ianlewis16

look, i know what you're thinking, and you'd be right. also you're a pervert. if you know me you know what i'm about. if you don't know me then know this. i stand for 3 things, and zero of them are your overplayed and quite frankly offensive national anthem. - brown outs - using your real name as your internet forum username - kellen god damn moore. we all know the story of this season. the eagles ended the year employing three coordinators, all of whom ranked 99th-101st on the nfl coordinator replaceability index. something had to be done, something had to change, SOMEONE had to tell jalen it's ok to reach your hands deep inside another mans anus at some point during a game. enter i think it's safe to say that the assassination of archduke and known fan of birds franz ferdinand setting off world war 1 was the most impactful history-altering domino to ever fall, but i feel confident we can all come together in a back to back circle and acknowledge that the hiring of kellen moore, leading to ten consecutive lombardi trophies and first ballot ff hofer il16 blacking out so hard you're all forced out of sheer guilt to travel to the uk for a funeral that resembles an overcast mardi gras, as a comfy second on that list. 'but what makes kellen so incredible ian?' - joe buck 'hasn't he sort of failed twice already ian?' - haters 'boise state don't even play on grass. are they stupid?' - jesus christ of nazareth all valid questions, none of which i will respond to. you're going to have to take my word for it, i've done the research, i've crunched the numbers and poured through the tape. this man is exactly six feet tall and exactly 200 lbs, need i say more? ok i will. born july 5 1988 to a college shotputting and part time welding mother, kellen received a full scholarship to texas after he became the first kindergartener to successfully dunk over a moving horse. he would later commit to boise state after inadvertently making the horns down gesture while carrying three toddlers out of a burning jimmy johns, and boy did he never look back. 2008 2009 2010 6.8!!! 2011 that's right guys. he sexed. 2012-2023 - The Grey Area _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ tony romo voice - "welllll there's the game jim". may as well not bother showing up next year team who gets rejected by detroit coaches, team coached by a guy addicted to watermelons despite the fact he clearly doesn't eat them and team who are addicted to drafting qb's who once babysat for david cutcliffe's ugly kids. if you need to know anymore about our lord and saviour kellen roland moore, please leave your name and address below and expect me at your door within 2-9 business years.

Boys….

Disgusting amounts of irony right there

Depression pizza ordered

I don’t even have a job I can call and tell to go **** themselves ****

In

Jail

@ninjapirate prison

Dumb

I’m sorry but come on. They shouldn’t have even been in the game, they got a damn 5th down versus the Bengals. Then they get basically half an hour to check on that tiktok wannabe’s ankle and then that absolute cherry on top at the end of a CRIME committed by the ‘referees’. And THEN the 5th best Kelce brother has the audacity to go on tv and claim that they were some sort of underdog like bro gtfo

Art it’s some next level ****. I can’t. Hold me.

**** me.

Gannon needs to be dropped off a cliff

Livid rn

What the **** was he on about?? You literally start every season as the superbowl favorites you ugly arrogant bell end.