters is generally sadder to watch than the opening ten minutes of Up, with the role of cancer here played by whichever human sack of misery picked Guile.  This is what Pettine wants to do.  He wants to force the other team to pick the sad, boring option (5 yard out ad infinitum) over and over and over, betting that their humanity will crack before their will.  And it works!  The Bears stuck to it with almost ridiculous patience and it barely paid off, if at all.  It helps that once you're in the red zone, there's not even a sad boring option because the field is too compressed to really get guys in space.  But really it's just about making the other team make mistakes.

Here's the thing though.  This is fine if you're playing Guile, because you picked Guile specifically to relish in this particular brand of ghoulish torment.  But the Packers defense, personnel-wise, isn't Guile.  It's Akuma, and we're talking SFIV Vortex Akuma too.  Since I know we're too deep into the nerdery now and I've lost most of you, I'll explain.  Akuma is just a big ole' bag jam-packed full of mechanics.  Pretty much nothing he can't do.  He can play keepaway for days, and almost as effectively as Guile.  The fireball spam can be as real as you can dream it.  But unlike Guile, because despite his appearance he has more of a soul than the void inside Guile and those who play him, Akuma can go in as hard as anyone in the game.  His aggressive pressure is crazy, and if he knocks you down once things can go very wrong very quick.  Man has about 14000 options for you on wake-up, and good luck guessing which one it's gonna be without mind reading.  Akuma's best play style is playing just defensive enough that there's no openings, and then obliterating you when you mess up because you tried to press a button because you thought video games were about fun, your first mistake.  

This particular brand of play is what we call "the Belichick method of defense", and it certainly requires either a genius defensive mind or a massive amount of talent.  The Packers sure don't have a genius defensive mind, but boy howdy look at this talent.  Top to bottom, this is probably the most talented Packers defense of Aaron Rodgers' career.  2010 had absolute monsters, but if we're talking overall depth and the full roster I'll give 2020 the edge.  Even more, there's a ton of interesting possibilities that the personnel bring to mind, because you have corners who can play on an island, safeties that can play basically any DB position, three edge who can play anywhere on the line for pressure, a top 5 defensive lineman in football who is dominant in both phases, etc.  This defense could be so many things, and watching Pettine force them to just back up and throw fireballs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, because "hey they'll mess up eventually probably!" is infuriating.  Gutekunst has given Pettine absolutely every tool he could possibly want, and in return Pettine built a defense that uses none of them at all.  

And all around the world Guile players bay and chitter in their nightmare voices in recognition of one of their own.

Eloquently put

[Uffdaswede]

I had to run down to wardrobe and scream at all the peons to get busy putting a completely new outfit on my mental image of Mr. Bob Gray. Before, he had stepped off the set of Madmen.

Now he’s Gilfoyle. 

Edited January 8, 2021 by Uffdaswede

[incognito_man]

10 minutes ago, Uffdaswede said:

I had to run down to wardrobe and scream at all the peons to get busy putting a completely new outfit on my mental image of Mr. Bob Gray. Before, he had stepped off the set of Madmen.

Now he’s Gilfoyle. 

do me next

[AlexGreen#20]

8 minutes ago, incognito_man said:

do me next

Semi-fashionable jeans and a company branded polo shirt. 

[MrBobGray]

5 minutes ago, AlexGreen#20 said:

Semi-fashionable jeans and a company branded polo shirt. 

[incognito_man]

 

8 minutes ago, AlexGreen#20 said:

Semi-fashionable jeans and a company branded polo shirt. 

you missed the embroidery on my back pockets and the fact the polo shirt is at least 1.5 sizes too large

[MrBobGray]

You're all getting footballs because it's Friday and too late to be sober.  Treasure them well, they're the last footballs you'll ever get from me, you're all cut off.  Now if you'll excuse me, I must away.

Also, apropos of being on a football board in the burning wreckage of what had been a football thread, anyone else feel like Z had a real quiet 12.5 sack season?  Definitely wasn't quite as dominant as last year, but that's the consequence of your D coordinator hanging you all out to dry because eventually the opposing offense will tired from beating your nearly lifeless body.  Didn't it look so fun every time Rocky did it?  What are kidneys for anyway Rock?

EDIT #🤠- @Uffdaswede you spiteful harpy how dare you, you put that better looking Jon Hamm image back in your mind this instant.

Edited January 9, 2021 by MrBobGray
Sass

[Uffdaswede]

@MrBobGray 

I have read your Street Fighter/Guile/Akuma post several times. Like a Colossus over Jaire Alexandria, it straddles the Fox River dividing Ashwaubenon’s analogy from Allouez’s allegorical tale. The struggle between talent and scheme does seem epic this year. The Herculean Rodgers shooting flaming arrows, the special teams crab biting the hero’s foot, the defensive scheme allowing the head of the beast to grow back again and again, and Iolaus—the defensive talent—scorching the neck of the beast in every victory.

The legendary march into significance makes this year special. The writers pay tribute like a Greek chorus with their All-Pro voting. Henceforth I shall snarl “Guile!” at every 8 yard gain by our opponent on 3rd and 7. Henceforth I shall shout “Akuma!” at every Savage pick and every Zadarius TFL and every jaunty prance by Jaire celebrating a defended pass that has sliced away the life of another opponent’s drive!

 

[deathstar]

9 hours ago, MrBobGray said:

I had a realization yesterday about why I get so frustrated watching Pettine's defense this year.  To illustrate my point, let's turn to the magical world of competitive Street Fighter:

Pettine's defense is the football equivalent of Guile.  For those of you who grew up in loving homes, Guile sucks and is played primarily by sociopaths with a deep hunger for human misery.  He's a human wall of fireballs, just endlessly walking back and being a ****, over and over until the joy of the game is sucked from both of you, which is of course the only thing that brings Guile players the twisted emotion that to them resembles happiness.  Closing the gap on Guile is a long, awful test of patience, finding the spacing to jump in and move through, but not too close because otherwise you get Flash Kicked or crouching fierced and then YOU GET TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN WHICH IS JUST THE BEST.

**** Guile, is my point here.

But it's effective, because it puts all the stress on the other player.  They need to maintain their cool and not mess up over and over and over while you just need to remember how to charge a Sonic Boom.  It's a mental stress test, and it's surprisingly tough to pass, especially if you're playing a character built off momentum and emotion.  The Zangief/Guile match-up in most Street Fighters is generally sadder to watch than the opening ten minutes of Up, with the role of cancer here played by whichever human sack of misery picked Guile.  This is what Pettine wants to do.  He wants to force the other team to pick the sad, boring option (5 yard out ad infinitum) over and over and over, betting that their humanity will crack before their will.  And it works!  The Bears stuck to it with almost ridiculous patience and it barely paid off, if at all.  It helps that once you're in the red zone, there's not even a sad boring option because the field is too compressed to really get guys in space.  But really it's just about making the other team make mistakes.

Here's the thing though.  This is fine if you're playing Guile, because you picked Guile specifically to relish in this particular brand of ghoulish torment.  But the Packers defense, personnel-wise, isn't Guile.  It's Akuma, and we're talking SFIV Vortex Akuma too.  Since I know we're too deep into the nerdery now and I've lost most of you, I'll explain.  Akuma is just a big ole' bag jam-packed full of mechanics.  Pretty much nothing he can't do.  He can play keepaway for days, and almost as effectively as Guile.  The fireball spam can be as real as you can dream it.  But unlike Guile, because despite his appearance he has more of a soul than the void inside Guile and those who play him, Akuma can go in as hard as anyone in the game.  His aggressive pressure is crazy, and if he knocks you down once things can go very wrong very quick.  Man has about 14000 options for you on wake-up, and good luck guessing which one it's gonna be without mind reading.  Akuma's best play style is playing just defensive enough that there's no openings, and then obliterating you when you mess up because you tried to press a button because you thought video games were about fun, your first mistake.  

This particular brand of play is what we call "the Belichick method of defense", and it certainly requires either a genius defensive mind or a massive amount of talent.  The Packers sure don't have a genius defensive mind, but boy howdy look at this talent.  Top to bottom, this is probably the most talented Packers defense of Aaron Rodgers' career.  2010 had absolute monsters, but if we're talking overall depth and the full roster I'll give 2020 the edge.  Even more, there's a ton of interesting possibilities that the personnel bring to mind, because you have corners who can play on an island, safeties that can play basically any DB position, three edge who can play anywhere on the line for pressure, a top 5 defensive lineman in football who is dominant in both phases, etc.  This defense could be so many things, and watching Pettine force them to just back up and throw fireballs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, because "hey they'll mess up eventually probably!" is infuriating.  Gutekunst has given Pettine absolutely every tool he could possibly want, and in return Pettine built a defense that uses none of them at all.  

And all around the world Guile players bay and chitter in their nightmare voices in recognition of one of their own.

This post will never get the recognition it deserves.

[Joe]

4 hours ago, Uffdaswede said:

I had to run down to wardrobe and scream at all the peons to get busy putting a completely new outfit on my mental image of Mr. Bob Gray. Before, he had stepped off the set of Madmen.

Now he’s Gilfoyle. 

 

Almost went Kimberly Guilfoyle....

[MrBobGray]

3 hours ago, Uffdaswede said:

@MrBobGray 

I have read your Street Fighter/Guile/Akuma post several times. Like a Colossus over Jaire Alexandria, it straddles the Fox River dividing Ashwaubenon’s analogy from Allouez’s allegorical tale. The struggle between talent and scheme does seem epic this year. The Herculean Rodgers shooting flaming arrows, the special teams crab biting the hero’s foot, the defensive scheme allowing the head of the beast to grow back again and again, and Iolaus—the defensive talent—scorching the neck of the beast in every victory.

The legendary march into significance makes this year special. The writers pay tribute like a Greek chorus with their All-Pro voting. Henceforth I shall snarl “Guile!” at every 8 yard gain by our opponent on 3rd and 7. Henceforth I shall shout “Akuma!” at every Savage pick and every Zadarius TFL and every jaunty prance by Jaire celebrating a defended pass that has sliced away the life of another opponent’s drive!

 

This is proudest I've ever been at the effort I inspired in another, I can't wait to tell the kids

[persiandud]

On 1/8/2021 at 11:13 AM, MrBobGray said:

I had a realization yesterday about why I get so frustrated watching Pettine's defense this year.  To illustrate my point, let's turn to the magical world of competitive Street Fighter:

Pettine's defense is the football equivalent of Guile.  For those of you who grew up in loving homes, Guile sucks and is played primarily by sociopaths with a deep hunger for human misery.  He's a human wall of fireballs, just endlessly walking back and being a ****, over and over until the joy of the game is sucked from both of you, which is of course the only thing that brings Guile players the twisted emotion that to them resembles happiness.  Closing the gap on Guile is a long, awful test of patience, finding the spacing to jump in and move through, but not too close because otherwise you get Flash Kicked or crouching fierced and then YOU GET TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN WHICH IS JUST THE BEST.

**** Guile, is my point here.

But it's effective, because it puts all the stress on the other player.  They need to maintain their cool and not mess up over and over and over while you just need to remember how to charge a Sonic Boom.  It's a mental stress test, and it's surprisingly tough to pass, especially if you're playing a character built off momentum and emotion.  The Zangief/Guile match-up in most Street Fighters is generally sadder to watch than the opening ten minutes of Up, with the role of cancer here played by whichever human sack of misery picked Guile.  This is what Pettine wants to do.  He wants to force the other team to pick the sad, boring option (5 yard out ad infinitum) over and over and over, betting that their humanity will crack before their will.  And it works!  The Bears stuck to it with almost ridiculous patience and it barely paid off, if at all.  It helps that once you're in the red zone, there's not even a sad boring option because the field is too compressed to really get guys in space.  But really it's just about making the other team make mistakes.

Here's the thing though.  This is fine if you're playing Guile, because you picked Guile specifically to relish in this particular brand of ghoulish torment.  But the Packers defense, personnel-wise, isn't Guile.  It's Akuma, and we're talking SFIV Vortex Akuma too.  Since I know we're too deep into the nerdery now and I've lost most of you, I'll explain.  Akuma is just a big ole' bag jam-packed full of mechanics.  Pretty much nothing he can't do.  He can play keepaway for days, and almost as effectively as Guile.  The fireball spam can be as real as you can dream it.  But unlike Guile, because despite his appearance he has more of a soul than the void inside Guile and those who play him, Akuma can go in as hard as anyone in the game.  His aggressive pressure is crazy, and if he knocks you down once things can go very wrong very quick.  Man has about 14000 options for you on wake-up, and good luck guessing which one it's gonna be without mind reading.  Akuma's best play style is playing just defensive enough that there's no openings, and then obliterating you when you mess up because you tried to press a button because you thought video games were about fun, your first mistake.  

This particular brand of play is what we call "the Belichick method of defense", and it certainly requires either a genius defensive mind or a massive amount of talent.  The Packers sure don't have a genius defensive mind, but boy howdy look at this talent.  Top to bottom, this is probably the most talented Packers defense of Aaron Rodgers' career.  2010 had absolute monsters, but if we're talking overall depth and the full roster I'll give 2020 the edge.  Even more, there's a ton of interesting possibilities that the personnel bring to mind, because you have corners who can play on an island, safeties that can play basically any DB position, three edge who can play anywhere on the line for pressure, a top 5 defensive lineman in football who is dominant in both phases, etc.  This defense could be so many things, and watching Pettine force them to just back up and throw fireballs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, because "hey they'll mess up eventually probably!" is infuriating.  Gutekunst has given Pettine absolutely every tool he could possibly want, and in return Pettine built a defense that uses none of them at all.  

And all around the world Guile players bay and chitter in their nightmare voices in recognition of one of their own.

One of the greatest posts in this forums history  👏 

[ThatJerkDave]

On 1/8/2021 at 6:39 PM, MrBobGray said:

  Treasure them well, they're the last footballs you'll ever get from me, you're all cut off. 

 

On 1/8/2021 at 6:39 PM, MrBobGray said:

anyone else feel like Z had a real quiet 12.5 sack season?  Definitely wasn't quite as dominant as last year, but that's the consequence of your D coordinator hanging you all out to dry because eventually the opposing offense will tired from beating your nearly lifeless body.  Didn't it look so fun every time Rocky did it?  What are kidneys for anyway Rock?

Yes.  I was shocked a few weeks ago when I looked up the team stats and Z had about 10.  We had 41 sacks in 2019...  And 41 in 2020.  But it seems to me that we had a lot more in 2019 than 2020.  Perhaps it was because Preston and Z combined for 25.5 and Kenny Clark added 6 so we kept seeing the same guys? In 2019, 9 players had a sack on defense.  In 2020, that number increased to 14.  

Or maybe it is because the defense is different as a whole.  I seem to recall that the 2019 defense created a lot more turnovers, but gave up more big plays.  The 2019 defense would stop teams by getting an INT, or a 3rd down sack.  The 2020 defense seems to get a 3 and out, or dies by 1000 cuts.  A drive that ends on a big 3rd down stop because of a sack is more memorable than the 2020 version of: stuffed run, sack, give up 8 yards on 3rd and 14, punt.  We remember that Preston or Z or King saved the day.  And it is less memorable that we had a stuffed run, and two incompletions to get off the field in about a minute, but then the next drive takes 7 minutes off the clock.  Or I could very well just have those ideas stuck in my mind, and am completely wrong