Crazy Media ideas thread.

[cconocool]

I was thinking about another story Grandma would recount to her grandchildren as their parents "get pizza." I needed two polar opposite movies, one with a recognizable theme song for the primary action, but this combination didn't fit together as well as Star Wars and Titanic.

After losing the love of her life in the starship explosion, she continues the start of her military career saving England from Ireland. All of her battles are won with her bravery and blue face paint, but every other English general loses their battle. Her second love, Gibson, is enamored with her beauty and tactical military mind. He pushes her around in her terrain accommodating wheelchair and following her orders like a lovesick youth. After multiple battlefield failures, the war culminates into a sea nearby the aquarium. "The country is lost," Gibson informs the object of his love. "No way is this war lost. I have them set up just like I want them," grandma admonishes the leather armored warrior. Gibson pushes grandma near the small section of land between the open-air tank and sea. She yells, "Jump Willy, Jump." Raising her cane about her head, she lets go another yell, "Freedom!" after which the Killer Whale soars above both her and Gibson. The Michael Jackson Theme starts up and the secret weapon starts devouring each Irish soldier trapped in the sea.

[cconocool]

Ryan didn’t immediately transform from the blundering barstool warmer into a legendary lothario overnight. He needed much training as revealed from this early encounter with his mentor.

“Ryan, do you know how to pick up women?”

Ryan has a blank/dumbfounded gaze that fits right here. Then he heads towards a female customer and lifts her off the ground.

[MacReady]

1 hour ago, cconocool said:

Ryan didn’t immediately transform from the blundering barstool warmer into a legendary lothario overnight. He needed much training as revealed from this early encounter with his mentor.

“Ryan, do you know how to pick up women?”

Ryan has a blank/dumbfounded gaze that fits right here. Then he heads towards a female customer and lifts her off the ground.

He lifts her completely off the ground?

[cconocool]

11 hours ago, MacReady said:

He lifts her completely off the ground?

He doesn't know his own strength. 

[cconocool]

Just a bit of humorous dialog I needed to share here.

Just a bit of insider information.

I used to broil burgers at BK, and now I love seeing who manages the grill. A special needs guy named Eddie runs the patties through nowadays, I needed to make his acquaintance. We discuss Vikings, and I keep telling him he should try out for the team, but he doesn't not want the position. 

His information says, "Dobbs stinks like a diaper...... He stinks like a dirty diaper."

[cconocool]

Another humor piece regarding the grandmother who confuses her own life experiences with the movies she watched at the Golden Retreat. But I didn't like this one as much as the first one or the second one, but I feel sometimes you need to push forward with writing creativity otherwise nothing will be accomplished. And I also would have liked to create a scene that featured a pop song to fit the action, but no funny correlations have been found recently. So I combined Castaway and Highlander.

Grandma Sher relates her desire to become King of England after vanquishing the Irish from the island. But, in order to become monarch, she needs to pass a competition against the only other two people on that tropical British Island. The only inhabitants in England in those days were Sher, Connery, and Wilson. Each of them were immortal, but, should they decapitate another castaway, they would inherit super powers. Connery, an attractive older gentleman, developed an infatuation with the beautiful Sher, and the feeling was mutual. He taught her the ways of the sword (Sher sitting in her wheelchair swinging a cane back and forth.) But unfortunately Wilson caught Connery off guard. Sher was distraught and vowed vengeance. A dramatic sword fight ensues with "Princes of the Universe" playing in the background and Sher sitting upon her wheelchair, and Wilson ends up losing his head. As it floats out to sea, Sher declares herself King of England.

[cconocool]

More training for the Rhino. I finally watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger 80s Conan movie.

Having the Rhino push in carts to the wheel theme of Conan.

Rhino, at the end of his training, is questioned by his mentor, in a similar fashion that Conan is.

“Rhino, what is the goal?”

“Bring the women to the Rhino cave, have relations, look for another woman.”

[cconocool]

I was thinking about a recent music video idea concerning a certain coworker of mine. Nate was born with limited neck movement, and he is a bit special needs. And let's say his SMV isn't the best. Anyway, there is an older lady named Wanda with similar SMV who works the bakery. I love Wanda, and I wouldn't want to see her hook up with Nate, because Nate is too grumpy. 
Anyways, Desperado would play while Nate has all these opportunities to woo Wanda, but he is always looking at a slightly higher SMV women who rebuff him.

[cconocool]

Ryan applied for disability, so his work hours are limited now. That means that I need to pick up longer Friday shifts, which is hard because those days are quite busy.

We need to get Ryan fired from disability, so he can work more hours.
Day 1- This will be a breeze. We just need to prove he is capable of working.

Day 7- Give up. Ryan needs all the disability he can get.

[cconocool]

NFL related MEME I was thinking about. 

NFL GMs coming through . Zach Wilson's mom sits in front of her son. Carolina GM. "Do you come with Zach Wilson?" "Heehee, oh you." 

Minnesota GM. "Do you come with Zach Wilson?" "Heehee, oh you."

 

[cconocool]

Nate is leaving the store, so I decided on writing a comedy sketch about him. 
Nate has limited movement in his neck, and a moderate sized paunch. He speaks in a yell, but we still get along pretty well.

Nate is informing someone about his prior jobs. "Yep, I worked there too. But the management hated me 'cuz I was a threat to their authority. I threw a 'Nate Punch,' then quit." The limited range of motion of his shoulders infer that a "Nate Punch" would inflict minimal damage. "But always knew never to call the cops, because the cops are scared too. They know I pack a mean wallop." 

Inquiries are met at an establishment where he claims to have worked.
"At Q-Mart, we like to provide every applicant with a face to face interview as a gesture of goodwill towards the public. Oh yes.... We called him applicant P. We had just refurnished the interview room when he handed in his preliminary information. We brought him in, and he seemed quite nervous, jittery almost. After the greetings, the interview noted an odd smell in the room, then a large puddle of dropping from his soiled jeans. Afterwards giving him a wish of good luck in his future endeavors, we tried bleaching the room, but the odor would never leave, and the room is now used as a storage for cat litter." 

[cconocool]

The Tool Rental lead points towards the counter. "This is where you will be working, Nate." 
A slightly confused and angry expression rolls across Nate's eyebrows. "What's that?"
"Nate, that is a computer, you will use that to help customers rent tools."
His expression leans more towards hostility. "Com, puu, tarrr?"
"Yes, you will be using that to help customers check out tools. Retail stores have been using computers for decades."
Shots of agitation and shaking of Nate of his head. 
Clip focuses back on the Tool Rental Lead finishing his previous quote.
Sound of monitor being tossed onto the cement.
Quiet anger seethes across the Lead's face.

Back at Super One. "We have not had any hires to take Nate's old position, but we need to make it look like we have enough staffing." Idea flashes through the manager's idea. 
Nate comes back looking for a manager, but he notices an upside down mop with a Super One T-Shirt leaning against the produce wall. 

Edited March 4 by cconocool
The other joke was terrible on retrospect, and I feel embarrassed for posting it. This is much better.

[cconocool]

An observation I noted concerning my aforementioned retirement aged co-worker who I will refer to as "Cham" as a reference to timidity from calling the Korean object of his affection 참 예쁘다. No doubt Cham has been feeling under the weather recently as his shoulders have been drooping and the effort required to voice his sentences has increased. Anyway, I was watching him checkout after his shift, when a foxy retirement aged lady lines up behind him and puts a few items from her basket on the counter. It is a miracle! Cham's shoulders regain a youthful posture and his friendly strong voice is audible from 10 yards away. 

[cconocool]

I made this reference before. Although I don't even pretend to be the most masculine guy out there, the upcoming generation of males make me look like He-Man in comparison. That was inspired by one of my co-workers who I will simply call Jay. Jay had the tendency to call into work a lot towards the end of his grocery store career. Management decided on removing him from the schedule. Jay was a bit perturbed at his reduction in hours, so he said he would chat mano-a-mano with the store manager the following Monday exactly at 4:00 PM. Everybody heard his brave declaration. Monday comes, and no sign of Jay at 4:00, 5:00, ..... Tuesday rolls around, and some people come into the lead's office. Jay had called the union to argue on his behalf. 

[cconocool]

I was thinking this was hilarious, but it isn't a real storyline.

Have some of these low SMV males (Eddie, Rhino, Nate) lip sync "Save Tonight" 

Nate has a bit of whipped cream on his lip, licks it, then smiles. 

Rhino gets stuck pushing carts in snow, then sees an attractive customer enter store ahead. A lot more force enters his push, and he easily conquers the snow.

Eddie frolics amongst the dish washing soap bubbles in a seductive manner.