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Relationship Advice Thread

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Since BornToFly isn't on the new forums (And looks like she hasn't been around for a while), I'll go ahead and start the new Relationship advice thread. I'm not the best, but I'll throw in my two cents.

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Planning a wedding - trying to gauge how little I can get involved in and get away with.

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1 minute ago, texans_uk said:

Planning a wedding - trying to gauge how little I can get involved in and get away with.

Haha, that's a loaded question. It completely depends on  your fiance. I was pretty involved in stuff when I got married, but I wanted to be and I actually visualize what something looks like better than my wife can, so that helped with making decisions. But know how involved your fiance wants you to be. You'll probably get sucked into creating guest list, location, officient, picking food and cake probably. Beyond that, stuff like flowers, colors, stuff like that, you might be able to avoid.

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@The Gnat to be honest my fiancée will say "oh I'm not really too bothered about x, y or z" then when I come up with a suggestion it gets shot down pretty quickly. We're in that horrible middle ground where she pretends like we are equals but ultimately everything is her decision, which I'm fine with, but I'd just love to draw a line under it and let her plan it all. 

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Ugh, that's annoying.

I'd then just always say something like: "Oh, I think you should decide this one." or "You've done such as good job on the other decisions, you should make this one." and toss in a few, "I really like what this is going to look like." just try and get your fiancee to make the decision as quickly as possible so it eats up less of your time.

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9 minutes ago, The Gnat said:

Ugh, that's annoying.

I'd then just always say something like: "Oh, I think you should decide this one." or "You've done such as good job on the other decisions, you should make this one." and toss in a few, "I really like what this is going to look like." just try and get your fiancee to make the decision as quickly as possible so it eats up less of your time.

I'm laughing typing this but even though the decisions have to be hers, she's also indecisive xD. Be lucky to have a wedding at this rate! 

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6 minutes ago, texans_uk said:

I'm laughing typing this but even though the decisions have to be hers, she's also indecisive

Oh boy! Lucky you.

Next piece of advice is instead of giving advice on what to do or leaving her in control of what to do as my first two things, maybe shoot at removing stuff. So if she's going with "We could do X, Y, or Z." don't give a suggestion, come up with a removal. Well, 'X' would be more expensive or 'Y' would take too long to get ready or be too  much work.

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37 minutes ago, texans_uk said:

Planning a wedding - trying to gauge how little I can get involved in and get away with.

I just finished planning a wedding (date is September 30th) and I wasn't involved with anything besides the guest list, food, cake, and DJ. Like @The Gnat said, it really depends on your fiance. Find a good pastor to marry you as well. Ours required four 2 hour sessions of pre-marital counseling and while I wasn't looking forward to doing it.. it was by far the most beneficial thing we have done since getting engaged. Your pastor will sit you down and talk about all the things that you and your SO may not have thought about. It was a great way for us to learn even more about each other and has drastically improved our communication (wasn't bad to begin with) and relationship as a whole. 

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1 hour ago, texans_uk said:

Planning a wedding - trying to gauge how little I can get involved in and get away with.

The goal there is to do stuff that makes it seem like you are doing work. Search for venue, caterer, DJ, Alcohol, etc.

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58 minutes ago, packerrfan74 said:

Find a good pastor to marry you as well. Ours required four 2 hour sessions of pre-marital counseling

How much did he charge for that :D

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Just now, packerrfan74 said:

It was completely free and required.

That's nice of him and makes him an exception to my admittedly very limited experiences with pastors & weddings.

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5 minutes ago, cddolphin said:

That's nice of him and makes him an exception to my admittedly very limited experiences with pastors & weddings.

Yeah. It's a profitable business.. weddings and churches. But when I asked him about payment (because I was expecting him to charge) he told me it's completely my decision and to pay what I can afford. I think we'll cut him a check for around $400 on the wedding day.

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