FF King of The Forum I: Final Three

[theuntouchable]

1 minute ago, Shady Slim said:

your mum’s only capable of your mum jokes

Well, that’s saying a lot considering she’s only ashes. 

so You’re implying that your teammates are incapable of coming up with better jokes than a dead person. 
 

agreed. 

[Shady Slim]

On 06/12/2019 at 3:06 PM, The Orca said:

@Shady Slim we are here to have some fun, so I shall not burn you and run

You such a nice guy, how about I just make you smile

Aussies are cool and great whites rule, what am I talking about we know Orcas run this school

 

On 06/12/2019 at 3:15 PM, Shady Slim said:

lol before i start i misread you and thought you said “whites rule” at first and i was like yooooooo now hold up

ahem

now

i believe that you went by “lettheballfly”

im bout to spit rhymes to make you cry

in bb and mafia you’re a historic pain

and you got the dumb half of the twins’ shared brain

maybe split from pickle and be your own man

but i wouldn’t expect success from a tampa bay fan

i’m told that fish are friends and not food

these bars are eating you up pardon me if i’m rude

 

22 hours ago, The Orca said:

@Shady Slim

I'm such a good guy

Why dont you give that another try

I'm throwing this round

Maybe better facts you have found

Let me list all the things you missed on

Tampa bay fan
Dumb twin

Roasting Orca but missing the facts makes a roast that surely lacks

I told everyone you would win

So make this easy on Fin

Make a roast about me and set me free
 

(@FinneasGage said to do this was kosher given i can’t work out how to do it properly)

orca boy there’s no insult in your “roast”

i don’t have to say anything you’re already toast

but since you’re throwing the challenge and piloting the team tank

i’m assuming you’ve eschewed the game for a wank?

[Pickle Rick]

@FinneasGage I believe tlo broke the string but hopefully this works for you 

On 12/5/2019 at 10:08 AM, Pickle Rick said:

Someone check on @TLO his head is so far up mission's *** that he might get fully sucked in.

 

5 hours ago, TLO said:

@Pickle Rick

P is for pickle 

A poster who is not first rate

he is always asking for a tickle 

by jfin of his prostate

 

r is for rick 

the name he has been given

his posts make me sick

id rather do mission

b is for big brother

the game pr cannot play 

I ****ed his mother

she called me her padre

 

M is for morty

From that stupid cartoon

You cannot stop my ****ting prowess

nobody is immune 

 

3 hours ago, Pickle Rick said:

I know that your oxygen level is fading

Look at your spelling, its degrading 

P R B M 

You must be sucking wind

Now I know you tried, but it took you two full days

Is mission's cavity so deep, that you're living in a haze. 

Why do you think I chose you

It's because we won't see you again until mission takes a poo!!!

 

 

 

15 minutes ago, TLO said:

@Pickle Rick

im glad your mother doesn’t expend that weak level of effort in the sack. 
 

but tbh I’m not sure you are capable of anything that’d be a remotely thoughtful roast. 
 

The spelling one doesn’t make sense. You’ve basically resorted to trying to roast the two most successful and best looking posters on the site. Tbh I just take pity on you at this point. 
 

At this point I think your only redeeming quality is that you aren’t outpost. Sad. 

 

[TLO]

1 minute ago, Pickle Rick said:

@FinneasGage I believe tlo broke the string but hopefully this works for you 

 

 

 

 

 

If it doesn’t fin can suck my ****

[theuntouchable]

Just now, TLO said:

If it doesn’t fin can suck my ****

Mission would have to get off it first 

[TLO]

1 minute ago, theuntouchable said:

Mission would have to get off it first 

There’s plenty to go around believe me 

[mission27]

1 minute ago, TLO said:

There’s plenty to go around believe me 

Top-5 all time post tbh

[theuntouchable]

3 minutes ago, TLO said:

There’s plenty to go around believe me 

Ahhhhhh so that’s where Missions went when he removed it. 

[Shady Slim]

@smug squad

get in here, nail boyle for racism and touch for transphobia, reports up, let’s knock em out of the comp

 

[rackcs]

On 12/5/2019 at 11:02 AM, Malfatron said:

@rackcs

So you're a Steelers fan, which means you like Big Ben, and approve of his actions. You also are a big Pokemon fan and love the new Aladdin movie. I got to try to look you up and find out why you are in jail. 

You post way too much on these forum games, and you have trouble relating to people. You seem like a loser. But because this is an internet message board, I can't tell if you smell.

You like a lot of my posts. But I hate you and I hope you get Ebola

Jesus christ, how many of my posts did you read just to come up with this sorry response? Get my **** out ya mouth.

[The Orca]

@Shady Slim

[theuntouchable]

The only *** (outside of each other) that the MoL actually gets ahold of. 
 

[FinneasGage]

6 hours ago, mission27 said:

On 12/5/2019 at 11:04 PM, theuntouchable said:

On 12/5/2019 at 8:28 PM, mission27 said:

On 12/5/2019 at 12:15 PM, theuntouchable said:

@mission27

Here, is where I ask for an explicit definition,

Of this stampcrab edition of the fool named Mission ,

please excuse his late circumcision, he’s in the midst of a transition, 

Tryin to become a lickarse rendition of Kim Kardashian, 

now, some would say I’m a cretin but lo and behold; there’s a reason,

I used to be decent; a genius but now? I’m an evil demon with freedom,

but you?
You’re the type to brag about a threesome; truth is, 

you ****ed a pregnant chick and some dudes secretion, 

you’re a shot-clog, not a boss Hogg, unworthy of a Russian gulag, 

a gob****e a poor white suppresed zounderkite,

so before you come at me with your scobberlotcher rhymes, 

write em, read em and go over em 10 times, 

cause this is it, you better come with the entire kit and caboodle, 

even though it’s truly futile, Cause you ain’t nothin but a silly fopdoodle. 

Tbh this is incoherent gibberish and I debated whether to even respond you are so beneath me 

I will say I admire the audacity of challenging the MoL to a **** fest knowing you will surely lose, that takes a little bit of smugness 

unfortunately that is where the smugness ends and you would have needed a lot of smugness to conquer the MoL 

Let’s start with your name... the untouchables... that pretty much describes where you fall in the caste system of FF 

While the MoL sit atop the mountain of smugness and are admired by everyone, you are pretty much at the bottom 

Your rant clearly comes from a position of someone who has never accomplished anything tbh 

For example the threesome comment is relevant to missions latest escapades but a little bit empty coming from a guy whose only threesomes involve his left and right hand

Now I agree your mom and your sister are nothing to brag about, but that’s besides the point 

Speaking of your appearance I’ve heard from reliable sources that you are both short and overweight and that you are losing your hair, which is strange, I always assumed you were about 12 years old 

There’s a lot more material but I’ll give you a minute to recover

So essentially, you’re telling me, That I’m so far beneath you, 

that I’d need a lot of smugness,

and great feats to accomplish, just to even reach where you’re at. 
 

there’s a problem, matter of fact, 

for a man so loved and so damn admired, 

can you explain why your likes show a lack of desire? 

and that response? Lethargic and weak, desperately uninspired.

another question if I may? Cause I can’t seem to recall.

can you tell me anything of worth you’ve ever done at all? 

im of average height and stocky, who gives a **** about hair?

youve had the transition, at least I have a ******* pair. 

recover? How cute your imagination is still intact. 

everything you say holds a heavy question of fact. 

the funniest part as you act all “smug” and mighty,

that your sexual prowess is just so damn lively,

but yet here you sit in all your smug craftiness,

I’ve never seen a bloke so desperate he’d **** an urn full of ashes. 

Alright sit back and let me give you a lesson in ****ting 101 from the MoL

Introduction

There are essentially two dimensions of ****ting and they are content and form 

Content = the basis of your **** 

Form = the structure and style of your **** 

It is important that every **** properly balance content or form to truly land with the force that is intended 

Content

Within the field of ****ting content, there are really three boxes you need to check

1. The **** must be a ****... it must be a critique, not simply a statement of fact with no negative or even positive connotations.

2. The **** must be aimed at the intended target.  If I say “bananas are stupid” and you are not eating a banana and have never eaten a banana, that is not a ****.

3. It must make sense and be appropriate isn’t he context of the ****ting op (MoL short hand for an opportunity to put down your target)

Form

Form is more art than science but you know good and bad form when you see it

Simplicity is key here, the elegant **** lands with a greater punch than the contrived ****

If not simplicity than an over the top **** is always an option

Its important for your **** to be appropriate in context

Example of Good Historical ****s

Throughout history, the great **** masters have carefully balanced content and form, science and art, all the way from Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden through to the MoL in the Garden of Smugness 

Take perhaps the most famous **** of all time, on the Ides of March 44 BC, Caesar facing death looking into the eyes of his protege.  “Et tu Brute?” 

At least as relayed by Shakespeare 

What do we see there? 

The **** has both perfect content and form 

Content = you are a snot nosed peace of **** I made you and even you aren’t grateful?  

Form = poetic simplicity, extra points for being spoken with his dying breath 

Truly remarkable, this **** single handedly ya boomed the conspirators and Brutus himself faced a particular awful death 

Evaluation of Untouchables Attempted **** - Part II

This **** is if anything even worse than the first, which I will not bother to evaluate as I’ve already told you how bad it is

Fundamentally your issue is you have completely sacrificed content for form.  You should NEVER do this. 

Of course the form itself is completely inappropriate for this particular ****ting comp, but I digress 

Let’s take the three pillars of ****ting content one by one.

Is your **** a ****?  Is your **** a critique or simply a statement of observations, with no negative connotations or perhaps even positive ones? 

- Mission is above Untouch (yes this is a ****)

- Untouch would need a lot of smugness to reach missions heights and accomplishments (yes a ****)

- mission is loved and admired (not a ****)

- mission does not have a sufficient number of likes on FF (yes a ****)

- missions response to Untouch **** was lethargic and weak (yes a ****)

- Untouch asks mission can you tell me something of worth you have done? (Not a ****, this is in fact what the MoL refer to as a smugness op, basically an opportunity for mission to spew off his accomplishments without breaking the social conventions that would prevent such displays of smugness)

- Untouch is average height stocky and bald (yes a ****)

- mission has gone through a transition (while vague, this could arguably be a **** if it wasn’t 2019 and we weren’t beyond these sorts of juvenile jokes, I’m going to go not a ****)

- mission has a great imagination (not a ****)

- missions comments are potentially factual (not a ****, and also, already acknowledged above re baldness, weight, and height) 

- mission acts smug and lively (not a ****)

- mission has sexual prowess (not a ****) 

- mission is smug and crafty (not a ****)

- mission would **** an urn of ashes (odd comment, borderline **** I guess, we’ll give it to ya)

Of the 14 assertions in Untouches lyrics, there are just 4 clear cut ****s and 2 borderline ****s.  The majority of Untouch’s assertions are actual overwhelmingly positive comments. 

Of course not all ****s are created equal.  Are some of Untouches critiques more powerful than others?  Absolutely.  

The first two critiques, on overall social standing and accomplishments, are quite effective as they touch on some of the more fundamental aspects of life and particular life within society, on which all ****s are grounded

The second two critiques are on the other hand quite weak.  Untouch is accusing mission of spending too little time and effort on FF, and instead living a life full of money and fast cars and beautiful women.  This is what we in the MoL call a back door smugness op.  An intended **** that backfires into a smugness op.

Finally the last attempted critique is inappropriate because of the negative connotation it attempts to associate with transgendered people.  It is 2019 and these sorts of critiques will always backfire.

On to the second pillar, is the **** targeted at the intended target?  For our purposes we will assume the intended target was mission.

Of the 4 ****s, the first two are clearly targeted not at the intended target but at the **** ‘master’ Untouch himself.  The third and fourth are targeted at mission.  Unfortunately the first two critiques are strong while the third and fourth are not.

Likewise the last critique is arguably targeted at mission but too vague to be sure, and also is appropriate

Finally, do the critiques make sense and are they appropriate? 

While the first four make sense to some extent and are arguably appropriate, the last one does not. 

Timing

Furthermore in the timing department Untouch your **** is lacking

Rather than taking the time to think and craft a quality ****, you shot your load too quickly, and finished the product was not exceptional 

mission meanwhile, realizing he has not time pressure as the last in a series of 4 ****s, has taken his time, and crafted a strong response 

You will unfortunately have no formal opportunity to respond 

Example of a Strong ****

In case you have not realized what is going on, Untouch, which would not surprise me given your staggering lack of intellect, this post is what we in the MoL call a back door ****ting op, or an opportunity to offer help and assistance in the form of a critique that is meant to raise the ****ter up while lowering the social standing of the target

Within the macro ****ting op, I offer you a micro **** that encompasses all the pillars of a good **** in both content and form:

1. Untouch, you are admittedly short fat and bald 

2. You are admittedly below mission and by the transitive property of smugness also below the MoL

3. Your **** was not strong, particularly lacking in content, but also inappropriate in form 

4. In short, you have no prospects in life and should give up

5. You truly are the lowest of the low 

 

we have another completed roast if you guys would like to crown a winner and share your thoughts...

@Tyty @Adrenaline_Flux

 

I'm going to determine who i thought won this right now 

[gopherwrestler]

7 hours ago, Outpost31 said:

I think he's already lost to be honest.  Can't even figure out the game or where mine started and he's acting like he knows what he's doing. 

Really don’t care what you said, who wants to see outpost cry?

[Ty21]

11 minutes ago, FinneasGage said:

 

we have another completed roast if you guys would like to crown a winner and share your thoughts...

@Tyty @Adrenaline_Flux

 

I'm going to determine who i thought won this right now 

I’m kinda at a loss for words with missions last response but I’m going to hand it to untouch. Both of his digs were easily superior to missions in my opinion.