Relationship Advice Thread

[Malfatron]

11 minutes ago, thebestever6 said:

I say no I'm losing my abilities lol

you probably didnt need to mention that you were losing your ability

[thebestever6]

5 hours ago, Malfatron said:

you probably didnt need to mention that you were losing your ability

Abilities it was a joke

[TOUCAN]

9 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

So this girl I got a crush on I sent edible arrangements to. The day of Valentine's day she asks if I had a date or any plans. I say no I'm losing my abilities lol I asked her and she said she was going right to bed and frowned.

When she got the edible arrangements she said it was weird but cute. She didn't look at me today or talk to me can I salvage this?

Man that's a punt if I've ever read one.

[MWil23]

11 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

So this girl I got a crush on I sent edible arrangements to. The day of Valentine's day she asks if I had a date or any plans. I say no I'm losing my abilities lol I asked her and she said she was going right to bed and frowned.

When she got the edible arrangements she said it was weird but cute. She didn't look at me today or talk to me can I salvage this?

It's all right buddy, it happens. Better luck next time. Move on.

[Fl0nkerton]

11 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

So this girl I got a crush on I sent edible arrangements to. The day of Valentine's day she asks if I had a date or any plans. I say no I'm losing my abilities lol I asked her and she said she was going right to bed and frowned.

When she got the edible arrangements she said it was weird but cute. She didn't look at me today or talk to me can I salvage this?

1. What does "losing your abilities" mean?

2. Sending a surprise edible arrangement is bold and pretty high stakes imo. Maybe go a little more subtle next time.

[ET80]

11 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

So this girl I got a crush on I sent edible arrangements to. The day of Valentine's day she asks if I had a date or any plans. I say no I'm losing my abilities lol I asked her and she said she was going right to bed and frowned.

When she got the edible arrangements she said it was weird but cute. She didn't look at me today or talk to me can I salvage this?

Bluntly... no. This ship has more than sailed, it got some rocket boosters and has ignited itself to Saturn.

You came in WAY too strong with the edible arrangements. You send stuff like that to wives or girlfriends, not a crush. You also sent on/around Valentine's day - a day reserved for wives/girlfriends, and somebody you're dating, not a crush. This is the narrative you're stuck with now, she's going to remember this over anything else you can do. 

Your best bet is to move on - any further engagement is going to come off as creepy/stalker-ish. 

[TOUCAN]

@thebestever6I am not as much a pessimist as some of the others. I don't think the ship has completely sailed, but it needs time to breathe and things need to happen naturally. She's first got to approach you to even speak before anything. You can't seek her out, she's gotta seek you. You need to speak and then you need to maybe apologize, and then go from there.

Feasibly speaking though, easier to move on. Nothing more than 40 bucks out of your wallet.

[Daniel]

51 minutes ago, JoshstraDaymus said:

@thebestever6I am not as much a pessimist as some of the others. I don't think the ship has completely sailed, but it needs time to breathe and things need to happen naturally. She's first got to approach you to even speak before anything. You can't seek her out, she's gotta seek you. You need to speak and then you need to maybe apologize, and then go from there.

Feasibly speaking though, easier to move on. Nothing more than 40 bucks out of your wallet.

This is probably optimistic, but either way, I think everyone can agree that you shouldn’t approach her at all.

I would say forget her and move on, and if she’s interested in something, she’ll approach you. And even if she approaches you at all, you need to assume it’s non-romantic until you get a pretty clear sign that it is.

[thebestever6]

Thanks for the input guys I guess I took Wayne Gretzky's you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take too literally.

A few corrections she said the arrangements were strange but cute. Strange is a little better than weird. We were also cracking up yesterday at work over something. I'm getting good vibes maybe it just had to breathe.

Edited February 19, 2020 by thebestever6

[MWil23]

1 hour ago, thebestever6 said:

Thanks for the input guys I guess I took Wayne Gretzky's you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take too literally.

A few corrections she said the arrangements were strange but cute. Strange is a little better than weird. We were also cracking up yesterday at work over something. I'm getting good vibes maybe it just had to breathe.

*Shrug*

Man don't feel bad. You're out nothing. You weren't going out before the grand gesture and you're still not going out. Just leave the ball in her court and move on, but if she initiates, go for it.

[vike daddy]

2 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

Thanks for the input guys I guess I took Wayne Gretzky's you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take too literally.

A few corrections she said the arrangements were strange but cute. Strange is a little better than weird. We were also cracking up yesterday at work over something. I'm getting good vibes maybe it just had to breathe.

don't let the losers like @ET80 get you down. you took a good shot that allowed her to process it privately however she wanted to. you didn't force the issue. lay back and see if she warms up to you.

but if she does, you'll probably need to take it slow for a bit. just get to know each other personally.

[ET80]

7 minutes ago, vike daddy said:

don't let the losers like @ET80 get you down

...but my mom says I'm cool.

[ET80]

3 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

Thanks for the input guys I guess I took Wayne Gretzky's you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take too literally.

A few corrections she said the arrangements were strange but cute. Strange is a little better than weird. We were also cracking up yesterday at work over something. I'm getting good vibes maybe it just had to breathe.

Lesson learned - that's all we can really do, learn from our experiences. Can't be angry or upset about it, you know? 

I've done this before - I was absolutely crushing on a girl back in the day (late 90s, I think) and my sister suggested I get her flowers. I show up to her job (she worked PT at an Old Navy) with a bouquet of flowers in hand. In front of her boss and co-workers, no less. She kind of smiled nervously, said thanks (while avoiding eye contact the whole time) and went to the back to drop them off. I think that was the last time I saw her that year (and we went to the same church... so she gave up on her faith, JUST to avoid me. Let that sink in). 

So, don't feel bad, at ALL. I'm sure everyone here has a story to share that's similar to this.

Gretzky was right on his remark, but that doesn't mean you're firing slapshots from center ice - be a bit more reserved, set up your shot before you take it and you'll net it in no time. 

[MWil23]

3 hours ago, thebestever6 said:

Thanks for the input guys I guess I took Wayne Gretzky's you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take too literally.

 

7 minutes ago, ET80 said:

Gretzky was right on his remark, but that doesn't mean you're firing slapshots from center ice - be a bit more reserved, set up your shot before you take it and you'll net it in no time. 

[Fl0nkerton]

1 hour ago, ET80 said:

Lesson learned - that's all we can really do, learn from our experiences. Can't be angry or upset about it, you know? 

I've done this before - I was absolutely crushing on a girl back in the day (late 90s, I think) and my sister suggested I get her flowers. I show up to her job (she worked PT at an Old Navy) with a bouquet of flowers in hand. In front of her boss and co-workers, no less. She kind of smiled nervously, said thanks (while avoiding eye contact the whole time) and went to the back to drop them off. I think that was the last time I saw her that year (and we went to the same church... so she gave up on her faith, JUST to avoid me. Let that sink in). 

So, don't feel bad, at ALL. I'm sure everyone here has a story to share that's similar to this.

Gretzky was right on his remark, but that doesn't mean you're firing slapshots from center ice - be a bit more reserved, set up your shot before you take it and you'll net it in no time. 

I've got one of these!

In High School around Valentine's Day you could send a flower and a candy bar to your friends or your favorite teacher or your gf or in my scenario; a girl I liked. We'll call her Emma Roberts because she has blonde hair.

My dad caught wind about sending these tokens of affection & as all parents do, asked if I had any prospects. Mind you, I'm incredibly introverted and guffawed at the idea that I would be sending Emma Roberts a goddamned rose and a Hershey's bar. I mentioned Emma and he sticks $20 in my hand and says "Why don't you ask her out? I'll let you borrow my truck."
(His truck was a taupe colored 2006 GMC Sonoma)

I say sure, fine, the worst she can say is no - blah, blah. I write out a little note that's attached to the flower asking if she wants to grab dinner. (I think I suggested Texas Roadhouse because I ooze class and was pushing a compact pickup truck, FFS.) So the day rolls around where Student Council members are set to deliver them and she gets it while I'm in Spanish class where I'll see her in the hallway when class is over.

She stops me in the hallway and says thanks and it's so sweet, but she's "kinda talking to (let's call him) Zac Efron."

Zac is fresh off of a Boys 5A Basketball State Championship, and it's been well-documented that he has Chlamydia. 

I say "Oh yeah, no problem, that's cool!" and used that as a punchline for the rest of the year that Emma Roberts would rather catch a crotch critter than go to Texas Roadhouse with me.