The Great Toilet Paper Debate

[Daniel]

10 minutes ago, JonStark said:

The real question is "which way do you put the toilet paper on the holder?".

Underhanded.  Have cats.

[Tugboat]

On 1/31/2023 at 1:53 AM, ET80 said:

…towel dry. Not that hard.

👍 

Good point.  Hadn't considered the blissful solution of...hanging an dedicated ***-wiping towel in my bathroom.  Or alternatively, spending three quarters of my waking hours laundering an endless stack of *** towels.

 

On 1/31/2023 at 10:04 AM, adamq said:

I remember being a wadder, probably 4 or 5 years old and my grandma saw what I was doing. Been a folder ever since 😂 8 sheets folded in half twice 

 

Have never tried a bidet, but i usually go at work anyways. I do have to shower out, so even if there were some residual it gets taken care of I suppose. May be worth installing one in the master bathroom... feel like my kid would use it as a play thing if put one in his bathroom 😂

The general premise of transitioning from wad to fold resonates with me, as does the double fold.  Or really, even a triple fold depending on early intel reports.

 

But the 8 squares thing sounds kinda psychotically overly precise tbh.  😆

As does performing your primary ****ting at work.  The absolute worst, and most unsatisfying time to evacuate bowels.  With the least control over your Toilet Paper Situation.

 

On 2/2/2023 at 6:11 AM, JonStark said:

The real question is "which way do you put the toilet paper on the holder?".

Had to think twice about my marriage when I realized my wife put it facing the wrong way, but thankfully she's come over to the light side. 

tbh, i thought that's what this thread was gonna be about.

And it's really not acceptable to do it the wrong way.

 

On 2/2/2023 at 6:22 AM, Daniel said:

Underhanded.  Have cats.

Ya'll got some catastrophically stupid cats if they can't figure out the roll the other way.

[ET80]

44 minutes ago, Tugboat said:

On 1/31/2023 at 2:53 AM, ET80 said:

…towel dry. Not that hard.

👍 

Good point.  Hadn't considered the blissful solution of...hanging an dedicated ***-wiping towel in my bathroom.  Or alternatively, spending three quarters of my waking hours laundering an endless stack of *** towels.

So you do absolutely nothing correctly, right? That’s the impression I get whenever you speak.

[Tugboat]

11 minutes ago, ET80 said:

So you do absolutely nothing correctly, right? That’s the impression I get whenever you speak.

I think you're mistaken.  One thing i do right for example, is not having a buttwipe towel hanging in my bathroom.

[ET80]

50 minutes ago, Tugboat said:

I think you're mistaken.  One thing i do right for example, is not having a buttwipe towel hanging in my bathroom.

Honestly - I blame whoever raised you. They did a horrible job. Let ‘em know I said that.

Step 1: Take your morning shower (you do shower - right? Serious question).

Step 2: Use a towel to dry yourself off.

Step 3: Keep that towel around.

Step 4: Use that towel to dry yourself through the day.

Step 5: Put the used towel with the rest of your dirty laundry at the end of the day.

Let me know if you need me to draw you a diagram. I’m out of glitter glue, but can use macaroni to make you a picture, because I know this confused you.

[Daniel]

11 hours ago, Tugboat said:

Ya'll got some catastrophically stupid cats if they can't figure out the roll the other way.

Oh yeah. They are not smart animals.

[Tugboat]

11 hours ago, ET80 said:

Honestly - I blame whoever raised you. They did a horrible job. Let ‘em know I said that.

Step 1: Take your morning shower (you do shower - right? Serious question).

Step 2: Use a towel to dry yourself off.

Step 3: Keep that towel around.

Step 4: Use that towel to dry yourself through the day.

Step 5: Put the used towel with the rest of your dirty laundry at the end of the day.

Let me know if you need me to draw you a diagram. I’m out of glitter glue, but can use macaroni to make you a picture, because I know this confused you.

I don't really see how this works.  It's certainly not really compatible with my typical ****ting schedule.

 

For example, what if...like a civilized person, you get your morning dump out of the way before you shower.  What towel are you using now?  You using that fresh towel to wipe your ***, and then using it shortly thereafter to dry yourself after a shower?  Are you leaving the asswipe towel from the previous day just hanging there all night?

 

Even in your naïve scheduling...you've still got your *** wiping towel just hanging there, throughout the entire day.  I fail to see how your system resolves this issue.

Like what if you have unexpected company dropping by?  Or staying over for a few days.  Do you just leave the *** towel hanging out there in the bathroom?  Do you hang a "guest *** towel"?  How they supposed to dry they butts?  There are just so many issues and unresolved holes in this plot...

 

Also, going through at least one towel per day seems wasteful.  Unless you're using the towel to wipe your *** dry after you ****, there's no reason you can't reuse the same towel for a couple days, or at least a few showers.  Like, you're doubling or tripling your laundry for no real reason.  You get out of the shower, you're as clean as you're gonna get.  As long as the towel can dry, it seems wasteful to not reuse that thing for at least another day.  I usually go with 3 days tbh.  I'd be curious to see the breakdown on energy use from doing 2-3x as much laundry, vs manufacturing toilet paper though.  I know when it comes to public spaces, the energy breakdown for Paper Towels vs Electric Hand Dryers vs Cloth Hand Towel Machines doesn't come out great for the latter.

Edited February 5, 2023 by Tugboat

[ET80]

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

I don't really see how this works.

14 hours ago, ET80 said:

So you do absolutely nothing correctly, right?

 

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

For example, what if...like a civilized person, you get your morning dump out of the way before you shower.  What towel are you using now?  You using that fresh towel to wipe your ***, and then using it shortly thereafter to dry yourself after a shower? 

Lord almighty, you really need pictures - don’t you? Holy cow, I weep for the future. This isn’t the first time you’ve demonstrated a low situational awareness, so I shouldn’t be surprised - but stupidity such as this actually offends me. 

It’s hard to believe that out of seven million sperm, YOU were the fastest.

Grab a pen, brainiac:

1. Dump 

2. Bidet

3. Shower

4. Towel dry

Work smarter - not harder.

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

Even in your naïve scheduling...you've still got your *** wiping towel just hanging there, throughout the entire day.  I fail to see how your system resolves this issue.

I surmise you fail to see a lot. I picture you as a dumber, less funny, less endearing Alan from The Hangover.

Again - your parents did an awful job. Tell ‘em I said that.

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

Like what if you have unexpected company dropping by?  Or staying over for a few days.  Do you just leave the *** towel hanging out there in the bathroom? 

Do you just have *one* bathroom? In pretty much every dwelling I’ve stayed in, I’ve had a master bathroom and a guest bathroom - master bathroom is for my wife and I, guest bathroom is for anyone else. You don’t? Well, I’d wager you don’t have many people visiting either… but I digress.

TL;DR - Direct ‘em to the guest bathroom. (Which most houses have where I come from). Sounds like you might live in a closet, so I guess… invest in a bucket?

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

Also, going through at least one towel per day seems wasteful.  Unless you're using the towel to wipe your *** dry after you ****, there's no reason you can't reuse the same towel for a couple days, or at least a few showers. 

Thank goodness I’m successful in life and don’t have to live like this. This sounds miserable.

 

[BobbyPhil1781]

Squatty Potty crew right now. Cleanup is much easier as a result

[NeptunePenguins]

What a thread lol. I suppose I am "normal" 

[Tugboat]

4 hours ago, ET80 said:

 

Lord almighty, you really need pictures - don’t you? Holy cow, I weep for the future. This isn’t the first time you’ve demonstrated a low situational awareness, so I shouldn’t be surprised - but stupidity such as this actually offends me. 

It’s hard to believe that out of seven million sperm, YOU were the fastest.

Grab a pen, brainiac:

1. Dump 

2. Bidet

3. Shower

4. Towel dry

Work smarter - not harder.

You're just parochially applying your own experience to the entirety of human experience.  You're not even considering the notion of waking up, taking a ****, making breakfast and dithering around doing whatever, then taking a shower before heading off to work.  Narrowminded.  Step 2.5 needs to be addressed.  It could include entire activities outside the bathroom.

4 hours ago, ET80 said:

I surmise you fail to see a lot. I picture you as a dumber, less funny, less endearing Alan from The Hangover.

Again - your parents did an awful job. Tell ‘em I said that.

Again, my parents may not have been perfect...but they at least taught me not to leave ****ty *** towels hanging around all the time.  So that's something...

 

You haven't addressed this issue at all.

 

4 hours ago, ET80 said:

Do you just have *one* bathroom? In pretty much every dwelling I’ve stayed in, I’ve had a master bathroom and a guest bathroom - master bathroom is for my wife and I, guest bathroom is for anyone else. You don’t? Well, I’d wager you don’t have many people visiting either… but I digress.

TL;DR - Direct ‘em to the guest bathroom. (Which most houses have where I come from). Sounds like you might live in a closet, so I guess… invest in a bucket?

Thank goodness I’m successful in life and don’t have to live like this. This sounds miserable.

 

I mean, having 1 bathroom is pretty typical for urban living.  I guess it's different if you're in the middle of nowhere and can just run out to the yard and **** wherever like you're living in the wild as an uncivilized ape.  Or have some sprawled out estate with tons of bathrooms.  But then...the question arises...if Bidets are so life-changing, why do you not have them installed at all bathroom locations in your house?  Or if you do have them installed there, how do you handle the *** towel situation for each?  Guest *** towels?  What if you have several guests at once?  Do they each get an *** towel?

[ET80]

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

You're just parochially applying your own experience to the entirety of human experience.  You're not even considering the notion of waking up, taking a ****, making breakfast and dithering around doing whatever, then taking a shower before heading off to work.  Narrowminded.  Step 2.5 needs to be addressed.  It could include entire activities outside the bathroom.

So… you poop. Then wipe (with your hands, I assume) and then you… handle food. Um… yeah, you’re disgusting.

Not sure if you’re aware of this (actually - I’m positive you DON’T know this) but the bidet is the preferred method pretty much everywhere outside of North America. Toilet paper isn’t really a thing in China or India, but bidets are. So nearly the entire world figured out the process, you seem to be behind on figuring this out (I bet that happens a lot with you). I gave you a framework, and expected you to use some critical thinking skills to work out your routine - alas, I expected too much from you. 

So, chalk up another one for you not knowing anything outside of your little closet and bucket.

You should get out more. 

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

Again, my parents may not have been perfect

Correction - they’ve been horrible at their job of teaching their offspring some basic functions.

I’m ashamed for them.

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

they at least taught me not to leave ****ty *** towels hanging around all the time.  So that's something...

So …you don’t even understand how a bidet works. (It’s like a firehose - unless you’re dropping bricks, it’ll get everything). Maybe you have a deformed butt or something and it won’t work - but for us normal butt folk, there’s no fecal matter left after you’re done with a bidet. So this phenomenon you’re so stuck on (no pun intended) simply doesn’t exist.

(Another thing you don’t seem to get - you really don’t know much outside of your little closet, do you?)

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

I mean, having 1 bathroom is pretty typical for urban living.

Speak for yourself. I don’t think I’ve ever lived in somewhere with one bathroom. Maybe the dorms when I was in college? But that was a communal bathroom. But I’ve been relatively successful in my vocations and have been able to afford middle class living quarters since I was in my early 20s. 

I guess you can’t. That’s… actually pretty sad.

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

But then...the question arises…

A long time ago, a teacher told me “there are no stupid questions.”

I believe you’re proof that there *are* stupid questions.

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

if Bidets are so life-changing, why do you not have them installed at all bathroom locations in your house?

I do, if you must know - along with TP and baby wipes. Whatever a person would want in that department, I should be able to manage. (Unless they’re a disgusting thing raised by animals who would pop a squat and then make food with their hands…)

Unlike you, I have an open mind and don’t attack others because they do things differently (which is what started us on this path - you attacking the way I do things). I attack people when they lack any sort of critical thinking or basic intelligence - which is why you’re such an easy target for me.

1 hour ago, Tugboat said:

Or if you do have them installed there, how do you handle the *** towel situation for each?  Guest *** towels?  What if you have several guests at once?  Do they each get an *** towel?

Yes - my bathroom has guest towels, and a laundry chute where guests can leave towels once they’re done. I have an entire closet with towels. Once a week, we wash em all. This is a basic tenant of middle class living. Work smarter, not harder - I’ve told you that before but I have a feeling I’m asking a lot from you when I ask you to “work smarter”.

So… do you own a single towel? Or only two towels? A small enough amount of towels to where using one leaves you in dire need of towels? Wow… that’s sadder than I originally thought.

You need to get off the internet and find a side hustle, little guy.

EDIT: At this point, I’m actually thinking this is just one elaborate troll job. Nobody is as stupid as you’re portraying right now. So… good on you, you trolled me good.

(Now, in the oft chance you’re not trolling me, I’m blocking you before I say anything else disparaging towards you - if you’re not trolling me, you’re stupidity is beneath me and I need to be better). 

[Tugboat]

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

So… you poop. Then wipe (with your hands, I assume) and then you… handle food. Um… yeah, you’re disgusting.[/quote]

The **** are you doing that you're dumping out and then going and making food without washing your hands?  Like...you know there's a sink in the bathroom usually.  Right?  A spot where you can cleanse your hands after whatever sort of buttwiping strategy you've undertaken.

Like now i'm concerned that you're just blasting your *** with a bidet and then not bothering to wash your hands before you go on with your day and preparing food and whatnot.

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

Not sure if you’re aware of this (actually - I’m positive you DON’T know this) but the bidet is the preferred method pretty much everywhere outside of North America. Toilet paper isn’t really a thing in China or India, but bidets are. So nearly the entire world figured out the process, you seem to be behind on figuring this out (I bet that happens a lot with you). I gave you a framework, and expected you to use some critical thinking skills to work out your routine - alas, I expected too much from you. 

So, chalk up another one for you not knowing anything outside of your little closet and bucket.

 

Awfully rich the dude acting like global trends are somehow applicable to North American realities.  Ain't a bidet in sight in an outhouse or pit toilet that doesn't have plumbing to it.  You've ventured out into the world enough to encounter one of those units, probably?

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

You should get out more. 

Correction - they’ve been horrible at their job of teaching their offspring some basic functions.

I’m ashamed for them.

Getting out is a lot easier when i'm not in some suburban wasteland, hours drive from anything interesting.  So i've got that going for me...

 

I think my parents are probably still pretty proud of whatever ****ed up life i've forged for myself...maybe because they're soft and accepting of failures who don't have like a multi-bathroom home in the awful suburbs or whatever.

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

So …you don’t even understand how a bidet works. (It’s like a firehose - unless you’re dropping bricks, it’ll get everything). Maybe you have a deformed butt or something and it won’t work - but for us normal butt folk, there’s no fecal matter left after you’re done with a bidet. So this phenomenon you’re so stuck on (no pun intended) simply doesn’t exist.

(Another thing you don’t seem to get - you really don’t know much outside of your little closet, do you?)

The **** kind of bidet you got that is "like a firehose"?

 

Like...i know what a firehose is and does.  And i am absolutely not aiming that **** at my butthole unless i want to bleed for the next half a year.  A firehose will literally knock you on your ***.  I don't know what sorts of firehoses you're blasting your *** with, but it can't be residential grade fixtures.

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

Speak for yourself. I don’t think I’ve ever lived in somewhere with one bathroom. Maybe the dorms when I was in college? But that was a communal bathroom. But I’ve been relatively successful in my vocations and have been able to afford middle class living quarters since I was in my early 20s. 

 

Literally any actual city.  1 Bedroom 1 Bath suites are the overwhelming majority of units in every development.  We can't all just live in the boonies with big empty homes that provide zero sustainability as they sprawl out into forever.  You may not have noticed the planet dying, but it's happening...and living in suburban commuter communities is a huge contributing factor in ruining the planet for everyone.

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

I guess you can’t. That’s… actually pretty sad.

A long time ago, a teacher told me “there are no stupid questions.”

I believe you’re proof that there *are* stupid questions.

 

There truly are no "stupid questions".  But your inability to entertain questions that challenge your narrow suburban asswiping frame of mind...is exactly the sort of question that you should be thinking about.

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

I do, if you must know - along with TP and baby wipes. Whatever a person would want in that department, I should be able to manage. (Unless they’re a disgusting thing raised by animals who would pop a squat and then make food with their hands…)

So...for your guests, you provide "typical" accommodations like...Toilet Paper.  Do your guests mean nothing to you?  Are they not deserving of your Bidet revolution?

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

Unlike you, I have an open mind and don’t attack others because they do things differently (which is what started us on this path - you attacking the way I do things). I attack people when they lack any sort of critical thinking or basic intelligence - which is why you’re such an easy target for me.

Yes - my bathroom has guest towels, and a laundry chute where guests can leave towels once they’re done. I have an entire closet with towels. Once a week, we wash em all. This is a basic tenant of middle class living. Work smarter, not harder - I’ve told you that before but I have a feeling I’m asking a lot from you when I ask you to “work smarter”.

Laundry Chutes are bad business.  In a small home, they're wasted square footage and a danger to young children.  In a larger complex, they're a disaster because people are nimrods and will make an absolute mess of the chute.  

You have "guest towels", but if your guests are using a bidet to cleanse their butt...they're going to need multiple "guest towels".  Do you provide your guests several towels so that they can dry their ***** in addition to drying themselves when they shower?  

 

It's really just adding many towels to the entire process.  It's not "working smarter" at all.  It's working harder.  Smarter would be minimizing the number of towels you have to wash.  Efficiency >.

 

TIP:  The "Middle Class" is not real.  It's a convention that allows people divorce themselves from their relation to the means of production. 

 

Also: "Tenant" is the wrong word, you meant "tenet" and if you think intelligence has anything to do with income, you're already hopelessly adrift.

 

47 minutes ago, ET80 said:

So… do you own a single towel? Or only two towels? A small enough amount of towels to where using one leaves you in dire need of towels? Wow… that’s sadder than I originally thought.

You need to get off the internet and find a side hustle, little guy.

EDIT: At this point, I’m actually thinking this is just one elaborate troll job. Nobody is as stupid as you’re portraying right now. So… good on you, you trolled me good.

(Now, in the oft chance you’re not trolling me, I’m blocking you before I say anything else disparaging towards you - if you’re not trolling me, you’re stupidity is beneath me and I need to be better). 

I have multiple towels.  I've got towels i don't even use in a box.  I've got so many towels i could make a blanket fort probably.  I could use a new towel every day if i wanted to.  I'm that privileged.  But the thing is...there is absolutely no reason to do so.  

 

I actually kinda care about the environment and the world we live on...so like...washing tons of towels doesn't seem like a good use of resources.  

[Daniel]

4 hours ago, NeptunePenguins said:

What a thread lol. I suppose I am "normal" 

I'm here to ask the tough questions.

[Neumatic]

WTF have I walked into...