Nacho Simulation Football League (Season 26 - Taco Bowl XXVI Posted!)

[Malfatron]

Cut FB Lewis

Sign FB Keith Smith (ATL) and start

@TheKillerNacho

[EaglesPeteC]

10 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

Cut FB Lewis

Sign FB Keith Smith (ATL) and start

@TheKillerNacho

Big moves 

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

My Week 4 prediction:

Greenland Polar Bears @ Indianapolis Predators
Lancaster Fighting Amish @ Berlin Beer Bellies
Hamilton Hornets @ Tokyo Samurai
UOTW: New Zealand Blobfish @ Egypt Starfalls
Little Rock Uni Royals @ Copenhagen Tables
Scranton Papermakers @ Rio de Janeiro Pirates
Reykjavík Direwolves @ Wattsville Waste Walruses
Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas @ Freiburg Venom
GOTW: Hanoi Viet Kongs @ Phoenix Rubber Ducks
Burlington Sock Puppets @ Anchorage Amphibians

S26 Record: 16-4

Notes: I have LAN @ BER and REY @ WAT as toss-ups. I think these games will be extremely close, and I'm essentially allowing HFA to break the tie. Hurts continues to show his youth with a few more turnovers and EGY enjoys a bit of luck in the RAMPETE bowl. I didn't want to bet against PHO - again - but HAN rebounds after a tough loss against RIO and takes a tight one on the road.

[LAOJoe]

GOTW
Hanoi vs Phoenix (MNF)

Prime Time:
Hamilton @ Tokyo (SNF, for Tokyo TV)
Greenland @ Indianapolis (Sunday late)
Reykjavik @ Wattsville (Sunday early)

Thursday
New Zealand @ Egypt

FYI by Prime Time I mean it's the top game during their window on National TV. So 1 Monday Night, 1 Sunday Night, 1 Sunday Late Afternoon. With Thursday or Early Sunday afternoon being a 4th one for GOTW (in any window). This week Thursday is an Egypt showcase. NSFL controls all scheduling so the fans never miss an anticipated game BC they were stuck watching another, nor does the league gaf about prime time limits.

[LAOJoe]

1 hour ago, TL-TwoWinsAway said:

My Week 4 prediction:

Greenland Polar Bears @ Indianapolis Predators
Lancaster Fighting Amish @ Berlin Beer Bellies
Hamilton Hornets @ Tokyo Samurai
UOTW: New Zealand Blobfish @ Egypt Starfalls
Little Rock Uni Royals @ Copenhagen Tables
Scranton Papermakers @ Rio de Janeiro Pirates
Reykjavík Direwolves @ Wattsville Waste Walruses
Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas @ Freiburg Venom
GOTW: Hanoi Viet Kongs @ Phoenix Rubber Ducks
Burlington Sock Puppets @ Anchorage Amphibians

S26 Record: 16-4

Notes: I have LAN @ BER and REY @ WAT as toss-ups. I think these games will be extremely close, and I'm essentially allowing HFA to break the tie. Hurts continues to show his youth with a few more turnovers and EGY enjoys a bit of luck in the RAMPETE bowl. I didn't want to bet against PHO - again - but HAN rebounds after a tough loss against RIO and takes a tight one on the road.

I really like the Blobfish so I can't pick against them. Give me Lancaster, barely, and the Direwolves. I agree they are both tough picks.

Also watch out for Burlington and Tokyo, but I like Anchorage and my team.

[EaglesPeteC]

2 hours ago, TL-TwoWinsAway said:

My Week 4 prediction:

Greenland Polar Bears @ Indianapolis Predators
Lancaster Fighting Amish @ Berlin Beer Bellies
Hamilton Hornets @ Tokyo Samurai
UOTW: New Zealand Blobfish @ Egypt Starfalls
Little Rock Uni Royals @ Copenhagen Tables
Scranton Papermakers @ Rio de Janeiro Pirates
Reykjavík Direwolves @ Wattsville Waste Walruses
Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas @ Freiburg Venom
GOTW: Hanoi Viet Kongs @ Phoenix Rubber Ducks
Burlington Sock Puppets @ Anchorage Amphibians

S26 Record: 16-4

Notes: I have LAN @ BER and REY @ WAT as toss-ups. I think these games will be extremely close, and I'm essentially allowing HFA to break the tie. Hurts continues to show his youth with a few more turnovers and EGY enjoys a bit of luck in the RAMPETE bowl. I didn't want to bet against PHO - again - but HAN rebounds after a tough loss against RIO and takes a tight one on the road.

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

56 minutes ago, LAOJoe said:

I really like the Blobfish so I can't pick against them. Give me Lancaster, barely, and the Direwolves. I agree they are both tough picks.

Also watch out for Burlington and Tokyo, but I like Anchorage and my team.

NE @ EGY was a tough one for me initially. Two things swayed me: not a huge sample size, of course, but you can't love the inefficiency from Hurts.

Jalen Hurts [3 GS]: 42/75 (56.00%, 81.97 Rating) for 398 yards, 5 touchdowns, 2 interceptions. 16 carries for 186 yards (11.62 YPC, 22 LNG), 0 touchdowns, 2 fumbles.

Deshaun Watson [3 GS]: 66/109 (60.55%, 87.18 Rating) for 786 yards, 4 touchdowns, 2 interceptions. 7 carries for 20 yards (2.86 YPC, 5 LNG), 0 touchdowns.

Egypt Starfalls
Net Points: -1
Time of Possession: 47.33%
Turnover Differential: 2

The sim is pretty tough on young/unproven players, so seeing that line from Hurts is concerning. He's dangerous on the ground (his gaudy YPC is leading the league by a wide margin), but the ball security presents another issue. He averaged only one turnover per game in S25, so it's not to say that he's destined to be a liability in S26, but, again, his sim youth creates lots of uncertainty. (The Egypt front seven is also tough.) Considering Egypt's TD so far this year, I had to lean towards Egypt in what feels like a RAMPETE upset.

[Malfatron]

Chatgpt, current record is 11-9

 

Greenland Polar Bears 3, Indianapolis Predators 0

In a bone-chilling face-off at the Indianapolis Predators' home turf, the Greenland Polar Bears managed to break the ice and claim a frozen victory. The Polar Bears, accustomed to the frigid temperatures of their homeland, showed the Predators what it means to be truly "cool" on the football field. Despite their ferocious reputation, the Predators couldn't weather the polar onslaught and ended up shivering in defeat.

Lancaster Fighting Amish 21, Berlin Beer Bellies 20

In a clash of cultures and waistlines on the Berlin Beer Bellies' home field, the Lancaster Fighting Amish emerged as the slimmest of victors. The Fighting Amish, known for their disciplined lifestyle and lack of technological distractions, brought their butter-churning skills to the gridiron. The Beer Bellies, with their love for frothy beverages and hearty snacks, put up a stout fight but couldn't resist the determined onslaught of the butter-churning Amish. It was a game that left spectators both entertained and hungry for a bratwurst.

Hamilton Hornets 35, Tokyo Samurai 7

In a buzzworthy showdown at the Tokyo Samurai's home stadium, the Hamilton Hornets stung their opponents with an electrifying performance. The Hornets, inspired by their namesake insects, showcased their lightning-fast speed and precision on the field. The Samurai, skilled in the art of the sword but less familiar with the ways of the pigskin, found themselves on the receiving end of a gridiron katana. It was a match that left the Samurai contemplating the merits of incorporating football pads into their traditional armor.

New Zealand Blobfish 42, Egypt Starfalls 0

In an aquatic expedition on the Egypt Starfalls' home turf, the New Zealand Blobfish proved that football can indeed be a deep-sea sport. The Blobfish, known for their unconventional looks and jelly-like demeanors, floated their way to a landslide victory. With their squishy bodies and unparalleled underwater maneuvers, the Blobfish rendered the Starfalls helpless and left them singing the blues. It was a game that had spectators in awe and marine biologists scratching their heads.

Little Rock Uni Royals 10, Copenhagen Tables 3

In a clash of pomp and practicality at the Copenhagen Tables' home stadium, the Little Rock Uni Royals emerged as the reigning kings of football. The Royals, adorned in their regal uniforms and crowned with confidence, treated the field like their own kingdom. The Tables, famous for their minimalist design and functional approach, valiantly defended their home territory. However, they couldn't escape the grandeur and royal decree of the Uni Royals, who secured their victory with a touch of majesty.

Scranton Papermakers 14, Rio de Janeiro Pirates 13

In an imaginative showdown at the Rio de Janeiro Pirates' home port, the Scranton Papermakers managed to outwit their pirate adversaries and sail to victory. Armed with their colorful playbooks and a keen sense of mischief, the Papermakers used origami formations and confetti distractions to baffle the Pirates. The pirates, accustomed to searching for buried treasure rather than reading X's and O's, couldn't quite decipher the Papermakers' paper-based strategy. In the end, it was a win for the arts and crafts enthusiasts who proved that football can be as entertaining as a carnival.

Reykjavík Direwolves 28, Wattsville Waste Walruses 6

In a mythical encounter at the Wattsville Waste Walruses' home stadium, the Reykjavík Direwolves unleashed their Viking fury and conquered their unsuspecting opponents. The Direwolves, tapping into their ancient Norse heritage, howled their way to victory with a ferocious display of power and cunning. The bewildered Walruses, caught off guard by the sudden invasion of the Arctic predators, could only flip their whiskers in confusion. It was a game that left spectators wondering if the Direwolves had borrowed Odin's playbook.

Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas 28, Freiburg Venom 7

In a chilling showdown at the Freiburg Venom's home field, the Lake Minnewanka Ice Orcas froze out their adversaries and swam to victory. The Orcas, masters of the frozen seas, displayed their impeccable swimming skills on the football field. With their icy precision and dorsal-fin finesse, they glided past the bewildered Venom, who found themselves slipping and sliding like misplaced eels. It was a game that left spectators pondering whether a penguin should be the official mascot of American football.

Hanoi Viet Kongs 35, Phoenix Rubber Ducks 0

In a battle of military might and rubbery charm at the Phoenix Rubber Ducks' home pond, the Hanoi Viet Kongs launched an offensive blitz that left the Ducks quacking for mercy. The Viet Kongs, with their disciplined ranks and strategic precision, proved that warfare and football have more in common than meets the eye. The poor Rubber Ducks, their inflatable defenses no match for the Viet Kongs' relentless assault, found themselves hopelessly deflated. It was a game that had both veterans and bath toy enthusiasts wondering if rubber ducks have what it takes to wage a gridiron battle.

Burlington Sock Puppets 17, Anchorage Amphibians 14

In a whimsical showdown at the Anchorage Amphibians' home swamp, the Burlington Sock Puppets managed to put on a sock-tacular performance and snagged a narrow victory. With their colorful yarn jerseys and playful antics, the Sock Puppets captivated the audience with their sock-sessful plays. The versatile Amphibians, with their ability to transition from land to water, tried their best to hop their way to victory. However, they underestimated the sheer sock-er power and creativity of the Puppets, who celebrated their win with a joyous puppet dance.

 

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

12 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

It was a game that had spectators in awe and marine biologists scratching their heads.

The bewildered Walruses, caught off guard by the sudden invasion of the Arctic predators, could only flip their whiskers in confusion.

In a battle of military might and rubbery charm at the Phoenix Rubber Ducks' home pond, the Hanoi Viet Kongs launched an offensive blitz that left the Ducks quacking for mercy.

In a whimsical showdown at the Anchorage Amphibians' home swamp, the Burlington Sock Puppets managed to put on a sock-tacular performance and snagged a narrow victory. With their colorful yarn jerseys and playful antics, the Sock Puppets captivated the audience with their sock-sessful plays.

Dude... those lines are gold.

[EaglesPeteC]

33 minutes ago, Malfatron said:

New Zealand Blobfish 42, Egypt Starfalls 0

In an aquatic expedition on the Egypt Starfalls' home turf, the New Zealand Blobfish proved that football can indeed be a deep-sea sport. The Blobfish, known for their unconventional looks and jelly-like demeanors, floated their way to a landslide victory. With their squishy bodies and unparalleled underwater maneuvers, the Blobfish rendered the Starfalls helpless and left them singing the blues. It was a game that had spectators in awe and marine biologists scratching their heads.

AI knows what’s up 

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

1 minute ago, EaglesPeteC said:

AI knows what’s up 

I felt immediately less confident in my prediction once I read that. AI might have me here.

[LAOJoe]

ChatGPT hates home teams lol. Also "The Beer Bellies, with their love for frothy beverages and hearty snacks, put up a stout fight" I wonder if that pun was intentional.

[TL-TwoWinsAway]

27 minutes ago, LAOJoe said:

ChatGPT hates home teams lol. Also "The Beer Bellies, with their love for frothy beverages and hearty snacks, put up a stout fight" I wonder if that pun was intentional.

Judging by the rest of those outstanding puns: must've been. So good.

[Scalamania]

On 7/14/2023 at 5:43 PM, Glen said:

Anyone with a true WR wanna make a deal?

Feeling adventerous  

Davante is available but he’ll cost a lot. Slide in and lets chat. 

[El Ramster]

Trading Hunter for a first..