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MightyMouse07

GDT: The End is Near Edition - Wash v Boys

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We need somewhere new to ***** and moan. We get to take on Washington. I'm stuck between tank mode and wanting to beat Washington because well I hate them. 

Predictions:

Cousins throws for 350 yards and 3 TDs.

Crowder has 125 yards.

Davis/Reed gets 100 yards.

Dak doesn't turn the ball over.

Morris gets a TD.

We lose the game in heartbreaking fashion.

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If losing this gams guarantees a mutiny and the demise of Garrett is his garbage “process”, them I’m all-in on losing.

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1 hour ago, plan9misfit said:

If losing this gams guarantees a mutiny and the demise of Garrett is his garbage “process”, them I’m all-in on losing.

Dilly Dilly!  

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The defense will be amazing the 1st half as Dak and the offense struggle to learn football. Halftime WSH-6 Dal-3.

 

In the second half Jason Garrett will ask Jay Gruden what he thinks the Cowboys should adjust on offense, and Kirk Cousins will take the place of Sean Lee on defense by calling our blitzes and getting our DBs lined up properly.

 

The 2nd half the defense collapses again after being hung out to dry in the 1st half again.

 

Washington starts getting Tuddys on every drive. This sparks Daks sense of urgency and in the 4th quarter he decides to attempt a pass longer than 7 yards. He fires DEEP to Dez who is wide open...ha. Who am I kidding? Dez is completely covered. Double covered. Quadruple covered. BUT he leaps up and MAKES THE CATCH!! He conjures 2014 and makes a Sportscenter Top 10 ballerino clutch grab! Down at the 5 and Morris punches it in. 

 

After WSH gets their next TD Dak decides to go deep for Dez again. This time though, when Dez leaps in the air he tears his Achilles tendon and 12 bones in his foot spontaneously combust. The pass is picked off by Breshaud Breeland who trucks La'el Collins at the 10 and walks it in. They proceed to do a TD dance where the entire redskin defense goes to the center star and does the T.O.. 

George Teague ropes in from the opening in the roof and spears Josh Norman. The Redskin squad soon overwhelms him and he is ultimately melted down and subsequently injected into Deuce Grudens bicep. To which Duece, in a euphoric rage yells, "Dogs don't know it's not bacon!!"

The game ends WSH-34 DAL-10. Jerry Jones decides to pull an Arkansas and get rid of Jason Garrett before he walks off the field. But instead of firing him he beheads him on the 50 yard line. Jerry triumphantly yells, "Pig Sooieeeee!!" And is immediately dropped from a massive heart attack. As he lays lifeless next to the decapitated JG on the 50, Stephen Jones immediately announces his new reign over the organization. In his first move he hires Jimmy Johnson as HC.

 

The Dallas Cowboys win their next 36 games by a combined score of 130,000 to 0, and become the only team to post back to back undefeated SB winning seasons. Roger Goodell is burned at the stake and #34Ricky Williams is named the new commissioner. The Lombardi trophy is renamed "The Johnson," and is made to look like a buff Jimmy.

 

giphy.gif

 

Edited by DaBoys

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33 minutes ago, DaBoys said:

The defense will be amazing the 1st half as Dak and the offense struggle to learn football. Halftime WSH-6 Dal-3.

 

In the second half Jason Garrett will ask Jay Gruden what he thinks the Cowboys should adjust on offense, and Kirk Cousins will take the place of Sean Lee on defense by calling our blitzes and getting our DBs lined up properly.

 

The 2nd half the defense collapses again after being hung out to dry in the 1st half again.

 

Washington starts getting Tuddys on every drive. This sparks Daks sense of urgency and in the 4th quarter he decides to attempt a pass longer than 7 yards. He fires DEEP to Dez who is wide open...ha. Who am I kidding? Dez is completely covered. Double covered. Quadruple covered. BUT he leaps up and MAKES THE CATCH!! He conjures 2014 and makes a Sportscenter Top 10 ballerino clutch grab! Down at the 5 and Morris punches it in. 

 

After WSH gets their next TD Dak decides to go deep for Dez again. This time though, when Dez leaps in the air he tears his Achilles tendon and 12 bones in his foot spontaneously combust. The pass is picked off by Breshaud Breeland who trucks La'el Collins at the 10 and walks it in. They proceed to do a TD dance where the entire redskin defense goes to the center star and does the T.O.. 

George Teague ropes in from the opening in the roof and spears Josh Norman. The Redskin squad soon overwhelms him and he is ultimately melted down and subsequently injected into Deuce Grudens bicep. To which Duece, in a euphoric rage yells, "Dogs don't know it's not bacon!!"

The game ends WSH-34 DAL-10. Jerry Jones decides to pull an Arkansas and get rid of Jason Garrett before he walks off the field. But instead of firing him he beheads him on the 50 yard line. Jerry triumphantly yells, "Pig Sooieeeee!!" And is immediately dropped from a massive heart attack. As he lays lifeless next to the decapitated JG on the 50, Stephan Jones immediately announces his new reign over the organization. In his first move he hires Jimmy Johnson as HC.

 

The Dallas Cowboys win their next 36 games by a combined score of 130,000 to 0, and become the only team to post back to back undefeated SB winning seasons. Roger Goodell is burned at the stake and #34Ricky Williams is named the new commissioner. The Lombardi trophy is renamed "The Johnson," and is made to look like a buff Jimmy.

 

You heard it here first!! Book it

I don't know if I should declare this post the POST of the year

or

Have you drug tested 9_9

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2 hours ago, MightyMouse07 said:

We need somewhere new to ***** and moan. We get to take on Washington. I'm stuck between tank mode and wanting to beat Washington because well I hate them. 

Predictions:

Cousins throws for 350 yards and 3 TDs.

Crowder has 125 yards.

Davis/Reed gets 100 yards.

Dak doesn't turn the ball over.

Morris gets a TD.

We lose the game in heartbreaking fashion.

^ me too

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2 hours ago, plan9misfit said:

If losing this gams guarantees a mutiny and the demise of Garrett is his garbage “process”, them I’m all-in on losing.

this times infinity.

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2 hours ago, resilient part 2 said:

I don't know if I should declare this post the POST of the year

or

Have you drug tested 9_9

What drugs do you have? We can test them together

Edited by DaBoys

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I never wish for a loss, especially against a division rival. That said...I think we're at the point where change is needed and unfortunately in this league that means losses are needed. So...go Washington *barf*

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2 hours ago, WizardHawk said:

MM07  steps up and takes his turn in The Process of GDTs.

 

giphy.gif

We need some veteran leadership around here. Make GDTGA!

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I see it this way. There are Ebb and flows to everything. Right now Dallas is in the Ebb stage while Wash is flowing, even though they lost a heartbreaker to N.O. They are AT LEAST fighting.

If we lose on Thursday, it will be our fifth loss at home this year. No Home Field Advantage in Big D. BUT, at least if we turn it around next year we don't have to worry about the stupid stat of "Washington has not beaten the Cowboys in seven straight games!" Or however many it is.

That stat always makes nervous when we are playing against a team we have owned for a few seasons. Take the loss, our playoff hopes are gone, get T. Smith his surgery and on ice, put Lee on ice, put the back ups and rookies in there, get some seasoning.

Get a better draft pick, let Witten go next year (he's looking for the door anyway-Tenn HC job). Sign the best FA LB and RT we can, put Collins back inside, draft the best WR we can with a top 10 pick, then go BPA at TE, DE, CB.

Its over folks. This season is a train wreck. No sense in pretending to fight. This team quit.

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53 minutes ago, resilient part 2 said:

trust me, anything I have won't come close to what ur doing homie.

I'm an excitable child.

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