Newborn Baby Questions

[NcFinest9erFan]

On 4/5/2021 at 11:54 AM, RavensTillIDie said:

Didn't really see this thread around, so I thought I would create it myself as a new first time dad. I know we have a lot of dads on FF, so seems like a great a place as any to get advice.

Baby boy is now 5 weeks old and he's doing great, and I've learned a lot already in that short period of time. However, one thing I'm trying to figure out is when/how to get him to sleep through the night. How long did it take to get your little ones to sleep through the night and what are some tips/tricks you would recommend for expediting this process?

Our first kid didn't sleep through out the night till he was little over a year old. Although that was probably our fault as we had him sleep in our bed and it was a tough transition for him to the crib. 

Our second kid started sleeping through the night at 6 months or so but we had to sleep train him.

Kudos to my wife.

[bucsfan333]

Have you tried trading him for a baby that sleeps through the night?

[BayRaider]

1 hour ago, bucsfan333 said:

Have you tried trading him for a baby that sleeps through the night?

Would probably have to include a 2nd Rounder to offset it. 

[Mega Ron]

On 4/5/2021 at 4:54 PM, RavensTillIDie said:

Didn't really see this thread around, so I thought I would create it myself as a new first time dad. I know we have a lot of dads on FF, so seems like a great a place as any to get advice.

Baby boy is now 5 weeks old and he's doing great, and I've learned a lot already in that short period of time. However, one thing I'm trying to figure out is when/how to get him to sleep through the night. How long did it take to get your little ones to sleep through the night and what are some tips/tricks you would recommend for expediting this process?

You need to (both) learn to hear them cry and not immediately rush to them when they are down.

[Mega Ron]

Ours were like this.

Baby girl. Slept through the night from day 1. We almost never had her wake us up. She was formula fed from the start.

Baby boy 1. Took us 12 weeks to get the little sod to eat/drink enough to see him through a good sleep.

Baby boy 2. Same again with the 12 weeks. He's a bigger boy so needed what seemed to be gallons of milk.

[kgarrett12486]

22 hours ago, RavensTillIDie said:

Great advice so far. Really appreciate it.

 

Right now our little guy wakes up in the middle of the night and starts crying wildly because he's hungry. And obviously we feed him and go back to bed. So the routine right now has been:

-Feed him a big bottle around 9:30 pm
-Get him ready for bed ~10 pm (change him, put him in his swaddle/sleep sack, read him a book, put him in his crib, turn down the lights and turn on the Hatch (white noise machine - but we play rain sounds at night))
-Let him sleep for 3-4 hours
-When he wakes up, feed him another big bottle
-Let him sleep for 3-4 hours

So, would it be a good idea to start slowly decreasing the amount we give him in that feeding during the middle of the night and eventually stop giving it to him all together?

Honestly, you're probably going to be going through sleep pattern/length they sleep changes until he can start getting some solid food into his system before bed. That was always my experience with my two kids.

Also, even when they do start being able to sleep through the night because they stay full and their brain activity/growth has more normalized, something simple like a cold can throw it all out of whack again for the 1st 12 months. 

Welcome to parenthood!

[vike daddy]

no matter what problems you have with newborns and adjusting your life to the changes you face, don't worry about it because it really all calms down in about 25 years....

[bucsfan333]

My first never slept through the night. I was quite unhappy about it.

My second did. And it was such a relief.

 

Don't let them take naps in the evening. Keep them interacting until around when you're ready to sleep. Every minute your sleep schedules align, the better off you'll be.

[FrantikRam]

On 4/8/2021 at 3:42 PM, RavensTillIDie said:

Great advice so far. Really appreciate it.

 

Right now our little guy wakes up in the middle of the night and starts crying wildly because he's hungry. And obviously we feed him and go back to bed. So the routine right now has been:

-Feed him a big bottle around 9:30 pm
-Get him ready for bed ~10 pm (change him, put him in his swaddle/sleep sack, read him a book, put him in his crib, turn down the lights and turn on the Hatch (white noise machine - but we play rain sounds at night))
-Let him sleep for 3-4 hours
-When he wakes up, feed him another big bottle
-Let him sleep for 3-4 hours

So, would it be a good idea to start slowly decreasing the amount we give him in that feeding during the middle of the night and eventually stop giving it to him all together?

 

Sounds like you're mostly doing the right things. As someone mentioned, check with your pediatrician when you can stop doing the night feedings. When you can stop that, that's the only time they can actually sleep through the night.

A few tips for your current situation:

First, is your wife breast feeding? I ask because when you exclusively bottle feed, you always know how much they're eating and makes this process much easier. My daughter didn't latch, so we did a mix of breast milk and formula. My daughter slept through the night from day one (we had to wake her up to eat) and I think this is a big reason why.

Second, even when they are sleeping, these night feedings are the primary cause of sleep deprivation. Once you have the amount established, next is your routine, which leads me to something I did that I would recommend everyone do: I took six weeks off work. I originally planned on four, but my mother in law passed away so extended it to help take care of my daughter (and wife).

Most men think this is impossible, but FMLA is federal - some employers might not even realize that they have to allow this - but you can get up to twelve weeks off for a newborn. Most people wouldn't because it's unpaid, but taking four weeks off is not going to financially impact you in the way you might think. And it's important for two reasons:

First, sleep - I cannot wake up and go back to sleep very successfully - my wife cannot stay up late. So we leveraged those strengths and I stayed up until midnight to do the first feeding, my wife woke up at 3am for the second, and then I woke up with her around 6-7am and let my wife sleep as long as she could.

Second, you get to be involved. The parenting is 50/50 which will pay off down the line. A lot of people just say kids demand Mom because of some magic bond - but truth is, Mom is there from day one and Dad is only part time in most cases. Nothing will frustrate you more than not being able to console your toddler when she hurts herself because she only wants Mom.

 

 

For the future - I would recommend bringing the bedtime closer to 8pm. Doesn't matter much right now, but when it comes to sleep, you want to stay as consistent as possible, and between 8-9 is the ideal bedtime for a toddler (some articles actually say 7:30 but that's too early for me). This depends on your work situations so you may have a good reason for doing 9:30, but I'd change if possible.

Also - arguably the most critical thing for sleeping - is making them put themselves to sleep. You always want to put them in the crib when they're awake. Sounds like you're already doing that, but wanted to mention it anyways. A lot of parents struggle with this, it's very tempting to rock a baby until they fall asleep. You basically want to wax on/wax off these things now so that when the true challenge starts, these are built in habits that your kid has to fight.

 

I'm pretty sure we stopped night feedings at either 4 or 6 weeks - she was getting enough during her waking hours.

[vike daddy]

@FrantikRam is one smart parent dude....

[ET80]

14 hours ago, FrantikRam said:

 

Sounds like you're mostly doing the right things. As someone mentioned, check with your pediatrician when you can stop doing the night feedings. When you can stop that, that's the only time they can actually sleep through the night.

A few tips for your current situation:

First, is your wife breast feeding? I ask because when you exclusively bottle feed, you always know how much they're eating and makes this process much easier. My daughter didn't latch, so we did a mix of breast milk and formula. My daughter slept through the night from day one (we had to wake her up to eat) and I think this is a big reason why.

Second, even when they are sleeping, these night feedings are the primary cause of sleep deprivation. Once you have the amount established, next is your routine, which leads me to something I did that I would recommend everyone do: I took six weeks off work. I originally planned on four, but my mother in law passed away so extended it to help take care of my daughter (and wife).

Most men think this is impossible, but FMLA is federal - some employers might not even realize that they have to allow this - but you can get up to twelve weeks off for a newborn. Most people wouldn't because it's unpaid, but taking four weeks off is not going to financially impact you in the way you might think. And it's important for two reasons:

First, sleep - I cannot wake up and go back to sleep very successfully - my wife cannot stay up late. So we leveraged those strengths and I stayed up until midnight to do the first feeding, my wife woke up at 3am for the second, and then I woke up with her around 6-7am and let my wife sleep as long as she could.

Second, you get to be involved. The parenting is 50/50 which will pay off down the line. A lot of people just say kids demand Mom because of some magic bond - but truth is, Mom is there from day one and Dad is only part time in most cases. Nothing will frustrate you more than not being able to console your toddler when she hurts herself because she only wants Mom.

 

 

For the future - I would recommend bringing the bedtime closer to 8pm. Doesn't matter much right now, but when it comes to sleep, you want to stay as consistent as possible, and between 8-9 is the ideal bedtime for a toddler (some articles actually say 7:30 but that's too early for me). This depends on your work situations so you may have a good reason for doing 9:30, but I'd change if possible.

Also - arguably the most critical thing for sleeping - is making them put themselves to sleep. You always want to put them in the crib when they're awake. Sounds like you're already doing that, but wanted to mention it anyways. A lot of parents struggle with this, it's very tempting to rock a baby until they fall asleep. You basically want to wax on/wax off these things now so that when the true challenge starts, these are built in habits that your kid has to fight.

 

I'm pretty sure we stopped night feedings at either 4 or 6 weeks - she was getting enough during her waking hours.

Yeah - @RavensTillIDie, this is the best advice you're going to get on this matter.