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Relationship Advice Thread


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18 minutes ago, vike daddy said:

i think men and women should be exclusive in their dating, it's just more respectful. feeling the humanity of the other person, even if it is not a serious engagement, is an important character quality. if it's so casual that you don't even regard them as a real person, just a toy to play with, then it's really time to move on anyway.

this doesn't come from a place of me being prudish, far from it. it comes from a place of respecting other people. and respecting yourself.

Ehhh, it's not that serious. If you're out there looking to mingle until you find the right one I see nothing wrong with it. You'll know if it's wrong when one of the women you're dating gets clingy or something and you don't tell her you're not that serious about her.

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6 minutes ago, Incarcerated_Scarface said:

Ehhh, it's not that serious. If you're out there looking to mingle until you find the right one I see nothing wrong with it. 

yep, i understand. i'm not saying someone with your opinion is wrong, i was just stating mine.

how we treat each other as we go through life is really the definition of our own character.

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On 8/3/2018 at 8:25 PM, Heimdallr said:

So what is the morality on dating multiple women? OK as long as nothing gets serious and there are actual discussions about exclusivity? Or is there a certain time period after which that is implied?

I always just made sure I was open with them about seeing other women. If you aren't sneaking around, I see no real problem with it. I never intended to date more than one lady at a time, but sometimes you meet them around the same time.

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In our society, the idea of some sort of exclusivity is implied once you get to the level that @vike daddy is talking about 

So if you get to that level, you’ve gotta respect the person enough to do right by them. If you don’t want to be exclusive and tied down to one person, that’s perfectly fine. However, I think it’s your responsibility to do right by the person and let them know what’s going on so they don’t end up getting hurt down the line because they were viewing things with an implied exclusivity that you didn’t mean for them to believe in.

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3 hours ago, skywlker32 said:

I always just made sure I was open with them about seeing other women. If you aren't sneaking around, I see no real problem with it. I never intended to date more than one lady at a time, but sometimes you meet them around the same time.

I feel like that is the disconnect that people have. If people know that up front then there is no real issue but if you dont REALLY know or you dont want to bring it up it kind of comes off as hiding something as if you're worried about their feelings and if that is the case then you probably dont think she is just down to mingle anyways

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14 hours ago, skywlker32 said:

I always just made sure I was open with them about seeing other women. If you aren't sneaking around, I see no real problem with it. I never intended to date more than one lady at a time, but sometimes you meet them around the same time.

Yeah, I was just talking about meeting and getting to know people (<10 dates), not long-term dating. I feel like you need to hang out with someone at least a couple times to really figure out if you are both interested, and only pursuing one option at a time would take forever.

In today's online world, what percentage of messages sent/received ever go beyond a 1st date (if that)? Less than 5%? It is really just a numbers game until you actually connect with someone.

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7 hours ago, Heimdallr said:

Yeah, I was just talking about meeting and getting to know people (<10 dates), not long-term dating. I feel like you need to hang out with someone at least a couple times to really figure out if you are both interested, and only pursuing one option at a time would take forever.

In today's online world, what percentage of messages sent/received ever go beyond a 1st date (if that)? Less than 5%? It is really just a numbers game until you actually connect with someone.

Then yeah, I see no problem at all with that. It is pretty much expected now in the dating world that you are going to be going on dates with multiple people. I didn't even consider bringing up the subject until at least after 2 dates. There were times I had 6 dates across 2 weekends. Still the same rule as I said before though. Don't bring up other dates without being prompted obviously, but don't hide it if they ask.

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4 minutes ago, vike daddy said:

so hey, why is a happily married man like you asking about dating questions...?

We amicably split up about a year ago. I've been really enjoying the solo life, but figured I might as well meet some new people and just see what happens

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On 8/3/2018 at 8:25 PM, Heimdallr said:

So what is the morality on dating multiple women? OK as long as nothing gets serious and there are actual discussions about exclusivity? Or is there a certain time period after which that is implied?

If you're moving beyond kissing hello/goodbye on the cheek, it should be exclusive. IMO.

 

If you've only been on 1 or 2 dates with her, and it's still very early in the "getting to know" phase, I don't think there's anything wrong with going on other 'dates' and hedging your bets so to speak.

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So I've been texting this girl a couple weeks. She's been texting me pretty much every night which surprised me because I didn't think she was that interested when I gave her my number. She must have decided to see if I'll text first because she didn't text me this weekend until this morning when she said I must not interesting in talking anymore since I haven't tried talking all weekend

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3 hours ago, vikesfan89 said:

So I've been texting this girl a couple weeks. She's been texting me pretty much every night which surprised me because I didn't think she was that interested when I gave her my number. She must have decided to see if I'll text first because she didn't text me this weekend until this morning when she said I must not interesting in talking anymore since I haven't tried talking all weekend

Are you interested?

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