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Mission of Law's Top-25 Players in Baseball


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3 hours ago, Slateman said:

Top ten smuggest white collar persons in baseball

Not players. Probably not managers. But commentators, agents, scouts, execs, and, owners.

Boras gotta be number 1. 200 million for JD Martinez!!

Man that's really hard.  Let me start with a few honorable mentions: 

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Joe Torre - Joe somehow smugly parlayed a career as a serial killer of relief pitchers into his current role as the puppet master of Major League Baseball as well as its rule-czar.  While Rob Manfred might seem like he's in charge, Mr. Torre has clearly been behind every major decision of the last decade, and is smugly still kicking despite probably being at least 90 years old. 

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Bob Nutting - It takes an awful lot of smugness to try to pull of transition lenses in 2017, but when you have a billion dollars in Pittsburgh you can do pretty much anything you want.  Coincidently, Bob's last name describes my reaction every time I watch Adam Wainwright's curveball. 

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Joe Girardi - Now that Joe is no longer manager of the Yankees and just some dude, you have to appreciate the smugness of him showing up with a coffee cup and some excerpts from him binder at the GM meetings to participate in the competition committee.  Smug lack of self awareness is a very strong type of smugness. 

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Omar Minaya - Don't think I really need to explain this one, he'd probably make the top-10 if he were still relevant.  Maybe the smuggest thing he ever did was find a way to completely tank a franchise with David Wright, Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, Pedro Martinez, and Johan Santana and in so doing crush Greenie's dreams forever.  Thank you Omar.

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Kevin Goldstein - No idea what Kevin is up to these days but he displayed a surprising amount of smugness for a moderately overweight fedora-wearing individual and was part of one of the greatest podcasts of all time, so he deserves a mention here.  If I remember correctly he was an early fan of Jose Altuve, which automatically disqualifies him from the top-10.

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Peter Gammons - Smugly survived brain cancer and called Matt Weiters retarded on national television.  I remember a time when Gammons was like God in baseball circles for some reason that never really made sense, but he was pretty smug about that.  Now he's basically a nobody but he's still got that glint in his eye.  

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Roger Angell - Smugly stole the MoL schtick to sell his failing magazine.  While it makes me heated, you do have to respect the smugness which he probably picked up from living to be 100 years old.  It does make the MoL pretty smug that someone who has been writing for a magazine since World War II decided to steal our content, although we just wish it were a more successful magazine that was not failing. 

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On 11/16/2017 at 7:54 AM, ramssuperbowl99 said:

tbh Theo Epstein breaking 2 curses, dropping the f bomb because he was wasted in a postgame interview, then going on a month long bender is pretty damn smug

You forgot this
 

Quote

On October 31, 2005, Epstein resigned, rejecting a three-year, $1.5-million-per-year contract for personal reasons. According to The Boston Globe, "This is a job you have to give your whole heart and soul to", he said. "In the end, after a long period of reflection about myself and the program, I decided I could no longer put my whole heart and soul into it." Because it was Halloween the night he resigned from the Red Sox, Epstein left Fenway Park wearing a gorilla suit in an attempt to avoid reporters.[11] A witness reported spotting a person wearing a gorilla suit driving a Volvo similar to Epstein's that night. The suit was loaned to him and was later auctioned for $11,000. The money raised was given to The Jimmy Fund and the Foundation to be Named Later (FTBNL).[12]

Epstein remained in contact with the team's front office and on January 12, 2006, he and Red Sox management announced his return. Six days later, the team announced that he would resume the title of general manager and add the title of executive vice president. In November 2007, Epstein announced, at the annual general manager meeting, that he had signed a new contract with the Red Sox but declined to disclose the terms of the deal.

Doesn't resign initially because heart's not in it. 2 1/2 months later he signs with a new and improved title. And he left in a gorilla suit?

Even Bonds marvel's at that smugness.

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1 hour ago, mse326 said:

You forgot this
 

Doesn't resign initially because heart's not in it. 2 1/2 months later he signs with a new and improved title. And he left in a gorilla suit?

Even Bonds marvel's at that smugness.

We also can't forget when he unloaded a golf ball in the office that almost ya boomed Ben Cherington from life. 

Quote

With folks crowded around, he gave it a go, and the ball hit a concrete pole, then caromed at an impossible angle ... straight into the forehead of Ben Cherington, the VP of player personnel. They heard the moans first. Blood gushed from the wound. Minutes later, Theo went outside to meet Ben's irate wife, who'd planned on picking her husband up that evening to move stuff to their new house. "Don't be mad" is how Theo opened the conversation. Later, he signed the golf ball and gave it to Ben as a joke.

Signed ball in peak level smug.

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