Horry Junkyard: Best Worst prospect ever

[Ty21]

NCAA Road to Glory Player

The Green Bay Plants were down to 0 quarterbacks on their high school football team after all three were forced to tend to their parent's cattle farms, so the team had no choice but to look elsewhere. Rather than convert one of their athletes to quarterback, they opted to look at their senior class. Captain of the chess club, Horry Junkyard, showed elite intelligence as the leader of the club with an astounding record of 4-9 and athleticism with his nimble fingers and deceptive speed in making moves, which were rarely ever thought out. He was hesitant to play sports as his parents had told him if he did he would certainly die, but he did anyway after the coach told him it would get him laid. 

The 5'5" 127 lb Horry Junkyard looks to show what he's got and hopes to gain an athletic scholarship. His top three college choices are Alabama, Wisconsin, and Louisiana Tech, which he thought was actually LSU but it's too late now to change the paperwork. 

It should be a decent showing for the kid as the first six games of the season are against the state champions in football for the last six years, with the season closing out against Cudahy high school, which hasn't won a game in 27 years. 

[Ty21]

With Green Bay set to play Middleton, the one star athlete Horry Junkyard prepared for the game with violent diarrhea in the locker room. Middleton returned all of its starters from the previous season in which they won the state championship and as such, the stands were loaded with talent scouts from colleges all over the area. Now would be an opportune time for them to evaluate superstar athlete Horry Junkyard. 

Horry started the game with a beautiful perfect strike to his wide receiver on a curl, although he was intending to throw it to his slot receiver running a drag. It looked intentional though so heck. 

Horry gets em good with a pump fake, causing them to lose 17 yards on a sack, but boy did they look bamboozled for a second. 

Horry Junkyard started strong with his nice pass to his wide receiver, sure, but he followed it with 5 interceptions on his next 5 throws, which his coach chalked up to poorly run routes. It seemed every time he wasn't throwing an interception, he was getting smashed by a lineman 3 times his size. The scouts were all equally impressed that he was not dead like his parents expected. 

Little weasel Horry runs for his life and tries his hardest not to get hit again by a lineman but ends up getting taken down anyway. 

The Green Bay Plants put up a valiant effort many will remember for their entire lives but in the end it wasn't enough and the Plants fell to Middleton 31-0

 

Stats:

4 completions 22 attempts 59 yards 18% comp 0 TDs 9 Ints 12 sacks

14 carries -92 yards 0 TDs 18 lg

 

[Ty21]

Hit that like button or subscribe like a bawse if you's followin

[Ty21]

I

 too drunk to under stand y y'all ain't love my boi Horory yet but I'll tryna get a game in in a minute so y'all can feast 

[Ty21]

Mequon

Horry started out good as hell by not throwing a pick but it was a three and out. Scouts and coaches together were proud as hell of this kid for not throwing a pick in the first half until 34 seconds left in the half. He showed real good composure and stuff by not throwing 2.5 ints or whatever like he's been averaging a quarter

Bunch of ambulances and whatnot cause his parents think he'll die at any moment 

all season. Killing the competition bruh. 

Horry threw a pick but he made up for it by showing expertise makin sure his team knew they gotta tackle the interceptor guy. He didn't make the tackle himself but it's the thought that counts in football. 

Right befo half now can he do it nah brah two  incomplete then a pick 

"Keep it on the downlow bro but this kid sucks" said one agent "he'll be perfect for our team cause no one will expect us to eventually be good once he's gone from our team. We'll be underdogs and stuff"

The coach had this to say, "we don't have to worry at this point. He's not even averaging double digits in interceptions so it's a real non issue. I'll take a big loss over a close win any day of the week 

 

Mequon 29-7

 

Stats:

9-30 190 0 TD 10 INT 10 sacks

10 carries -100 yds 0 td

 

[Ty21]

L

 

Horry started the game with a well intentioned pass but it was deflected ya mean. Picked again tho this play what am I doin wit my life bruh

Lannisters always pay their debts aka Horry made a tackle on his own int HOF

SCOUT: "takes chances other quarterbacks don't even think of. That makes him dynamic. "

End of first half 0-11 and 5 ints idk even know what to say besides good job holding the other team to 7 points defense 

Totes a close game at half only 38-0 but Horry still coaches boi

Throw enough damn deep balls and one of em will hit. Horry first td of the season came at random maybe the scouts will fall in love and give him a walk on opportunity. 

Two TDs what a pro 

Three TDs what a pilotlll

Four TDs what a prick 

 

38-26

10-40 385 4 td 17 ints 10 sacks 

16 -28 0 td long of 0tackling his own interceptor isn't that special 

I'm too drunk to know the context of his picture but check it out yo

[JBURGE]

tyty I'm starting to think you have serious brain damage

[MKnight82]

6 minutes ago, JBURGE25 said:

tyty I'm starting to think you have serious brain damage

In a good way though.

[JBURGE]

29 minutes ago, MKnight82 said:

36 minutes ago, JBURGE25 said:

tyty I'm starting to think you have serious brain damage

In a good way though

Of course

[Ty21]

6 minutes ago, JBURGE25 said:

Of course

Good brain damage is good brah 

[Ty21]

Against the deadly feared Manitowoc, Horry started strong with an errant pass to his receiver, who somehow pulled it down and made Horry look great. This seems to happen relatively often, lame ducks flying through the sky and landing mysteriously in his own receivers hands and making it look intentional. At least, this is what the scouts thought due to the fact that he was being heralded as the next Brett Favre. 

 

The state champion of four years ago, Manitowoc was showing why it hadn't been back in recent years with turnover after turnover, a perfect compliment to Horry Junkyard's turnover after turnover technique. 

Horry throws a pick, gets blocked out by a dude not even interested in him, twitches a little and walks to the bench

Manitowoc 27 Green Bay 7

 

Stats:

7 comp 33 att 246 yds 21% comp 1 td 11 int 8 sack

8 Rush -80 yds 2 lg 0 td

[Ty21]

Mid seasonish update:

Horry Junkyard is not in the Rivals/Sparq top 200 but it's not a huge shocker since he's still a one star athlete. 

Western Michigan is closing in on offering him a scholarship offer for some reason. I guess they give those out to anyone. 

Louisiana Tech surprisingly is only 71% interested while Wisconsin is 24% interested and Alabama 18%. 

Minnesota, Northern Illinois and Iowa State have all shown interest, all at 53%. 

The Green Bay Plants are 0-4 and playoff chances are starting to look kinda slim.

[Ty21]

Fitchburg, a real competitor in chess club, stands at 4-0 and Horry realizes he needs to be perfect in order to beat them. If he is successful he knows he will feel tremendous pride and won't feel ashamed any longer that he lost to them in chess in one move. 

In his first course of action for a pregame ritual, he did a literal ritual, summoning Satan and offering his soul up in exchange for a good game against his bitterest rivals. The devil politely declined, though, as he couldn't imagine any possible scenario in which his soul would be useful in Hell and there was nothing he could do to make Horry's existence more miserable than it already is. 

Horry made his way onto the field and noticed Fitchburg was up 10-0 before the game had even started. This made him sweat a little, but he knew he was a BAMF and could anything he put his mind to like his mother told him once. 

It was apparent he was destined to have a horrible game, starting with 2 interceptions and 0 completions in 11 attempts but it was also apparent that his WR corps all deserved to go to any college they wanted, making ridiculous plays all over the field and keeping Green Bay competitive. 

Horry expertly rolls to his left against the defenses expectation but it doesn't work so he dumps the ball off to the defense to save his life. 

After the game, a scout from Western Michigan met up with our guy Horry. He looked at Horry in pure adoration, his eyes glistening at the mere sight of him.

Scout: That was a phenomenal game, Mr Junkyard. You didn't even throw double digit interceptions. 

Horry: Yeah I realized if you throw the ball so no one can get to it, it really cuts down on your interceptions. 

Scout: it was a brilliant decision. The less you turn the ball over the more likely your defense can rescue you after a punt and put points on the board themselves.

Horry: I think this was my best game yet. 

Scout: Sensational. I'd have to agree. That was an inspired perfomance and Western Michigan would LOVE to offer you a scholarship to play any position you want. 

Horry: Western Michigan has a football team?

Scout: Oh, we sure do now. 

 

Fitchburg 40 Green Bay 7

Stats:

3 comp 43 att 85 yds 6% comp 1 td 9 int 5 sack 

[skywindO2]

Western Michigan is just made up like the Green Bay Plants, right?

[Ty21]

Despite a stellar 0-5 start, it appears as though the Green Bay Plants' playoff hopes are dashed after it was determined that star wide receiver Jay Purge is academically ineligible after failing all his classes and getting a 0 on his ACT and SAT's and being a really mean person.