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Mission of Law's Top-25 Players in Baseball


mission27

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11 hours ago, ramssuperbowl99 said:

Can we just submit this one?

http://footballsfuture.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=569165

Either way, worth a read tbh.  If it wasn't such a pain I'd repost in here.

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So I guess what I'm trying to say is, lets get back to Joe Dimaggio, lets get back to something he once said, or maybe it was Mickey Mantle. He was asked why he always played so hard and he said because there is a kid out there in the stands who is seeing me play for the first time. And who am I to not give him my all? And that's how we see it. There is a poster out there or just a random lurker or someone who stumbled on this website who is seeing us post Mitt gifs or rank things in order of smugness or talk about dog breeding or post gifs of Patrick Bateman or talk about Taylor Swift or generally crap on people or whatever for the first time. How could we not give them our all? How could we not take every fiber of our being, every ounce of energy left over from living our chaotic and rewaring lives, and plow it into our songs and poems and posts and lists and everything we do to make this site a better place for the people of FF. That is what we do, every single day, what we've been doing for the better part of a decade. And the TASTYS are just a natural extension. The TASTYS are the premier awards show on the internet and we want to make them great again. 

How did these get cancelled?  Shame on you @iPwn

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Oh God. You asked for it. A few months ago thelawoffices and I went to Vegas to blow some cash. Normal trip, we were there for three days, can't tell you most of what happened, yada yada yada. Anyway some back story. For a few weeks TLO had been pursuing this girl. Let's call her Marvin. TLO was having a really hard time with this because Marvin seemed to be really into him but things didn't go very far. Or they did go very far (like her pants off in his bed far) but not past that and she was sending him mixed signals. So he'd been texting me these annoying messages about Marvin for days and days and I was sick of hearing about Marvin and I told him to shut the hell up about Marvin and enjoy his vacation. Fast forward to Friday night. I have a dream (it wasn't exactly a dream, kind of a hallucination, I was drifting in and out of consciousness all night) and in the dream Marvin was there. I've never met Marvin, seen pictures, but for some reason I pictured her as this morbidly obese old woman but somehow I knew that was Marvin. Anyway in the dream me, The Fat Marvin, TLO, and Derek Jeter were bowling and at point The Fat Marvin takes out a purse or backpack or something and starts picking out dead mice and EATING THEM like a snack or something. Whole dead mice. One of the mice was big, like actually a rat, and it jumped out of her bag and it started dancing to that song 'Hands' for ~30 seconds and slowly turned from black to grey to white and shriveled up and died. Blood started coming out of the walls like The Shining and then I woke up. Never in my life have I had a more vivid dream/hallucination. I can't get back to sleep. Finally at maybe sevenish I go get coffee and bang on TLO's door and make his lazy [inappropriate/removed] get out of bed cause I'm bored and I tell him this story and he's like 'uh ok' because y'all know TLO, he doesn't really know how to show his enthusiasm at seven in the morning. Whatever. Moving on... lunchtime... he starts getting these weird texts messages from Marvin like 'I'm at the hospital Sad' 'Is everything ok?' 'No Sad' and so on and so forth. And we get the full story. Marvin's grandmother (90 years old, raised her, live together, etc.) saw one of Marvin's pet mice in the kitchen late the night before, was startled, and fell over. Had to be rushed the hospital in a ambulance. Broken hip. You know. We look at each other and we're like 'wow, wtf?' and then start laughing our ***** off although looking back, that was probably not the appropriate response. TLO being the idiot that he is (I swear, I swear, I tried to stop him) texts back 'are they blind?' 'no she's not blind' 'no I mean the mice' and then he gets this: 'Ok [inappropriate/removed] that's really funny she has lung cancer and they just found it.' About a weak latter he sort of patches things up although he thinks she's still trying to avoid him but she agrees to go to Cheesecake Factory with him one night and he drives over to her house and as he gets out of his car he sees three mice, dead, their guts spilling out, blood flowing down the driveway. 

 

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