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What are you thinking about?


pwny

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Just now, Ty21 said:

One kid of someone I graduated with looks like a zombie and has since it was born. Totally dead eyes, mouth drawn back, weird teeth. It’s entertaining. 

Note: roasting others’ kids doesn’t preclude me from roasting my own. My daughter’s forehead is a constant source of jokes 

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3 hours ago, Ty21 said:

Note: roasting others’ kids doesn’t preclude me from roasting my own. My daughter’s forehead is a constant source of jokes 

Plot twist: your wife had an affair with Peyton Manning. Pretty cool, all things considered.

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11 minutes ago, swoosh said:

Plot twist: your wife had an affair with Peyton Manning. Pretty cool, all things considered.

At least it was someone famous this time. I’d fully be like the dude on Semi Pro that lets his partner bang an athlete so I can be friends with that athlete 

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8 hours ago, swoosh said:

Plot twist: your wife had an affair with Peyton Manning. Pretty cool, all things considered.

Judge - Did you do a paternity test?

Ty- No, her first word was 'Omaha'

Judge - Damn, say less. Let's get the child support payments laid out then. 

 

 

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I was so ready for my son to be ugly when he was born. Both my wife and I were very surprised out how cute he was. Especially now that he's grown out of that newborn goblin looking phase, he's an objectively extremely cute baby (and that isn't just the parental hormones talking). This weekend my wife had a lot to do, so it was mostly him and I hanging out in bars/breweries. I swear, if I wasn't married, he'd be up there with a puppy as far as great wingmen go. He was smiling at every pretty girl that walked by lol.

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8 hours ago, minutemancl said:

I was so ready for my son to be ugly when he was born. Both my wife and I were very surprised out how cute he was. Especially now that he's grown out of that newborn goblin looking phase, he's an objectively extremely cute baby (and that isn't just the parental hormones talking). This weekend my wife had a lot to do, so it was mostly him and I hanging out in bars/breweries. I swear, if I wasn't married, he'd be up there with a puppy as far as great wingmen go. He was smiling at every pretty girl that walked by lol.

My son was a little Red Foreman. Instead of losing a little hair on the back of his head from the mattress he lost the top of his hair for some damn reason. Went full-blown Colin Mochrie for like 2 months. lol

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11 minutes ago, FinneasGage said:

Every time I need to poop in public I go to Office Depot. Nobody ever walks in. Bathrooms are always huge/most of the time can lock the main door/clean because nobody ever goes to Office Depot… this is Finn coming to you live from Office Depot

Thats actually helpful. Cause the Best Buy I was using closed last fall. And the Arbys I was using before that feels a huge step back now.

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9 minutes ago, PARROTHEAD said:

Thats actually helpful. Cause the Best Buy I was using closed last fall. And the Arbys I was using before that feels a huge step back now.

There’s actually a Best Buy in the same plaza as the Office Depot. Way too much traffic tho. I know people say Best Buy is dying, but not in my town for some reason. It’s like a Barnes and Noble in there with people just hanging out 

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2 hours ago, FinneasGage said:

Every time I need to poop in public I go to Office Depot. Nobody ever walks in. Bathrooms are always huge/most of the time can lock the main door/clean because nobody ever goes to Office Depot… this is Finn coming to you live from Office Depot

I find a Waffle House to do mine. The strong survive. 

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