Children; how many and how is it going?

[WizardHawk]

5. It can be trying.

I never....EEEEEVER...complain about my job with my wife present. Never ever.  lol

[Ataal]

On 3/28/2021 at 12:56 PM, pwny said:

Zero. I've been told my whole life that I'd grow out of being a selfish jerk who doesn't want kids. We're now a month out from 33 and still absolutely no desire to have a kid. I'm starting to think that everyone who told me it'd change was wrong.

I'm 43, and the older I get, the more I don't want to have kids.  I still have people telling me, "it's not too late!" and "you'll change your mind!"  Most of the people I know with kids had them on accident, so I don't know why they feel the need to tell me I'll change my mind some day.  lol

Also, I will never understand the selfish argument.  Doesn't selfish imply you choose yourself over someone else?  How can I choose myself over someone who doesn't, and will never, exist?  Just comes off as an ad hominem attack for no reason.

To you parents out there, I don't know how you do it, but most of you seem pretty happy to be parents.  So, I'm happy for you. 

[MWil23]

4 hours ago, Ataal said:

Also, I will never understand the selfish argument.  Doesn't selfish imply you choose yourself over someone else?  How can I choose myself over someone who doesn't, and will never, exist?  Just comes off as an ad hominem attack for no reason.

I agree completely. If you were a father and had this mentality, then you would be selfish. If you choose not to have kids because that’s not what you desire, that’s mature and also great. 

After losing a parent, having that type of relationship is what I needed and wanted, and I can’t imagine my life any other way anymore. But it has come with a cost to my own personal time, priorities, etc., and I’m great with that, but many are not.

[Heimdallr]

7 hours ago, Ataal said:

Also, I will never understand the selfish argument.  Doesn't selfish imply you choose yourself over someone else?  How can I choose myself over someone who doesn't, and will never, exist?  Just comes off as an ad hominem attack for no reason.

Anyone who says not having kids is "selfish" is just miserable with their life and jealous of the relative freedom that childless people have. It makes no sense.

Each additional human on the planet has a massive environmental and economical impact. Choosing to add another child to the population when there are already millions of starving or unwanted children already in the world, just because you want them to look like you, is  more selfish. Obviously that is an oversimplification, but the point stands. 

If I'm really thinking about the most positive impact for humanity, I would say not procreating is the obvious choice. 

I'm not saying having kids is a bad thing, and people that want that obviously should, but not having kids is an equally valid choice. 

[ET80]

7 hours ago, Heimdallr said:

I'm not saying having kids is a bad thing, and people that want that obviously should, but not having kids is an equally valid choice. 

And you'll never hear me say otherwise - growing up, I always wanted kids of my own. I knew that was my path in life and when it came, I dove in feet first and am having the time of my life with it. No joke, no lie - live with kids has been so much more fun and fulfilling than life without kids for me.

For those who don't want kids, that's fantastic - kids are not easy. If you're not into that for whatever reason, thumbs up to you. Live your life, don't let others' ruin your viewpoint.

[vike daddy]

i have two sons, Thor and Loki. always bickering. thinking about banishing both of them.

[ET80]

32 minutes ago, vike daddy said:

i have two sons, Thor and Loki. always bickering. thinking about banishing both of them.

Hmm, I just called 'em Odinson...

[PARROTHEAD]

3 hours ago, vike daddy said:

i have two sons, Thor and Loki. always bickering. thinking about banishing both of them.

Weird. A neighbors son has 2 dogs with the exact same names.

[PARROTHEAD]

So took the little one to the neighborhood spring gathering.

Shes 3. Birthday party coming up. And this elderly lady was asking her about it. Little one is like, "Its all mermaids." So the woman asked her about the mermaids. So she replies. "They have tails. And have belly buttons. And long hair." The woman asked what else they had. So she thinks for a moment and says, "They have like mommy has." The woman replies, "Whats that?" So she walks up to her and starts patting her on the boobs sayin, "Like these."  Everybody bursting out laughing. Old lady had to take a seat quick she was laughin so hard. Little one standing there lookin confused like, "I missed something here. What just happened?"

[Gmen]

On 5/20/2021 at 4:51 PM, Ataal said:

I'm 43, and the older I get, the more I don't want to have kids.  I still have people telling me, "it's not too late!" and "you'll change your mind!"  Most of the people I know with kids had them on accident, so I don't know why they feel the need to tell me I'll change my mind some day.  lol

Also, I will never understand the selfish argument.  Doesn't selfish imply you choose yourself over someone else?  How can I choose myself over someone who doesn't, and will never, exist?  Just comes off as an ad hominem attack for no reason.

To you parents out there, I don't know how you do it, but most of you seem pretty happy to be parents.  So, I'm happy for you. 

I think a lot depends on your personality and lifestyle.  I can totally see situations where a child would be a burden.  If you're super active, outgoing, well traveled, a kid can hold you back.  It's hard to go on vacation when you have a baby.  Heck, it's even hard to go out for dinner.

I have a 3 month old.  I absolutely love her and would have her 100 times over again.  But it's becoming apparent to me that we won't be able to take a vacation this year, because it's just not going to be enjoyable with her.  She would just take up too much time and attention, not to mention the fussiness.  On top of that, I'm still working from home, so I feel a bit cooped up.  The only time I go out nowadays is to take a bike ride.  I will eventually get some freedom back as she grows and requires less maintenance.  But in the meantime, it's a sacrifice. 

But I consider myself an introvert.  I imagine this lifestyle would be way more difficult for an extrovert, and maybe that's not a sacrifice you're willing to make.  I get it.

[Ataal]

1 hour ago, Gmen said:

I think a lot depends on your personality and lifestyle.  I can totally see situations where a child would be a burden.  If you're super active, outgoing, well traveled, a kid can hold you back.  It's hard to go on vacation when you have a baby.  Heck, it's even hard to go out for dinner.

I have a 3 month old.  I absolutely love her and would have her 100 times over again.  But it's becoming apparent to me that we won't be able to take a vacation this year, because it's just not going to be enjoyable with her.  She would just take up too much time and attention, not to mention the fussiness.  On top of that, I'm still working from home, so I feel a bit cooped up.  The only time I go out nowadays is to take a bike ride.  I will eventually get some freedom back as she grows and requires less maintenance.  But in the meantime, it's a sacrifice. 

But I consider myself an introvert.  I imagine this lifestyle would be way more difficult for an extrovert, and maybe that's not a sacrifice you're willing to make.  I get it.

I am very much an introvert.  I require a lot of alone time.  Something you don't get much of when you have a kid.  I also can't handle loud noises or funky smells.  A loud, abrupt noise feels like getting an electric shock and my heart rate goes through the roof.  I just wasn't meant to have kids.  lol  

[PARROTHEAD]

6 minutes ago, Ataal said:

I am very much an introvert.  I require a lot of alone time.  Something you don't get much of when you have a kid.  I also can't handle loud noises or funky smells.  A loud, abrupt noise feels like getting an electric shock and my heart rate goes through the roof.  I just wasn't meant to have kids.  lol  

Every parent has that heart rate spike with a sudden noise. It even fine tunes as a parent. To where you can judge by the sound how expensive that noise was when breaking.

[ET80]

1 hour ago, PARROTHEAD said:

Every parent has that heart rate spike with a sudden noise. It even fine tunes as a parent. To where you can judge by the sound how expensive that noise was when breaking.

I can pick out my kids' specific yell/scream in a crowd with goodness knows how many kids screaming/yelling at various volumes. Literally every other child screaming is white noise - my kid screams, I'm immediately identifying them in the crowd, like a Google Maps car.

I could be browsing on my phone and talking to my wife... Then I hear a "daaaaaaaady!!!!!!!" in a specific tone and pitch, and then I'm diving in head first into a ball pit and yanking the daughter out like I was a lifeguard on Baywatch.

[MWil23]

15 hours ago, ET80 said:

I can pick out my kids' specific yell/scream in a crowd with goodness knows how many kids screaming/yelling at various volumes. Literally every other child screaming is white noise - my kid screams, I'm immediately identifying them in the crowd, like a Google Maps car.

I could be browsing on my phone and talking to my wife... Then I hear a "daaaaaaaady!!!!!!!" in a specific tone and pitch, and then I'm diving in head first into a ball pit and yanking the daughter out like I was a lifeguard on Baywatch.

My wife has made many a comment to me about "daddy sense", and it's 100% a thing.

The one with the runaway rolling car is one of my most relatable.