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Relationship Advice Thread


scar988

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  • 1 month later...

I have a dilemma. I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, I used to mess around with one of her best friends. Nobody knows but me and her. We have had a friendship since, I’m not sure why, but I still have some sort of feelings for her. Occasion she comes over to our house. One of the times she came over she didn’t have a ride and I took her home and told her i felt something for her. She felt the same. I have 2 kids with my wife, I care about her. I’m just kinda torn on what to do

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3 minutes ago, Manny/Patrick said:

I have a dilemma. I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, I used to mess around with one of her best friends. Nobody knows but me and her. We have had a friendship since, I’m not sure why, but I still have some sort of feelings for her. Occasion she comes over to our house. One of the times she came over she didn’t have a ride and I took her home and told her i felt something for her. She felt the same. I have 2 kids with my wife, I care about her. I’m just kinda torn on what to do

I would advise you don’t pursue the feelings. Let them be just what they are. Feelings. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You have a wife and two kids. Be happy with the life you have. Some of us have lost what you have, some of us wish they could have it. 

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Just now, Counselor said:

I would advise you don’t pursue the feelings. Let them be just what they are. Feelings. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You have a wife and two kids. Be happy with the life you have. Some of us have lost what you have, some of us wish they could have it. 

I appreciate the feedback, I just feel more comfortable with her than my wife. I respect my marriage and wouldn’t cheat on her. Would you recommend marriage counseling?

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2 minutes ago, Manny/Patrick said:

I appreciate the feedback, I just feel more comfortable with her than my wife. I respect my marriage and wouldn’t cheat on her. Would you recommend marriage counseling?

I do think Counseling can help. It can help unlock some perspective that maybe you or her haven’t taken on. I guess really what I would ask is the purpose of the counseling to help you make a decision on if you should continue your marriage, or pursue this friend? Or are you pursuing counseling to commit to whatever it takes to repair/strengthen your marriage? 

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4 minutes ago, Counselor said:

I do think Counseling can help. It can help unlock some perspective that maybe you or her haven’t taken on. I guess really what I would ask is the purpose of the counseling to help you make a decision on if you should continue your marriage, or pursue this friend? Or are you pursuing counseling to commit to whatever it takes to repair/strengthen your marriage? 

I’m not sure

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9 hours ago, Manny/Patrick said:

I have a dilemma. I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, I used to mess around with one of her best friends. Nobody knows but me and her. We have had a friendship since, I’m not sure why, but I still have some sort of feelings for her. Occasion she comes over to our house. One of the times she came over she didn’t have a ride and I took her home and told her i felt something for her. She felt the same. I have 2 kids with my wife, I care about her. I’m just kinda torn on what to do

It sounds like you have a good thing going. Unless you have big marriage problems already, I'm not sure why you'd mess with it

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16 minutes ago, vikesfan89 said:

I went on a date with a girl that I've been talking to for a little while and pretty much turned down a second date. Now I feel bad

Meh, it happens.  Shrug it off and move on.

Isnt this a better scenario than the chick agreeing to a few more dates (read: dinners and hundreds of dollars) if she’s not digging you?

Besides, frees you up to go snag the next one.

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1 hour ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

Meh, it happens.  Shrug it off and move on.

Isnt this a better scenario than the chick agreeing to a few more dates (read: dinners and hundreds of dollars) if she’s not digging you?

Besides, frees you up to go snag the next one.

TBH I'm a little surprised that she was still interested. Maybe it was I didn't try super hard or she thought I was desperate. She did offer to split the bill so it wasn't that.

Side note: I saw a we ID sign with the date and the year was 1998. It took me a little while to wrap my head around that. Made me feel old

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