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Children; how many and how is it going?


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21 hours ago, Gmen said:

What are the odds of that happening twice, let alone three times??  I feel like the best option at this point is to just have a scheduled c-section.

Wife and I had our first child a month and a half ago.  The first few weeks were tough because there was lots of crying, without any rhyme or reason.  Last few weeks have been better.  She's adorable without even doing anything interesting.  I never imagined I'd think farts are cute, but here we are.  I don't want to wish time away, but I look forward to the days when we can take walks, and bike rides, and forage berries and mushrooms.

My wife and I are in silent agreement that eventually we'll want another one, although it's too early to talk about.

 

Whoa hold on, Gmen is married with kids now? When the hell did that happen??

I just got married about 6 months ago, and I'm in my mid-20s. We also both started our careers relatively recently, so we finally started making real money. We are looking forward to enjoying married, post-COVID life for a while before having kids.

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2 hours ago, minutemancl said:

Whoa hold on, Gmen is married with kids now? When the hell did that happen??

I just got married about 6 months ago, and I'm in my mid-20s. We also both started our careers relatively recently, so we finally started making real money. We are looking forward to enjoying married, post-COVID life for a while before having kids.

Haha, yea we dated for two years, got married last April and started trying for a baby right away.  I'm in my early thirties, steady job and house, so it was the logical next step in life. 

In your mid twenties you still have time.  No need to rush. 

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It's pretty simple to me. If you don't want kids, don't have them. We already have a major societal issue with this, so please don't add to it. Not everyone should have a kid, even if they'd be decent parents. That said, if you do, be a great one.

Each of our 3 kids was a single decision about whether or not we would/should have one, and 3 days after having #3, I booked my appointment to get snipped, and I'd do it again.

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I'm 34 and have 2 girls (4 year old and 16 month old). Wife and I had kids later than we anticipated, as we eventually found out we would require IVF to conceive (due to myself having a rare gene mutation of my vas deferens (due to carrying this cerebral palsy gene mutation, but not having the disease itself). We had to do al kinds of testing to make sure I a] carried sperm b] it was viable and c] had to be extracted

It was somewhat of a burden financially ((almost $35K total - that's with IVF working the 1st time on both kids) and time wise for the process, so we had to push our timeline back a few years. 

Wouldn't trade it for the world though. Made my wife and I closer than ever and we now have two beautiful healthy children who light up our lives like we never imagined. 

We're actually talking about possibly trying another round for kid number 3 (we have 3 high grade embryos still) soon, but we're undecided currently.  

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Oldest is 24.  She's a 3rd grade teacher.

My son is 21.  He's graduating college in May. Has a great job lined up.

My youngest is 17. She's a junior in HS.

 

Goes by in an instant. Don't take the young years for granted!

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I’m 32 YOA and have 3 boys, 5 and under. Wouldn’t trade them for anything. Most of the time. 

My one year-old basically goes from smiling at me and being silly to screaming and banging on my bathroom door when I try to do my business. 

The almost 4-year old is super ornery but is the most passionate and competitive kid I know to a fault. He’s tough to parent. He really doesn’t listen to me 75% of the time. 

The oldest is the sweetest and most tender hearted kid I could imagine. He has his own set of challenges though. Each of ours honestly just have different types of challenges. 

Kids are a blessing. They deserve good parents though, that will prioritize them. So for those that choose to go that route, buckle up, put your kids first (along with your significant other) and be a good father. If you aren’t willing to do what’s best with everything that could come, you aren’t ready.

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Just one 17 year old son. He's quiet but confident in who he is. Doesn't take crap from me or his friends. He is a video game nut and prefers to stay inside due to covid. 

Time went by so fast. He's almost 18. That's how I old I was when I started dating his mom. When I started here on FF he was only 2 years old. 

Edited by TENINCH
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On 3/30/2021 at 9:54 PM, TENINCH said:

Just one 17 year old son. He's quiet but confident in who he is. Doesn't take crap from me or his friends. He is a video game nut and prefers to stay inside due to covid. 

Time went by so fast. He's almost 18. That's when I started dating his mom. When I started here on FF he was 2 years old. 

I was rocking my little guy (18 months) last night, and was suddenly filled with sadness knowing those moments were going to end one day.

I obviously want my son to grow up to be a good man, but I really cherish what we have right now. It's going to be a different vibe when he becomes a smelly teenager, then he'll be a grown man and we'll be having a few brews at the bar together. So many fulfilling moments to come, and yet I still get hung up on him getting older and not needing his dad to console him. 

Damn, I've changed a lot over the past 10 years or so. I used be so much more selfish. I wanted to go to the bars, hook up with women, neglected hanging out with family to hang out with friends, etc...now, a majority of those friends are AWOL and family is everything to me.

Having a kid really changed my perspective on life, and it makes me sad I grew apart from my mom as many of us do as we get older, especially boys, but I know how much she probably missed me being her little guy who would turn to her for issues and showed her so much love.

I see how much my wife loves my son and it makes me so happy, then I think that's how my mom and I interacted. The bond between a mother and her young son is truly a beautiful thing. 

No matter what happens between me and my wife in our relationship- I hope my son doesn't grow apart from her like I did with mine, but I also know we all reach that age where we want independence and resentment can grow when our parents don't allow us the freedom we crave...

Edited by WizeGuy
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16 hours ago, carl_sjunior said:

My wife and I want to have two kids. We're officially 'trying'. We have names picked out. 

I'm 31.

Same boat but I'm 34. 

I don't know how long some of you had to wait. We were in the "let's just see what happens" phase since summer. No goalie or anything. Since December it's on to penalty kicks with no goalie. It's kind of frustrating when you try and learn about how to best increase your chances and how much of a cluster you know what it really is to make it happen. 

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1 hour ago, WizeGuy said:

I was rocking my little guy (18 months) last night, and was suddenly filled with sadness knowing those moments were going to end one day.

I obviously want my son to grow up to be a good man, but I really cherish what we have right now. It's going to be a different vibe when he becomes a smelly teenager, then he'll be a grown man and we'll be having a few brews at the bar together. So many fulfilling moments to come, and yet I still get hung up on him getting older and not needing his dad to console him. 

Damn, I've changed a lot over the past 10 years or so. I used be so much more selfish. I wanted to go to the bars, hook up with women, neglected hanging out with family to hang out with friends, etc...now, a majority of those friends are AWOL and family is everything to me.

Having a kid really changed my perspective on life, and it makes me sad I grew apart from my mom as many of us do as we get older, especially boys, but I know how much she probably missed me being her little guy who would turn to her for issues and showed her so much love.

I see how much my wife loves my son and it makes me so happy, then I think that's how my mom and I interacted. The bond between a mother and her young son is truly a beautiful thing. 

No matter what happens between me and my wife in our relationship- I hope my son doesn't grow apart from her like I did with mine, but I also know we all reach that age where we want independence and resentment can grow when our parents don't allow us the freedom we crave...

Yeah the time goes by soooooo fast. It's like you turn around one day and your little boy is almost a man. I always wanted to see how he'd be as a young man but then I'd get to push a magic button and he'd be young again.

I've always taught my son to always respect and care for his mother. That between both parents she is number 1. Which is funny because just like you I've grown apart from my mom. I see her once or twice a year and she's only an hour away. I haven't see my real dad since 2008 or 2009. Nothing personal he just living in the middle of nowhere Montana. We communicate through FB though.

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Recent dad. Baby boy is 5 weeks old. As other's have said, this has been one of the most amazing yet frustrating experiences of my life lol. Definitely cherishing everyone second of it though, as I've been told multiple times, it goes by super fast. One thing I will say, in 31 years of living, I never truly understood or appreciated all my parents went through as first time parents raising me. There is just so much involved in it. And it's nearly impossible to verbalize or explain to your child, so you grow up not fully recognizing all that they did for you and how much they loved you growing up. Really makes you feel crappy about the times you were ever rude or a jerk to them. New found respect for all parents, for sure.

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1 hour ago, RavensTillIDie said:

Recent dad. Baby boy is 5 weeks old. As other's have said, this has been one of the most amazing yet frustrating experiences of my life lol. Definitely cherishing everyone second of it though, as I've been told multiple times, it goes by super fast. One thing I will say, in 31 years of living, I never truly understood or appreciated all my parents went through as first time parents raising me. There is just so much involved in it. And it's nearly impossible to verbalize or explain to your child, so you grow up not fully recognizing all that they did for you and how much they loved you growing up. Really makes you feel crappy about the times you were ever rude or a jerk to them. New found respect for all parents, for sure.

Keep that frame of mind when they're 3 yo and mouthy as h3ll

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Have a two year old, here in a few months will have a three year old plus a newborn.

Both girls and I love that.

Parenting is probably my biggest passion. I spend a ton of time reading anything I can find about different perspectives.

For those that say they don't want kids - my go-to analogy is that it's like video games:

The level you're on is fun and what you know. Parenting is the next level and you can see us playing the level and struggling and failing, and this level looks like hell to you. But what you can't possibly know is how rewarding it is. In fact, the level prior to parenting, in hindsight, has no reward. It's like playing a tutorial.

For those that are having kids I highly recommend parenting classes. My wife did a baby care basics class and a one day birthing workshop - after the baby care basics I was able to care for my newborn without my wife from day one which was really important to me. Allowed me to bond with my daughter and let my wife sleep and recover.

 

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On 3/31/2021 at 4:36 PM, carl_sjunior said:

My wife and I want to have two kids. We're officially 'trying'. We have names picked out. 

I'm 31.

LOL same. Wife and I want to name after family members. One of my favorite names she picked was for my uncle Sylvain.

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