Ty’s Declassified Movie Observations

[Ty21]

Are you ready to rumbleeeee

 

Ty’s Movie Reviews:

Manchester by the Sea (2016) 9.8/10

No Country For Old Men (2007) 9.8/10

The Godfather (1972) 9.7/10

Tombstone (1993) 9.6/10

The Town (2010) 9.5/10

Titanic (1997) 9.4/10

The Godfather II (1974) 9.4/10

Signs (2002) 9.2/10

Almost Famous (2000) 9.2/10

Air (2023) 9.0/10

Juno (2007) 9.0/10

Superbad (2007) 9.0/10

Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011) 9.0/10

Prometheus (2012) 8.9/10

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) 8.9/10

The Goonies (1985) 8.9/10

Red Rocket (2021) 8.9/10

Slap Shot (1977) 8.8/10

The Patriot (2000) 8.8/10

The Fugitive (1993) 8.7/10

Pulp Fiction (1994) 8.7/10

Sex Drive (2008) 8.6/10

Creed (2015) 8.5/10

The Covenant (2006) 8.3/10

Knock at the Cabin 8.2/10

Nocturnal Animals (2016) 8.2/10

American Hustle (2013) 8.2/10

Creed II (2018) 8.1/10

Prisoners (2013) 8.0/10

1408 (2007) 8.0/10

Our Idiot Brother (2011) 8.0/10

Daybreakers (2009) 8.0/10

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2023) 8.0/10

Watcher (2022) 8.0/10

The Accountant (2016) 7.9/10

Creed III (2023) 7.9/10

The Ring (2002) 7.9/10

Waterboy (1998) 7.9/10

Limitless (2011) 7.8/10

The Fighter (2010) 7.8/10

Honey Boy (2019) 7.8/10

Avatar 2: The Way of Water (2022) 7.8/10

Lincoln Lawyer (2011) 7.7/10

Infinity Pool (2023) 7.7/10

Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012) 7.6/10

The Equalizer (2014) 7.6/10

Unbreakable (2000) 7.5/10

The Italian Job (2003) 7.5/10

Guns Akimbo (2020) 7.5/10

The Rental (2020) 7.5/10

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 7.4/10

Murder Mystery (2019) 7.2/10

Long Shot (2017) 7.2/10

Rudy (1993) 7.1/10

Scream (2022) 7.1/10

Venom (2018) 7.0/10

Nonstop (2014) 6.9/10

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) 6.6/10

X (2022) 6.5/10

Greenberg (2010) 6.3/10

The Flash (2023) 6.3/10

Scream 6 (2023) 6.1/10

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012) 5.8/10

The Trip (2021) 5.8/10

The Bad Batch (2017) 5.7/10

Violent Night (2022) 5.6/10

Bad Words (2013) 5.5/10

65 (2023) 5.2/10

Venom 2 (2021) 5.0/10

Billy Madison (1995) 5.0/10

Legion (2010) 4.8/10

Beau Is Afraid (2023) 4.8/10

Sleepaway Camp (1983) 4.7/10

Firestarter (2022) 4.5/10

Last Action Hero (1993) 4.3/10

Murder Mystery 2 (2023) 4.0/10

Beautiful Disaster (2023) 4.0/10

Ambulance (2022) 3.8/10

Cocaine Bear (2023) 3.4/10

Revenge of the Nerds (1984) 1.8/10

So Undercover (2013) 0.9/10

Jack and Jill (2011) 0.0/10

Edited October 12, 2023 by Ty21

[Ty21]

Creed

•Super excited to watch this biopic about everyone’s favorite band, Creed. Can you take me hiyaaa

•oh wait it’s not a biopic about everyone’s favorite band Creed at all, it’s about fighters. 

•usually when I watch one fighting movie, it sends me down a rabbit hole of obsession where I watch every fighting movie ever made that I can find. 

•fighting movies just have to be the most vainglorious fun you can have as an actor, outside of the workout and diet regimen you have to endure to be convincing

•haven’t seen this movie in a long enough time that it might as well be new to me. Key thing I’m looking for that disqualified Rocky for me: connecting on punches has to be believable. Back in the day, they didn’t even come close lol. Modern fighting movies really don’t have this issue at all 

•Apollo Creed and Adonis Creed are just cool as hell names. I’m glad they continued the Greek mythology name tradition instead of naming him like Brian or something 

•His mom just threatened to beat his *** herself, which was instantly a visual I needed

•it’s still so random the rocky statue is an actual real thing in Philadelphia lol 

•young character mentions something uploading to the cloud, old character voices confusion over the cloud, stares at the clouds in the sky. So funny every time this joke is made

•does Adrian die in the other movies? Or was she killed for this so Rocky wouldn’t have any hang ups in training creed?

•fight scene was fully believable to me outside of their dorky back and forth

•I remember finding his gf attractive the first time I saw this, then she was in the dumb marvel movies and ruined it. There are several actresses I’ve thought were attractive that go on to act in dumb marvel movies and ruin it 

•so Rocky throws up and collapses and is hospitalized and then is fine and everyone moves on like nothing happened. Key part of the movie. 

•maybe he was so startled that creed’s son and gf banged on his couch that he late reaction puked and collapsed and was hospitalized and then was fine and moved on. 

•oh nvm he found out he has cancer like his wife did. The doc just took a while to diagnose and discharged him in the meantime anyway lol. Maybe she was startled that creed’s son and gf banged on rockys couch causing him to puke and collapse and get hospitalized and then was fine and moved on. Must be something in the water in Philly. 

•I personally wouldn’t make fun of the professional fighting offspring of one of the most famous professional fighters ever. Maybe that’s just me. The rapper got what was coming to him tho

•there’s 1.5 million people in Philadelphia but Creed got a whole holding cell to himself after getting arrested. Either Philadelphia is like 80% holding cells so everyone gets their own or he got arrested at exactly the right time for some privacy 

•in the Rocky movies, they’re famous for his training montages. In the Creed movie, he has a cancer-having montage. It doesn’t quite hit the same for me 

•every extra and side character in this movie could be famous UFC fighters making a cameo but I’d have no idea since I maybe know like 5-10 ufc fighters ever 

•creed is only proud of the name creed cause it sounds cool. If his famous fighter dad’s name was Doofenschmirtz, I’m sure he would’ve just kept the last name Johnson. 

•Jon Snow was almost unrecognizable as creed’s opponent, Ricky conlan

•round 2 when they say **** defense and just punch tf out of each other’s face was badass

•so whoever’s trainer gives the coolest pre round pep talk results in that fighter winning the round. If Rocky could more consistently say cool things to creed, it would’ve been no contest

•nobody puts baby in the corner 

•I wonder if Sylvester Stallone knew he’d be visiting his Rocky statue in another Rocky movie someday when he donated it to the city of Philadelphia 

•honestly just a really good fighting movie. No complaints. Unlike that horrendous movie Never Back Down. Jk bk I have a feeling you like that movie so that was for you. Now I wanna watch every fighting movie ever made again. 

[seminoles1]

I just watched Creed and Creed II for the first time last week. I enjoyed them.

21 minutes ago, Ty21 said:

•does Adrian die in the other movies? Or was she killed for this so Rocky wouldn’t have any hang ups in training creed?

She dies offscreen between Rocky V and Rocky Balboa.

Edited March 12, 2023 by seminoles1

[Ty21]

Watcher

*I spoil the ever living **** out of this movie in my review so don’t read this if you want to watch it. I’d recommend watching it too, it was better than I expected*

•any time a movie starts with 20 minutes of people speaking in unintelligible Romanian and then making the sex into each other, you’re in for a good film

•this movie has the clean pinteresty aesthetic Barbarian had that’s very palatable for new horror movies. It single-handedly makes me wonder if I’m in for a decent movie 

•she had to stop her duolingo Romanian lessons on her phone to hear her neighbors make the sex into each other. I have a feeling I’m going to like this movie a lot 

•there’s been some dude watching her through the window the entire movie. Does she close the blinds? No. 

•I was just racistly thinking if this movie is in Romania, where’s Count Dracula and then it pans to the girl sitting at a table with a ****ing Dracula trinket. 

•her creepy stare guy was in an ambulance and still staring at her. Then it was on the news and her boyfriend said creepy stare guy found the body of a missing Romanian girl. Obvious set up here is that creepy stare guy is the killer but twist might be that her boyfriend later on has her trapped here and he’s essentially the captor and she can’t help herself cause she doesn’t speak Romanian and that creepy stare guy can help her in the end but for the time being he is content with watching them make the sex into each other. 

•she finally revealed creepy stare guy to her boyfriend. 

•girl is like budget Florence Pugh

•there’s a serial killer called the spider that slits women’s throats 

•girl is making out with someone on the stairwell when diet Florence Pugh takes out the trash. Introducing a character for the spider to kill next? Or just a friend for the main character to create more dialogue, and then the spider kills her later 

•diet Florence Pugh is now going from place to place, like a coffee shop and theater for mild amusement but her main character trait is not wanting to get murdered. The American dream. 

•creepy stare guy blatantly followed her to the theater and grocery store. Stealth God. 

•she tells her boyfriend how terrified she is of creepy stare guy stalking her so boyfriend tries to make the sex into her. Men are so complex 

•”see, he’s staring right at me.” “Maybe..or maybe he’s staring at the woman who’s staring at him”. Got her 

•you know what was a good similar movie? That one with Jason Bateman and the Australian actor that looks like Conan O’Brien where diet Conan stalks Jason Bateman but it turns out Bateman was the bad guy the whole time 

•I have a feeling creepy stare guy is actually like the 13 time reigning Romania Staring Contest Champion and he wasn’t going to back down to some white girl that should’ve been Florence Pugh but isn’t 

•yeah I genuinely wonder if creepy stare guy is wary about the reported serial killings so he’s always watching his neighbors looking to figure out what’s happening. Diet Florence Pugh (DFP) is just prejudiced 

•or maybe creepy stare guy isn’t the same guy she’s been encountering in public 

•DFP has her iPhone brightness at max. Someone that maybe needs to die in this movie now 

•now DFP is stalking the stalker. Oh how the turntables 

•oh damn she followed him to a strip club. Where he works as a janitor. WHERE HER NEIGHBOR FRIEND WORKS AS A STRIPPER

•and now she’s home and paranoidly pinned a chair against her door. And now she’s getting murdered. Oh wait she was dreaming. Oh but her stripper neighbor is getting murdered on the other side of her wall. Oh wait it was just the neighbor’s cat. No one is getting murdered. 

•dude comes knocking on neighbor’s door cause she ghosted him. DFP goes up to him and ends up going with him to investigate her disappearance. If he’s the serial killer, DFP has an awareness score of 5. 

•creepy stare guy calls the cops on her for harassment and stalking in an all time move. Shortly after the spider is caught. 

•the boyfriend that’s been gaslighting her all movie is speaking Romanian with his family but doesn’t know she’s been taking duolingo classes on the sly and translates what he says to “at least I have the spider to keep me company”, a jab at her being crazy lately and stalking creepy stare guy. She’s not having it 

•I’m mostly just impressed with the boyfriend’s ability to seamlessly fluctuate between a smooth, placid American accent and a thick Romanian drawl when he speaks Romanian 

•she left the event, got on a train and who’s on the train with her but creepy stare guy. She’s scared but hasn’t thought to take off her ****ing high heels. My blood pressure is starting to go up

•he gave the cutest explanation for staring: he’s a lonely sad man that takes care of his sick father and thought her staring back meant she was friendly until she got police involved. He makes her apologize on the train and then she bails 

•she’s packing her stuff to leave romania so this will be the perfect time for her to get murdered even though the spider has “been captured”. 

•music at the suspiciously absent neighbor friends apartment. She investigates and there’s her neighbor friend sitting on a chair, but without the head she used to have attached to her neck. At this point I didn’t know how she pulled off putting music on, until the spider puts a bag over DFP’s head! So it was likely the spider that started the music! 

•the spider is creepy stare guy, which I listed first as the most obvious choice but didn’t think it would be for that reason. I think we’ve gotten to a point in movies that the unexpected and twist ending is so overdone that the unexpected twist at the end is that there is no unexpected twist. It’s cut and dry, the creepy guy is the serial killer. Also called that his next kill would be the neighbor friend.

•he has her on a bed and her boyfriend can be heard calling her name on the other side of the wall. She tries to yell for him so creepy stare guy slits her throat. Good call, no half measures. No main character protection. She can’t make a sound, tries to pound the wall but creepy stare guy pulls her away. She crawls desperately towards a table, if she can grab something and throw it at a wall, the boyfriend will hear her. Instead she stops there and creepy stare guy lays down with her and stares at her until she appears to die.

•boyfriend calls her phone, resounding through the apartment and he hears it through the wall. He walks to the apartment in time for creepy stare guy to leave and the guys stare at each other and then a gunshot goes off, making Ty jump. DFP wasn’t as dead as she made out and shot him with a gun I guess I neglected to notice and he dies. How much blood she lost for her to be standing super saiyan in the doorway with a gun defies logic, as nothing in the movie thus far hinted that she was anything but feeble, outside of her jogging in high heels which I imagine is difficult  

•they’re probably going to need a marriage counselor 

 

•I’ll honestly give the movie an 8/10. I didn’t look up the reviews beforehand, which I think I’ll start doing more of. Wasn’t a horror movie like I thought but definitely mystery/suspense. Compelling enough even though the only plot line was DFP thinking she was gonna get murdered and putting herself in positions to get murdered. 

•I looked up the actors afterwards too. DFP is the girl from It Follows. I didn’t even realize and that’s one of my fav horror movies ever. Burn Gorman played creepy stare guy, never knew his name but he has a very recognizable face and has been in a lot of noteworthy stuff. Most interesting thing about him is he’s American, and not German. I fully thought he was German. 

[Ty21]

Creed II: This Time It’s Serious

•alright. Idk any of what I’m getting into. I feel like he’s going to fight a nepotism child of a fighter from a prior Rocky movie. Also I really hope Rocky doesn’t have cancer anymore cause let’s just drop that storyline

•ope, right out of the gates, that’s what’s going on. Nepotism child gets chest punched to wake up. Privilege 

•was the dad in the originals always Ukrainian or was he Russian? I felt like he was Russian? But I also didn’t watch them. 

•nepotism child punched that dude so hard I think I died just watching it 

•Creed II: This Time The Fight Is Harder This Time 

•idk what happens in Creed III but here’s my script pitch for Creed IV: Creed is victorious after beating nepotism child and Creed III villain. But this time it’s serious. He’s up against Jake Paul, and Jake Paul is just wailing on him with his Disney channel flow. Then just when the fight seems over, he taps in his brother Logan Paul, who comes out wearing a charizard pokeman card necklace and throws a whole bucket full of Bitcoin all over the mat and chugs a bottle of prime. Then he knocks out creed in one stare. 

•feel like no one skips blocking their head more than creed. These movies are a montage of him incurring massive brain damage. 

•I had a feeling she wouldn’t hear his proposal lol

•he proposed to her and she almost instantly suggests leaving Philly. No girl is worth abandoning Sylvester Stallone 

•I think I’m pulling for the bad guys in this. Him getting excommunicated and living like stray dogs in Ukraine after losing everything after losing to Rocky and training his son to get it all back is way more compelling than creed continuing to win. And the son has a killer punch 

•I just watched the 1980’s Apollo-Drago fight to familiarize myself. God damn, there’s a resemblance to Michael B Jordan when he puts the mouthpiece in. Apollo’s hubris got him killed. Apollo was just as bad as Adonis at protecting his head too lol

•creed is unlikeable and vain too often. Rocky was right to walk away. And he’s always making snide sh***y little comments. definitely team nepotism child 

•so the gf is pregnant, so they’re trying to parallel the first fight where Apollo leaves Adonis behind (unknowingly) in a fight to the death with drago, now Adonis is gearing up for the same with a child to leave behind in the same way

•Creed II: This Time Creed Might Die This Time

•dragos probably not a good dad but they’re conducted themselves respectfully throughout. Said what they needed to say to bait creed into the fight that could fix their family name, but then any chance they’ve had to dishonor themselves, like killing Rocky when he was alone in his restaurant or attacking creed together when he assaulted the dad, they held back. 

•fight is happening pretty early on, so he’s gonna get decimated, collapse into self doubt then he’ll have a comeback including a training montage and end up beating him in the rematch. Assuming it goes this way, it’ll be great for his character cause it’ll break down his vanity and annoying ego 

•and yep he got destroyed. He was never going to win without Rocky in his corner. I liked that they framed the scene to make it seem like maybe he died too. Hollywood likes bringing back old concepts, Star Wars isn’t the only guilty party. 

•creed lashes out at Rocky instead of saying “you were right”. I hope creed’s growth after this is becoming more mature 

•I understand that ego and confidence is a big part of this, but he’s just an a-hole to anyone that shows compassion to him lol

•Rocky has a spat with creed, reaches out shortly after. Rocky had a spat with his son, never talked to him again 

•sledgehammering the ground seems like a good way to **** up your wrists 

•I’ll never not think of the white girl that was so flustered by Michael B Jordan shirtless that she broke her braces in the movie theater 

•training montage? Check. Rocky helping? Check. Deaf baby? Check. Creeds gonna win this rematch 

•although it would be beautiful if his gf sings for his walk on and then he gets murdered in round one 

•I got excited when he yelled “let’s get ready to rumble” cause it’s not the movie title but it’s the opening post of my movie thread 

•watching drago and creed face up before the fight made me think of Paris Johnson and Peter Skoronski. Will the 40 foot armed Johnson beat the baby armed Skoronski and get drafted first?

•already a much cooler fight than anything else before. 

•”try not to get punched in the face, Donnie!”

•same cliche back and forth per round as the first movie, each rounds’ victor predicated on who had the radder pep up speech. 
•the Russian team bails out when it starts to look bleak. No wonder your boxing team sucks, you run away when the going gets tough

•Drago decides he doesn’t care about the Russians anymore and throws in the towel to protect his son in a full circle thing. Probably the only move he could’ve made that would allow them to move to America and ultimately escape exile in Ukraine 

•Rocky finally reconciles with his son. And his son is none other than Peter Petrelli, the most OP of all the Heroes. No wonder he didn’t want to fight with his dad. 

•Another decent fighting movie. I think I gave Creed I an 8.5/10. I’ll give Creed II an 8.1/10. He was just too annoying for most of it. He seemed more humble in the first one but in this one, he was just kinda a dbag. Even in his proposal to his future wife, he said he wanted her to be there for his future accomplishments, but nothing about being there for hers, even though she’s a rising music star. Also seems like he wasn’t overly affectionate with his daughter lol. I might’ve zoned out a bit but it seemed like the extent of their relationship was: finding out she’s deaf, him getting annoyed the kid won’t sleep at night, him giving a very unconvincing answer when Rocky asked if he’d care about a deaf kid, and then holding the child at his dad’s grave. But it was an entertaining movie, the fights were done well and it’s a movie id watch again. 

[Ty21]

 Limitless

•right off the bat, it says “Virgin Produced”. I figure a movie about being extremely smart beyond the level of everyone else would be produced by a virgin 

•dorky late 2000s/early 10’s camera work and music lol. Idk if I’m watching 21, Wanted, or Limitless

•he has a “4 digit IQ” but decided to hide in his penthouse fortress where they were obviously going to look for him and the only escape is jumping to his death?

•sad Bradley Cooper venturing around like a hobo in very much the same getup Ty has always employed. Then gets dumped by his overachieving gf because she doesn’t want a hobo bf that can’t write as a writer because of writer’s block. Writer is really the only job where it’s just accepted that you hit a wall with it and can’t do any work whatsoever. Imagine being a paramedic that doesn’t enact life saving procedures because you can’t find the inspiration 

•now he’s going to get a day drink with his former brother in law. My own former brother in law liked me more than his own sister but I probably wouldn’t ever agree to go get a drink with him 

•what a concept: a pill that lets people that normally can access 20% of their brain access the entire thing. Too bad the movie was written by writers that can only access 10%

•the pill costs $800 each. I wonder what it would be irl. $100k minimum. 

•I respect the idea to take a mystery pill while walking around in public

•the animation of his brain being activated was so corny 

•his apartment is a pigsty and it’s the mark of either a genius or a man depressed. And since taking a pill gave him the inspiration to clean it, I’d venture to guess it’s the latter. Which means we are only depressed because we are idiots. 

•also his first order of business with 100% of his brain was to bang his landlord’s wife after his gf dumped him. Respect. 

•imagine having a pill that maxes out your potential and you use it to bang a girl, clean your house, write one thing and sleep. Bruh could’ve built an empire 

•the brother in law totally lost his confidence after getting his *** kicked 

•brother in law sent him to grab his dry cleaning and breakfast for them both but then when he got back the brother in law had been murdered. You know what that means. Two breakfasts for me. 

•take one pill: become Will Hunting

•he has a four digit IQ and turned $800 into $2000 day trading and boasted about it LOL 

•he has no thought about subtlety even though the person he snatched the drugs from got murdered for them. This movie is just going to be the art of putting yourself on the map but i suppose if he didn’t, it wouldn’t be much of a movie 

•he decides to get a $100k loan from a Russian mobster because day trading was “too slow”. Now the mobster will be on to him. His selling point to the mobster was that he quintupled his money four days in a row. He already said he turned $800 into $2000 and $2000 into $7500, so that means he day traded 4 more times at least to reach those quintuple stats. Which would mean he’d turned $800 into $4.6M, yet here he is dealing with a sketchy Russian mobster for $100k. They could’ve made this make more sense. 
•now that I think about it, when I was day trading, I remember you getting marked a pattern day trader if you day traded more than 3 times in 5 days if you were day trading with less than $25k, which I believe is illegal to go above that. So that slows you down considerably in day trading. Could’ve had him use less money from the start, then get locked out of trading after making close to $25k and then having to pursue the loan so he could trade more freely.

•now he’s randomly out to dinner with his ex gf, maybe to rekindle with her but he instantly starts hitting on the waitress in Italian. Then the ex gf bangs him out of jealousy and fear. 

•you can tell he’s capable of using 100% of his brain cause he says smart guy things like “this must be some big *** merger you’re contemplating”

•and now he’s rapid fastforwarding in his life, a clear ripoff of the hit Sandler comedy, Click. 

•and now he’s in a random part of the city, limping around and confused and unable to account for the last 18 hours, a clear ripoff of Tua Tagovailoa 

•brilliant brain boy knows everything but how to keep tabs on his brain pills and ran out right when he needs to meet the super investor, Robert De Niro 

•there’s some level of irony in the fact that I had to rewind the scene where he’s in a meeting he can’t focus on anything in because I couldn’t focus 

•with him back to being dumb hobo man and his BiL dead, they’re going to have to do a decent job of explaining how he gets his hands on NZT again. 

•so he calls BiL’s contact book and gets chased by a hitman he calls that was sitting right next to him..? Right next to him..?

•finally meets up with his ex BiL’s sister, his own ex wife from a decade ago. She looks ROUGH. Her Facebook business of harassing everyone she graduated with by trying to sell them leggings, or makeup, or ItWorks! must’ve gone south. 

•but let’s talk about when women used to post about hosting parties for sex toys for like Jack and Jill or whatever the company was. And all these women I know were just openly like yeah let’s all get together and talk about sex toys and order them. Where is the decency

•”after I got over my NZT addiction, I found I couldn’t concentrate on anything for more than ten minutes”. That sounds tough. B*tch. 

•ugh, he didn’t have the wherewithal when he was smart boy to pay back the violent Russian mobster? Dumb af 

•Russian mobster is now on NZT. I could watch a whole movie about what this goober would do on it 

•now the hitman is closing in on the gf that was his ex gf that was his gf that’s now his gf. She’s on the phone and he almost gets to her and then doesn’t, a clear ripoff of the cult classic, The Matrix. 
•she beseeches two fat guys in the park to protect her. The hitman stabs them both in their bellies once, killing them instantly.

•gf is prompted to take NZT so she’d be smart enough to leave her hiding spot and escape. Now she’s smart boy. She uses her smarts to run onto an ice rink at a sprint and then uses a child’s skate to assault the hitman, permanently ****ing that kid up mentally for life. Then she sprints away on the ice. Does Hollywood not understand ice since it’s never under like 60° there?

•he becomes smart boy again and hires a couple body guards and instructs them to always walk behind him and never in front which instantly made me think of: 

•he’s paying a scientist to either create NZT or a better formula of it. But doesn’t give him NZT to work more efficiently. I feel like if you could make a better NZT, the people that made NZT originally would’ve taken it and accomplished that themselves. 

•hires the best lawyer in the city. The best lawyer in the city instantly asks him in public immediately after leaving the police station if he did it. 

•package with “hand delivery” written on it is a package of his bodyguards’ decapitated hands. What a pun 

•his lawyer stole his NZT and is working for the bad guys. What a twist 

•now the Russian mobster is attacking his penthouse fortress that’s supposed to be impenetrable but is being penetrated by its first attackers. There was like 50 opportunities for him to take the Russian mobster out or not get him involved at all. 

•not only was the impenetrable fortress penetrated in like 3 minutes, it has no security alarm system. Really the dumbest smart guy ever, a clear ripoff of dumbledore

•I guess NZT only gives you peak level reflexes and comprehension if you’re a good guy. He instantly overtakes the Russian mobster who was on NZT lol. 

•ooh he drinks the dead Russian mobster’s blood cause it has NZT in it. That’s metal 

•Russian crony with one blind eye gets stabbed in the other eye. What a bad draw for him. He doesn’t let his disability drag him, he continues openly using his gun, killing his co-Russian crony. His pistol has a 23 round clip apparently, although I’m sure he could’ve kept shooting his infinite ammo if he hadn’t been pushed out of the window by smart boy. Can’t get on him about it though, he can’t see when he would need to reload. 

•appears as though the gf left him again, which is a pleasant surprise. Good on her for having enough self respect to not stay with a dude that was abusing drugs and lying to her, even though he was rich. 

•flash forward after he and the hit man kill the lawyer to take his drugs back, he’s running for senate and Robert De Niro is trying to blackmail him to put him in his pocket after buying the company that makes NZT. But then he said he’s off NZT, has insider knowledge that De Niro was a criminal, knew a van was about to crash by them, then felt De Niro’s heart to tell him he needs a certain procedure done on his heart. He gathered that last bit solely from reaching through De Niro’s jacket and feeling his heart, so if there was nothing wrong with De Niro’s heart, the move would’ve been super creepy and awkward. 
•I imagine his systematic slaughter of the 3-4 Russian mobsters that broke into his apartment is public knowledge, but it appears as though it has no bearing on his running for senator, nor does it weigh on him mentally at all that he has personally snuffed four human lives  

•ope nvm he’s still with the gf. Gold digger. 

•the knowing stare at the end meant she knew he was full of it about just being more cognizant, but that he was taking NZT still and had just worked out the bad parts of it. 
•I have no memory of if they ever went over who murdered the random blonde girl in a hotel he was a suspect for 

•This was the movie that kicked off Bradley Cooper being a leading actor right? I feel like these types of movies are dead now. At least the style and cinematography. It’s not a bad movie. It was clearly written by dumb guys that don’t even take NZT. But it’s satisfactory throughout, even the ending is fine. There are parts that cheapen the premise of the movie and the power of the NZT pill, parts that had to happen to add danger to the plot, but parts the could’ve been done differently and more logically. I remember watching this when it came out and being sad there wasn’t a second movie because I liked the concept of the superbrain smart boy. Cooper did well, gf was flavorless and kinda dumb, brother in law was okay, Russian mobster was likable, De Niro was De Niro. I’ll give the movie a 7.8/10. 

[Forge]

What the hell did I just step into

[43M]

Feels like reviews Tank Bawse wrote in crayon and then ate the crayon.

[Ty21]

11 hours ago, 43M said:

Feels like reviews Tank Bawse wrote in crayon and then ate the crayon.

Have u ever considered doing standup 

[43M]

1 minute ago, Ty21 said:

Have u ever considered doing standup 

 The term "standup" is offensive.    

Reported.

[Ty21]

The Town

•This movie was peak Renner and kinda the start of Affleck being in grittier, more serious movies. I still love it; it might be my favorite heist movie. 

•there’s something inherently enthralling about this part of Boston that’s so invested in the robbery business, passed down from “father to son”. Kinda feel like the risk of their freedom to incarceration is worth it to them for the chance at glory rather than the chance of riches. Valhalla

•Not covering up his very identifiable leprechaun tattoo was a huge oversight, as was not taking out the girl they kidnapped. Softness on their part was a very costly loose end 

•I think part of the magic to me is that the Italian mafia theme has been overdone for me. The Irish mafia in Boston isn’t so much, at least from what I’ve watched. There’s something so interesting about organized crime and the community all being on the same page about it. 

•I also like that this feels almost like it could be Good Will Hunting 2, where Affleck’s character gets tired of blue collar work and getting arrested for fights and takes up a life of armed robbery 

•lol I forgot Blake Lively is a hooker in this 

•I wonder if Dennis Lehane wishes he wrote this 

•interesting: the Boston bank robberies stat was way overblown, there isn’t really that many in the whole state, let alone in Boston. Illinois and California were random examples of states with considerably more. Also said the Charlestown area was a breeding ground for robbers decades ago but it’s now a sore subject for people and the area itself has largely been gentrified. Even so, Boston organized crime is still fascinating to me. The Departed might be next to watch again. 

•Renner should’ve followed through with taking the girl out of the equation without consulting with Affleck, who was starting to fall for her. But up until that point, Affleck was the point man. 

•Affleck did an excellent job of talking her out of talking to the fbi without making himself look suspect, outside of her wondering why he knows so much about ratting and witness protection. But it’s clear at this point they need to either kill her or relocate since she fessed up to seeing Renner’s tattoo and he lives on her block 

•”I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask about it later, and we’re gonna hurt some people.” “Whose car are we gonna take?” Friends like these

•nvm, I forgot her tattoo intel didn’t blow the case open, the fbi was already fully on them. 

•girl awkwardly brings up her brother dying from lymphoma when they were little on a day that matches the weather of that day, but she did it as a feeler to test him and see if she could trust him. 

•ah, I remembered it that way because that’s how they thought it was: that the girl was a liability but they were otherwise in the clear but they had actually pretty much already been made. 

•there’s a divide forming between Affleck and Renner that leads to them going into the money truck heist half cocked and it goes poorly. They kill a dude and get chased down the horribly designed Boston roads. Whole scene was awesome though. They’re competent even in their incompetence. 

•I laughed at the cop that saw them and looked away when they were changing cars 

•the florist mob boss is the coolest character in the whole movie. Pulls all the strings and when Affleck tries to strongarm him, he fesses up to neutering his dad and being responsible for his mom doping up and killing herself, when he previously thought she just ran out on them. What a power move

•I really don’t know if I can see Bostonians hitting Fenway park 

•and a strong ending too. Their Fenway heist would’ve been pretty seamless if the entire Boston police force wasn’t outside waiting for them. Probably an opportune time for anyone else to commit any sort of crime elsewhere in Boston. Renner shows he was only about the glory, as he had an opportunity to just abandon the money and get away scot free like Affleck did, but goes out guns blazing. Affleck really didn’t deserve to survive with how he abandoned the mission and kept putting himself at risk. And then he even tips where he’s going with the orange, which would’ve given it away if the fbi was still watching the gf. 

•It’s still a really strong heist movie and is as good as the first time I saw it in 2010 or so. 9.5/10

[seminoles1]

The Town is awesome. Still one of the best trailers ever.

[Ty21]

I’m gonna keep doing my thing with this thread, but if anyone following along has any movie suggestions for me to do a play by play to, I’m all ears. The worst thing I can say is to never speak to me again. 

[INbengalfan]

20 minutes ago, Ty21 said:

I’m gonna keep doing my thing with this thread, but if anyone following along has any movie suggestions for me to do a play by play to, I’m all ears. The worst thing I can say is to never speak to me again. 

Pulp Fiction and/or Reservoir Dogs

[beekay414]

35 minutes ago, Ty21 said:

I’m gonna keep doing my thing with this thread, but if anyone following along has any movie suggestions for me to do a play by play to, I’m all ears. The worst thing I can say is to never speak to me again. 

Armageddon lmao