Relationship Advice Thread

[JaguarCrazy2832]

On 5/7/2018 at 10:35 AM, BullsandBroncos said:

ANYWAY.

How do you have the kid talk?

 

24, Married.

I assume since you already got married you have had some sort of kid talk. Like if you didnt want kids and she wanted 5, you probably wouldnt have gotten married. My wife and i made a compromise:

She wanted 3 kids

I wanted 2 kids

Compromise: 2 kids and a Siberian Husky. 

#MarriageGoals

[JaguarCrazy2832]

On 4/30/2018 at 1:03 PM, EliteTexan80 said:

Eh, my wife and I trust each other enough to allow for that, but it's not like we go out of our way to have friends of the opposite sex. Our circle is mostly made up of family and married people, so it's a non issue for us.

This is something that has always bugged me. Believe it or not, i have more friends than my wife and some of them were girls but they are basically my guy friends. We talk sports and whatnot and they are married too so i never think about it as an issue but my wife was always kind of worried. She has gotten much better having met these people so i would say if she doesnt know them then she would probably worry moreso

[BullsandBroncos]

I don't have many friends besides my woman's friend's husbands anymore really. But a few of them are sports junkies and have similar jobs so that worked out.

[49ersfan]

So i've noticed something with a few girls that are friends, or friends of friends lately - we'll be talking about something (a good restaurant to visit, last place we visited, movies to watch, etc) and they'll bring up their ex. And when i say bring up their ex, i mean phrasing like - ""oh thats a good movie, i saw it with my ex"" or "thats a good restaurant, i used to go there with my ex"" or "thats a good place to visit, last time i went i was there with my ex". You get the idea. 

The first time i'd hear something like that, i just kinda brushed it off. But then i began to wonder - is that a suble hint they're dropping that they're single? You can say you like that restaurant or movie without bringing up the ex, which just seems unnecessary (they never bring up the ex again except that 1 time). 

I've had several girls drop that line on me, and one of them i did end up dating for a short while. The others are kind of in limbo right now, or i'm not that into them, etc. 

What's all your guys take? Subtle hint maybe? Or no?

[Incarcerated_Scarface]

10 hours ago, 49ersfan said:

So i've noticed something with a few girls that are friends, or friends of friends lately - we'll be talking about something (a good restaurant to visit, last place we visited, movies to watch, etc) and they'll bring up their ex. And when i say bring up their ex, i mean phrasing like - ""oh thats a good movie, i saw it with my ex"" or "thats a good restaurant, i used to go there with my ex"" or "thats a good place to visit, last time i went i was there with my ex". You get the idea. 

The first time i'd hear something like that, i just kinda brushed it off. But then i began to wonder - is that a suble hint they're dropping that they're single? You can say you like that restaurant or movie without bringing up the ex, which just seems unnecessary (they never bring up the ex again except that 1 time). 

I've had several girls drop that line on me, and one of them i did end up dating for a short while. The others are kind of in limbo right now, or i'm not that into them, etc. 

What's all your guys take? Subtle hint maybe? Or no?

I dunno, maybe they just wish they weren't single and say it without knowing they said it. I have a really good friend who does that and she says it about an ex she had a long time ago.

[cddolphin]

16 hours ago, 49ersfan said:

What's all your guys take? Subtle hint maybe? Or no?

Just because a girl mentions her ex, doesn't mean she's single. She can have an ex but also be dating someone. That being said, women in relationships probably don't talk about their exes out loud all that much but I'm just guessing.

 

Now, most of what women (or men) do is intentional, if only at the subconscious level. I've always found that body language to be more revealing than words and it's really hard to communicate to us on the forum how it was said and whatnot.

It's something to make note of, that's about as seriously as I'd take it, though.

[scar988]

On 5/13/2018 at 10:18 AM, JaguarCrazy2832 said:

I assume since you already got married you have had some sort of kid talk. Like if you didnt want kids and she wanted 5, you probably wouldnt have gotten married. My wife and i made a compromise:

She wanted 3 kids

I wanted 2 kids

Compromise: 2 kids and a Siberian Husky. 

#MarriageGoals

I want 3 kids, my wife wants 2.

 

We've compromised to 2 kids and 2 pit bulls, (though no kids yet). I get the feeling our wives may have talked. 

[Malfatron]

1 minute ago, scar988 said:

I want 3 kids, my wife wants 2.

 

We've compromised to 2 kids and 2 pit bulls, (though no kids yet). I get the feeling our wives may have talked. 

have 3 kids and 2 pitbulls.

then sooner or later, youd be down to 2 kids anyway. everyone is happy.

 

 

<ducks out of thread>

[cddolphin]

5 minutes ago, MathMan said:

have 3 kids and 2 pitbulls.

then sooner or later, youd be down to 2 kids anyway. everyone is happy.

 

 

<ducks out of thread>

[CWood21]

On 5/24/2018 at 6:46 PM, 49ersfan said:

What's all your guys take? Subtle hint maybe? Or no?

I mean, it could be.  I wouldn't hold a ton of weight to it, but it's probably something worth noting.

[Incarcerated_Scarface]

So my wife and I just found out her mom has stage 3 cancer. This really sucks, she's a sweet woman. I love her like my own mom. Anyway, stage 3 is really bad. She's going to get treatment and all that and we hope it works. There's a side to this that we need to be realistic about tho too. She could die. I'm the one who handles the finances for our family and I know my wife helps her mom handle her finances. My question is this, how do I talk about this stuff to her? I don't want to have to bring it up but we also need to be ready in case her mom passes. Don't you think it would be good to have a plan for that too?

[Malfatron]

1 minute ago, steadypimpin said:

So my wife and I just found out her mom has stage 3 cancer. This really sucks, she's a sweet woman. I love her like my own mom. Anyway, stage 3 is really bad. She's going to get treatment and all that and we hope it works. There's a side to this that we need to be realistic about tho too. She could die. I'm the one who handles the finances for our family and I know my wife helps her mom handle her finances. My question is this, how do I talk about this stuff to her? I don't want to have to bring it up but we also need to be ready in case her mom passes. Don't you think it would be good to have a plan for that too?

ask her opinion on it first to see where her head is at

[MWil23]

15 hours ago, steadypimpin said:

So my wife and I just found out her mom has stage 3 cancer. This really sucks, she's a sweet woman. I love her like my own mom. Anyway, stage 3 is really bad. She's going to get treatment and all that and we hope it works. There's a side to this that we need to be realistic about tho too. She could die. I'm the one who handles the finances for our family and I know my wife helps her mom handle her finances. My question is this, how do I talk about this stuff to her? I don't want to have to bring it up but we also need to be ready in case her mom passes. Don't you think it would be good to have a plan for that too?

It all boils down to things like:

1. Who is the executor of the will/estate?

2. Who is her medical Power of Attorney?

I'd start by asking the SECOND question, like "Hey babe, do you know who her medical Power of Attorney is? We may be faced with some very difficult medical decisions and I want to know who will be making these."

From there, I wouldn't be surprised if some of these conversations came up naturally.

[Incarcerated_Scarface]

3 hours ago, MWil23 said:

It all boils down to things like:

1. Who is the executor of the will/estate?

2. Who is her medical Power of Attorney?

I'd start by asking the SECOND question, like "Hey babe, do you know who her medical Power of Attorney is? We may be faced with some very difficult medical decisions and I want to know who will be making these."

From there, I wouldn't be surprised if some of these conversations came up naturally.

I'm pretty sure my wife has power of attorney, she's the only child. It's just her and her mom, her dad passed a little before we got married. I just don't want to come off like I think her mom's gonna die. I don't she will but you never know. I care a lot but at the same time we need to be prepared beforehand. I don't think her mom made a will yet and I'm afraid to ask now. It's a touchy subject. 

[MWil23]

2 hours ago, steadypimpin said:

I'm pretty sure my wife has power of attorney, she's the only child. It's just her and her mom, her dad passed a little before we got married. I just don't want to come off like I think her mom's gonna die. I don't she will but you never know. I care a lot but at the same time we need to be prepared beforehand. I don't think her mom made a will yet and I'm afraid to ask now. It's a touchy subject. 

I understand but yet I don’t man. My dad passed a few years ago so I’m my moms POA and executor of the will. Tough decision and how to do it. I’d be supportive and if things get bleak then I’d bring up these discussions. But that said you should ask your wife if her mom has voiced to her the type of care she wants, if she has a DNR, etc.