Raiders DE Carl Nassib announces he's gay

[MWil23]

45 minutes ago, Dome said:

2-3 years ago, someone saying “I identify with the queer community” would get a student sent to the office?

Yes, 100% without a doubt. The issue with bullying/harassment is that sometimes, people are jerks and that would have been perceived as a slur and to be honest, perhaps a student trying to get a reaction. 

To put things into perspective on the times, 7 years ago cyber bullying wasn’t even “a thing”.

47 minutes ago, Dome said:

You’re a teacher, I’m sure standard are constantly changing for how you need to handle different situations like this. Is it really that exhausting? I’m keeping up just fine, lots of people are.

I’m not sure how to dignify this question with a response. I’m not being a jerk. I teach 5 preps, coach a sport, pull 67 hours on average a week (the last 5 years), and with social media, smart phones, etc, there’s not an “off time”. I’m indifferent to celebrities, not the needs of my students and athletes. I’ve had 5 kids in the last 13 months die by their own hand. When I say it’s exhausting, it’s physically and mentally draining when we aren’t giving our kids adequate support and resources. The LBGTQ+ community is merely one part of the group and demographic I’m able to reach on a daily basis. I’m overworked, they’re in need of other supports we can’t give, and I am not going to stop loving them, working my *** off to help them, and learn from whatever failures I’m sure to have, because I can’t do it all. Education is broken, and when we are given mixed messages on having to pass levies and raise report card scores academically while simultaneously putting students needs first (and I’m sorry but that’s NOT academics), you’ll forgive me for being exhausted and jaded here. 

[Matts4313]

For the record, because I dont like liars, I havent said a bunch of that. Carry on. 

Edited June 24, 2021 by Matts4313

[Matts4313]

2 minutes ago, MWil23 said:

Yes, 100% without a doubt. The issue with bullying/harassment is that sometimes, people are jerks and that would have been perceived as a slur and to be honest, perhaps a student trying to get a reaction. 

To put things into perspective on the times, 7 years ago cyber bullying wasn’t even “a thing”.

I’m not sure how to dignify this question with a response. I’m not being a jerk. I teach 5 preps, coach a sport, pull 67 hours on average a week (the last 5 years), and with social media, smart phones, etc, there’s not an “off time”. I’m indifferent to celebrities, not the needs of my students and athletes. I’ve had 5 kids in the last 13 months die by their own hand. When I say it’s exhausting, it’s physically and mentally draining when we aren’t giving our kids adequate support and resources. The LBGTQ+ community is merely one part of the group and demographic I’m able to reach on a daily basis. I’m overworked, they’re in need of other supports we can’t give, and I am not going to stop loving them, working my *** off to help them, and learn from whatever failures I’m sure to have, because I can’t do it all. Education is broken, and when we are given mixed messages on having to pass levies and raise report card scores academically while simultaneously putting students needs first (and I’m sorry but that’s NOT academics), you’ll forgive me for being exhausted and jaded here. 

Appreciate your efforts and what you do for the kiddos. 5 suicides in 13 months is horrifying. 

[ET80]

3 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

@ET80 Can you warn this cat for tagging me over and over? 

I... 

4 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Ive asked him to stop stalking me and he wont.

...don't...

4 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Im pretty sure he is just outside of the restraining order zone I have on him with binoculars as we speak.

...care.

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

3 minutes ago, ET80 said:

I... 

...don't...

...care.

 

[MWil23]

2 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Appreciate your efforts and what you do for the kiddos. 5 suicides in 13 months is horrifying. 

2 overdoses in that group. The correlation between the smart phone getting released in 2010 and the 58% rise in suicide, depression, and anxiety since then is undeniable.

I am genuinely not trying to detract from this discussion, but I’m saying that when you are on the frontlines dealing with a plethora of issues, the waters get muddied and confusing.

Throw in personal lives, family, getting laid off after 10 years (thankfully the levy passed so I wasn’t, but it was a scary 5 months), and the threat of our head coach and our staff getting canned, and it’s tough.

TBH, the “13 reasons why” scene with the overworked and distracted guidance counselor who misses the signs of suicide for a girl asking for help is arguably the most accurate scene from a show I’ve seen to even scratch that surface.

[Matts4313]

2 minutes ago, ET80 said:

I... 

...don't...

...care.

Have you not got the memo, you cant state those words in this thread. PPM. Plebian posters matter. Get awake. In the immortal words of Cameron Newton ♌︎♏︎⧫︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ⬧︎♏︎●︎♐︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♓︎♏︎

 

Hopefully humor diffuses the tension. Even stupid jokes can make someone smile. 

[Matts4313]

Just now, MWil23 said:

TBH, the “13 reasons why” scene with the overworked and distracted guidance counselor who misses the signs of suicide for a girl asking for help is arguably the most accurate scene from a show I’ve seen to even scratch that surface.

Ive not watched that show. I know it will make me cry like a baby; it seems super depressing.

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

2 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Ive not watched that show. I know it will make me cry like a baby; it seems super depressing.

Same.

[MWil23]

1 minute ago, Matts4313 said:

Ive not watched that show. I know it will make me cry like a baby; it seems super depressing.

It’s not a perfect show by any means and it’s not super realistic in places, but I made myself watch it after I had a player call me one night out of the blue. He was crying, alone, in a park, and hesitated and outright told me “I don’t know” when I asked him if he was safe. 
 

I found out later if I hadn’t picked up my phone, he’d have been gone. Popular, athletic, handsome, and 16-17, thinking his life was over since his girlfriend of 1 month broke up with him.

[MWil23]

2 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

4 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Ive not watched that show. I know it will make me cry like a baby; it seems super depressing.

Same.

Season 1 is worth a watch for anyone who has adolescents or works with them. After that, nah. Like I said, flawed in places but insightful.

[Tk3]

1 hour ago, MWil23 said:

To be honest, this is kinda where I am (the last paragraph). It’s exhausting to have to tiptoe around the “right” things to have to 100% care about vs being indifferent to. Instead of being called a jerk, I can get labeled as something much worse. Blanket labels are a good reason why so many are afraid of honest dialogue about many such issues and matters in society as a whole.

And the other reality is, using the Q 2-3 years ago is a slur that gets me fired or I absolutely send a student to the office for saying (not just the tone) and now it’s acceptable to use. It’s mentally exhausting to keep up with.

 I’m going to continue to love my students, players, and coworkers and stay as up to date on things as I can, but getting lambasted for semantics is where a lot of folks are going to lose people for right or wrong.

I fully get where you are coming from and relate to this, and I've learned that my response is "growth" and "humility"

Things change as we learn and evolve, and its up to us to learn and evolve with them. As to your first point, it may be different as a teacher or an authority figure, but I've generally found that people are pretty open and forgiving to mistakes (if they are genuine) as long as your response is an apology a promise that you will do better to understand.

It's almost a certainty that some of us are going to be behind and trying to keep up with what is the right thing. Several years ago I had no idea what "non-binary" was or "cisgender" or a ton of other current terms. I didn't know the correct terms or approaches to certain conversations. I had used words like "lifestyle" and "preference" in the past, without meaning to be saying the wrong thing. (And I am 100% certain that I still don't know correctly everything at this moment and will make mistakes again - hell, maybe even in this thread). But you live, you talk with people and learn their stories, you maybe make mistakes, and you learn.

If I mixup something and someone corrects me, my response is some form of "sorry, I didn't know that. I'll remember that" or "sorry, I didn't realize you prefered that. Thanks for teaching me" or some variation to acknowledge the issue and show that I care.

The problem is digging in, being defensive, refusing to acknowledge the mistake, or pretending like its all the same to you.

Just my 2 cents. It's hard, but its up to us to do the work as well.

[Tk3]

35 minutes ago, ET80 said:

I've hidden a few posts that go deep into politics and/or religion, but that's about it.

I don't get it...

- The Mod team and I take action, and we're too heavy handed. We lock too quick and are too fast on Warnings.

- We don't take action and let conversation go, and we're not doing enough (rhetorical response, we're doing EXACTLY what we should be doing based on discussions on how to manage this specific thread).

Seems like we can't please everyone...

It's almost as if its an impossible job and that internet people are, overall, an unreasonable lot

[minutemancl]

17 minutes ago, MWil23 said:

To put things into perspective on the times, 7 years ago cyber bullying wasn’t even “a thing”.

Interesting; I remember cyber bullying being a big problem for my class in middle school, which was the late-2000s; more like 15 years ago. Myspace and AIM caused so many problems that they had to hold assemblies talking about the 'dangers' of them. I imagine smartphones introduced additional problems too though.

[MWil23]

Just now, minutemancl said:

Interesting; I remember cyber bullying being a big problem for my class in middle school, which was the late-2000s; more like 15 years ago. Myspace and AIM caused so many problems that they had to hold assemblies talking about the 'dangers' of them. I imagine smartphones introduced additional problems too though.

My fault, let me clarify:

I’m speaking about the precedent that schools are responsible to enforce it outside of school grounds and hours, not just “on site”.