cddolphin Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 2 minutes ago, Texansfan713 said: yep. i tried things like skating, salsa lessons. she DID want to go bowling but she didnt seem excited about it. This ties into my above post perfectly^^, stop presenting her with a menu and just take her somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 1 minute ago, JTagg7754 said: Is this something that would bother you down the line? I mean, if you can have fun just shooting the poo, that's perfect. If you need things to do and she's declining every invite, that would get annoying and frustrating after a while. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it. it kind of does because i know for a fact if her girl coworker friends ask her to do it she would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cddolphin Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Just now, Texansfan713 said: it kind of does because i know for a fact if her girl coworker friends ask her to do it she would. Obv we're missing 99% of relevant details but I would feel weird about this from what you've described. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 4 minutes ago, cddolphin said: Also consider the same date presented in two different contexts: Let's say there's live jazz music at a local bar. You could either 1) Ask if her she wants to grab dinner and go listen to music and have some drinks and if that sounds like something she'd like or 2) Tell her to put on something nice and be ready for date night at 8pm. Her eager anticipation will help flavor the night, and her not having to put any thought into the activities removes all 'stress'. I always try and do number 2 but she makes excuses to not go. "you should have told me ahead of time" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyPhil1781 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 4 minutes ago, Texansfan713 said: it kind of does because i know for a fact if her girl coworker friends ask her to do it she would. You been w/ this chick a long time? This sounds really weird to me but I just hopped in this thread b/c I didn't feel like working so I';m not going to pretend I know the entire story lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 1 minute ago, JTagg7754 said: You been w/ this chick a long time? This sounds really weird to me but I just hopped in this thread b/c I didn't feel like working so I';m not going to pretend I know the entire story lol yeah a year and a month Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyPhil1781 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Just now, Texansfan713 said: yeah a year and a month That's definitely a good amount of time invested. Hopefully this is the only frustrating part of the relationship b/c it would drive me nuts. If my wife (8+ years together) can't make up her mind where she wants to eat but I make a couple offers that she declines, I tell her to let me know when she's dying and I'll decide lol. That usually kicks her butt into gear. If you can find things like that to force her to make a decision, it definitely will help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ET80 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 7 minutes ago, cddolphin said: Obv we're missing 99% of relevant details but I would feel weird about this from what you've described. I feel the same way. Gut instinct tells me she likes you enough to not want to hurt your feelings, but she's kind of distancing herself from you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WizeGuy Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 26 minutes ago, Texansfan713 said: we been dating for a year and 2 months if that helps. and honestly i cant really think of a non dinner, movie and sports date we have gone to. maybe thats the problem, we need to try new things. Okay, so you two have invested a good amount of time into the relationship, so disregard my previous post. I'm still a bit confused- does she only hang out with you when it's on her time and something she wants to do, or do you two spend a lot of time together but she doesn't want to do any date ideas you bring up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cddolphin Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 3 minutes ago, WizeGuy said: Okay, so you two have invested a good amount of time into the relationship, so disregard my previous post. I'm still a bit confused- does she only hang out with you when it's on her time and something she wants to do, or do you two spend a lot of time together but she doesn't want to do any date ideas you bring up? And do they live together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 2 minutes ago, WizeGuy said: Okay, so you two have invested a good amount of time into the relationship, so disregard my previous post. I'm still a bit confused- does she only hang out with you when it's on her time and something she wants to do, or do you two spend a lot of time together but she doesn't want to do any date ideas you bring up? basically. im starting to feel like she is using me for her convenience. she doesnt drive. we rarely do stuff during the week unless she wants to run an errand or something and ask me, but when I want to do something she basically does not want to do it. its bad enough we see each other once a week at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Just now, cddolphin said: And do they live together? nah we dont. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cddolphin Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 1 minute ago, Texansfan713 said: basically. im starting to feel like she is using me for her convenience. she doesnt drive. we rarely do stuff during the week unless she wants to run an errand or something and ask me, but when I want to do something she basically does not want to do it. its bad enough we see each other once a week at least. Yeah and it's not like you live together and are sick of the company. Definitely seems a certain way, i.e. she likes the convenient aspects of having you as a BF but doesn't particularly have a burning desire to spend time with you. Maybe drop efforts of taking her out and see if she makes any attempt to initiate whatsoever. Idk. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyPhil1781 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 2 minutes ago, Texansfan713 said: nah we dont. Good answer!! And you said you only see her once a week? If you want my worthless advice, start fishing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texansfan713 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 3 minutes ago, cddolphin said: Yeah and it's not like you live together and are sick of the company. Definitely seems a certain way, i.e. she likes the convenient aspects of having you as a BF but doesn't particularly have a burning desire to spend time with you. Maybe drop efforts of taking her out and see if she makes any attempt to initiate whatsoever. Idk. yeah i might start doing that to test our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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