ramssuperbowl99 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 13 minutes ago, MWil23 said: Context matters. Tone matters. Nonverbals matter. I legitimately wonder how anyone who is willing to die on the hill that "I don't care" isn't offensive survives in an office environment. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matts4313 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 1 minute ago, pwny said: I mean it's not. I said something that you took offense to even though I didn't intend to cause harm. I was just playing up a joke and having fun amongst a bunch of semi-close knit. You were hurt by it. It wasn't my intent. Other people played into it because they didn't think it was offensive either. I ran it by someone else and they thought it was okay to post, because they were literally the one who posted it in the thread. Nobody said it intending to be harmful. Nobody was going out of their way to be a jerk to you, but you still got hurt. It was still harmful, even if I didn't think it was. REGARDLESS OF SCALE OR ANYTHING ELSE these are the same concept. If you do something that someone finds harmful, you don't go defending your own honor or telling people that really you are a good person and really do care about things. You just admit you were wrong, apologize if the mistake warrants an apology, and commit to doing better. This is really simple stuff. Agree to disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrenaline_Flux Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 1 minute ago, Matts4313 said: That was not what GSU said. He had a full sentence with a complete thought. Picking individual words or sentences out of an idea is the most disingenuous way to have a conversation on the internet. For example, if I did that to you: >and saying "I don't care" does that? lol turns into >saying "I don't care" does that See how that is lame and should never be done? saying "I don't care you're gay" does that?* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSUeagles14 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 7 minutes ago, Malfatron said: "You're a great friend and I love you." Ok, I thought it was obvious but in hindsight I can see not. I wouldn’t say that to my friend out of the blue, so hypothetically here’s what prompted it. Friend: youve never treated me different because I’m gay, whys that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LETSGOBROWNIES Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 1 minute ago, GSUeagles14 said: What do you want me to do, have people call you that I already said would be offended by this very debate? No, he’s asking you to provide a third party example that isn’t an anecdote or the opinion of a single person you’re friends with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MWil23 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 2 minutes ago, ramssuperbowl99 said: I legitimately wonder how anyone who is willing to die on the hill that "I don't care" isn't offensive survives in an office environment. An office environment? It was a running joke on our football staff that the phrase “I don’t care” triggered a 10 minute rant from our previous head coach. It was hysterical. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matts4313 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Just now, Adrenaline_Flux said: saying "I don't care you're gay" does that?* Thats also not what GSU said. Again - he said a full sentence and a complete thought. Its right there written for all of us to see. There is no reason for you to spin it or exclude words. There is no reason to change intent or make it politically incorrect. Look at the words and read them verbatim and wholly: ”I don’t care that you’re gay man, you’re a great friend and I love you for it” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matts4313 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said: No, he’s asking you to provide a third party example that isn’t an anecdote or the opinion of a single person you’re friends with. @TENINCH's brother, @JonStark's sister in law and @GSUeagles14's homie. Boom, I just gave you 3 examples of people I have no relationship with. That was 100% of the people I surveyed. As it was an official survey, it is not anecdotal. (trying to insert some humor). Edited June 23, 2021 by Matts4313 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 4 minutes ago, GSUeagles14 said: Ok, I thought it was obvious but in hindsight I can see not. I wouldn’t say that to my friend out of the blue, so hypothetically here’s what prompted it. Friend: youve never treated me different because I’m gay, whys that? "because you're a great friend and I love you." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrenaline_Flux Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Just now, Matts4313 said: Thats also not what GSU said. Again - he said a full sentence and a complete thought. Its right there written for all of us to see. There is no reason for you to spin it or exclude words. There is no reason to change intent or make it politically incorrect. Look at the words and read them verbatim and wholly: ”I don’t care that you’re gay man, you’re a great friend and I love you for it” the issue is two things. 1) why does he need to say "I don't care that you're gay" instead of saying supportive language and 2) that's a completely different context when comparing saying something like that to someone he knows to saying "I don't care" in a thread about someone coming out as gay in a profession that has a history of homophobic culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramssuperbowl99 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Just now, MWil23 said: An office environment? It was a running joke on our football staff that the phrase “I don’t care” triggered a 10 minute rant from our previous head coach. It was hysterical. How about "just anywhere as an adult"? The amount of damage people are can do to their personal relationships, career, etc. by inadvertently pissing someone off is staggering. Even serial killers learn to fake it. I mean dear lord. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrenaline_Flux Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Just now, Malfatron said: "because you're a great friend and I love you." okay but then how would his friend know that he doesn't care 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDrew Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 It interesting how people are going out of their way to prove they care so that they can say that they don't, instead of just realizing that there's a better way to portray that somebody being gay doesn't change any feeling/opinions about them. I'll go back to the grandma example I used earlier, and this is how it would go in this situation Person 1: Can you watch your language around my grandma. Shes doesn't like cussing. Person 2: My grandma is cool with it, so I'm just going to talk the way I would around her. Person 1: That's not really cool. It upsets her, and her friends that are there. Person 2: I told you my grandma is cool with it, and so is her friend, so I'm not changing anything. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSUeagles14 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 2 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said: No, he’s asking you to provide a third party example that isn’t an anecdote or the opinion of a single person you’re friends with. See but that would pretend that just because there’s no published study on something that it doesn’t exist or not a valid feeling. It’s the worst form of an argument. “Agree with me or show me a study to show me I’m wrong” especially given the topic what talking about, individual peoples personalities and preferences. there’s a chance that something exists, but I won’t waste a second looking for it. Is astonishing that some would think that’s a good thought line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MWil23 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Just now, ramssuperbowl99 said: How about "just anywhere as an adult"? The amount of damage people are can do to their personal relationships, career, etc. by inadvertently pissing someone off is staggering. Even serial killers learn to fake it. I mean dear lord. After several arguments early on boiling down to miscommunication, I eventually learned to differentiate with my wife “I don’t have a preference.” I learned that I “did care” about our wedding invitations, but that I didn’t have a preference. This may or may not have been an actual argument and something my wife told me at the time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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