Crazy Media ideas thread.

[adamq]

15 hours ago, cconocool said:

Context. Ryan takes the pop can recycling bag in the breakroom for extra money.

“Have you worked with the new cart-pusher Jason? He is a little weird. He looks through the garbages’ for pop cans.”

Brief pause in Ryan’s monologue. Then he indicates towards his chest.

“Those cans are Ryan’s cans.”

Skip to 5:10 😂

Edited July 26 by adamq

[cconocool]

So we had a new female cart-pusher for two days, but she wasn't able to focus on her job, so she needed to quit. She was complaining about an "aura of masculinity" that caused her to swoon around the parking lot. The bizarre thing about was that she never actually worked with Ryan, so we brought in a group of scientists to investigate the matter. We really shouldn't be surprised at their findings. Ryan's aura of masculinity is so potent that it started leaking into his work area. We can longer hire anymore female cart-pushers. 

[cconocool]

We had another cart-pusher sign on for the morning shift. He was a retired MMA fighter, with an undefeated record at heavyweight, and boasted about benching 400. He was a lead biker in a motorcycle gang and boasted about drinking a vodka factory dry. His goal in pushing carts was to get his leg day in and demonstrate his masculinity in a public setting. 
He went up to the time clock and saw that Ryan would be training him in. His words were, "I felt like a half a cereal corn puff ball gusting into a mountain range compromised entirely of steel. His level of manliness would overshadow every virile accomplishment I would achieve in a hundred lifetimes." And he quickly and quietly exited the building.