Is that the light at the end of the tunnel? (O.T. Thread)

[sdrawkcab321]

9 minutes ago, Kiwibrown said:

That isn't futile CPR.

Right I’m just saying sometimes you think a patient is long gone and they come back. Obviously that was an impossible situation. 

[pnies20]

someone tell a good joke. This is depressing

[Dawgpoun8017]

1 hour ago, pnies20 said:

someone tell a good joke. This is depressing

Pnies 

[pnies20]

8 hours ago, Dawgpoun8017 said:

Pnies 

😭

[bruceb]

11 hours ago, pnies20 said:

someone tell a good joke. This is depressing

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car when he fell asleep and drove the car off a  bridge.

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

11 hours ago, pnies20 said:

someone tell a good joke.

 

8 minutes ago, bruceb said:

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car when he fell asleep and drove the car off a  bridge.

11 hours ago, pnies20 said:

This is depressing

 

[candyman93]

11 hours ago, pnies20 said:

someone tell a good joke. This is depressing

Freddie Kitchens is head coach material.

[Thomas5737]

Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson are better passers than Baker Mayfield.

[bruceb]

15 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

 

 

Most of the good jokes i know would violate forum rules.

And we wouldn't want to do that now, would we Webby?

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair colour have to do with my worth as a human being?”

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.

“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

For his birthday, an old man's nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. When he answers the door she's standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, "I'm here to give you super sex."

After thinking for a minute the old man replies, "I guess I'll have the soup."

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”

“Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.

The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks are big!”

The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.

The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

[Thomas5737]

13 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

3

11 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair colour have to do with my worth as a human being?”

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.

“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

6

10 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

For his birthday, an old man's nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. When he answers the door she's standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, "I'm here to give you super sex."

After thinking for a minute the old man replies, "I guess I'll have the soup."

6

8 minutes ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”

“Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.

The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks are big!”

The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.

The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

2

[Thomas5737]

What do you call it when a hen looks at a lettuce? A chicken caesar salad.