Dwight_Schrute Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 6 hours ago, scar988 said: My dad passed this morning. He's not in pain anymore. Is it bad that I feel like I should have some friends over to drink and hang out with this weekend just so that I can process this better? Like how does one truly ever handle grief? Did something similar when my dad passed too. My brothers and I all play on a rec league softball team together, and we couldn't attend our game because it was on the day of his service. When it was over we all grabbed some drinks and headed down to watch our team play. It was pretty comforting to surround yourself with friends and take a step back from what is truly a harrowing experience. Just do what feels right to you. There isn't a standard protocol that people follow during these events. Sorry for your loss. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scar988 Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 2 hours ago, ET80 said: I did something like that a bit after my dad passed. People process things differently, however you choose to process is on you and not up for judgement. Thank you. 2 hours ago, D82 said: What ET said. People process grief differently, if you feel having a small gathering and having a couple (or more) beers is going to help you - do it. When my friend passed away last year, she had a small viewing but then everyone gathered at her favorite bar afterward and we all basically cried together, ate oysters and drank Miller Lite. It's what she would have wanted. Honestly, it helped. I appreciate this. 1 hour ago, Dwight_Schrute said: Did something similar when my dad passed too. My brothers and I all play on a rec league softball team together, and we couldn't attend our game because it was on the day of his service. When it was over we all grabbed some drinks and headed down to watch our team play. It was pretty comforting to surround yourself with friends and take a step back from what is truly a harrowing experience. Just do what feels right to you. There isn't a standard protocol that people follow during these events. Sorry for your loss. Thank you for this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENINCH Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 8 hours ago, scar988 said: My dad passed this morning. He's not in pain anymore. Is it bad that I feel like I should have some friends over to drink and hang out with this weekend just so that I can process this better? Like how does one truly ever handle grief? Your dad will help you. It'll be something to remind you of him or maybe you'll have a dream about him. He'll let you know hes ok, he's proud of you, and that he loves you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9 Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 8 hours ago, scar988 said: My dad passed this morning. He's not in pain anymore. Is it bad that I feel like I should have some friends over to drink and hang out with this weekend just so that I can process this better? Like how does one truly ever handle grief? I am so very sorry to hear about your loss!! Like everyone else has written, there is no right way to deal with grief. One of my dear friends passed on Thanksgiving and a week later a close buddy passed. My uncle just passed 3 weeks ago. Grief sucks!!! To you scar988 and all the others who have lost a parent, my gosh - my heart goes out to all of you! Have drinks, cry your heart out, enjoy all the good memories - whatever you need to do. What sucks about grief, it never goes away it just gets lighter and easier... Give it time. Truly, my thoughts go out to you and your family. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heimdallr Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 Is anyone else still waiting for their stimulus check? I got the previous rounds right away, but still waiting on this 3rd round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MWil23 Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 19 hours ago, scar988 said: My dad passed this morning. He's not in pain anymore. Is it bad that I feel like I should have some friends over to drink and hang out with this weekend just so that I can process this better? Like how does one truly ever handle grief? Sorry to hear this. My dad passed away several years ago, and it was really rough. I still feel it today at the moments I least expect it. I'm truly sorry for your loss. My wife was the rock that helped me get through that tough time, as well as my siblings. To be honest, I didn't process it right away the way that I should have and didn't take the time for myself to grieve appropriately. I was too concerned about my mom and some other people, and in hindsight, talking to someone older and wiser who had gone through something similar would have been beneficial for me. Exercise helped. Mowing grass helped. Landscaping helped. Laying down at night crying helped. Reading my Bible helped. Beyond that, it's more or less been a journey and it comes in waves. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scar988 Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 I truly appreciate all the responses guys. Thank oyu. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENINCH Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 1 hour ago, MWil23 said: Sorry to hear this. My dad passed away several years ago, and it was really rough. I still feel it today at the moments I least expect it. I'm truly sorry for your loss. My wife was the rock that helped me get through that tough time, as well as my siblings. To be honest, I didn't process it right away the way that I should have and didn't take the time for myself to grieve appropriately. I was too concerned about my mom and some other people, and in hindsight, talking to someone older and wiser who had gone through something similar would have been beneficial for me. Exercise helped. Mowing grass helped. Landscaping helped. Laying down at night crying helped. Reading my Bible helped. Beyond that, it's more or less been a journey and it comes in waves. Exactly. Some days are great and some days your heart hurts. I lost my Step-Dad in 2011 to Cancer. I was mad because he didn't fight like I thought he should. He was only 51 at the time. I found out later that my mom cheated on him and he found out. I guess he decided he was done fighting knwing he was going to lose her. As silly as it sounds I had a dream about him that was as real as any dream I've ever had. He said he was proud of me, he was ok, and that he would always love me. Woke up in tears and I've been ok with his death since then. My relationship with my mom isn't great with me but that's ok. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MWil23 Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 6 minutes ago, TENINCH said: As silly as it sounds I had a dream about him that was as real as any dream I've ever had. He said he was proud of me, he was ok, and that he would always love me. Woke up in tears I've had 2 dreams that were unbelievably realistic and had very vivid conversations with mine as well. 100% can relate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENINCH Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 13 minutes ago, MWil23 said: I've had 2 dreams that were unbelievably realistic and had very vivid conversations with mine as well. 100% can relate. Even crazier is a couple years later I brought up my dream to my brother and sister. They both said they had the same dream. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malfatron Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 Volleyball Tourney starts tommorrow! Wisconsin gonna take it like they took hockey this year! Girls get it done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDrew Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 4/12/2021 at 12:02 PM, scar988 said: My dad passed this morning. He's not in pain anymore. Is it bad that I feel like I should have some friends over to drink and hang out with this weekend just so that I can process this better? Like how does one truly ever handle grief? Really sorry to hear this. I lost my dad a few years ago, and the best advice I can give is to allow yourself to grieve. How that happens can be different minute to minute. Don't try to fight it when it hits, and don't give a thought to what anybody else thinks. It's going to hit at bad times, and bad places, but fighting it will just do more damage later. Don't worry about being strong for a little while, you'll have friends and/or family step up to do that for you. Try not to let yourself get too self destructive because there's probably going to be points that you want to. Make sure to take care of yourself. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ty21 Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 3 minutes ago, MrDrew said: Really sorry to hear this. I lost my dad a few years ago, and the best advice I can give is to allow yourself to grieve. How that happens can be different minute to minute. Don't try to fight it when it hits, and don't give a thought to what anybody else thinks. It's going to hit at bad times, and bad places, but fighting it will just do more damage later. Don't worry about being strong for a little while, you'll have friends and/or family step up to do that for you. Try not to let yourself get too self destructive because there's probably going to be points that you want to. Make sure to take care of yourself. that’s what I was told when my sister passed when I was a teen. There’s a lack of lasting empathy around loss, people kinda expect you to be over it after a month. But grief is a lasting, complex thing and you shouldn’t feel rushed in fully feeling your feelings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENINCH Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 (edited) 19 hours ago, Malfatron said: Volleyball Tourney starts tommorrow! Wisconsin gonna take it like they took hockey this year! Girls get it done! Is it just me but does it seem like girls sooo much better at volleyball than men? Edited April 14, 2021 by TENINCH 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeT14 Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 On 4/13/2021 at 9:06 AM, Heimdallr said: Is anyone else still waiting for their stimulus check? I got the previous rounds right away, but still waiting on this 3rd round. You should be able to go online to the treasury website and check your status, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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