Body Positivity

[fretgod99]

4 hours ago, pwny said:

Except the whole coinage of the term “dad bod” started because it was found that a large percentage of women find that body type more attractive than the conventional standards that we expected. Routinely, studies have found that 70-75% of women looking for a partner find a dad bod sexy, whereas the conventional standards we hold men to fare far less positively. Dad bod isn’t a pejorative, it’s a sought out trait. And the term was coined as a positive for those who look like that; the fact that a man doesn’t need to be a big strong jacked dude to lead a family, and a note that the softer features are a trait that is comforting and disarming to those seeking out a male partner. 

 

Until “mom bods” gets the same celebration and become a sought out trait, yeah the term is gonna be viewed differently.

The wild part is while many people, including female presenting people, can find the muscular, cut male body attractive, that standard is largely a male power fantasy. Female-identifying people, when polled, routinely rate more normal musculature as desirable and attractive, over the hyper fit look.

Super ripped, lean male body is fulfilling the male gaze, not the female gaze.

[fretgod99]

A lot of people seem to think having “traditionally” masculine traits is “toxic masculinity”. That’s not it, nor has it ever been.

Being “stoic” isn’t bad. It’s not good. It just is. Being forced to be stoic, because that’s what is “manly”, is bad.

Toxic masculinity isn’t a description of a specific subset of characteristics. It’s a description of society’s insistence that there is one specific or preferred way to exist as a male in this society.

You can love guns and hunting and football and lifting weights and not being particularly expressive with your emotions. That’s fine. None of that makes you an exemplar of toxic masculinity.

The problem comes when you force yourself or other people into that same mold because society. Or when you incorporate that identify with violence (both physical and otherwise) towards people who don’t confirm with your ideal presentation. As well as a number of other fun facets associated with a number of other privileges we could discuss here, except it would probably trigger a bunch of you.

If your belief is “toxic masculinity” is just a way to say “being a man is bad”, you haven’t been paying any attention. Or, the only people you’re paying attention to probably have a particular perspective on anything that doesn’t comport with traditional expressions of masculinity.

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

4 minutes ago, fretgod99 said:

A lot of people seem to think having “traditionally” masculine traits is “toxic masculinity”. That’s not it, nor has it ever been.

Being “stoic” isn’t bad. It’s not good. It just is. Being forced to be stoic, because that’s what is “manly”, is bad.

Toxic masculinity isn’t a description of a specific subset of characteristics. It’s a description of society’s insistence that there is one specific or preferred way to exist as a male in this society.

You can love guns and hunting and football and lifting weights and not being particularly expressive with your emotions. That’s fine. None of that makes you an exemplar of toxic masculinity.

The problem comes when you force yourself or other people into that same mold because society. Or when you incorporate that identify with violence (both physical and otherwise) towards people who don’t confirm with your ideal presentation. As well as a number of other fun facets associated with a number of other privileges we could discuss here, except it would probably trigger a bunch of you.

If your belief is “toxic masculinity” is just a way to say “being a man is bad”, you haven’t been paying any attention. Or, the only people you’re paying attention to probably have a particular perspective on anything that doesn’t comport with traditional expressions of masculinity.

This is what I’ve been trying to say.

Thank you for helping me and my smoove brain.

[Dome]

5 hours ago, ET80 said:

Send 'em my way. That's my wheelhouse right there.

We should have a best cake thread and it’s just hot moms 

[pwny]

5 hours ago, MWil23 said:

Literally don't care. It's extremely offensive to me and that doesn't make it okay. Intent doesn't matter, it's all about how I perceive it, and it's offensive.

Also, a follow up question in addition to my last post. If the concept of a dad bod is “extremely offensive” to you to the point that you refuse to accept anyone’s intent on the matter nor the origin and general use as body positivity, may I then ask why you referred to Baker Mayfield as having a dad bod and referred to yourself as having a dad bod. 

I don’t quite understand why a term that you have used on at least a couple occasions on this forum — and I can’t imagine these are the only times in your life that you’ve used the term of twice it appeared on here — would then cause you to claim deep personal offense over its usage. And I’m doubly confused by the extreme offense by the usage of the phrase, because you did use it negatively when referring to Baker, so it certainly wasn’t you believing it was a positive term and then coming to find it as a negative term later and disowning it at that point; you happily leaned into any negative connotations of the word.

So can you walk me through the process that got you from shaming Baker for having a dad bod to now being so deeply offended by the phrase dad bod that you refuse to hear any justification for its usage, even though the societal effects have largely been positive?

[MWil23]

6 minutes ago, pwny said:

Also, a follow up question in addition to my last post. If the concept of a dad bod is “extremely offensive” to you to the point that you refuse to accept anyone’s intent on the matter nor the origin and general use as body positivity, may I then ask why you referred to Baker Mayfield as having a dad bod and referred to yourself as having a dad bod. 

I don’t quite understand why a term that you have used on at least a couple occasions on this forum — and I can’t imagine these are the only times in your life that you’ve used the term of twice it appeared on here — would then cause you to claim deep personal offense over its usage. And I’m doubly confused by the extreme offense by the usage of the phrase, because you did use it negatively when referring to Baker, so it certainly wasn’t you believing it was a positive term and then coming to find it as a negative term later and disowning it at that point; you happily leaned into any negative connotations of the word.

So can you walk me through the process that got you from shaming Baker for having a dad bod to now being so deeply offended by the phrase dad bod that you refuse to hear any justification for its usage, even though the societal effects have largely been positive?

Sure. Both were used in a negative context. I worked to lose mine and Baker is and was out of shape, so I meant for it to be overtly negative. But kudos for digging 2 years into my posting history for your “gotcha” moment. Aside from that, I really don’t care to discuss anything more with you about anything else. We don’t agree on much, and I’d prefer to just go our separate ways. I wish you the best (sincerely).

[Mox]

4 hours ago, pwny said:

I had a longer post written up, and then it got nuked when the forum went down, so instead a truncated version.

The term rose to prominence in 2015 with this article. Beginning in 2016, every single year since has seen increases in men who identify as having a dad bod being "happy with their body" (one year alone saw a 15% jump), believing that their body type is "universally accepted" (16% increase since 2016), and a decrease in the number of men with dad bods who feel like they are judged for their body type (down 9%). Each year has also seen increases in the number of single women (15% increase), and women in general (also 15%) who view dad bods as "sexy," making it the single most universally perceived "sexy" body type among all men as ranked by perspective mates. No other body type, male or female, has seen anything coming close to this type of increase in both individual body positivity as well as an increase in attractiveness as deemed by perspective mates.

So -- if this is in fact not a body positive term, and would be the same as saying "mom bod" because it's only a dig at them gaining weight -- what type of explanation do you have for the sudden love for "dad bods" despite society having a pervasive use of a pejorative against them beginning at the exact same time? Something is bringing a rush of body positivity to those with the body type, what could it be?

Genuine question-Am I missing something? This reference is simply a random post online with no data behind it.

[pwny]

9 minutes ago, Bullet Club said:

Genuine question-Am I missing something? This reference is simply a random post online with no data behind it.

You are correct about the first cited post. However, my post does not draw any assumptions from that post. It was simply a statement of fact; the term came from that article in 2015. The citing of that article wasn’t to give it as some defining truth about the female gaze, but to note when the phrase came into prominence. Doing this allowed for the posting of other data that showed that after the word came into existence, body positivity within the group sharply rose. The article, the creation of the phrase, and the discourse after changed perceptions of the body type and led to a great deal of body positivity in the last 5 years.

The second news article referenced some of the data from one year’s change. I lost a bunch of the articles I had when the forum went down earlier, but if you search “dad bod study” there’s been 1-3 studies each year since the creation of the phrase, and they all show the same thing; growth in individual body positivity, that it’s the most sought out body type, and that both are trending upwards.

[Mox]

36 minutes ago, pwny said:

You are correct about the first cited post. However, my post does not draw any assumptions from that post. It was simply a statement of fact; the term came from that article in 2015. The citing of that article wasn’t to give it as some defining truth about the female gaze, but to note when the phrase came into prominence. Doing this allowed for the posting of other data that showed that after the word came into existence, body positivity within the group sharply rose. The article, the creation of the phrase, and the discourse after changed perceptions of the body type and led to a great deal of body positivity in the last 5 years.

The second news article referenced some of the data from one year’s change. I lost a bunch of the articles I had when the forum went down earlier, but if you search “dad bod study” there’s been 1-3 studies each year since the creation of the phrase, and they all show the same thing; growth in individual body positivity, that it’s the most sought out body type, and that both are trending upwards.

I think you linked the same article twice, and that's why I was confused.

[pwny]

1 hour ago, Bullet Club said:

I think you linked the same article twice, and that's why I was confused.

Ah yeah, that would be it. 

[Dome]

1 hour ago, Bullet Club said:

I think you linked the same article twice, and that's why I was confused.

source so nice you cite it twice... 

[NudeTayne]

On 12/10/2021 at 12:07 PM, fretgod99 said:

The wild part is while many people, including female presenting people, can find the muscular, cut male body attractive, that standard is largely a male power fantasy.

The most attractive trait to women (and female-identifying men) is power/strength. You're arguing against observable reality with some cherry-picked (social programming?) statistics from garbage surveys.

On 12/10/2021 at 12:07 PM, fretgod99 said:

Female-identifying people, when polled, routinely rate more normal musculature as desirable and attractive, over the hyper fit look.

Super ripped, lean male body is fulfilling the male gaze, not the female gaze.

Nope. Women are turned on by guys who can chop wood all day and be dominant. Start lifting if you want to keep your partner interested or her/his eye will stray.

This is reality. You're speaking as if modern society's unraveling is a good thing and not just what is happening with too many vices and sedentary lifestyles.

[NudeTayne]

This is a disgrace:

It's not progressive to be weak and slovenly. Walk around Target and Walmart and see all the obese models/mannequins. Diabetes isn't attractive.

Edited December 13, 2021 by NudeTayne

[Malfatron]

38 minutes ago, NudeTayne said:

This is a disgrace:

It's not progressive to be weak and slovenly. Walk around Target and Walmart and see all the obese models/mannequins. Diabetes isn't attractive.

Seltzer is a low carb drink

[Dome]

17 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

Seltzer is a low carb drink

Do u even lift bro