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20 hours ago, Malfatron said:

Hedburg def in my top 5 comedians.

favorite or most under the radar Hedburg joke or bit?

 

Mine is:

Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

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20 hours ago, Malfatron said:

Hedburg def in my top 5 comedians.

favorite or most under the radar Hedburg joke or bit?

 

Mine is:

Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"

"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults," is the most underrated joke of his. My favorite is, "Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

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Mitch Hedberg is the king of one liners, for sure, but Bill Burr is the king of giving me a headache from the amount of times I can't breath from laughing. Hedberg, Burr, Williams and Carlin are on my personal Mount Rushmore. Tosh is like 50 Cent for me. He had a chance to be a GOAT at first but time showed how "talented" he truly was.

Chappelle, Rock, Pryor and Murphy are the others. Hell, eff it, I have an 8 man Mount Rushmore. Four is a weak number anyways.

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14 hours ago, beekay414 said:

"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults," is the most underrated joke of his. My favorite is, "Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down."

Anyone else read this in his voice?

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On 8/27/2021 at 11:02 PM, skywindO2 said:

What was your best random purchase during the pandemic? What was your weirdest?

If you could date any Disney princess, who would it be?

Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?

Best - powerwasher. Wanted to clean my brick walkway and house and got like 10 powerwashing jobs out of it. 

Weirdest - socks with my wife's best friend's face printed all over them. When her and her husband came over to hang out every weekend I'd wear them with shorts to annoy her. I later bought her husband a lot too. 

That's a hard one. Belle is smart and I'm huge on reading too but she'd probably be a crazy feminist in today's world. Tiana can cook real southern food, and I'm a massive fan of that. Moana means I'm living in a tropical paradise. Jasmine means I'm the sultan but she would prefer to do the ruling - I'd prefer that too - so I'll go with her. 

I love the idea of straight starching a giant duck in the beak. Plus look at all the meat after it. 

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45 minutes ago, Sugashane said:

That's a hard one. Belle is smart and I'm huge on reading too but she'd probably be a crazy feminist in today's world. Tiana can cook real southern food, and I'm a massive fan of that. Moana means I'm living in a tropical paradise. Jasmine means I'm the sultan but she would prefer to do the ruling - I'd prefer that too - so I'll go with her.

Yeah, that’s why you’d marry Jasmine…

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Just wanted to add my best/weirdest pandemic purchase was a bidet attachment for my toilet. It's been life changing.

The first time I used it was like 

Hugh Jackman Reaction GIF

I've never been a fan of doing my business in public bathrooms but the lack of a bidet is even further reason to avoid doing it.

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