Nacho Simulation Football League (Season 26 - Taco Bowl XXVI Posted!)

[Scalamania]

@TheKillerNacho give me the moon. 

[Malfatron]

6 hours ago, TheKillerNacho said:

So uh... to @Malfatron, @Scalamania, @ravens5520, and anyone else who ever had a Dome stadium with exactly 50 precipitation setting: I found a bug today that made your teams worse on the road than originally intended!

You see, to compensate for the fact domed stadiums give an additional static passive buff to the home team during home games, they receive additional static passive debuffs if playing in weather not matching their stadiums settings. Since air only has two options, humid or dry, the check to see if one of these passive debuffs should be applied was determined simply by whether their precipitation setting was higher or lower than 50.

Except... I used a <= and >= for both of these checks... Which means for teams whose precipitation was set to exactly 50 received this debuff either way, in every away game not being played at an opposing domed stadium (while it was supposed to only be applied to around half of these games, depending on the precipitation settings of the opponents).

 

So uh, sorry. I fixed it though! If exactly 50 it now applies half of the normal debuff to every game rather than the full debuff (I was debating flipping a coin instead but I don't think there needs to be even more RNG dependence).

Can you bump up my prowess at home too?

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

8 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

Can you bump up my prowess at home too?

[EaglesPeteC]

Disappointed that my team doesn't seem as strong as last season, although I haven't really done much slider adjusting this season. I think my core will be even better in the sim next season because I have a lot of ascending youth like Hurts, Waddle, Devonta, Quinnen, Sauce and hopefully Stingley and Nolan Smith too. 

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

3 minutes ago, EaglesPeteC said:

Disappointed that my team doesn't seem as strong as last season, although I haven't really done much slider adjusting this season. I think my core will be even better in the sim next season because I have a lot of ascending youth like Hurts, Waddle, Devonta, Quinnen, Sauce and hopefully Stingley and Nolan Smith too. 

It, of course, starts and ends with Hurts, but that OLine play is terrifying. (And not in a good way.)

Erik McCoy [7 GS]: 6 pancakes, 3 sacks allowed, 14 stuffs allowed.
Jon Runyan Jr. [5 GS]: 7 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed, 13 stuffs allowed.

[ravens5520]

10 minutes ago, TL-TwoWinsAway said:

It, of course, starts and ends with Hurts, but that OLine play is terrifying. (And not in a good way.)

Erik McCoy [7 GS]: 6 pancakes, 3 sacks allowed, 14 stuffs allowed.
Jon Runyan Jr. [5 GS]: 7 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed, 13 stuffs allowed.

Geez… no sacks but that man can’t run block huh

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

1 minute ago, ravens5520 said:

Geez… no sacks but that man can’t run block huh

Two of the highest stuffs allowed in the league.

[EaglesPeteC]

4 minutes ago, TL-TwoWinsAway said:

Two of the highest stuffs allowed in the league.

I also think teams are loading their sliders against my run game too and sim Hurts hasn't seemed to be able to take as advantage of that as well as IRL Hurts can 

[Scoundrel]

19 minutes ago, EaglesPeteC said:

I also think teams are loading their sliders against my run game too and sim Hurts hasn't seemed to be able to take as advantage of that as well as IRL Hurts can 

He rushed for over 9 yards a carry and a TD against me. The problem is he only carried 3 times 

[EaglesPeteC]

5 minutes ago, Scoundrel said:

He rushed for over 9 yards a carry and a TD against me. The problem is he only carried 3 times 

Yeah, I wish the sim would let rushing QB’s run more but 🤷

[LAOJoe]

15 hours ago, Malfatron said:

@LAOJoe your move on power rankings

Going to feed in Succession and feel the pain

I delivered so where's the damn drama?

[Malfatron]

9 hours ago, LAOJoe said:

 WEEK 8 POWER RANKINGS

1. Rio de Janeiro Pirates (6-1, LW:2) - The Pirates regain their top spot in the rankings.
2. Greenland Polar Bears (5-2, LW:7) - The Polar Bears make their move and surprise the Ducks to steal the lead in the division.
3. Phoenix Rubber Ducks (5-2, LW:1) - It was a short reign at the top of the rankings but it's not time to worry yet.
4. Lake Minnesota Ice Orcas (5-2, LW:3) - They drop after a close win vs Scranton. The fall wasn't due to their performance though because the Polar Bears just moved on up like The Jeffersons.
5. Reykjavík Direwolves (5-2, LW:5) - They keep winning and they keep staying at #5. One has to think they are fine with this but frustration will set in if they keep winning and staying stagnant in the rankings.
6. Indianapolis Predators (4-3, LW:8) - They completely destroyed the Hornets.
7. Hanoi Viet Kongs (4-3, LW:9) - The Kongs are starting to show why they were considered early favourites.
8. Berlin Beer Bellies (4-3, LW:10) - Are Berlin getting drunk off their success? Do their Bellies have any more room for Ws?
9. Hamilton Hornets (4-3, LW:4) - That's 3 losses in a row and this time it wasn't close as they took the biggest L of week. 3rd down has become an issue on both sides of the ball and changes are coming.
10. Anchorage Amphibians (4-3, LW:11) - The Amphibians swallow the Blobfish whole.
11. New Zealand Blobfish (4-3, LW:6) - They still seem like an above-average team but they drop back into the bottom half of the rankings.
12. Egypt Starfalls (3-4, LW:15) - Another win keeps them in the hunt for the playoffs.
13. Wattsville Waste Walruses (3-4, LW:17) - With the win, Wattsville can start thinking about making a run again
14. Burlington Sock Puppets (3-4, LW:13) - A big missed opportunity vs Wattsville but their hopes from the preseason are still alive.
15. Little Rock Uni Royals (3-4, LW:12) - From expected wins you'd think they wouldn't drop from 12 but 3 straight losses needs to be punished.
16. Copenhagen Tables (2-5, LW:14) - The Tables got turned and they take the L this week.
17. Freiburg Venom (2-5, LW:16) - A tough loss. This team just keeps showing they are competitive but don't get enough results.
18. Tokyo Samurai (2-5, LW:18) - 5 straight losses. They are ready to drop further if Lancaster or Scranton can win another game.
19. Lancaster Fighting Amish (1-6, LW:19) - Another tough close loss to a good team. They are looking eerily similar to Freiburg, but with less results.
20. Scranton Papermakers (1-6, LW:20) - Ho hum.

GOTW
 Berlin Beer Bellies @ Greenland Polar Bears (MNF)

Prime Time:
 Anchorage Amphibians @ Hanoi Viet Kongs (SNF)
 Indianapolis Predators @ Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas (Sunday late)
 Tokyo Samurai @ Little Rock Uni Royals (Sunday early, UOTW. Somebody has to break their streak right?)

Thursday
  Wattsville Waste Walruses @ Rio de Janeiro Pirates (TNF)

Rest of WEEK 8 (Sat, July 29th)

Phoenix Rubber Ducks @ Freiburg Venom
Hamilton Hornets @ Burlington Sock Puppets
Egypt Starfalls @ Scranton Papermakers
New Zealand Blobfish @ Copenhagen Tables
Lancaster Fighting Amish @ Reykjavík Direwolves

heres the chatgpt power rankings based off of your input, but asking to equate each team with stephen spielburg characters:

Rio de Janeiro Pirates (6-1, LW:2) - Indiana Jones: Like the daring archaeologist, the Pirates reclaim their top spot with a whip-smart performance, outrunning rival teams just as Indy outruns boulders.

Greenland Polar Bears (5-2, LW:7) - E.T.: The Polar Bears, like the lovable extraterrestrial, make a heartwarming move and surprise everyone as they "phone home" their victory over the Ducks.

Phoenix Rubber Ducks (5-2, LW:1) - Jaws: The Ducks had a brief stint at the top, much like the Great White Shark in "Jaws." They might have been taken down for now, but their ferocity will resurface soon.

Lake Minnesota Ice Orcas (5-2, LW:3) - Elliot from "E.T.": The Ice Orcas drop a spot after narrowly defeating Scranton, just like Elliot's bike flying scene, where they were close to victory but not quite there.

Reykjavík Direwolves (5-2, LW:5) - Oskar Schindler: The Direwolves keep winning but stay put at #5, much like Schindler, who tirelessly saved lives but struggled to get the recognition he deserved.

Indianapolis Predators (4-3, LW:8) - Henry Jones Sr.: The Predators' performance was as adventurous as Indiana Jones' father, Henry Jones Sr., a bit absent-minded but a brilliant mind when it comes to tactics.

Hanoi Viet Kongs (4-3, LW:9) - Short Round from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom": The Viet Kongs are starting to show why they were considered early favorites, just like Short Round's quick wit and resourcefulness.

Berlin Beer Bellies (4-3, LW:10) - E.T.'s favorite Reese's Pieces: Berlin might be getting tipsy with success, much like E.T. after indulging in his favorite Reese's Pieces. But the Beer Bellies still have room for more victories!

Hamilton Hornets (4-3, LW:4) - Elliot's mom from "E.T.": The Hornets took a big hit this week, akin to Elliot's mom's struggles with household chaos in "E.T." Changes are coming to get back on track.

Anchorage Amphibians (4-3, LW:11) - Alan Grant from "Jurassic Park": The Amphibians swallow the Blobfish whole, just as Alan Grant confronted the wonders of Jurassic Park. They're ready to take on any challenge.

New Zealand Blobfish (4-3, LW:6) - The T-Rex from "Jurassic Park": The Blobfish might still seem above-average, but they drop in the rankings like the T-Rex after facing some unexpected competition.

Egypt Starfalls (3-4, LW:15) - Indiana Jones's rival archaeologist: Another win keeps them in the hunt for the playoffs, much like Indiana Jones's rival archaeologist, who's always one step behind.

Wattsville Waste Walruses (3-4, LW:17) - Goonies: With the win, Wattsville can start thinking about making a run again, much like the Goonies on their treasure hunt, finding unexpected fortunes.

Burlington Sock Puppets (3-4, LW:13) - Elliot's friendly Sock Puppet in "E.T.": A big missed opportunity vs. Wattsville, but their hopes from the preseason are still alive, just like Elliot's friendly Sock Puppet, even if slightly disappointed.

Little Rock Uni Royals (3-4, LW:12) - The Lost World explorers: From expected wins, you'd think they wouldn't drop, but three straight losses need to be punished, much like the explorers facing dinosaurs in "The Lost World."

Copenhagen Tables (2-5, LW:14) - Indiana Jones's fedora: The Tables got turned, taking the L this week, much like Indiana Jones's iconic fedora getting misplaced amidst the adventure.

Freiburg Venom (2-5, LW:16) - The villain from "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade": A tough loss. This team just keeps showing they are competitive but don't get enough results, much like the villain's unsuccessful quest for immortality.

Tokyo Samurai (2-5, LW:18) - E.T.'s spaceship: Five straight losses. They are ready to drop further if Lancaster or Scranton can win another game, much like E.T.'s spaceship longing to return home.

Lancaster Fighting Amish (1-6, LW:19) - Elliot's brother from "E.T.": Another tough close loss to a good team. They are looking eerily similar to Freiburg, but with fewer results, just like Elliot's caring but somewhat annoying brother.

Scranton Papermakers (1-6, LW:20) - E.T.'s communicator: Ho hum, like E.T.'s communicator, the Papermakers need a little help to get back on track.

 

 

[Malfatron]

3 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

GOTW
 Berlin Beer Bellies @ Greenland Polar Bears (MNF)

Prime Time:
 Anchorage Amphibians @ Hanoi Viet Kongs (SNF)
 Indianapolis Predators @ Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas (Sunday late)
 Tokyo Samurai @ Little Rock Uni Royals (Sunday early, UOTW. Somebody has to break their streak right?)

Thursday
  Wattsville Waste Walruses @ Rio de Janeiro Pirates (TNF)

Rest of WEEK 8 (Sat, July 29th)

Phoenix Rubber Ducks @ Freiburg Venom
Hamilton Hornets @ Burlington Sock Puppets
Egypt Starfalls @ Scranton Papermakers
New Zealand Blobfish @ Copenhagen Tables
Lancaster Fighting Amish @ Reykjavík Direwolves

Also, i would be remiss if i didnt also ask for predictions (i also fed in your power rankings for these too)

 

GOTW (Game of the Week)

Winner: Greenland Polar Bears
Reasoning: The Berlin Beer Bellies might have indulged in one too many Oktoberfest celebrations, leaving them sluggish on the field. Meanwhile, the Polar Bears have been on an ice-cold streak, and with their newfound momentum from surprising the Ducks, they'll chill out the Bellies with their frosty plays.

Prime Time:

Winner: Hanoi Viet Kongs
Reasoning: The Anchorage Amphibians might be great at adapting, but the Kongs have shown their early favorite status was no monkey business. They'll swing through the Amphibians' defense with tactical precision, proving that playing in the trees is a true advantage.

Winner: Indianapolis Predators
Reasoning: The Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas' icy reign might have impressed, but the Predators have an instinct for victory. They'll bring a ferocious blitz, making the Orcas feel like they're trapped in an icy grip, unable to escape.

 

Winner: Tokyo Samurai
Reasoning: The Little Rock Uni Royals might have had high expectations, but the Samurai have been honing their skills relentlessly. The Royals' armor won't be enough to stop the sharp precision strikes from the Samurai's katana-like offense.

Thursday Night Football (TNF):

Winner: Rio de Janeiro Pirates
Reasoning: The Wattsville Waste Walruses might have been making a stink in the rankings, but the Pirates are sailing on a triumphant course. The Pirates' ship will overwhelm the Walruses, turning their offensive attempts into nothing more than washed-up debris.

 

Rest of WEEK 8 (Sat, July 29th):

Winner: Phoenix Rubber Ducks
Reasoning: The Freiburg Venom might be venomous, but they can't compete with the Ducks' bouncy energy. The Rubber Ducks will quack their way to victory, bouncing around the field with agility that will leave the Venom perplexed.

Winner: Burlington Sock Puppets
Reasoning: The Hamilton Hornets might have stung their opponents before, but the Sock Puppets are threading their way to success. The Puppets will weave a strategic gameplan, making the Hornets feel like they're caught in a never-ending sock drawer.

 

Winner: Egypt Starfalls
Reasoning: The Scranton Papermakers might have some crafty plays, but the Starfalls have a celestial advantage. The Starfalls' cosmic power will shine on the field, turning the Papermakers' strategies into mere parchment.

Winner: New Zealand Blobfish
Reasoning: The Copenhagen Tables might have been turned before, but the Blobfish are a team to reckon with. The Blobfish will blob their way around the Tables' defenses, leaving them feeling like they're tangled in an abstract painting.

 

Winner: Reykjavík Direwolves
Reasoning: The Lancaster Fighting Amish might have a unique style of play, but the Direwolves have a wild determination. The Direwolves will unleash their pack mentality, making the Amish question if they should have brought their pitchforks to the game.

 

 

[LAOJoe]

10 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

Greenland Polar Bears (5-2, LW:7) - E.T.: The Polar Bears, like the lovable extraterrestrial, make a heartwarming move and surprise everyone as they "phone home" their victory over the Ducks.

WTF is this A.I.'s fascinating with E.T.?!

[Malfatron]

18 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

Copenhagen Tables (2-5, LW:14) - Indiana Jones's fedora: The Tables got turned, taking the L this week, much like Indiana Jones's iconic fedora getting misplaced amidst the adventure.