Dark Souls Mafia - GAME OVER - BOSSES WIN!!

[The Orca]

2 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Not started by others. 

I said those. I was the one who started the cheating talk. I regret it because you two proved I was wrong. But that doesnt change that you two can be immature d**ks to others, So we are kinda veering off path. Just be nicer. 

 

I've tried that but when someone is getting lynched and either me or Pickle are a part of it...that argument in some manner gets thrown around probably at an asinine clip

[swoosh]

36 minutes ago, Ragnarok said:

The trick is to drink.  If you can't remember that last game, you can't take anything from it.

[The Orca]

8 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

I have had serious grudges against @Dome and @theuntouchable. Neither of them will tell you I let it screw up a game or make people quit.

You two took it to far. "reasons" or not.

Just figure a way to take the emotions out. 

When we tried, mods got called in cause sweetie and buttercup annoyed people and offended people. I cant believe that is an actual statement lol

You see the issue here. I've also tried not talking in games and that annoyed people. What can I do that doesnt annoy people, cause that's really the issue people are having imo 

Edited May 12, 2020 by The Orca

[Pickle Rick]

1 minute ago, The Orca said:

When we tried, mods got called in cause sweetie and buttercup annoyed people and offended people. I cant believe that is an actual statement lol

"Buttercup" it wasn't that it annoyed people, it was considered a personal attack.  That is part of the issue. I mean holy bleeping hell

[Dome]

5 minutes ago, The Orca said:

When we tried, mods got called in cause sweetie and buttercup annoyed people and offended people. I cant believe that is an actual statement lol

You see the issue here. I've also tried not talking in games and that annoyed people. What can I do that doesnt annoy people, cause that's really the issue people are having imo 

The issue wasn’t the specific words, it’s being condescended to immediately following a mafia ban due to people not playing nicely 

[SwAg]

18 minutes ago, Dome said:

I don’t think anyone should be absolved of all fault. At some time or another everyone is guilty of going too far.

But there are some common denominators (like Bucs eluded to) that seem to find themselves in almost everyone one of these breakdowns. 

Mafia can survive fights, it did for years. This is something else IMO

I agree completely.

I take no responsibility for any of it.

[The Orca]

Just now, Dome said:

The issue wasn’t the specific words, it’s being condescended to immediately following a mafia ban due to people not playing nicely 

The core of my only PMs to Bucs (like 6 messages total lol) was how some people take things one way and others another. It was not meant to be condescending and where we are from it's a degree of nicety. It was an attempt to be nicer not condescending in the time following the mafia ban

The other issue I raised, was I used the terms for like a month plus and not one person said a word about it in any manner or medium. How did it suddenly become a problem?

If you want to be under the stance that its condescending and that's bad, calling someone failtown, awful, garbage, etc over and over doesnt get your attention? Why didnt people complain to mods about that? Its cause of who used it and who it was directed towards. Double standard hypocrisy imo 

 

[Ragnarok]

5 minutes ago, The Orca said:

The core of my only PMs to Bucs (like 6 messages total lol) was how some people take things one way and others another. It was not meant to be condescending and where we are from it's a degree of nicety. It was an attempt to be nicer not condescending in the time following the mafia ban

The other issue I raised, was I used the terms for like a month plus and not one person said a word about it in any manner or medium. How did it suddenly become a problem?

If you want to be under the stance that its condescending and that's bad, calling someone failtown, awful, garbage, etc over and over doesnt get your attention? Why didnt people complain to mods about that? Its cause of who used it and who it was directed towards. Double standard hypocrisy imo 

 

In that case, I think it was the frequency/consistency of use.  If every time someone posts, I reply with "Bless your heart", at some point, that'll get real old.

You have to mix it up in how you tell someone they're awful in a game.

[Scoundrel]

Dome seems to be the only one getting it. 

[SwAg]

This is my take on the situation:

It's not an issue of whether someone is on a personal vendetta or not.  Nor is it an issue of whether you believe the vendetta can be proven.  None of us will truly know whether such a vendetta existed by anyone, but the accusation of it facilitates the type of conflict the Mods are concerned about.  The discussion on this topic spiraled out of control this time around.

Whether MWil put you two under undue scrutiny due to a grudge, or whether you two believe that to be the case, is not the issue.  The issue is how it manifested in the game.  It is not easy to leave that type of thing at the door, and it is especially not easy when you believe it to be true.  But, you have to do so, at least initially.  You are allowed to think it.  You are allowed for it to inform your actions.  But, you should not have that be at the forefront of the game, or even used as a device in the game.

These next two sentences are where the Mods will not like my answer:  I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you're not allowed to be frustrated if X is spamming you with their hundredth accusation that is barely plausible, let alone credible.  And in that scenario, describing that behavior as a fixation would be apt. 

My advice generally and in the above scenario is that you can balk at the question, refuse to respond, explain your refusal to respond, or accept the risk that accompanies a lack of response in terms of game-related consequences.  Another way to navigate is to convince others that the accusations do not warrant a response, then you can spare yourself the frustration. But, you owe it to the other participants to at least attempt to play within the confines of the game.

I think this might be the most important takeaway, so even if you disagree with everything else, I would take this to heart:  it is a game of rhetoric and deception, and when you make the rhetoric about an event that is beyond the current game, it's asking people to make a judgment that they might not be comfortable with making because you're asking them to make a personal assessment on the character and vice of another player.  In this instance, the discussion absolutely spiraled, while others tried to bring the discussion back to the game, and there was a refusal.  I think that is the catalyst beyond the events that lead to it. 

I don't think MWil did anything wrong at the outset of the game, but definitely contributed to the deterioration until he asked to be removed.  To my recollection, MWil voiced concerns that were game-related and based on game posture, as he understood the game.  Later, we discovered he was mistaken, or lied, but lying about game-related events is expected and a non-issue within the rules.  We even have a decent comparison here: you cannot explain why it is okay for Rick to fake an investigation on Counselor, but not okay for MWil to fake an investigation on one of you.  The summarily dismissed accusation based on external factors and fighting over it caused the issue.  It's not an argument that can be settled within the confines of the game, and thus lends itself to a decline in the quality of the thread and gameplay.

So, I would recommend taking this advice.  It's as good as you'll get.  You do not have to accept fault, and really, you do not even have to stop feeling a certain way.  You just have to internalize and channel it into a game-related conversation.

Edited May 12, 2020 by SwAg
Facilitates

[TOUCAN]

3 minutes ago, Counselor said:

Dome seems to be the only one getting it. 

Speaking of getting it.

How about that vote?

[Dome]

2 minutes ago, The Orca said:

The core of my only PMs to Bucs (like 6 messages total lol) was how some people take things one way and others another. It was not meant to be condescending and where we are from it's a degree of nicety. It was an attempt to be nicer not condescending in the time following the mafia ban

If you are using a nice word sarcastically, it’s going to come off as condescending every time.

Even if that wasn’t your intention, you were told at the time you were being condescending and you continued it anyways. If your purpose really was to be nice and polite and you somehow just botched it that badly, you wouldn’t have ignored the people who told you they felt like you were being condescending.
 

You doubled down when that happened. That’s not nice and friendly, it’s obnoxious and instigating.

If you’re going to take that route, take it. Don’t try to backtrack later like you were being genuine.

 

2 minutes ago, The Orca said:

The other issue I raised, was I used the terms for like a month plus and not one person said a word about it in any manner or medium. How did it suddenly become a problem?

Do you remember when Mafia got banned for name calling and people not being nice?

There is your answer.

 

2 minutes ago, The Orca said:

If you want to be under the stance that its condescending and that's bad, calling someone failtown, awful, garbage, etc over and over doesnt get your attention? Why didnt people complain to mods about that? Its cause of who used it and who it was directed towards. Double standard hypocrisy imo 

I think there should be a distinction between game related names that serve a purpose to prove your point about the game (like mission saying swag was full of ****, or calling someone failtown) and names that are simply tacked on to an argument and only there to serve the purpose of insulting/inciting someone

but yes, to an extent,  you have a good point here 

[The Orca]

2 minutes ago, Ragnarok said:

In that case, I think it was the frequency/consistency of use.  If every time someone posts, I reply with "Bless your heart", at some point, that'll get real old.

You have to mix it up in how you tell someone they're awful in a game.

The bottom was directed towards me cause I wouldnt answer a question and after a while it was replied back to them. If no one has a problem with the first person, you cant say it's wrong on the 2nd person and not call out the first person 

[SwAg]

4 minutes ago, Ragnarok said:

In that case, I think it was the frequency/consistency of use.  If every time someone posts, I reply with "Bless your heart", at some point, that'll get real old.

You have to mix it up in how you tell someone they're awful in a game.

Well, we all know bless your heart means "eat **** and die" in the South, so you're not pulling the wool over my eyes there.

[Ragnarok]

1 minute ago, The Orca said:

The bottom was directed towards me cause I wouldnt answer a question and after a while it was replied back to them. If no one has a problem with the first person, you cant say it's wrong on the 2nd person and not call out the first person 

I actually think Swag's post touches on a lot of the right points.