Body Positivity

[TOUCAN]

Hello fellow members of a predominately male website. I come to you with a question, and mods if this gets out of hand, you can lock this thread. For some reason, the bot on reddit keeps flagging me, but it's honestly just for research purposes.

Body positivity is a pretty hot button topic in the world these days, but as a man, I feel like there are times where this topic is only pertaining to womens body standards.

Let me elaborate.

I'm losing weight, but for the most part my entire life I've been a bigger guy. Also as a bigger guy, I like more form fitting clothing than I do baggy (I think baggy clothes on a big man like myself is slovenly but thats just me). Old Navy is running a great body positivity campaign, but in my mind it feels like it's a female exclusive thing. They parade out plus sized models for women and show them in their clothing, but men don't get the same treatment. I'm aware of some of the privileges I have as a man, but in my mind, to an extent it makes me feel like my perspective doesn't matter.

Look, I have a great way about my personal style, I'm pretty cognizant about what I own, wear, and like so putting myself into something really isn't hard, but I am not the rule. I have friends who shy away from things because they don't see themselves in it because it doesn't seem like their body types are embraced. My thought is I just want to see body equality passed along from person to person regardless of sex.

I just wanted to see if I can get some other peoples respectful perspectives.

[Matts4313]

Im just here to support Josh cause this thread is dumb. But its dumb in a good way, so power to my friendo since no one else has the balls to respond. 

[Ty21]

25 minutes ago, Matts4313 said:

Im just here to support Josh cause this thread is dumb. But its dumb in a good way, so power to my friendo since no one else has the balls to respond. 

I do. 
 

I was 340 lbs at my worst, 204 now. I agree with not fat shaming, as losing weight is difficult (achievable but difficult). Celebrating obesity though is a different story (plus size models), fat people that are happy fat and don’t want to improve themselves at all isn’t something I necessarily support. Being overweight takes years off your life and doesn’t really benefit anyone outside of less stress from a lazier lifestyle. I am neutral on all political issues that don’t involve me (including gay rights, transgender rights, etc) because they don’t involve me. So ultimately make whatever decision you feel makes you happy. 

[Matts4313]

4 minutes ago, Ty21 said:

I do. 
 

I was 340 lbs at my worst, 204 now. I agree with not fat shaming, as losing weight is difficult (achievable but difficult). Celebrating obesity though is a different story (plus size models), fat people that are happy fat and don’t want to improve themselves at all isn’t something I necessarily support. Being overweight takes years off your life and doesn’t really benefit anyone outside of less stress from a lazier lifestyle. I am neutral on all political issues that don’t involve me (including gay rights, transgender rights, etc) because they don’t involve me. So ultimately make whatever decision you feel makes you happy. 

I think it takes a certain level of testicular fortitude to say "im going hard in the paint until 40 then its over". so I dont agree with this 100%.

[Whicker]

I definitely don’t think this thread is dumb, but I don’t really know to what extent the forum will let us talk about it. 

In general, the answer is yes, it definitely is that way. We see this everywhere in modern sitcoms like Simpsons and Family Guy where the guy is a blubbering idiot and his awesome wife bails him out, or in television ads for cleaning products where the man always makes a mess of the house and super mom comes and cleans it up. 

Now getting into the all the reasons why it’s this way probably crosses the lines of this forum. 

[Matts4313]

5 minutes ago, Whicker said:

I definitely don’t think this thread is dumb, but I don’t really know to what extent the forum will let us talk about it. 

In general, the answer is yes, it definitely is that way. We see this everywhere in modern sitcoms like Simpsons and Family Guy where the guy is a blubbering idiot and his awesome wife bails him out, or in television ads for cleaning products where the man always makes a mess of the house and super mom comes and cleans it up. 

Now getting into the all the reasons why it’s this way probably crosses the lines of this forum. 

Agree to disagree. 

The entire reason men make women saints is because it helps in procreation. There is no other reason to pretend we are that stupid.

[Matts4313]

And I want to be very clear - im not saying woman cant be smarter, i am saying we act dumb for your benefit.

[Mox]

I've never thought of that before. I've seen hundreds of plus sized female models but I don't think I've ever seen a male model anything but jacked.

[TOUCAN]

28 minutes ago, Bullet Club said:

I've never thought of that before. I've seen hundreds of plus sized female models but I don't think I've ever seen a male model anything but jacked.

So the reason being on this I was scrolling through Old Navy's website because I need some new athleisure and I can usually get good deals plus I have Old Navy bucks to use, also they have some good joggers that I like. So there's a women and plus sized women part and you see the plus sized models, but you don't see a big and tall or whatever you want to call it model for men. So, I still wear a 2X shirt right now, and going down (will be more drastic once bariatric is complete, and if anyone is curious thats more of a 'just in case' thing because I need to make sure I'm in a good place to get a heart if I need it since I got heart failure from myocarditis) but I still have to see the skinny little guys wearing these clothes and I'm like "man I can't picture myself in that"

[DontTazeMeBro]

Edit: nvm

Edited December 9, 2021 by DontTazeMeBro
It’s the holidays. I’m not telling anyone anything they don’t already know.

[SwAg]

No, I think you are right.  There has been an emphasis on the reconstruction of society’s female beauty standards because it’s often dictated by what men deem attractive.  In a sense, trying to chip away at misogyny in society.  But, men are still left to struggle with societal standards, while also having a less sympathetic audience.  Consequently, told to toughen up, or be less sensitive.

[SwAg]

There was no question about body positivity as a concept.  The premise was that body positivity is desirable.  Thus, the issue is whether it’s gender-exclusive.

That’s likely a correct approach.  The term is simply hijacked sometimes by people who use it as justification to allow their unhealthy life situation to spiral out of control, and undermines the purpose for their reassurance.

[MrDrew]

People want to see what they could be, not what they are, and marketing departments are happy to make people feel bad about themselves. Models don't match reality. If you go by pictures on clothing sites, or the sizes on the racks in most stores, the average woman would be 5'5" 125lbs, and wear a size 4-6. The reality is that the average woman is 5'3", 170lbs, and wears a 16-18. Most of the women that are considered a plus-size model are smaller than what the average is. The average woman has to shop at a plus-size store. There's a lot wrong with that. 

Men aren't much different. The average man is 5'9", 200lbs, and has a 40" waist. That's obese on the charts. Even on TV shows/movies where they describe somebody as "average height, and an average build' comes out to 6' 175lbs. 

People literally kill themselves to try and get to an unreasonable body type because of marketing/media. The sad part is that most of the damage is actually coming from the people that won the genetic lottery, and hate themselves so much that they have to make other people feel bad if they don't have the same body type, just to make themselves feel better. If your doctor isn't worried, your heart/BP is ok, and the extra weight isn't causing physical issues, ignore what marketing is showing you is average. 

[JohnChimpo]

 

[TOUCAN]

Some of the responses in here have been more poignant than others here. Shout outs to @SwAgbecause that was a good breakdown