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Relationship Advice Thread


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10 hours ago, Kiwibrown said:

Ask out G1, she is keen as a mung bean. Relationship wise. If you like her ask her out. If you don't don't. Also coffee is coffee, not a full blown relationship.  

This.  And don't take her out to "celebrate her birthday" IMO.  Unless by that you mean offer to buy her a birthday drink sometime, aka go for drinks.

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12 hours ago, CWood21 said:

I don't really see anything there with Girl 2, especially if she brought up the fact that she had a BF without being prompted.  Girl 1 seems interested, I don't know what you have to lose by asking her out.  She might have just been uncomfortable in social settings with people she doesn't know, and doesn't want to seem to clingy.

I'm with CWood here.

Girl 2 sounds like she falls somehere between a fun, flirty freak and all all out skeezer.  Prolly best to avoid either way IMO unless all you want is some adult companionship.

Girl 1 on the other hand does sound interested, at least the way you've described her. Buck up and ask her out.

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Stay away from Girl 2. Trouble about anyway that you cut it:

She has a boyfriend. If you ask her out and she says yes while having a boyfriend, she'll do the same to you down the road. If you ask her out/she says no, she'll probably be offended because she's already told you. Also, somewhere in this, good chance said boyfriend is upset and comes looking for you.

I'd ask Girl 1 out. She seems interested/appropriately flirty. If not, no worries. I asked a girl out in my friend group once and she accepted, although later wasn't interested in pursuing more. No worries. We're still pretty good friends and the awkward 1-2 week period faded after a month.

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I was chatting with a girl on OkCupid.  Just 'getting to know you stuff'  She said she was 23 and a single mom.  We were chatting for a bit and I mentioned I work tomorrow but I could stay on for a bit longer.  A couple minutes after that she says that she thinks I'm not interested in her and no longer wants to chat.  I said I am interested and was asking questions about her.  The last of it goes like this:

Her: Yeah I see what you're doing

Me: What do you mean?

Her: nothing bye

WTF?  Was I not asking the right questions or something?  Or is she immature? 

 

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13 hours ago, Bowler1215 said:

I was chatting with a girl on OkCupid.  Just 'getting to know you stuff'  She said she was 23 and a single mom.  We were chatting for a bit and I mentioned I work tomorrow but I could stay on for a bit longer.  A couple minutes after that she says that she thinks I'm not interested in her and no longer wants to chat.  I said I am interested and was asking questions about her.  The last of it goes like this:

Her: Yeah I see what you're doing

Me: What do you mean?

Her: nothing bye

WTF?  Was I not asking the right questions or something?  Or is she immature? 

 

sounds like she has been dumped before for being a single mom, is hyper sensitive to it, and mistakenly lumped you in with the other guys who have done it to her. regardless, she has put up a wall against you and isn't listening/evaluating you fairly. so move on, and don't think you did anything wrong.

can't win 'em all, you know.

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you can leave it though with a polite and respectful comment, that leaves moving forward up to her. which you then can assess as to your interest, depending on what she says. something like...

"Hey, I think you've misunderstood me. I'm not putting you down in any way for being a single mom, if anything it makes me respect you more. It's wrong if other guys have ignored you because of that. If you want to chat some time then feel free to get back with me. If not, I wish you the best."

you come out out looking like the good guy you are, and you defended yourself so to speak. maybe she can rise up to that and there could be something there for the two of you, maybe she just isn't ready or able to do that yet. but you gave her the chance to.

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A few minutes after that she messages me with  'What do you want from me?'  I said I was hoping to make friends possibly a girlfriend.  She said she was sorry, I forgave her and we chatted a little more until I went to bed.  She also wanted me to take her out on a date after chatting for 20 minutes or so, is that normal these days?  I don't know if shes on the rebound, or what.  Or does she think all guys are like her ex(abusive, left when she told him she was pregnant)  I guess my best play here is to just proceed with caution.  But if she pulls crap like that again, bye.

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57 minutes ago, Bowler1215 said:

A few minutes after that she messages me with  'What do you want from me?'  I said I was hoping to make friends possibly a girlfriend.  She said she was sorry, I forgave her and we chatted a little more until I went to bed.  She also wanted me to take her out on a date after chatting for 20 minutes or so, is that normal these days?  I don't know if shes on the rebound, or what.  Or does she think all guys are like her ex(abusive, left when she told him she was pregnant)  I guess my best play here is to just proceed with caution.  But if she pulls crap like that again, bye.

Id be super cautious. 
Its not just you and her, there is a child involved as well. It is hard on them when guys come and go. 

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43 minutes ago, Kiwibrown said:

Id be super cautious. 
Its not just you and her, there is a child involved as well. It is hard on them when guys come and go. 

We were chatting and she said the same 'You're not interested in me' crap again, so bye.  I'm temped to send her a message that says 'if I wasn't interested in you why would I waste out time getting to know you?' something along those lines.  Not sure if I should though.  but as of now, moving on. 

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7 minutes ago, Bowler1215 said:

We were chatting and she said the same 'You're not interested in me' crap again, so bye.  I'm temped to send her a message that says 'if I wasn't interested in you why would I waste out time getting to know you?' something along those lines.  Not sure if I should though.  but as of now, moving on. 

good call man. 

keep at it and you will find a nice lady. 

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