Relationship Advice Thread

[Ty21]

This is incredibly rough 

[Malfatron]

33 minutes ago, Tyty said:

This is incredibly rough 

you got this, ty!

[UKTexans]

On 18/08/2017 at 2:50 PM, UKTexans said:

Planning a wedding - trying to gauge how little I can get involved in and get away with.

So the big day is in 35 days and we're still having it! 

I think this planning has caused more arguments in 12 months than we've had in the previous 7 years of being together.

[pwny]

On 7/12/2018 at 9:43 AM, holt_bruce81 said:

When we got together she was an extremely motivated person who was in the middle of getting her Masters degree. She was always happy and was a very positive person...

Now, she’s just not motivated to do anything with her life. And the fact that me and our daughter can’t motivate her to be the best version of herself she can possibly be, absolutely kills me.

Does she maybe have PPD or another depressive disorder that she’s struggling with and maybe not telling you about?

[SteelKing728]

On 7/9/2018 at 9:26 PM, BleedTheClock said:

Here's a kind of weird situation:

 

So I'm a very nice guy. Too nice. I met a girl on Tinder and within the first 3 minutes of meeting her, she wanted to engage in sexy time in my back seat. I didn't initiate any of this, mind you. She is a freak. Did I smash? Yes. Do I regret it? For sure. She's super duper clingy and is constantly fishing for compliments by telling me about how other men call her ugly and blow her off and yada yada yada....she just wants me to serenade her with compliments. I'll get 15 unanswered texts throughout the day of her begging to hook up, asking me if she can call me her "pretend boyfriend." She constantly sends me naughty pictures and says things like, "if last night was just a hookup that's ok. Most guys don't want to be with me anyways...I get it :("

 

I really don't want to be a jerk, but I really don't want to date this girl. Any solutions on how to handle a stage 5 clinger without being a ******? And it's not I used her for sexy time. She basically forced me into a smash session to the point where it would have been rude not to. And now I don't know how to let her down lightly because she's like borderline obsessed with me apparently.

Sounds like she has serious emotional issues/daddy problems.

If you truly are a nice guy, tell her that you think she's a good worthwhile person, but you just don't see things working out between you two. Tell her that she has more value than just her body and that looking for a real boyfriend instead of a "pretend" one is 100% more rewarding in the long run.

[Non-Issue]

10 hours ago, SteelKing728 said:

Sounds like she has serious emotional issues/daddy problems.

If you truly are a nice guy, tell her that you think she's a good worthwhile person, but you just don't see things working out between you two. Tell her that she has more value than just her body and that looking for a real boyfriend instead of a "pretend" one is 100% more rewarding in the long run.

Tell her you just died, she is talking to a ghost, you have to head towards the light, but it was nice meeting her.

[JaguarCrazy2832]

On 7/13/2018 at 11:44 AM, UKTexans said:

So the big day is in 35 days and we're still having it! 

I think this planning has caused more arguments in 12 months than we've had in the previous 7 years of being together.

I feel ya there. There were so many arguments when planning for us but mostly between us and her mom because this was "her wedding"

[FinneasGage]

On 7/9/2018 at 9:26 PM, BleedTheClock said:

Here's a kind of weird situation:

 

So I'm a very nice guy. Too nice. I met a girl on Tinder and within the first 3 minutes of meeting her, she wanted to engage in sexy time in my back seat. I didn't initiate any of this, mind you. She is a freak. Did I smash? Yes. Do I regret it? For sure. She's super duper clingy and is constantly fishing for compliments by telling me about how other men call her ugly and blow her off and yada yada yada....she just wants me to serenade her with compliments. I'll get 15 unanswered texts throughout the day of her begging to hook up, asking me if she can call me her "pretend boyfriend." She constantly sends me naughty pictures and says things like, "if last night was just a hookup that's ok. Most guys don't want to be with me anyways...I get it :("

 

I really don't want to be a jerk, but I really don't want to date this girl. Any solutions on how to handle a stage 5 clinger without being a ******? And it's not I used her for sexy time. She basically forced me into a smash session to the point where it would have been rude not to. And now I don't know how to let her down lightly because she's like borderline obsessed with me apparently.

tell her you threw your back out while diarrhea'ing earlier in the day. every time she hits you up just get more revolting. "got too many sores that won't heal at the moment, im all lathered up in prescription steroid cream". make them more intense if she's still cool w/ the prior thing you said. 

for sure don't ghost her. are you still talking to her, this was a week back now that im looking at the date.. 

[BleedTheClock]

12 hours ago, FinneasGage said:

tell her you threw your back out while diarrhea'ing earlier in the day. every time she hits you up just get more revolting. "got too many sores that won't heal at the moment, im all lathered up in prescription steroid cream". make them more intense if she's still cool w/ the prior thing you said. 

for sure don't ghost her. are you still talking to her, this was a week back now that im looking at the date.. 

Not really...I've been more distant (mainly legit, because I've been supremely busy) and she kinda got the hint.

But she does still text me randomly at like 11pm-2am some night to see if I'm "down to clown." This is when I should drop the line, "sorry, I was busy scraping these sores/boils off of my groin last night and didn't have my phone on me."

[49ersfan]

2 things 

1- There's this girl i know who's  been flirty to me in person, but almost unresponsive by text. And also curious, just last week, she did me a small favor, and another friend said "why, you got a crush on him?" She replied "straight to the point!" and then "he's my friend". I didn't pursue it further. However, I was thinking, and I feel like if she wasn't interested/hadn't thought of me that way, she would be a lot more surprised/be more forceful in a denial, or incredulous. Her response gives me pause that she does have a crush on me, but like i said, talking to her via text is like pulling teeth, and it makes me feel like i'm a burden on her. Totally different in person and in text. Still debating whether to ask her out, feel its truly 50/50. 

2- I'm so sick of using tinder/bumble. The amount of flakes are staggering. I just had 2 girls flake on me in the last week and over the last 2 years, i've never actually met a woman off those apps (any women i've met have been off POF, OkCupid, or people i know in real life). What sucks is the girls i match with on tinder/bumble (esp bumble) are the best looking ones. But its such a gut punch to match with so many women and then they just flake and flop.

Edited July 18, 2018 by 49ersfan

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

46 minutes ago, 49ersfan said:

2 things 

1- There's this girl i know who's  been flirty to me in person, but almost unresponsive by text. And also curious, just last week, she did me a small favor, and another friend said "why, you got a crush on him?" She replied "straight to the point!" and then "he's my friend". I didn't pursue it further. However, I was thinking, and I feel like if she wasn't interested/hadn't thought of me that way, she would be a lot more surprised/be more forceful in a denial, or incredulous. Her response gives me pause that she does have a crush on me, but like i said, talking to her via text is like pulling teeth, and it makes me feel like i'm a burden on her. Totally different in person and in text. Still debating whether to ask her out, feel its truly 50/50. 

“More is lost by indecision than wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity.” - Cicero (and later Tony Soprano)

Ask the girl out.

 

[KhanYouDigIt]

55 minutes ago, 49ersfan said:

2 things 

1- There's this girl i know who's  been flirty to me in person, but almost unresponsive by text. And also curious, just last week, she did me a small favor, and another friend said "why, you got a crush on him?" She replied "straight to the point!" and then "he's my friend". I didn't pursue it further. However, I was thinking, and I feel like if she wasn't interested/hadn't thought of me that way, she would be a lot more surprised/be more forceful in a denial, or incredulous. Her response gives me pause that she does have a crush on me, but like i said, talking to her via text is like pulling teeth, and it makes me feel like i'm a burden on her. Totally different in person and in text. Still debating whether to ask her out, feel its truly 50/50. 

2- I'm so sick of using tinder/bumble. The amount of flakes are staggering. I just had 2 girls flake on me in the last week and over the last 2 years, i've never actually met a woman off those apps (any women i've met have been off POF, OkCupid, or people i know in real life). What sucks is the girls i match with on tinder/bumble (esp bumble) are the best looking ones. But its such a gut punch to match with so many women and then they just flake and flop.

Go to Target. You’ll find yourself a good girl.

[LETSGOBROWNIES]

1 hour ago, KhanYouDigIt said:

Go to Target. You’ll find yourself a good girl.

Or a married mother of 3 who’s let herself go the last 5 years.

 

[JaguarCrazy2832]

9 hours ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

Or a married mother of 3 who’s let herself go the last 5 years.

 

Yea don't ask that one out

[JaguarCrazy2832]

11 hours ago, 49ersfan said:

2 things 

1- There's this girl i know who's  been flirty to me in person, but almost unresponsive by text. And also curious, just last week, she did me a small favor, and another friend said "why, you got a crush on him?" She replied "straight to the point!" and then "he's my friend". I didn't pursue it further. However, I was thinking, and I feel like if she wasn't interested/hadn't thought of me that way, she would be a lot more surprised/be more forceful in a denial, or incredulous. Her response gives me pause that she does have a crush on me, but like i said, talking to her via text is like pulling teeth, and it makes me feel like i'm a burden on her. Totally different in person and in text. Still debating whether to ask her out, feel its truly 50/50. 

2- I'm so sick of using tinder/bumble. The amount of flakes are staggering. I just had 2 girls flake on me in the last week and over the last 2 years, i've never actually met a woman off those apps (any women i've met have been off POF, OkCupid, or people i know in real life). What sucks is the girls i match with on tinder/bumble (esp bumble) are the best looking ones. But its such a gut punch to match with so many women and then they just flake and flop.

#2 sucks, I hate that idea for meeting people but its a different world now

#1, I feel like she was put on the spot. What is she supposed to say? "Yea, i totally have a crush on 49ersfan"(Idk your name). Thats super awkward for her and you too. Its possible she does/doesnt have a crush on you but let me ask you this. What is the downside to asking this girl out? Do you work with her? Is she closely knit into a small group of friends you have together? If neither of those things are real threat to you, then i say go for it and just dont be a jerk about it