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What Are You Thinking About v.CC


pwny

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1 minute ago, animaltested said:

Normalizing violence as a response to emotion is awful.

 

Yeah, like the whole "I'm sending this to your dad" bit sounds like some sort of tactic to instill fear.

I thought I was maybe being judgy about it since I didn't have kids but hearing that made me feel sick.

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3 minutes ago, Fl0nkerton said:

Yeah, like the whole "I'm sending this to your dad" bit sounds like some sort of tactic to instill fear.

I thought I was maybe being judgy about it since I didn't have kids but hearing that made me feel sick.

I feel ya, I don't have kids either, so I also try to avoid being judgy. But when it comes to physical discipline and fear tactics, the consensus has been for a long time, that both are pretty bad. 

That being said, there isn't really a panacea for children's (and lets be honest here, adults too)  emotional outbursts, so parents pretty much have to wing it. Guessing that why so many default to how their parents disciplined them, regardless of how effective or potentially damaging it is.

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10 minutes ago, Fl0nkerton said:

Yeah, like the whole "I'm sending this to your dad" bit sounds like some sort of tactic to instill fear.

I thought I was maybe being judgy about it since I didn't have kids but hearing that made me feel sick.

Yeah, if my wife sent me a recording of my nine year old screaming, my response would be "Can you get the kid to stop screaming? Im sure you can handle it. Not that hard."

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IMO physical deterrents are completely warranted if the child's physical well being is involved, i.e, when my kids were little I'd smack their hands if I saw them trying to touch a stove or run at an outlet with a metal piece (happened multiple times).

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Every parent should be required to take a class called "Re-directing Children's Behavior " , it was by far the best thing my wife and I learned as young parents

Typically, parents run around all day saying " No ! No, No " but they don't tell the kids what they can have or what they can do as they explore their world

A simple example is if a kid is playing with your car keys and you want them to stop. A parent might say NO ! or take the keys away. At which point the child will react, cry, scream etc. The easier and better way to do it is to give them something else shiny and new to play with and they'll quickly forget all about the car keys

Re-directing works.
As far as the kid screaming and pitching a fit, they typically do that because it gets them what they want. Pitch a fit, the parents give in.
But and all the parents are doing is rewarding and re-enforcing that behavior and so that's what they'll get more of in the future

Instead, when kids pitch a fit - make sure they do not get what they want.
And soon enough the fits & tantrums go away because they are not effective tactics anymore and by 9 years old, that crapola should be in the past

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Echoing what others posted about kids behaviors.

Re-directing is key to avoiding meltdowns over stupid crap.

Timeouts and restrictions of privileges are the best way to handle misbehavior.

I have been known to correct some bad physical behavior (specifically biting with 1/2 year olds) with very minor capital punishment.  I'm talking like squeezing their cheeks so they equate their biting with the uncomfortableness of their face being squeezed.  But generally they only bite because you failed to re-direct them to something and they got upset.

So yeah, re-direct re-direct re-direct.

If you get the point where the kid is 9 and throwing those tantrums, you done screwed up years ago and i can't help you anymore.  Those should stop around age 3/4, forever.

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3 minutes ago, Outpost31 said:

I’d smack the **** out of a kid if they acted up.  Re-direct my ***.  If you’re wailing and screaming like a little ***** imana give you something to wail and scream about.

You seem upset, Outpost.

why dont you try reading this thread instead and post a followup there to some questions that have been posed.

Sound like a plan?

 

 

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